I've been thinking about the topic of following our dreams and passions. (probably because I just watched La La Land, i didn't think i'd be into a broadway musical type of movie, but the production was really superb). A girl wants to be an actress and a guy wants to be a jazz musician. There's a point where they're faced with compromise, failures, set backs, opposition, criticism, disappointments and other tempting opportunities that might pull them away from achieving their dreams.
One thing I took away from it was that, following our dreams will require sacrifice. When we're committed to our goals, dreams and passions, we can't allow ourselves to get distracted, or to lose sight of our goals. Some of us may still be trying to find what we want to do in life. Beyond our dreams, desires, passions and goals, is something bigger. Our purpose. What were we created and called to do? Who are we called to be? How can I best glorify God and help others? Deep questions. But when we find our meaning and purpose, and God's plans for us, we unravel a deeper sense of our identity. We are all capable of loving and caring for others, and i think that's part of the formula.
Our general call and purpose is to know God's saving grace and to be part of God's kingdom and to know God and to be satisfied in Him. On top of that general call, we have a call to obedience to God's word, will and way. Then on top of that we have our individual specific callings and purposes, basically God's will for me today and for my life.
When we want to pursue our aspirations and goals, we need to have laser point focus. There will be sacrifices and distractions need to be cut away. What's truly important to you? What do you have to give up? What do you want in life? What does God want for our life? And is it worth the sacrifice? Sometimes I think of all the school and finances, and sometimes I do doubt myself. But then I come back to, I really would regret if I didn't pursue trying to become a counselor of some sort. Perhaps a pastoral counselor.
I still have another year of internship for mental health counseling. I have to rack up 700 hours, and then after I graduate, i believe it's another 1200 hours. That's a whole lot.. But in the end, I believe I'll be able to better help and counsel people. I think we all hurt, we all have pain, and in a sense we all need a sense of healing, care and support.
I had someone ask me before, .. "If money wasn't an issue, and you could be anything you wanted to, what would you want to be?" I do enjoy working with kids, and I also like sports and fitness. But I think it'd have to be something to do with church ministry or counseling, or both.
Back in the day, you couldn't choose what you wanted to be. If you grew up in a small town on a farm, you likely had to become a farmer, with not many options. I'm glad that we have the luxury to actually choose what field we'd like to pursue. Many people don't have the means to finance it. Instead of pursuing one's dreams, I can see why it might be more logically to just pick a career that pays really well. Money does solve a lot of problems, and can give you more options. If you're finically stable then you can still pursue your dreams even if it isn't your job. I think we all have multiple interest and passions. In many cases we need to work so that we can enjoy other hobbies.
I do respect and admire those who can give up so much to pursue their passions. They don't let opposition or obstacles stand in their way. They do whatever it takes. Consistency towards our goals is difficult because we aren't always motivated or inspired. We may not see how our day to day choices affect our long term goals. Eating right and exercising would definitely fall in that category. Another important piece is surrounding ourselves with positive relationships to support us.
Saturday, September 30, 2017
Saturday, August 26, 2017
Transformation
I've been pondering a few things lately. Each week i seem to go through many highs and many lows, and also just float somewhere in the middle. I'm learning how to change my perspective regardless of circumstances. How can we get a better grasp on how we feel and think? How can we respond more positively than allowing negative emotions to get the best of us? I ask myself, "Who do i want to be?" "What does my best self look like?" "How can I move closer to being better?" "How can I glorify God and live for his desires?" "What changes in my life do I need to make?"
It's easy to spiral down in a negative slump. Naturally I tend to be pretty pessimistic, and often focus too much on my flaws. I'm critical on my interactions, mistakes and failures. Perfectionist are always trying to do things right and condemn themselves when they don't meet their expectations or perform the way they planned. Anyone can make goals, but how do we press forward to achieve them consistently and daily?
Some days I feel very empty, lonely, confused, angry, distracted, depressed, weak, broken, unorganized, lazy, slothful, tired, numb, apathetic, worthless, insignificant, unstable, restless, overwhelmed, stressed, dark, hopeless, stuck. Maybe some of you can relate.
