thoughts

Hallelujah I finished my paper! I officially start summer break! Yay!! Taking classes during summer/winter breaks is exhausting. But in the long run, i'm glad i finished another course. I feel like i'm one step closer to graduating. I don't mind taking a bunch of counseling courses, but i'm not too fond of some of the counseling professors.. Talbot sure has a bunch of requirements for the M.Div. I'm so pooped out. I don't wanna think about how much i'm gonna stress out about learning Hebrew. It's also weird going from a very high level of stress to doing absolutely nothing. lol.. Not having anything hard or important to do beats being super busy any day. I wonder if i should take less credits to focus more on ministry.

I dislike how i freakout and prepare so last minute. I also wish i had more free time during the semesters to focus on my own relationship with God. I always say i don't make enough time for God because "i'm just too busy." Well in actuality we're really never too busy for God. Isn't it weird how we hafta "make" time for God, when he should be the main event of our day. We should have to "make" time for our other responsibilities and get so caught up with being with God. I wonder how strong my convictions are when i say, "oh i need to make more time for God." And then the very next day/week i don't do a single devotion time. Why am i struggling to slow down and meet with God? Why does it seem difficult to grow in my sanctification? Why do i continue to stumble over stupid sins? For the longest time, i believed that focusing on spiritual disciplines will help me draw closer to God. And i still believe that. The hard question now has become, "how do i effectively do spiritual disciplines consistently?"

I always get caught up in this philosophical circle of not knowing how to increase my walk with God. I say, i jus need to do more spiritual disciplines. But in order to do a spiritual discipline, i need the motivation and desire to make the intention. But in order to gain the desire i feel like i need to wait and receive from God, which is in itself a spiritual discipline. Perhaps it comes back to meditating on the gospel. Which again can be consider a spiritual discipline. But as i was reading some old works of Anselm, Augustine, and Athanasius, and i see how much reverence they had. They discussed and debated the nature of Christ, the doctrine of the Trinity and all these deep truths of scripture. It's kinda nice that in our modern day we have such a long history of the church to refer to. But it's kinda crazy how much intense study can go into knowing philosophy, theological doctrines and God's Word. There are so many people who had different beliefs and views of who Jesus was and how God works. It kinda makes me appreciate having good theologians and pastors today who can effectively preach the truth. Sometimes i kinda wish God's Word was a little more clear on certain areas. I find it interesting that God chose to speak through a historical context of other people and through different genres. I wonder if Paul knew his epistle letters would one day become canonized as God's inerrant and inspired Word.


Apologetic Arguments for the Existence of God

Cosmological Argument (everything that exists has a cause)
Teleological Argument (Intelligent Design, Order, Logic)
Anthropological/ Axiological Argument (Morals)
Historical Account of Jesus and Scripture (The empty Tomb, Archeology, Eye witnesses)
Personal Witness of the Holy Spirit (Inner sense of beauty/pleasure of the Divine)
Ontological Argument (There is something greater than we can perceive or imagine)
Family/Friends
Five Guys
Surf City Squeeze
Olive Garden
Ikea
Zippy's Chili
Boot's & Kimo's
Shave Ice
Chicken Katsu Curry
Mochi Ice Cream
Costco Ice Cream
Americone Dream Ice Cream
Lychee
Gogi
Hawaii

Ah how come my blogs always take a turn and become more theological? I guess i don't really like blogging too much about other things i do..

I miss hawaii!


I 'm excited to see my friend Ike
I wanna play basketball
I wanna go to the gym
I wanna go surfing
I wanna workout
I wanna sleep
I wanna go to san diego
I wanna read a comic book
I wanna read a good book cuz i want to and not cuz i hafta
I wanna watch kdramas and superhero shows
I wanna sleep
ahh doo-doo! i left my lychee in the car! its too dark and sketchy outside tho..
oh i forgot to blog about the retreat!

