Introspection

donchya hate long blogs? me too. meahn! I don't like reading long blogs, and yet my blogs are always the longest, lol

im pretty sure ive been goin through slumps of mild depression. there are moments of happiness, usually video games, food and sleep, lol. But the problem is i can't trace the root of the depression. In the past i think loneliness attributed to some depression, but i don't really feel lonely. I think it's because i'm not satisfied in so many areas of my life. it feels like nothing is going really well. i'm not doin horrible in these areas, i jus feel like i've been sloppy and that everything is slowly falling apart. 

dogs!

why can't i sleep at a normal time like a normal person
ahh school is kicking me in the butt
i hope i dont get sick this winter
i miss hawaii weather, not too hot and not too cold
i want cereal and a sausage mcmuffin
i miss my childhood days
i want shaved ice
i like cartoons
i wish i had a real BEMO ^_^
i wish i had a photographic memory
how come i hafta pee like 20 kajillion times a day!
i wonder if a presidential candidate ran for office and promised free chicken mcnuggets and ice cream cones for everyone, how many ppl would vote for him, heck if arnold can win, anythin is possible
i wonder if ill ever drink coffee, read the news paper, and play golf
i had a dream i had a little baby girl
felt strange being a dad for awhile and changing diapers
i reallllllly want a dog
i saw a little brown furry one by himself on the sidewalk,
why do dogs always look so happy?
i remember i used to be scared of them when they were bigger than me
i like the way they walk, lol
i love dogs, i love every kind a dog, i jus want to hug all of them
but i cant huge every dog
i jus love them and i want them. i want them in a basket
and ones with little bow ties, i want them on a rainbow and in my bed, so we can jus roll around, roll around
i even came up with a list of all the fun things i'd do if i had a dog
it included, long adventurous walks, hunting, frisbees, a giant dog house, hiking, eating steaks, cooking breakfast, wearing pajamas, basketball, movies, video games, mcflurries, teaching it to talk, making music videos, traveling, killing zombies, chasing ppl on the street, and pooping on yards
i wanna be like ace ventura and have a bunch of crazy animals for pets
but minus the smell, poop, mess and having to feed them part, lol
it'd be cool to talk to animals
im sorry im thinking about dogs again, and again and again
lol if u never saw the "i love cats video" i guess u'd think i'm kinda weird
actually, who isn't weird?
i thought it was funny how my friend's mom made pillows with pictures of her dogs on em
i think i love monkeys too
itd be awesome to have a well trained monkey
im sick of fast food, wingstop never again!
our country is battling obesity and yet there's a fast food place on every corner!
it's a love hate relationship,
i feel like i'm always craving a burger, fries, a cold soda, and ice cream
cheap, fast, no dishes!
it's so hard to go grocery shoppin for healthy food
i guess i gotta go back to cookin chicken and vegetables every night.
i should train my dog to cook, and then have other dogs do my laundry and hw
seriously how come i cant jus go to sleep at night
i miss long summer/winter breaks
kinda miss being home..
lol i cant believe u wasted ur time reading this
i sound like im 5yrs old

WooriChurch

ZOMBIES!!

I can't stop watching this show called, "The Walking Dead." It's all i think about. second season has some slow boring parts, but it's still good because this show actually understands how to build different dynamics of character development. Each character is complex and has conflict with other characters. It's about a group of people who are trying to survive a plague that turned almost everyone into a "walker" (zombie). Each episode ends with suspense, making you want more.

There's a good guy named shane, who later turns out to be kinda crazy. He'll do anything survive.. Then there's the protagonist Rick, who's the leader and tries to make the best judgements. He goes out of his way to rescue and save people. Then there's Rick's wife, Lori. She thought Rick died, and hooked up with Shane, but then found out Rick was still alive, so she kept it all a secret. Then there's this old guy named Dale. He's so awesome because he always looks out for people and wants to keep people safe. He has the best talks to convince people of what's right and wrong. He can also read people well and knows when someone's lying. Then there's the young asian guy, Glen who used to be a pizza delivery guy. He kinda acts as the comic relief. Then there's T-dog, this black guy who feels like he's left out of the group, but he's actually a pretty good guy. Then there's Andrea. She's been through the most trauma and she got a lil suicidal cuz she didn't wanna hafta suffer in this fallen zombie world. And then there's this hunter survivalist dude named Daryl. At first he was kinda the jerk who only cared for himself and had a short fuse. But then as the story develops he kinda turns into a pretty good guy. you guys probably wouldn't like it cuz it has gory scenes of zombies tryin to eat people. The zombie actors actually look pretty real. i lose sleep because of this show.

