Lover of My Soul: March 2010

Spiritual Formation
I. Sanctification Gap
II. Spiritual Depression
III. God's Discipline
IV. Camp Retreat
V. Sufficient Grace
Man there's so much that happened over this past week. Sorry but you might want get use to my long blogs. I just got back from a camp retreat and God revealed some pretty powerful stuff, so hopefully you can take something from it. During this past week I've felt like a David in many ways, so that's my reason for flooding this blog with choke passages from Psalms.

"I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart;
I will tell of all your wonders.
I will be glad and rejoice in you;
I will sing praise to your name, O Most High." -Psalm 9:1-2
I. Sanctification Gap
i guess ill start off by sharing what ive been learning in my spiritual formation class. Spiritual formation is jus another fancy way of saying Sanctification, and sanctification is jus another fancy way of saying growing closer into the likeness of Christ and deepening one's relationship with God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Spiritual formation also highlights the Christian mystic's practice of spiritual disciplines. It would be wrong to see these disciplines as a works-righteousness, but rather they are ways of cultivating the Holy Spirit and opening our hearts to just receive from Him.

As i described 3 or 4 blogs ago, the Christian often experiences what is called a Sanctification Gap. We have all our ideals of what a Christian should be and look like, but in reality most of us are far from our own ideal of our self. We want to strive to be that Christian who has it all together, who has an intimate relationship consistently; we wanna be that Christian who is disciplined in reading their bible daily, the Christian who is faithful in prayer, the Christian who has tremendous faith, and a Christian who unconditionally loves on others. We want to deny our sinful habits, meet all our own expectations, and do everything to worship the Lord. We could go on naming where, what or who we would like to be, but the matter of the fact is that we greatly struggle with our spiritual growth. We may obtain godly desires, and try with our right intentions, But God is the only one who can fill us with the power of His Spirit, and He is the only way of achieving any spiritual growth.

Many Christians pretend that everything is fine, and this mask can even fool themselves. A Christian can also find themselves burnt out from trying to meet the standard of righteousness and holiness. We want to be good trees who bear good fruit, but what happens when we don't produce anything but shrived up oranges? Hmm.. Maybe this has something to do with branches abiding in the Vine?? Btw, have u ever thought that good fruit, might mean fruit of the spirit? And why does God want us to produce good fruit for??

"Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit." - John 15:4-5

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." -Galatians 5:22

Lastly, when God prunes a branch, it might be a little hard for us to endure. When a branch that bares no fruit is cut off and thrown in the fire, it isn't talking about hell. It's saying that an idle or paralyzed branch needs to be refined through the fire, so that it can enrich the ground. God who is the gardener keeps a close watch on His vine garden and makes sure that it gets well nourished.

When a woman gives birth to a child, i'm guessing she goes through a lot of stress and pain. When one has to gulp down yucky medicine, it might taste really gross. When a sheep runs astray and continues to do so, the shepherd might break one of it's legs so that he can carry it back. When a child lies or steals, the good father might show him the consequences in order for the child to learn. Trials, correction, rebuke and disciple might be intense while your in the heat of it, but we must know that it is for our best interest and out of His perfect love for us.

William Lane Craig, was asked "If God is such a loving God, why is there so much evil and suffering in the world?" His response was that there are multitudes of reasons. One being that He gives us the choice to choose him or reject him. He also mentions that God doesn't see us as pets and that we should expect a easy, comfortable and luxurious life. Rather God's main intent is to draw us closer into a relationship with Him, in order that we might be redeemed and have eternal life in Him. Our best life is not now.

II. Spiritual DepressionI've been reading a great book by D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones called Spiritual Depression. Here's what i've learned thus far.

What happens when we go through months, seasons and years without much spiritual growth? What happens when the Christian becomes idle and paralyzed from their communication and obedience in God? What happens when we see tons of Christians who are depressed, miserable, unhappy, distressed, dejected, frustrated, discouraged, anxious, and have an absence of joy? Why is this phenomenon such a common trend? What are the causes and cures for this condition? Considering Christianity is the one and only true path of having God in your life, don't you think this picture of a Christian is a horrible witness to unbelievers? A depressed Christian is a contradiction.