I live so much in my head I overthink and over analyze. Over introspection can lead to morbidity, gloom and despair. If we think about the past we can feel regret, guilt, shame, and depressed at what went wrong. If we ponder the unknown future, it can lead to fear, anxiety, worry, doubt, and uncertainty. We need to remember to live in the present and trust God with our past, present and future.
When I am full of energy and at my best self, I feel healthy, confident, excited, hopeful, creative, grateful, outgoing, whole, content, strong, and close to God. We're meant to approach life with peaceful meaningful relationships. We can choose to be positive. Find hobbies you enjoy. Laugh, smile, play, create, build, draw, sing, dance, write, dream, and do the things you love.
Stress is a perceived lack of control. There are two main types of stress. External and Internal. External applies to things outside of our control. This could be things like natural disasters or something like traffic. These things are outside of our control and things that we can't change. Internal stressors are things we do have control of. This could be feeling unprepared for a test. We can control how to approach stressful situations. We can reduce stress by studying, by controlling our environment and energy level. Some stress is actually good because it moves us to respond. We respond to stress with fight, flight or freeze. Stress can also affect our health, our habits, and the chemicals in our brain.
There a few things we can do to counter stress, anxiety and feelings of depression. Beside pharmaceutical drugs, we can increase our exercise. Exercise is one of the greatest ways to counter these negative feelings because exercise refreshes and helps balance the neurotransmitters and helps us to control stress. Our bodies need to get in anaerobic and aerobic exercise. Similarly, breathing techniques help us balance our oxygen and carbon dioxide levels. That's why ppl breathe in a paper bag when they have a panic attack. It traps the carbon dioxide when our brain thinks we're lacking oxygen. Then there's meditation which can come in many different forms. Prayer, worship music and spending time with God can definitely affect how we deal with stress, anxiety and depression. Proper eating and sleeping habits can also affect our mood. And lastly, healthy relationships helps build positive affirmation and self-esteem.
I think it's probably be beneficial for us millennials to disconnect from technology. It's easy to indulge and waste time on the couch watching tv, or spending too much time on our phones. We often completely miss connecting with others and enjoying God's creation.
I'm learning to try new things and to challenge myself. We can live in doubt, fear and live a safe comfortable life, or we can take risk to grow in the pursuit of our goals. I need to grow in more confidence, courage, and discipline. I need to take more initiative to stay focused on my goals. And as we pursue change, it will most likely require sacrifice and stepping outside of our comfort zone. Houses aren't built over night. We need to take small steps in the right direction, change our perspectives, and create better healthy habits.
What are we putting our time and money into? What are we investing into? what are our values? What do we yearn and long for? What do we think about most? For where our treasure is, there our heart will be also. Personally, we can do all these naturalistic self-help ways of growing and becoming our better selves. But at the core of deep change and spiritual formation is drawing closer to God. mkay bye
It's easy to spiral down in a negative slump. Naturally I tend to be pretty pessimistic, and often focus too much on my flaws. I'm critical on my interactions, mistakes and failures. Perfectionist are always trying to do things right and condemn themselves when they don't meet their expectations or perform the way they planned. Anyone can make goals, but how do we press forward to achieve them consistently and daily?
Some days I feel very empty, lonely, confused, angry, distracted, depressed, weak, broken, unorganized, lazy, slothful, tired, numb, apathetic, worthless, insignificant, unstable, restless, overwhelmed, stressed, dark, hopeless, stuck. Maybe some of you can relate.
I live so much in my head I overthink and over analyze. Over introspection can lead to morbidity, gloom and despair. If we think about the past we can feel regret, guilt, shame, and depressed at what went wrong. If we ponder the unknown future, it can lead to fear, anxiety, worry, doubt, and uncertainty. We need to remember to live in the present and trust God with our past, present and future.