So anyways.. that's what ive been thinkin about all day long. It makes me think, what if zombies were real. and i needed food, guns and shelter. At least there wouldn't be any school hw and i wouldn't need to pay back finical aid! There's a new game called Call of Duty Black Ops 2. And it has a zombie mode.. im really looking forward to it. i love shooting zombies, then making money to buy cooler guns. I guess that's what makes Minecraft fun too. Build a house and run around protecting yourself from zombies.

When i'm not thinkin about zombies i'm thinkin about how cool it'd be to be a ninja like naruto. I would have all these cool jutsu ninja techniques and skills. I would be able to control elements, be able to train, protect a village and fight bad guys! And then.. when i'm not thinkin about zombies, and naruto ninjas, i play pokemon! i finally beat the game, but there's still more places to explore! i think it'd be cool to not hafta go to school, fly on my dragon bird pokemon, catch new friends, and battle random ppl standing in the grass. It'd be cool to have an awesome pokemon theme song playing wherever i go.

Then, when i'm not thinking about zombies, ninjas, or pokemon. My mind goes straight to superheros and superpowers. I am anxiously waiting for x-men vs avengers, the first cross over comic book. it comes in the mail late november.. u guys probably don't care at all, but Captain America n the Avengers wanna destroy this girl named Hope. She's said to be the next Phoenix. Jean Grey the last Phoenix destroyed cities and went on a killing rampage. But Cyclops and the X-men are trying to protect Hope, because they think she'll bring new life, healing and new birth to their mutant species. Later Cyclops and some other x-men receive the power of the phoenix, but cyclops loses his cool and has too much power. so then the Avengers attempt to stop them. Oh so much action! I would ace school if they tested me on these things that actually have value.

I jus watched a Batman movie, and it was different because Bruce
Wayne is retired and old. He hasta fight ppl with his smarts, and even when he gets all beat up from this big huge guy, Batman has redemption. He draws strength from the pain of his past. He summons this deep willpower, fight crime and see justice, protect the weak and see justice. Then after i think about all those things.. i realize i still haven't done my homework. so i go to sleep, and dream a world without studying hebrew.

Homework Thursdays

I like Thursdays. Since i don't have class i originally tried to dedicate Thursdays for homework. Wednesday nights I tell myself, i'll wake up and go to corner bakery, panera, starbucks or even norms to go study like a good student..

But this is what happens
I wake up late.. (oh so awesome to not be forced by an alarm clock)
I stay in pajamas all day..
(yah it's actually gettin cold enough to where i wear socks, pjs, n a jacket)
I make my visalus, maybe find some yogurt or ice cream,
play some video games
watch naruto!
watch walking dead.. oh sooooo intense, ahh!
i still needta watch a new animated batman movie
by then it starts to get late in the afternoon
so i debate on going to the gym to do somethin productive
i normally fail and end up blogging about it
then i evolve into a snorlax eating snacks and fallin into naps, oh snap
then my roommate comes home n we end up playin video games
so much for Homework Thursdays
also didnt do any devos

It's strange when i have a free day. I treat it like a one day summer break. I should really go out to study, wkout, or do something productive

mm.. maybe later.. zzz

help

²⁸ Do you not know?
   Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
   the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
   and his understanding no one can fathom.
²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
   and increases the power of the weak.
³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
   and young men stumble and fall;
³¹ but those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,
   they will walk and not be faint.

-Isaiah 40:28-31

God i feel tired, weary and weak. Renew my strength..