There are many ways of diagnosing this common problem, but because everyone is unique, each situation is always different for how an individual should handle their specific condition. Some causes could regard a conflict with one's temperament, it could be from physical exhaustion, or from bombarding anxieties. Two of the main factors that contribute to spiritual depression are past regrets and future fears. But we must learn that we are exactly where we're supposed to be in life, and that God is always with us.

Another reason for spiritual depression is loneliness. I never really felt that lonely in Hawaii, but moving to Cali, i realized how much i am on my own. It sharpens one's maturity because you're forced to be independent. But at the same time, it's quite challenging to go through life without deep relational contact with others. I think i was meant to go through a season of loneliness, so I could really experience how many, if not most people feel. The good news is that we never really are alone. Although God is with us, the church should be a warm place for people to find fellowship. This is why i strongly believe the church needs a stronger bond of unity and doors that welcome others with grace. As His people, we are to love one another.

Sin can also greatly cause spiritual depression. The main reason we turn to idols, addictions and sin is because we aren't satisfied in Christ and we suffer from an unbelief at times. As John Piper says "God is most glorified, when we are most satisfied in Him." In order to be satisfied in Him, we must believe that His love and grace is more than sufficient. This relational transformation requires nothing but trust, and faith that He is more than enough to satisfy us. We need to rely on the Bread of Life to sustain us and abide in His love to grow in His likeness. We need to rely on God in the same way we rely on food to sustain us. God needs to be our nutrition. The desire above all other desires, needs to crave, thirst, and long for an intimate relationship with God. Turn from your sin, pray, seek His face and abide in Him. Take a walk and wait upon Him. Ponder how wide, how long, and how deep is God's love for us. Do whatever it takes to meet with Him.

"Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint;
O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony.
My soul is in anguish.
How long, O LORD, how long?
Turn, O LORD, and deliver me;
save me because of your unfailing love.
No one remembers you when he is dead.
Who praises you from the grave ?
I am worn out from groaning;
all night long I flood my bed with weeping
and drench my couch with tears." -Ps 6:2-6

"Why, O Lord, do you stand far off?
Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?" -Psalm 10:1

One book that has always caught my attention was the book of Psalms. In fact one of my favorite characters in the Bible is King David. He obviously had a great struggle to commune with God. Read Psalm 44:23-24, 77, perhaps u might be able to relate in feeling distant from God. Then read Psalm 40, 107 and see how God is a God of sovereign deliverance. He pours our his heart; crying sleepless nights for deliverance. He wrestles with his sin and calls out for God to rescue him from this pit of despair. He is overwhelmed with an unhealthy guilt. If you recall, he had Uriah sent to the front lines of war because he craved Uriah's wife, Bethsheba. He also had enemies constantly pursuing his life. There is evidence that he was even rejected from joining in worship with his people.

It seems David has a hard time accepting the forgiveness of God and of himself. He torments himself for the guilt of his sin. He obviously undergoes a sense of spiritual loneliness. However, he knew that his redemption and stronghold was in God. If there was any hope for peace and for healing, it would have to come through God alone. He pleads with God for comfort, protection, guidance and most of all deliverance.

Sometimes I think God purposely withdraws himself from our senses. His presence is always there, listening to our every need, but out of His perfect love He will often allow us to experience hardship, turmoil, and suffering. Why one might ask? Well i believe this sharpens one's faith. He purposely reveals and redeems us from the bondage and slavery of sin; but will then hide Himself from us so that we might chase and seek. Have u had countless prayers where you feel like it's leaving a phone message for God? Well perhaps this is so we might Wait upon Him and Listen for His Spirit. Perhaps it is to increase our longing, to humble ourselves, and to make us desperate for His comfort.

We are like babies crying, and God doesn't always immediately pick us up. Sometimes He allows us to meditate on what He is trying to teach us. Sometimes it is to test our faith. There are normally a kajillion of reasons why God allows or does anything. But one thing is for sure, is that it's according to his good purpose and for His highest glory, even if we are limited to understand why.

