"But I have this against you, that you have left your first love.
Therefore remember from where you have fallen, and repent and do the deeds you did at first" -Rev. 2:4-5
I’m starting to see that I really do need God. “Uhm no duh chris..” I shouldn't rely on others or my own strength to find happiness. This is kinda tricky because when you think about it, our relationships and friendships really do mean everything to us. However, they should never replace our trust in God. I discovered that I intuitively ran to people to sustain me rather than God.
God is my
joy. God is my strength. God is my hope. God is my healer. God is my
comfort. God is my redeemer. God is my fortress, my shield and hiding
place. God forgives all my sins. God loves and accepts me regardless of all my mistakes and failures. God’s grace is free. These are truths i constantly need to remind myself.
But i haven’t been available to receive these things from Him. Passive apathy is basically being numb to receiving from God. I’ve
isolated and withdrawn myself, even from God. . I was probably a little frustrated at God for a while because He seems to like to play hide and seek and doesn't always show up in the way i expect Him to. And because I got tired of seeking, i sought after other things.. We turn to temporary things to distract or escape, but they don't ultimately satisfy. At the core of us, we deeply long for intimacy with God. Withdrawing from community also never helps.