When I am full of energy and at my best self, I feel healthy, confident, excited, hopeful, creative, grateful, outgoing, whole, content, strong, and close to God. We're meant to approach life with peaceful meaningful relationships. We can choose to be positive. Find hobbies you enjoy. Laugh, smile, play, create, build, draw, sing, dance, write, dream, and do the things you love.
Stress is a perceived lack of control. There are two main types of stress. External and Internal. External applies to things outside of our control. This could be things like natural disasters or something like traffic. These things are outside of our control and things that we can't change. Internal stressors are things we do have control of. This could be feeling unprepared for a test. We can control how to approach stressful situations. We can reduce stress by studying, by controlling our environment and energy level. Some stress is actually good because it moves us to respond. We respond to stress with fight, flight or freeze. Stress can also affect our health, our habits, and the chemicals in our brain.
There a few things we can do to counter stress, anxiety and feelings of depression. Beside pharmaceutical drugs, we can increase our exercise. Exercise is one of the greatest ways to counter these negative feelings because exercise refreshes and helps balance the neurotransmitters and helps us to control stress. Our bodies need to get in anaerobic and aerobic exercise. Similarly, breathing techniques help us balance our oxygen and carbon dioxide levels. That's why ppl breathe in a paper bag when they have a panic attack. It traps the carbon dioxide when our brain thinks we're lacking oxygen. Then there's meditation which can come in many different forms. Prayer, worship music and spending time with God can definitely affect how we deal with stress, anxiety and depression. Proper eating and sleeping habits can also affect our mood. And lastly, healthy relationships helps build positive affirmation and self-esteem.
I think it's probably be beneficial for us millennials to disconnect from technology. It's easy to indulge and waste time on the couch watching tv, or spending too much time on our phones. We often completely miss connecting with others and enjoying God's creation.
I'm learning to try new things and to challenge myself. We can live in doubt, fear and live a safe comfortable life, or we can take risk to grow in the pursuit of our goals. I need to grow in more confidence, courage, and discipline. I need to take more initiative to stay focused on my goals. And as we pursue change, it will most likely require sacrifice and stepping outside of our comfort zone. Houses aren't built over night. We need to take small steps in the right direction, change our perspectives, and create better healthy habits.
What are we putting our time and money into? What are we investing into? what are our values? What do we yearn and long for? What do we think about most? For where our treasure is, there our heart will be also. Personally, we can do all these naturalistic self-help ways of growing and becoming our better selves. But at the core of deep change and spiritual formation is drawing closer to God. mkay bye
Wednesday, June 7, 2017
What if..
So for class I've been stressing over writing a paper about integrating theology and psychology. I pulled an all nighter, which i haven't done in a long time (to work on a paper). Pulling all nighters to play games and watch movies is a different story lol. Anyways, even though i'm super sleep deprived, I was able to finish up my paper. I could've just turned in an old paper i've written years ago, but i ended up doing all the research and getting sources to write a new paper, that I thought was pretty good. Even though the teacher isn't strict on grading, it was more of a personal accomplishment to try and do my best.
Anyways.. I came in to class ready to present. But I forgot that we have a guess speaker. So this guy comes in and gives a long lecture about what it means to be a human being. And so we're all taking stabs at what it means to be a human being. I personally thought his lecture was confusing and all over the place. But at the end he did this activity. He passed out these medium size flash cards to everyone. He said, okay, you've been infected with a virus and been quarantined. You only have 30 days to live. But because you're quarantined, you will be isolated and you cannot have any contact with anyone, you can't see anyone or call anyone. This piece of paper is the last contact you'll have. You can write to only one person. You have 5 minutes to write.