Choices

I know what i should do..
Go to school and stay awake
Catch up and study your hebrew
Get your papers and projects done
Go to sleep early
Eat healthier
Go to the gym
Do chores, cleaning, errands, etc
Call my family/friends and pray for them
Spend more time being present with God

But here's what i've been doing..
Skipping class
Not doing homework
Sleeping at 3-4am
Eating too much junk food
Video games, video games, video games
Internet, facebook, youtube, email, tumblr, hulu, 9gag, blogging, repeat
Burning CDs
Watching movies
Taking lazy naps
Chasing after idols to fill me rather than God


God please help me

self-talk

Sometimes i don't get it. sometimes i feel so weak. You say you love God. That yes, God is most important. but then why don't you live like he is? Why is it so hard to be patient. To wait, to sit, and to be with God. it really is simple. But yet your anxious heart runs violently after self-destroying idols. They do not satisfy your deepest desire. Yeah they might cure your present ache temporarily. But these cravings and lusts won't fulfill the deep longings that your soul really thirsts.

chris sometimes you rely too much on yourself. Rely and trust in God. God always comes through with what's best, even when it doesn't seem like it. God disciplines those he loves. God is patient and merciful. Hear Him call. Hear Him speak. He's drawing you to Himself. Quiet your soul. Empty yourself and fill yourself with Him. In Him there is nothing but light. He is full of love and peace. He doesn't accuse nor condemn. He delights in you. See yourself the way He sees you. Remain in Him.

“Be still, and know that I am God" -Psalm 42:6

 Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” -John 4:13-14  In peace I will lie down and sleep,
   for you alone, LORD,
   make me dwell in safety. -Psalm 4:8

  “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. -Matt 11:28

God,
make me the person you want me to be. transform and change my heart, renew my spirit. im lost without you. humble me, and diffuse my negative talk. I want to come back to a heart of worship. Help me to love. help me to find rest in you. consume me, break me, mold, and shape me. So often i feel empty and tired. Fill me and be my strength. Strengthen me and use me to bless and serve others. Fill me with joy once again. Fill me with a burning desire. Help me to move my faith into action. And to draw from your well. You are the one who replenishes me. You are a God who heals, delivers and restores. Be my shield in the midst of pain, suffering or hurt. Remind me that you are always near. Whisper your loving kindness. Fill me with the presence of your Spirit. Help me to be more disciplined and to use my time more wisely. Also please help me to pray for others. May you receive all the glory and may your will be done. Amen,

The Lazy Bug

Do you ever have internal struggles with yourself. I fight myself daily. I tell myself, don't waste today, be productive and get some stuff done! I make a list of all the homework, chores, and errands to do. but the books are still unread, the papers still havn't been started, my hebrew books are still in my backpack, the laundry is still dirty, and my mom didn't magically fly to california to stack my refrigerator with cooked food. I have a problem getting things done, unless they're urgent or due very soon. i guess that's called procrastination. cuz i know i'll get to those things eventually. I'll stop procrastinating..tomorrow. lol

so what do i do? i blog about how lazy ive been. Even though i didn't get any work done, and the day is almost over.. i did make progress in video games, lol. that's not something i should be proud of. hours jus seem to fly by. Then there's a wind of "i should get something done!" so i get off the couch and use the bathroom, and come back to the couch and fall into a cycle of drowsiness. i blame the internet, media and entertainment. But really it's jus a lack of willpower, motivation and self discipline. Analyzing problems and not making any moves of action, still leaves me with the same problem. why am i complaining, when ppl are buy at work or have demanding things to do?

i need to go gym. it's hard to get myself there if i go alone

Step 1)  Pray to God for help
Step 2)  Wake up! Get off the couch bro, roll off if u hafta
Step 3)  Get off the stinkin computer, no utube wont help!
Step 4)  no seriously.. really get off the computer
Step 5)  go get C4 preworkout for energy
Step 6)  no chris, don't go back to the couch!
Step 7)  kill your excuses and put some socks on man
Step 8)  brush your teeth
Step 9)  listen to loud music, "preliator by globus"
Step 10)Pack your bag and get out the door

hard work, dedication, sacrifice, focus
 do whatever it takes to motivate yourself. Vision + Intent.
Push yourself!
u can do it! now go!!!
My dad once said.. no one is lazy becomes successful

_________

came back from the gym
i forget how happy the gym makes me
it's fun lifting heavy weights and pushing yourself beyond limits
i did this cycle class, and it was intense. i could barely walk after
i need to be more consistent with the gym
idk what it is about exercising that rejuvenates me and makes me feel alive
the key is staying motivated and disciplined
but sometimes it's so hard to get there, lol
accountability and a gym partner really help and make it more fun

RISE

this blog was never meant to be a place where i jus vent about problems. I wanted my blog to be about God. I wanted it to be uplifting and encouraging. And not filled complaints or negativity. I've been trying so hard to hold my tongue on any negative thoughts. But the fact is, life has many obstacles to overcome. Trials make us stronger. Suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character; and character, hope. So when life gets hard, look up and put your hope in God! Overcoming difficulties requires us to rise to the challenge and to mature. More importantly, we're given the choice to either face our problems on our own, or to trust God in the midst of them. God also surrounds us with the body of the church so we can lend and receive support from others. Regardless of how big or small your problems are, God cares about all the things we struggle with. And by walking with him, he begins a growing process of change, discipline, and sanctification.