Where will we seek comfort and security? What or who will we run to? Who do we turn to in our time of need? Where will we place our trust in times of distress and loneliness? Behavior modification? Pop psychology? Self help books? Work? Business of ministry? Your own effort? Addictions? Will we seek the approval of others to fill this empty void? What is it that will satisfy you? Or rather who? Who is it that will truly Satisfy you?

"Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.

"Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."
Psalm 51:1-3, 10-12

"Yet for your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.
Awake, O Lord! Why do you sleep?
Rouse yourself! Do not reject us forever.
Why do you hide your face
and forget our misery and oppression?
We are brought down to the dust;
our bodies cling to the ground.
Rise up and help us;
redeem us because of your unfailing love." -Psalm 44:22-26

"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." -Psalm 43:5

When David says "Why are you downcast, O my soul?" He see's his unrighteousness, he wrestles with his sins, but he reflects on the Almighty One. He uses a self talk to counsel himself. We must talk to ourselves instead of allowing 'ourselves' to talk to us. Does that make sense? This actually does work. Remind yourself of your Identity in Christ, the freedom, love and grace of God. Stand up against your discouraged self and preach to yourself. Remind yourself who God is, what He has done in your life, and what God has pledged Himself to do. God is working in our lives, He promises to do so. He calls us His children, would a Father not do everything for our best interest?

III. God's Discipline
Sometimes growing in this process can be hard, but it is only because of His love that He allows us to encounter these circumstances. We may not see the reasoning for why things happen, or why we can often feel distant from God, but normally it's to teach us something that we need to learn. This will produce growth, perseverance, godliness, and a stronger faith in God.

The sanctification package will include suffering and many trials. This is required and necessary to grow us in spiritual maturity. But He will not give us more than we can handle. When someone pisses you off and has conflict with you, How will you respond? Maybe God is telling you to learn to love on those that are hard to love. When we are confronted and challenged will risk, fear, and failure, perhaps God is telling you to step outside your comfort zone and to trust Him.

There's something unique with being transparent with others. I think it allows us to be honest with ourselves. I think confessing our brokenness, struggles, and weaknesses allow us to be vulnerable before God. In our sin and failures, God walks in and says "You're mine. I want you" He purchases us with His precious blood and beautifies us, cleans us, and works us according to His good purpose. This is a great imagery of the doctrine of God's adoption.

For guys it can be hard to show weakness. But hey we got emotions and feelings too ya'know. We do need to talk and discuss what's going on in our troubled hearts. We are not meant to do it all alone. I think it's because our culture portrays the ideal man as tough, strong and independent. The Bible on the other hand, is full of humble men who saw their weakness as their strength. For when we are most weak in ourselves, that's when God becomes our entire strength.

"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Cor 12:8-10

IV. Camp Retreat
This past weekend I went to a spiritual formation camp retreat up in the snowy mountains. The hilltop resort was amazing, comfortable and peaceful. The whole place was designed for students to come and find solitude, rest and communion with God. The beds were super comfortable, oh and the food there was also super ono. It was also great to fellowship and bond with a group of believers. The foundation of Christ is really the one and only thing that unifies the body of the church.

I got to do an exercise called footprints. This is writing down all the events, experiences, people, books, places, transitions, and anchors of your faith. This exercise helped me to see how God has been working in my life, how He has been there every step of the way, and how everything has brought me to where i am now. The collection of experiences with God, helped me to see how God really did pursue a relationship with me, and how He intends to do so much more with my life. Pretty gnarly stuff.

We later had a looong group discussion of what people were dealing with lately. I didn't think i had any really hard struggles or problems, but when it came to my turn I basically ended up ballin my eyes out. As a psych major i thought i would normally know what's going on with me internally, so crying uncontrollably in front of everyone was definitely a huge surprise for myself and also kinda embarrassing at first. I think i did fall into pretending that my entire spirituality is alright and doing good. Everyone spoke words of encouragement, laid hands and prayed for me. That love really helped me release a lot that I was holding in. It also brought our group closer together somehow.

