Hey God,
im burnt out. teaching is kinda fun and fulfilling, but it's also a little overwhelming. i dont get how ppl are supposed to work full time for life. i dont get why it's so expensive to survive. i have so much stuff to pay off and i hate being consumed thinking about money or the lack there of. I know u said first seek your kingdom and all these things will be added unto you. I mean.. i get.. im supposed to put u first and trust you. but honestly, im having a hard time with that. im not sure what im supposed to do anymore. I feel like you haven't given me much direction lately. Can u like send me an email please. i dont know which way to go. So im jus treading water trying to wait for some big epiphany. I don't think i can live very long by doing just any job that doesn't seem fulfilling, or is too stressful. it sucks the life out of me and makes me physically ill. anyways.. please help me find something i enjoy, honors you, helps others, pays the bills and wont kill me.
Father God,
Sometimes i still find myself searching for my identity. I thought i knew myself well before, and well lately i don't really like the person i am. I know ultimately my identity is in you. Sometimes i feel like i just lose conviction. Most days i forget to include you or don't really "live" for you. I pray for your will to be done, but i still need to grow more in faith i guess. i love when i get to spend quality time with you. Sometimes it doesnt seem easy with everything so distracting. i feel like my selfishness is my greatest idol. i want to love and obey you. i want to grow in my desire to minister and help others. help me to trust and abide in you daily.. you're my daily bread, and it's you that truly satisfies.
Thank you for reminding me that you are always sovereign and always in control. You work all things for the good of those who love you. So please refine and strengthen me. Use me for your will. Use me to minister to others and to share your love. Overflow me with your love that i cant contain it. sometimes i trip out when i think about how.. responsible and awesome you are. I mean.. u like never screw up, and do everything right.. sometimes u seem really mysterious and so metaphysical. and other times you feel so present and so alive and empowering. im glad ur always sovereign. i wish my faith was more consistent and not based on jus how i feel. help me to be more disciplined, like way more disciplined. uhh help me to be purposeful and not grow lukewarm. may u be the center of my life. synchronize my heart with yours so i can receive all that you give. oh and please heal me from any pain i still lug around. pls heal my mom cuz shes sick. help me to be a better son. help me to be more others minded.
God, I pray that this week i'd find all my delight in you. You're my treasure and my deepest joy, help me not to forget that. Teach me the things i think i already know. Remind me that you're my first love. Nothing can separate me from your love. How wide, how long, how high, how deep is your love? you never stop loving me, even in my sin Lord. Your grace is just mind blowing. i dont deserve it. there's nothing greater than just spending time with you, and yet i wonder why my heart is so prone to wander. Help me to remain in your love and to abide in you.
Remind me the power of your saving grace, amazing love, and the gospel of salvation. You are the Way, Truth and Life. You're my everything, my all in all. help me to love you, love others, and even myself rightly. Fill me with contentment, patience, and gratitude. You deserve all glory, honor and praise. thank you for your presence and your unending love.