How come our students encounter God at a deeper level at retreats then at regular church services? More people seem impacted by worship, prayer seems more intense, and fellowship seems better. I think we all need a daily dosage and fresh revelation of God's explosive love, not just at retreats.

I was kinda thinkin of some questions, and i'm not completely sure how to really answer these..

If Christ didn't have to be crucified would he die a normal death as a human?
How exactly can Christ be fully man and fully God?
Can someone please explain the Trinity?
If God has divine foreknowledge and is sovereign over everything, how can we really have free will?
If God never changes, how could Christ become human, be forsaken by the Father and then be exalted, if he (God) stands outside of time?
How exactly did the Son maintain fellowship with the Father when He endured the wrath for our sins? Was there a severance in the fellowship?
What is the role of the Son, besides being interceding and being our atonement? Yes He's our King, but do we really experience the person of Jesus, or do we specifically encounter the works of the Father and Holy Spirit more than the Son?
How come we must endure such struggle in our sanctification when God can instantaneously make us like Christ when we are glorified in heaven?
What is heaven like?

Ahh im so tired! zzzz...

Moving

I officially moved out from my apartment at Fullerton. I'm gonna miss the Brea 24 gym. I'm gonna miss the Brea mall and Surf City Squeeze. I'm gonna miss the $2 do-it yourself car wash down the street. Oh and Olive Garden was so close too. More importantly, i'll probably miss my roommate Mike. Even till the last day, he went out of his way to help me find the right table at ikea. We spent like 1.5 hours in there. It kinda made me think about what it'd be like to have my own place one day. Everythin in ikea is so nice and comfortable! We sat on a sofa and talked for 15minutes while ppl walked by, lol. I seriously played and touched with everything like a child in a toy store. I'll miss having mike around cuz he's always spiritually aware of things, and we'd always get into deep conversations of philosophy, human behavior, relationships, theology. Sometimes it's not easy to talk about those things with other people. Not many people are as relational, personal, and a good conversationalist as mike. We all need people in our life who understand us, who we can relate to and connect with. I'm also gonna miss my cats. We'll they were technically never really mine. I wish i spent more time with them before I left. It was sad.

But on the flip side, I just moved everything in my new place in Bellflower, with my good buddy greg. He's out in hawaii with his whole fam bam, so im kinda stuck here alone for the last two days. I spent over 7 hours cleaning and organizing everything yesterday. I cleaned up the rooms, kitchen, the dirty floors, organized my closet (didn't realize how much clothes i have! 133 hangers of shirts!), organized my book shelf (way too many books! 113 on the shelf!), i set up a desk that took forever, i hooked up all the electronics, and also set up a cool fan. But it's difficult because there isn't much space for everything. It feels a little tight in my room with 2 single beds. I counted, and i have 9 pillows and 8 blankets! I think setting up the place, made me feel more comfortable. It kinda relaxed my mind to set up decorations, superhero stuff, glow in the dark stars on the wall, and just feeling the fresh start at a new place. One of the maintenance ladies, knocked on my door this morning, and i kept hearing, "hello!! hello?!!" And apparently she wanted me to move my car, before it got a ticket. So that was nice of her. I think it'll take some time to get used to living here.

Summer Patristic Theology class was brutal. 2 quizzes a day, papers, a final, long 4 hour lectures at 8 in the morning was super hard. But it's finally over. We'll i still hafta write up a paper by Tuesday. I think i did fairly well on the final, so i'm happy i passed the class, and maybe moved my C to a B. Running not stop is exhausting. Inter-term and summer classes really help one to move faster in the curriculum, but man, i jus need a break.

My x-men animated dvd came in the mail. I also have the animated ironman to watch. I already watched superman, and i still have ultimate avengers, young justice, naruto, and comic books to occupy myself. Oh and a kdrama called "Big!" Ah! Lee Min-Jung! lol.. kdramas are only successful because they always pick the most attractive actors/actresses. But it's very interesting to observe the Korean culture through some shows. It helps me get a better understanding of cultural differences and the language. I think the show is pretty funny. But a 30yr old teacher with a 18yr old boy is a little pyante.