But in reality I have been really struggling to communicate with God in prayer. I can spend a lot of time reading about God, I could speak hours about Him, I could think about Him all day, and you guys know I can write hours about Him, but i realized that i struggle to communicate with Him directly. I've been having a really hard time with being intentional with prayer. I desire to talk, wait and listen to Him, but it's just been kinda challenging. So getting away to a place of solitude, simplicity and finding rest in Him was greatly needed for the restoration of my soul.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." -Matthew 11:28-30

I also think the new transition to California on my own has contributed to a lot of the hidden pain and toil i was experiencing. I guess I was home sick, but too prideful or shameful to admit my own inadequacy. I guess I wanted people to think that i had everything together and I was independent on my own. I guess you could say i was suffering from a sense of loneliness. Leaving my home church, friends I serve with in the high school ministry, my group of friends, and especially my parents was harder that i anticipated.

I figured everything would be alright as long as Christ is my home, and that all i really need is Him. This is true, but i believe God doesn't want us to go through our spiritual growth challenges alone. He purposely gave us the Holy Spirit so that we might have a fellowship with one another. Christians need to be supportive of one another, we need to confess to one another, we need to pray and worship together. I guess I felt alone and troubled, so by God's grace He did provide that community for me. I think there's also something with eating meals with a bunch of Christians. This greatly uplifted my spirit. Lately, great godly discussions over meals or hang out times have been super great. I got to room with a guy named mike, and might even become a roommate at his apartment next semester. We had some great talks stayin up pretty late over the nights. I love discussing the wonders and glory of our sovereign God. I also had a bunch of theological talks which got super deep into many doctrines. (Angels, Sheol, Problem of Sin and Evil, Christology, Origin, Time and Space, God's Wrath and Justice, Free Will and Predestination, Eschatology, Apologetics, the Human Soul, Religions, you name it) In our carpooling of 3 hours travel each way, a smaller group of us really got to bond. Me and mike are kinda younger guys, and Rena and Shaun were almost like another Mom and Dad to us. Going to seminary and meeting people tons of years older than me is really great, because I am really learning and soaking from what they've experienced in life, family and ministry. It's jus fantastic.

I also struggled with my calling for leadership. I often feel like an inadequate Moses. There is absolutely no leadership qualities in me, and I guess that's why God wants to use me also. When we decrease, He increases in us, becoming our strength. I often feel that my introvert skills prevent me or at least make me hesitate to act on what God calls me to do. Because i am so collective and reflective I tend to overly self examine and analyze all my words and actions. To an extent this is very powerful in synchronizing with God, hearing His voice, and constantly checking on the condition of my spirituality, but at the same time it can be my weakness because I have a difficulty taking that risk of speaking what God puts on my heart. Why doesn't a boy participate in a school's basketball try outs, why doesn't he ask a girl out, why doesn't he commit to a act of leadership, why is there such a fear of this failure? Why are we so concerned with impressing and pleasing others? Only God's approval and opinion really counts. It's better to try and fail, then to have never tried at all. It's our failures that are often the best life lessons.

"For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength. Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are" -1 Cor 1:25-28

Where God guides, He also provides. God never calls us to do something without empowering us with His strength. I foolishly ran away from under the hand of God. I figured, I know what I want to do to live for God, and apparently this didn't line up with God intended. For a few weeks if not months, I've been trying to do a lot of spiritual disciplines on my own effort. Perhaps that's why I've been so terrible at it, lol. I felt paralyzed, idle, unproductive, and just dry of the Holy Spirit at times. A relationship with God really does require a constant dependence, and trust in His grace. God who has infinite power, needs to be our source of living a life of worship. It's impossible to love, pray, desire, or even seek Him without His help. Kinda strange when you really think about it. We are responsible for all our sins and failures, but He is responsible for anything good in us.

V. Sufficient Grace
This leads me to the lesson of God's Grace. This is the biggest gift that mankind has rejected. We think our religious activities, self-efforts, own good merits and performances will somehow gain us favor with God. The thing is, God's grace is unmerited favor, it's a free gift of forgiveness. Grace is an imputation or great substitution of trading our sins and receiving Christ's perfect righteousness. One should stop and tremble when they come to receive this. It is not enough to acknowledge the grace of God, we must absorb, receive and accept this grace by faith.