Some random thoughts, and me battling my bad habits

1) My stomach is driving me nuts. It's obvious it's another ulcerative colitus flare up. But i'm too stubborn to go to the doctor. The pills i'm taking now are slowly helping. And i read on peptobismo that you're not supposed to take if u have ulcers.. so i was like.. oops.. do i bear out the pain till it goes away? or go through the hassle of doctor appointments? lol i'm choosing to bear it out..
2) I need to get my life organized. It's hard to break old habits. Sleeping super late affects my next day. I need to sleep earlier and eat healthier.
3) I need to clean my room. i kinda get tired of cleaning, and things become messy fast. I need to do laundry.
4) I need to start working out harder and more consistently. Being away from the gym makes me feel sluggish and lazy. gah so hard to make it to the gym on my own
4.5) i worry and think too much
5) This should've been number 1 on the list, but i want to deepen in my walk with God. And this takes devoting time. This takes practicing spiritual disciplines in secret and in quiet places. I feel like i've lost that sense of just being with God. I need to stop occupying myself with other things.
6) I skipped class today again. i coulda made it on time, but i felt so tired, so i slept in. Yesterday i felt so behind in hebrew. I'm on chapter 8 and the teacher is discussing chapter 10. I pull out all the vocabulary flash cards i haven't looked at and it's a buttload. Studying hebrew is like placing yourself in an empty swimming pool, then filling it with mud, quicksand, barf, lava, monkey poop, a hebrew dictionary, and a black hole. but then later i felt better because everyone said after the last test, people stopped studying too. And the prof hasn't given any quizzes lately, so everyone else feels behind too. I also read through the book, and got some hw done.. it's not so bad once it clicks.
7) Oh this is a random thought. but i started watching this show called "Walking Dead." It's a zombie survival show.. u guys probably wouldn't like it, unless you like zombies. but the show is kinda creepy, that i keep thinking what if zombies really do exist and want to eat me. Shows on hulu are also distracting, tv, entertainment and video games sucks all my time. Control ur limits chris!
8) i've been having a bunch of dreams. A giant gorilla was chasing me. i wish i remembered more of my dreams. lol, i do remember i drove my car through a burgerking.
9) it's kinda sad i need to leave church soon. i'm gonna miss everyone. :( i wanted to do somethin fun for church this friday and also hallelujah night. but i really don't have any ideas. If you guys have any fun ideas please help me!!
10) i like chicken
11) i'm kinda excited to go watch a movie tonight. Probably End of Watch
12) im wasting my time blogging.. lol
12.5) i miss hawaii.. i should call my parents
13) i want to see a chiropractor, but it's so much $! but my back hurts! ahh
14) i'm addicted to minecraft and pokemon. it's becoming a problem
15) if u got this far, u minus well pray for me! thanks!

Living Faith

This last weeks sermon was really meant for me. i need to put my faith in Action. It's easy to talk about God and think about God, but do i really practice what i preach? Does God rule and reign in my decisions and actions? James argues that faith without works is dead. it's useless. What good is it if salt looses it's saltiness? What good is it to hide your light? A good tree must bear good fruit. This is the evidence of our faith.

James 1:22
Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.  We're not called to be hearers, but doers. 

 ¹⁶ This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. ¹⁷ If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? ¹⁸ Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. -1 john 3:16-19


There should be a day and night contrast between a spirit filled christian and a non-believer. It should be obvious. Christians have God within them!

However, good fruit isn't just doing good works. do we experience the fruit of the spirit? Is there a depth to our love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control?


We need to work from our overflow of rest. We need to focus on being before doing. In Acts the apostles/disciples waited to be filled with the Spirit before they were sent out. We too need to receive strength from our time with God, so we can share the love of Christ with others.