I feel like a 5yr old trapped in a 23 yr old body. It's embarrassing to admit how childish i still am. I only wanna have fun, eat lots of food, wake up late, and have my mom take care of me. lol.. Yah, i'm probably a little spoiled. I guess just growing up in Hawaii for 21 years, and then only seeing your family/friends twice a year has been kinda hard. Greg called me and told me he jus finished eating zippy's chili, katsu and their chicken..  Oh i want that so bad! i'm basically living off Visalus. Frozen fruits in a shake taste so good in the morning! I've been so swamped with school, that i've forgotten how much fun it is to not stress out about life.

Our retreat is coming up, and i still don't feel very prepared. Sometimes i think, "Wow your the one teaching about spirituality and God?" "How have you been doing in your relationship with God?" I think i'm the one who needs a retreat. I feel like the physical business has somewhat prevented me from slowing down to seek God. Overly business lays a toll on one's inner peace and spiritual growth. I seriously need to make more time for God. And not so i have something to teach or talk about. But a place where i can jus meet with God, enjoy his love and worship him wholeheartedly.

I miss surfing. I miss a good game of basketball. I miss going to the gym consistently. I miss running and pumping the loud music. I miss swimming laps. I miss the jacuzzi.  I miss shaved ice. I miss long summers of jus hanging out and playin video games. Sometimes it's great waking up and having nothing on your agenda except doing what you wanna do. God help me to use my time wisely and to be satisfied in you.

ὑπομονή

ὑπομονή  (hupomonē)

1. steadfastness, constancy, endurance
   1. in the NT the characteristic of a man who is not swerved from his deliberate purpose and his loyalty to faith and piety by even the greatest trials and sufferings
   2. patiently, and steadfastly
2. a patient enduring, sustaining, perseverance

In our walk with God and throughout life in general, we need ὑπομονή, (hoop- o-mo-nay). We need the perseverance to endure trials. God given trials are for our strengthening. It interesting that the author James, tells us to "consider it pure joy.. whenever you face trials." I remember one time I asked God to give me a trial, so that I could trust Him through the midst of it. (In retrospect, that probably wasn't the best thing to pray for). Anywho, I ended up getting sick the day after and everything just became more difficult. The lesson is not to pray for trials, but to be prepared for when they do come, and to have joy that God is the one who will help you through it.

Lately, I've been incredibly exhausted. Yes, this is probably a sign to find rest in God. But it is also a sign to pray for perseverance. God grants us extraordinary strength to endure difficulties; whether it be school, work, goals, relationships, our sanctification, or other responsibilities. I find myself praying for hupomonē a lot. In fact, I believe it pleases God when we can come to Him, and admit that we are too weak on our own sheer efforts/willpower, and that we are in need of the power of His sustaining Spirit. God loves it when we ask for His help. He blesses us when we seek Him according to His sovereign will. God equips us with the means and the energy to accomplish the tasks He has prepared for us. 

We all need consistency in our spiritual life, and in our daily responsibilities. I'm more of a "sprinter" because I can go fast for a short time. I use all my energy and get burnt out. But school, work, ministry, relationships, and our faith in God, is more like a marathon. We need a steady pace to continue running and to be faithful to what God has called us to.

We need to run with purpose. We need to train ourselves to grow in self-discipline but with dependency on God. When God is our treasure and our prize we set our eyes on, He provides us with the fruit of the Spirit to keep going. Exhausted? Tired? Weary? Pooped out? Find rest in God and pray for perseverance.

I guess this is a long way of saying i need to go do my homework.. lol -_-"

___________
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. -James 1:2-4

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." -Hebrews 12:1-3

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." 1 Cor. 9:24-27

"But I will sing of your strength,
in the morning I will sing of your love;
for you are my fortress,
my refuge in times of trouble.
You are my strength, I sing praise to you;
you, God, are my fortress,
my God on whom I can rely." - Psalm 59:16-17

"He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:29-31