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." -Romans 5:8

As born again Christians, we should no longer see ourselves as "sinners". We are not sinful by nature, because we have been redeemed and have a new nature in Christ by the Holy Spirit. "But hey Chris, don't Christians still sin?" Yes, we still break God's commands of not loving God with all our heart, mind and soul. Yes, we don't always love on others. Yes, we often disobey God and worship idols. It's clear that we still sin, but that doesn't mean God considers us sinners, because Christ already died for ALL our sins. We are therefore saints who still sin. Yes i know it's confusing, but those in Christ should see themselves as adopted children of God. We are no longer orphans, no longer lost sheep, no longer stuck in our sins. We have been redeemed, reborn, regenerated, saved, justified and forgiven.

But if you don't know Jesus, don't have a relationship with God, have zero faith in God, reject Christ as Lord and Savior, follow other man made religions, worship false gods, have no repentance or conviction of sins, then it would be right to consider oneself as still a sinner in rebellion to God. You can either accept or reject Him. To have no say, or no stance is still denying Him. Why not trust in His grace? What's holding you back? Taste and See that the Lord is good. Take refuge in Him. Pray, seek and cry out to Him.
We did a short study of some passages in Romans in my Hermeneutics (Biblical interpretation) class, particularly chapters 6-8. Understanding our identity in Christ is not only huge for our justification (salvation) but also necessary for our sanctification (spiritual growth). Romans ch 1-3 is mainly about Paul's argument of how we are all guilty of sin. 4-5 discusses the transformation and justification through Christ. Romans 6-8 talks about our new nature and sanctification in Christ. 9-11 is about God's sovereignty /supremacy and 12-16 about our service.

I would like to focus on Romans chapters 6-8 because our new nature in Christ is huge! Romans 6 discusses how we are dead to sin and alive in Christ. We are no longer held captive to our nature of sin, we are freed from this bondage of slavery and now made bond servants to righteousness. We are told to count ourselves dead to sin, being crucified with Christ, and now alive by the Holy Spirit. Chapter 7 is one of the most debated passages amount theologians and scholars because it is hard to see if Paul is speaking as an unbeliever or a believer. He talks about how sin reigns in him, how he is held captive to a sinful nature, and still under the law of sin. In Chapter 8 he discusses the law of Grace and how a new covenant of the Spirit has freed him to live a life by the Spirit!

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." -Romans 8:1

I have recently realized that I am way too critical on myself. When God forgives me of my sin, and I refuse to, I am really not trusting in God's grace. I analyze, self examine, and constantly check on my spiritual growth so often, that I can become morbid. I go crazy because I dont always hit my expectations and I dont always live a life of worship. I get angry at my laziness and gluttony. I begin to rely on my own willpower and unconsciously hide my guilt from God. I have learned that instead of always taking my spiritual temperature, I need to be simply going to God as a child and receiving His love with an open heart.

God loves us no more or no less based on our spirituality. He desires us to grow, but he has already forgiven us of our sins on the cross. We are no longer sinners! We by nature are Saints and children of God who do still sin. But now that we are in Christ, God no longer has any wrath or anger against us. We are a new creation in Christ, and it is He who lives within us.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." -2 Cor 5:17-21

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!"-Galatians 2:20

"For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."
-Colossians 1:9-14

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God" -Ephesians 2:8

"You open your hand
and satisfy the desires of every living thing.
The LORD is righteous in all his ways
and loving toward all he has made.
The LORD is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;
he hears their cry and saves them. "
-Ps 145:16-19

"I will sing of the LORD's great love forever;
with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations.
I will declare that your love stands firm forever,
that you established your faithfulness in heaven itself." Psalm 89:1-2
"I will extol the LORD at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.
My soul will boast in the LORD;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
Glorify the LORD with me;
let us exalt his name together.
I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears
Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.
This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.
Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
Fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him lack nothing."
-Psalm 34:1-9

Brennan Manning

Lover of My Soul

Monday, March 8, 2010

Spiritual Formation

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