And so everyone in class began to write quietly. I realized that people were really taking this very seriously. Most of the girls already started to cry and some of the guys were a little choked up, realizing that they were reenacting what it might be like to have to say goodbye to the person that they've known or loved the most. And so after our time was up, he began to call on people to share. Some refused, but he gently encouraged them to read what they wrote. So one after another we began reading our little cards. Things got super heavy really quick. Many of the girls were emotional and crying while they were reading. To me, i was more sad jus seeing people cry, that always kind of gets me. People were saying deep things to their loved ones, saying goodbye to their husbands, kids, parents etc. They were apologizing for not doing or saying enough. For not saying "i love you" enough or barely at all. They were thanking people and really trying to say their last words of how much they loved these people they had to part with. After everyone read, his bottom line point was that to be human is to love and to share love in these relationships. And me, trying to lighten up the mood of, hey guys, we don't really have the virus.. it's just pretend! we're still alive! lol. and i think it sorta reminded people that we still have the chance to say these things, to express and communicate how much you love and care for them.
Anyways.. I came in to class ready to present. But I forgot that we have a guess speaker. So this guy comes in and gives a long lecture about what it means to be a human being. And so we're all taking stabs at what it means to be a human being. I personally thought his lecture was confusing and all over the place. But at the end he did this activity. He passed out these medium size flash cards to everyone. He said, okay, you've been infected with a virus and been quarantined. You only have 30 days to live. But because you're quarantined, you will be isolated and you cannot have any contact with anyone, you can't see anyone or call anyone. This piece of paper is the last contact you'll have. You can write to only one person. You have 5 minutes to write.
And so everyone in class began to write quietly. I realized that people were really taking this very seriously. Most of the girls already started to cry and some of the guys were a little choked up, realizing that they were reenacting what it might be like to have to say goodbye to the person that they've known or loved the most. And so after our time was up, he began to call on people to share. Some refused, but he gently encouraged them to read what they wrote. So one after another we began reading our little cards. Things got super heavy really quick. Many of the girls were emotional and crying while they were reading. To me, i was more sad jus seeing people cry, that always kind of gets me. People were saying deep things to their loved ones, saying goodbye to their husbands, kids, parents etc. They were apologizing for not doing or saying enough. For not saying "i love you" enough or barely at all. They were thanking people and really trying to say their last words of how much they loved these people they had to part with. After everyone read, his bottom line point was that to be human is to love and to share love in these relationships. And me, trying to lighten up the mood of, hey guys, we don't really have the virus.. it's just pretend! we're still alive! lol. and i think it sorta reminded people that we still have the chance to say these things, to express and communicate how much you love and care for them.
Saturday, May 6, 2017
No Thanks
Lately I've been conflicted on when I should yes or no to opportunities. I know it's not good to just let opportunities just slip away, but sometimes I have to learn when to say no. I end up becoming a people pleaser, probably because deep down we all want to be liked. But sometimes if we say yes to everything and over extend ourselves, we become too busy and burnt out. It's easy to fill up a weekly schedule with too many commitments and responsibilities. My plate has been so full that i just cant do it all. Sometimes I hesitate to make a choice and the opportunity might no longer be available. I've been really out of energy lately that i've had to decline doing all that I could. It's okay to say "No thanks, maybe next time." Life isn't just about work, work, work. We need balance.
Saturday, April 22, 2017
Thirteen Reasons Why
13 Reasons Why is about a girl who commits suicide and left 13 tapes for people to listen to. Each tape tells a story of someone who contributed to why she decided to make her choice. The story could've gone a hundred different ways, but I like that it shows our human depravity and imperfections. We've all hurt someone somehow, by our words, actions or lack there of. The smallest of actions can have big consequences, for better or worse.
I think it reaffirmed my pursuit of going into the mental health profession of counseling. There are tons of ppl hurting with various problems, and sometimes all they need is someone willing to help, listen and care.
Quotes
"Are you being bullied?
Am I being bullied?
What if I was the bully mom?
Would you want to know that?
You would never be a bully
How do you know that?
Because I know you. Because you're a good kid.
Maybe there aren't any good kids."
"You don't f*ck with another dude's car"
"I think i'm losing my sh*t
Sh*t is overrated. lose it."
"Would you just shut up tony?
I get so sick of your little sayings and things you point out acting all wise
You're like this unhelpful yoda"
"all guys are assholes. some are assholes all the time, all are assholes some of the time"
"I was going to work harder. be smarter. and be stronger. because u cant change other people, but you can change yourself."