Sometimes we say we're too busy, i can't do things, i'll do it later, i don't have the time, i don't know how. We make excuses for why we're so distant and why we struggle. I know i make these excuses all the time. I think mary got it right when she simply sat before Jesus and listened to his words.

We're so consumed by trying to get everything done. Maybe we have too many responsibilities. What's hindering you from coming before God? Are we really too busy to make time for God? Or is it our hearts? Are we too worried about our future? Why must we hurry and rush everywhere? Is it really just about doing as much as we can as fast as we can? When we look at the life of Christ, he was super relaxed and chill. The spirit of God isn't anxious about anything. Sometimes we jus need to slow our roll and be with God. When we experience God, he brings us peace and stillness.

Instead of rushing around like nascars, we need to slow ourselves down. busyness is the enemy of peace. hurry is the enemy of depth. We need peace and depth in our lives. Taking care of our spiritual lives and embracing the gospel daily should be our top priority. Don't compromise by filling our schedule with activities. In the end what's truly important to you? Take care of yourself, by finding rest in God.

Find liberation in rest. It's like the first time you experienced snow. Remember how excited you were? We were simply amazed and in awe. We jus wanted to play in the snow and enjoy it. snow makes me really happy, lol. In the same way, our time with God should be like the first time we saw snow. Just sheer wonderment, joy and awe.







_______________________
Extra awesome bible verses..

Jer 32:36-41
this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: ³⁷ I will surely gather them from all the lands where I banish them in my furious anger and great wrath; I will bring them back to this place and let them live in safety. ³⁸ They will be my people, and I will be their God. ³⁹ I will give them singleness of heart and action, so that they will always fear me and that all will then go well for them and for their children after them. ⁴⁰ I will make an everlasting covenant with them: I will never stop doing good to them, and I will inspire them to fear me, so that they will never turn away from me. ⁴¹ I will rejoice in doing them good and will assuredly plant them in this land with all my heart and soul.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
   but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. -proverbs 13:12

 ⁸ Taste and see that the LORD is good;
   blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
⁹ Fear the LORD, you his holy people,
   for those who fear him lack nothing.  psalm 34:8-9

Ezekiel 36:24-28

 ²⁴ “‘For I will take you out of the nations; I will gather you from all the countries and bring you back into your own land. ²⁵ I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. ²⁶ I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. ²⁷ And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. ²⁸ Then you will live in the land I gave your ancestors; you will be my people, and I will be your God.

1 Corinthians 1:8-9
⁸ He will also keep you firm to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. ⁹ God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.

John 6:37-40
³⁷ All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. ³⁸ For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. ³⁹ And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all those he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. ⁴⁰ For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.”

John 6:44
⁴⁴ “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day.

John 6:64-65
For Jesus had known from the beginning which of them did not believe and who would betray him. ⁶⁵ He went on to say, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless the Father has enabled them.”

John 10:27-29

²⁷ My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. ²⁸ I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. ²⁹ My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand.

Ephesians 1:3-14
³ Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. ⁴ For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love ⁵ he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— ⁶ to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. ⁷ In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace ⁸ that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, ⁹ he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, ¹⁰ to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ.

 ¹¹ In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, ¹² in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. ¹³ And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, ¹⁴ who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory.

San Diego Weekend

I have about 1,000 thoughts just roaming in my tiny head. I guess it'd be good to blog some down so i don't have them floating around aimlessly. i sense this is gonna be a loong blog.. probably kinda boring too, if i were u i wouldnt read it 

okay.. so this weekend i hadta go to a National Youth Worker Convention (NYWC) hosted by Youth Specialties (YS). Talbot gives us 3 credits for going since it pretty much sums up what the prof would have taught in the semester. They basically had a bunch of guess speakers, leadership seminars, and everything regarding youth ministry. It was actually pretty cool to see a bunch of youth pastors, leaders, and volunteers all meeting in one place.

Lemme digress. lol i really don't like it when ppl say that phrase. idk why. Anywho.. so on Thursday i drove to my aunty's house. i also picked up crispy cream doughnuts on the way.. ohh so good yet so bad. Anyways, i say anyways a lot. so yah. i got to my aunties house and we played scrabble with friends for a good hour. i was surprised that she was better than me. anyyyways.. she later talked about how she found a doctor who uses natural remedies like with herbs and stuff. I don't really kno how he does it, but he supposedly cured people with different types of cancer too. my aunty said she found that her hypoglycemia is most likely from having a virus plus mercury insider her. Anyways, even though i was super tired and wanted to sleep, i got to bond a little with my aunty and pray for her. Sometimes we have so many things we want to tend to that we often neglect opportunities to be present with others.