"you cant go back to how things were or how you thought they were. All you really have is now.
"Dream big of all the things you can be. Don't settle."
"Some of you care. None of you cared enough."
"It has to get better. The way we treat each other and look out for each other. It has to get better somehow."
Friday, April 21, 2017
Why so serious?
If u know me at all, u probably know that i live too much in my head. i guess it's ironic to blog my thoughts about how i overthink. my therapist once said that she thinks i get easily overwhelmed. that's probably true. I overthink, over analyze, and can take things too seriously. Sure there's a time to reflect, meditate and observe, but too much is no bueno.
has anyone ever made a comment that is meant to be a joke but u jus take it too seriously or personally? sometimes we view our tiny first world problems in great fear, as if it's something chaostropic. keep it simple stupid. don't sweat the small stuff.
One of the best ways to turn my head off is to focus on something else.. like playing games, watching movies, exercising or listening to music. my mind can get too active and hyper and it needs to jus chill out more. What are things that help you to calm down and relax? Sometimes just taking a few deep breaths really does help.
Do u ever re-read and over analyze what u write and think to yourself, hmm maybe i could say this in a better way, maybe i could use better words, maybe i shouldn't say this at all, why does my grammar and spelling suck? how can i edit this? how might this be misinterpreted? what the heck exactly am i even saying this and why bother? i feel like im constantly trying to connect and organize my thoughts into words so me no sound dumb.
Sometimes i put too much care and meaning into things or people when it should be pretty easy and simple. i can go a bit overboard. Sometimes less is more. Sometimes i exaggerate my problems and make them more complicated than they are.
ive always been pretty critical and hard on myself. with somethings i can be too much of a perfectionist. i worry about what i said or did or what i didn't say or do, or what i might say or do, or how it was interpreted.
Sometimes i regret saying something stupid that i can't take back, sometimes i regret not speaking up and saying something when i should've. It takes confidence and courage to speak up, wisdom to know when to bite your tongue, and great discernment to know when to speak or withhold.
I think i worry too much. Sometimes i think of all the alternative choices or possible worlds that could be if i made a different choice, (probably why i like turn based strategy games so much). sometimes im so afraid of making the wrong choice i can't decide to go left or right. Im rarely ever 100% confident in any of my decisions lately. What do u want to eat? im like 60% sure i want somen salad, and 40% sure i want eggs and rice. and sometimes u jus hafta make decisions even if ur not entirely sure.
When i do make a wrong choice i hold so much anger toward myself. i say ah shucks, i should've done it like this, i should of said it better, i shouldn't have said or done x, y and z. Sometimes i catastrophize and think the worse is going to happen. What if i end up alone forever? What if i amount to nothing? What if i lose everything and everyone i care about? What if i make a huge mistake? What if im jus a disappointment, a failure, and a screw up? Negative thinking does us no good.
we're gonnd make mistakes. it's part of being human. and i guess failure and mistakes are part of the learning process to make better decisions. And when we do goof up, we cant dwell and internalize them for too long, or they'll jus eat us up into we're paralyzed. All we can do is try our best next time.
I admire those who are cheerful, carefree and lighthearted. Sometimes i wish i could be like my cat. He jus chills all day, and is always so relaxed.
God is always available to take away our worries, fears, doubts, anxious thoughts, and burdens. In the midst of our pain, emptiness and brokenness, it's amazing how he can give us stillness and peace. He gives us living water, only he can satisfy. I usually try to find escapes through other means, when ultimately he is the only one who has the power to give us true rest, comfort and peace.
Simplicity
Be kind, compassionate and gentle to yourself.
Stop overthinking
Meditate
Everything will be alright
Kill negative thoughts
Try to be more positive
Relax
Don't take things too seriously
has anyone ever made a comment that is meant to be a joke but u jus take it too seriously or personally? sometimes we view our tiny first world problems in great fear, as if it's something chaostropic. keep it simple stupid. don't sweat the small stuff.