Anyways..  i actually booked a flight to San Diego, because everyone including my dad thought that driving with my car would be kind of a risk. She makes a lot of noise, but she can still run fine on sheer willpower and soul. After the weekend i regretted taking a flight out.

From my aunty's house, i drove to the parking lot to drop my car, took a shuttle to LAX, took a 1 hour flight to San Diego, took a shuttle to the hotel.

Hotel room was pretty sweet, i had two queen size beds to jump from. Clean sheets, air condition, fresh towels and a warm shower was awesome... until i later got the bill.. the food there was super expensive, everything was like $5 more than what it should be.

Anyways.. the worship at the conference was pretty awesome. for a moment i got a little teary because it was incredible to be in a room full of 5,000+ Christians. There was some Christian rapper and these two skit guys that were pretty funny. hmm.. One of the speakers was really funny. He's an old lawyer guy that goes after international injustices. He talked about how he thought his friend was playing a joke pretending to be a Uganda president leader guy who wanted to recruit him.  But then when he got off the plane, he found out it wasn't his friend playing a prank. He was then made a diplomat counselor of Uganda. and then he said, "yeah they gave me some uganda flags to put on my car, they're so bitchin'!" lol the crowded laughed so hard that this old guy used that phrase at a Christian conference. i was surprised how many bad things some of the speakers said, but it was pretty funny. And then the old guy said, "so sue me. I could kill you! i have Uganda immunity." lol you probably woulda hadta been there.

Anyways..... i went to a Drawing Out the Secret Hurt in Teenagers seminar, Counseling 101 Seminar, Youth Group Fun and Games seminar, and Mentoring One on One seminar. There were group times when we met with the Talbot students to discuss stuff and main conference sermons too. They had a bunch of exhibit booths set up where i got free stuff. It's nice to get 3 credits outta the way, but i still hafta meet up with a cohort 3 times, and have tons of papers and projects for that class.

Doug Fields from Saddleback church is probably the most well known youth pastor out there. it was cool getting to hear him speak. He talked about the importance of not being overly busy. Sometimes pastors give, plan, and serve so much that they compromise their own walk and devotion to God.

oh i met this other youth pastor guy from hawaii, it was cool meeting him. i also got to know some other talbot guys too.

I guess the two main things i learned through this conference was that it's okay to not be so productive. It's good to make space to find rest in God. It's hard to find peace when we overload our schedules. but sometimes it cant be helped. Secondly, i learned how important it is to really invest in students and leaders. I regret not doing a better job and making more time for specific people. Make time for God, and make time for people. It's too easy to let other things get in our way of what's truly important.

Ok, so here's where it began to get frustrating. I took a shuttle back to San Diego Airport, then took a shuttle to the commuter gates, and began waiting for my flight. it's 7pm and my flight was supposed to leave at 9, and arrive at 10. Then they said, oh well the flight is delayed at won't come till 1040. So everyone continues to wait. Then later the lady says, "oh the pilot decided that he's not coming at all.." so everyone is pissed because it was the last flight before midnight, and ppl had connecting flights to get to. So there was one lady and like 40 angry ppl. i probably need to send american airlines an email for a refund.

She finally announced that a bunch of vans would drive us to lax, which is like 3 hours. And so i jumped in a little van with 6 other people. It was weird because no one talked to each other. People were tired and angry. It didn't bother me so much at first. There was this couple next to me, and they were like making out and being all gross. At least they weren't too upset. After sitting in the van so long with a bunch of angry people, it started to really affect me. i regret not driving 2-3hrs there and 2-3hrs back. Instead the entire wait, commute and travel was over 15+ hours. i was so tired. then i caught a shuttle to my car, and went to mcdonalds for ice cream. I miss working out, i ate super bad the whole week. i also spent so much money. In the end, conference was pretty good, but the traveling was miserable. Even tho all i did was sit around all weekend, it was exhausting.
right now im skipping class. i should do my hebrew hw and write a 6 pg  paper, but i dont want to. im hungry