One of the best ways to turn my head off is to focus on something else.. like playing games, watching movies, exercising or listening to music. my mind can get too active and hyper and it needs to jus chill out more. What are things that help you to calm down and relax? Sometimes just taking a few deep breaths really does help.
Do u ever re-read and over analyze what u write and think to yourself, hmm maybe i could say this in a better way, maybe i could use better words, maybe i shouldn't say this at all, why does my grammar and spelling suck? how can i edit this? how might this be misinterpreted? what the heck exactly am i even saying this and why bother? i feel like im constantly trying to connect and organize my thoughts into words so me no sound dumb.
Sometimes i put too much care and meaning into things or people when it should be pretty easy and simple. i can go a bit overboard. Sometimes less is more. Sometimes i exaggerate my problems and make them more complicated than they are.
ive always been pretty critical and hard on myself. with somethings i can be too much of a perfectionist. i worry about what i said or did or what i didn't say or do, or what i might say or do, or how it was interpreted.
Sometimes i regret saying something stupid that i can't take back, sometimes i regret not speaking up and saying something when i should've. It takes confidence and courage to speak up, wisdom to know when to bite your tongue, and great discernment to know when to speak or withhold.
I think i worry too much. Sometimes i think of all the alternative choices or possible worlds that could be if i made a different choice, (probably why i like turn based strategy games so much). sometimes im so afraid of making the wrong choice i can't decide to go left or right. Im rarely ever 100% confident in any of my decisions lately. What do u want to eat? im like 60% sure i want somen salad, and 40% sure i want eggs and rice. and sometimes u jus hafta make decisions even if ur not entirely sure.
When i do make a wrong choice i hold so much anger toward myself. i say ah shucks, i should've done it like this, i should of said it better, i shouldn't have said or done x, y and z. Sometimes i catastrophize and think the worse is going to happen. What if i end up alone forever? What if i amount to nothing? What if i lose everything and everyone i care about? What if i make a huge mistake? What if im jus a disappointment, a failure, and a screw up? Negative thinking does us no good.
we're gonnd make mistakes. it's part of being human. and i guess failure and mistakes are part of the learning process to make better decisions. And when we do goof up, we cant dwell and internalize them for too long, or they'll jus eat us up into we're paralyzed. All we can do is try our best next time.
I admire those who are cheerful, carefree and lighthearted. Sometimes i wish i could be like my cat. He jus chills all day, and is always so relaxed.
God is always available to take away our worries, fears, doubts, anxious thoughts, and burdens. In the midst of our pain, emptiness and brokenness, it's amazing how he can give us stillness and peace. He gives us living water, only he can satisfy. I usually try to find escapes through other means, when ultimately he is the only one who has the power to give us true rest, comfort and peace.
Simplicity
Be kind, compassionate and gentle to yourself.
Stop overthinking
Meditate
Everything will be alright
Kill negative thoughts
Try to be more positive
Relax
Don't take things too seriously
Friday, February 17, 2017
Mental Prison
My old roommate and I used to have a term to describe how it felt to be really stressed out about school. We called it, "mental prison." When you have an exam to study for or a huge research paper to write you're not physically enslaved, but mentally stuck in prison because you can't fully enjoy anything knowing you need to study or finish school work. I've been in mental prison the past two weeks. I also got sick, so ive been pretty miserable.
Saturday, January 14, 2017
New Years Resolutions
So i guess now that it's a new year that means we're supposed to be super resolved and goal orientated right? i think every year i cant help but reflect on where i am in life and where i'm headed. Sometimes it doesn't seem like i'm headed anywhere. Sometimes it feels like i'm moving backwards more than forwards. However, sometimes it's necessary to take a step back, so we learn how to get back on our feet when we're down. Even if we do move backwards, there are lessons to be learned and just gaining a deeper understanding of ourselves can be something positive.
Friday, December 16, 2016
New Years
Dad: You want some desert?
Me: Nah, one of my new year's resolutions is to
have more discipline
Dad: Yeah, but it's not the new year yet!
Me: Okay I'll have desert
Mom: This year we're gonna do it Japanese style
and clean up the house before the new year
Me: Japanese style? But you're Chinese..
What's the Chinese style?
Mom: Do nothing.
Me: What's the Korean style?
Mom: Eat kimchi.
Wednesday, December 7, 2016
God,
Please help me. God I need your wisdom and guidance. Restore me, lead me, teach me. Help me make good choices and to listen to your will. Abba Father, have your way with me. I surrender all to you. Your grace is sufficient. And in my weaknesses, may you be my strength. May you be glorified. Help me to step outside of my comfort zone. Give me clarity, direction and peace. Empower me. Give me the courage, confidence and self-discipline to be my best self. Help me to trust you more. Fill me with your love and joy. Thank you, Amen.
Please help me. God I need your wisdom and guidance. Restore me, lead me, teach me. Help me make good choices and to listen to your will. Abba Father, have your way with me. I surrender all to you. Your grace is sufficient. And in my weaknesses, may you be my strength. May you be glorified. Help me to step outside of my comfort zone. Give me clarity, direction and peace. Empower me. Give me the courage, confidence and self-discipline to be my best self. Help me to trust you more. Fill me with your love and joy. Thank you, Amen.
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
inner voices overthinking
it's been difficult to try and hold it all together. have you ever felt like you might just break? ive felt like exploding and just falling apart. ive been trying to do everything responsibly, but im so overwhelmed, and super tired. feeling stressed would be an understatement.
I feel a bit broken. i feel worried and confused. i feel depressed and negative emotions. i feel sad, lonely, defeated, empty, discouraged and angry at myself. i question myself, i doubt myself. sometimes fears overwhelm me.
what happens when i lose ppl in my life? What happens if i end up alone? What happens if i can't make enough money to survive? What happens if i never live up to my potential? What happens if my best efforts just aren't enough?
Sometimes i just need someone to tell me that it's all going to be okay.
I can hear two schizophrenic voices of myself talking to me. i ask myself if i can really do this all? Why am i doing this? Why am i really doing this? how do other people do it? How come my best doesn't seem good enough? it's too hard. i jus wanna drop everything. Im exhausted. im dead tired. im burnt out. i gots no energy.
i know negative thoughts and feelings don't do much good, but should we deny how we really feel? if i feel sad, isn't it okay to feel sad?
i wish i could turn back the time to when i could jus play in the sand as a kid. turn back the time to when i could jus play freeze tag. turn back the time to when i didnt hafta worry about anything.
Maybe you are trying to do to much. It's okay to slow down.
Don't give up. stop complaining. others have it way harder. and ur whining about feeling a little stressed? uve got it good. jus take it one day at a time. you're capable of doing it all. fight back. you can overcome these obstacles. You're much stronger than you think. what's really so hard? What do you really want? What's your goals? what's important to you? somethings must be fought through. and important things must be fought for. because in the end its worth it. motivate yourself. Challenge yourself. dont be afraid of hard work. giving up would be too easy. what would it really be like if u just gave up? things will get better. You'll get better. everything will be alright. believe you can succeed. You can choose who u want to be. You can make a difference for others. You can do great things. hard work pays off. just keep moving. Do your best. Be your best self. stop spendin all your money u fool! listen to music. study hard. eat right. work out. sleep early. balance your life. focus. Pray. trust. find your strength in God. I can do all things through him who gives me strength. persevere. Do not worry.
instead of listening to all ur inner voices, perhaps we should be trying to listen to God's voice. Wouldn't the God of the universe know what's best for us?
Matthew 6:25-34
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers/ lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, you of little faith? So do not worry, saying 'What shall we eat?' or 'what shall we drink?' or 'what shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
I feel a bit broken. i feel worried and confused. i feel depressed and negative emotions. i feel sad, lonely, defeated, empty, discouraged and angry at myself. i question myself, i doubt myself. sometimes fears overwhelm me.
what happens when i lose ppl in my life? What happens if i end up alone? What happens if i can't make enough money to survive? What happens if i never live up to my potential? What happens if my best efforts just aren't enough?
Sometimes i just need someone to tell me that it's all going to be okay.
I can hear two schizophrenic voices of myself talking to me. i ask myself if i can really do this all? Why am i doing this? Why am i really doing this? how do other people do it? How come my best doesn't seem good enough? it's too hard. i jus wanna drop everything. Im exhausted. im dead tired. im burnt out. i gots no energy.
i know negative thoughts and feelings don't do much good, but should we deny how we really feel? if i feel sad, isn't it okay to feel sad?
i wish i could turn back the time to when i could jus play in the sand as a kid. turn back the time to when i could jus play freeze tag. turn back the time to when i didnt hafta worry about anything.
Maybe you are trying to do to much. It's okay to slow down.
Don't give up. stop complaining. others have it way harder. and ur whining about feeling a little stressed? uve got it good. jus take it one day at a time. you're capable of doing it all. fight back. you can overcome these obstacles. You're much stronger than you think. what's really so hard? What do you really want? What's your goals? what's important to you? somethings must be fought through. and important things must be fought for. because in the end its worth it. motivate yourself. Challenge yourself. dont be afraid of hard work. giving up would be too easy. what would it really be like if u just gave up? things will get better. You'll get better. everything will be alright. believe you can succeed. You can choose who u want to be. You can make a difference for others. You can do great things. hard work pays off. just keep moving. Do your best. Be your best self. stop spendin all your money u fool! listen to music. study hard. eat right. work out. sleep early. balance your life. focus. Pray. trust. find your strength in God. I can do all things through him who gives me strength. persevere. Do not worry.
instead of listening to all ur inner voices, perhaps we should be trying to listen to God's voice. Wouldn't the God of the universe know what's best for us?
Matthew 6:25-34
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers/ lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, you of little faith? So do not worry, saying 'What shall we eat?' or 'what shall we drink?' or 'what shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Tuesday, November 1, 2016
thoughts
I seem to have constant reoccurring lessons. it's easy to lose sight of our goals. it's easy to fall into apathy and just go through our daily routines. Ive been busy trying to juggle work and school that it's nice to jus have a day to not worry about anything. Every once in a while it's very refreshing to step outside of our circumstances and reflect on who we are, who we want to be and what we value.
This year i wanted to grow in self-confidence and somehow i think i have. If we grow in confidence we can tackle things in life without doubting ourselves. Who cares if we fail, that's part of the learning process. Who cares what others think, just be yourself. I also want to work on being more positive, that includes killing negative thoughts, how i view myself and how i interact with others. But.. easier said then done. Have you ever met someone who purposely tries to be very positive and smiles a lot? It's contagious.
There's a verse in 1 Corinthians 13 that talks about how if we do not love, we are nothing. I remember we had to memorize this chapter in junior high and high school. If we don't love God, ourselves and others, really life becomes meaningless and also very empty. So with this it becomes pretty clear what is important in life. Treasure God's goodness, treasure relationships, see yourself and love yourself the way God loves you. And then when we look back at all our problems, anxieties, and insecurities, they really don't seem so bad in the big picture. In fact, life is actually really good!
This year i wanted to grow in self-confidence and somehow i think i have. If we grow in confidence we can tackle things in life without doubting ourselves. Who cares if we fail, that's part of the learning process. Who cares what others think, just be yourself. I also want to work on being more positive, that includes killing negative thoughts, how i view myself and how i interact with others. But.. easier said then done. Have you ever met someone who purposely tries to be very positive and smiles a lot? It's contagious.
There's a verse in 1 Corinthians 13 that talks about how if we do not love, we are nothing. I remember we had to memorize this chapter in junior high and high school. If we don't love God, ourselves and others, really life becomes meaningless and also very empty. So with this it becomes pretty clear what is important in life. Treasure God's goodness, treasure relationships, see yourself and love yourself the way God loves you. And then when we look back at all our problems, anxieties, and insecurities, they really don't seem so bad in the big picture. In fact, life is actually really good!
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