fire fall down!

Camp Mokule'ia
At first i honestly didnt think i would take anything from this experience. Even our pastor mentioned how he honestly wasnt that stoked for this camp. And during our camp fire the first night, we just ended up sharing what was on our minds. Everyone including myself had some sort of problem or concern. Something holding us back from completely surrendering. Our minds we're troubled, tired, and distracted. Our pastor threw out his entire message he prepared because he knew that everyone wasnt spiritually ready to receive God. People started to warm up, and we continued to worship. Our group was still disconnected. Some had a tough week, some had broken family relationships, some were sick, and spiritually tired. Justin went on to talk about how we need to work as a body. We need all our parts, or we'll be handicap. Becoming one body became our goal for the weekend. They wanted to keep it to a small size group, so we had about 35 people. We talked about how everyone was valuable, and how everyone was a part of the body. But how were we gonna work as a body? The key is that we need God to hold us all together. Then we got to stare at the night sky. I couldnt believe how beautiful all the stars were. Away from all the city lights n sounds, left us with the glittering stars and the sound of the ocean. Was nuts.

Saturday we had a guest speaker, who is a professor at pac-rim. He was a cool guy, but i didnt really take too much from what he talked about. He did teach me about how to do better devotions. How to take more out from what we read in the bible. He said to pray more than we read. Meditate on scripture, instead of trying to race through as much as possible. Each passage has one correct interpretation, but each passage has many applications. We need to constantly ask ourselves, how can i apply this to areas of my life? I also learned to meditate on bigger chunks of passages. We tend to focus on only one or two verses normally. He said to keep in mind what the author mentioned in stories before and after. After doing devotions on only Luke 10, I really saw what the speaker was saying. Take a smaller bite of scripture, but meditate on the huge context. Many stories connect to each other, and try to reapply the same message in different forms. When God wants to emphasize something, He repeats it over and over.

In Luke 10, all 3 stories had a common ground of being distracted. How workers of the harvest should travel light, not taking bags or sandals, or even greeting people on the road. Basically meaning, dont get caught up with other stuff, focus on the purpose. Missionaries need to stay focused on their mission. The next story was about the good samaritan. A priest and a levite were too busy with other things to help the man in need. The last story was about mary and martha, and how martha was too caught up in preparations, while mary sat and listened to Jesus. Often times, we get too caught up with stuff. Christ reminds us to always stay close to Him. He loves when we spend time with Him. We need to make it a point to constantly have God in our day, setting aside time for Him. We also cant forget to love on others. Caring for those who are hurt and need attention. We cant be swept by worldly distractions.

Everyone's highlight of camp was Saturday night's worship. We worshiped for 2+ hours. At first ppl got tired of worship, we were hoping that it would end soon, we were all super tired. But eventually everyone was able to surrender. We opened our protected hearts, we welcomed God, we let go of all the chains holding us back, we cried out for God to enter, we sought only Him. We craved and desired Him. People stood with their arms stretched high, others fell to the ground in tears. We had so much pain that we kept from God. God took complete control of our hearts and minds. We experienced God as one body. It was also really encouraging to see people pray for each other. We all sat down after, and began to share what God whispered to us. It seems God spoke to everyone's heart that night. We did a round of prayer, and then got to share what God was telling us. God's love jus shook the entire room. We were all in awe of Him. Then later we performed skits, n played games. And I stayed up super late playing card games, and jus talkin with ppl.

Sunday morning, 3ppl said they tried to wake me up for breakfast, but i dont remember that. I missed breakfast, and was the last to wake up. I was kinda bummed, cuz mokule'ia cooks super good food. And the beds were actually super comfortable too! They gave us clean sheets, blankets and everything. It was like living in a local kine hotel, with the beach right outside. Only bad thing was that a bug bit me on the leg, and it was kinda itchy, lol.. anyways the rest of the day we closed with worship, devos, prayer and sharing time. Later that night, God called me to go to pursuit. And it was super strengthening to jus see that i have a family there too. The speaker gave a message on excepting everyone to the body. Loving on them regardless.

One of my greatest highlights of camp was spending time with my friend's daughter. Her name is Angelic, shes 6 yrs old. Shes jus too precious, so adorable, so full laughter, and her smile would jus completely brightened up my day. She would cling to me, make me carry her around, we would play silly games, and we even got a cool handshake. lol, i saw her as the little sister i never had. She was jus a bundle of joy to be around.

Monday i bombed a test. had bible study that talked about gray areas. Then had leaders meeting, then took dean home. And he invited me in for chicken mcnuggets! He also gave me carrots n peanut butter, lol.. what an awesome dinner it was. We couldnt stop talking about God. I had all these questions, and we were looking up verses. Hes probably gonna be my accountability partner from now on. And we're gonna join our small bible studies to make a mega one.

Lately my mom has been facing some rough trials. She has a lot of emotional damage that really hit hard. She told me she was ready to go home, meaning back with God. Her arm was really causing her alot of pain, and she jus had so much attacking her. So i prayed for her, and we eventually calmed down. Realizing that God is all we need. Praying with confidence that God can heal anything. I really need to work on being a better son.

this entire week, my friend has been on my mind. I said something to her to try and build her up. I said something in the wrong way, and was supposed to be accountable for her. But i did a really bad job, and even ended up making her cry. I was so upset with myself. I didnt know what to do. I really need to be careful when being accountable for people. What i thought was leading her, was actually cutting her down. It really is hard sometimes. I know God has this situation covered, but its gonna take some time.

Even tho im growing so much closer to God, other areas of my life have been dwindling. I havnt been eating or sleeping right. I havnt been exercising, or spending enough time with friends. I havnt been there for my mom when she most needs me. Havnt been spending any time with my dad. Ive been slacking in school, and havnt been helping out at church. Im basically a mess right now. But i feel so strong, because i have God with me. I can tell God wants to build me up super strong. He keeps showing me how im supposed to lead one day. I need to find a way to focus completely on God, and yet improve on other areas of my life as well.

I really want to jus run off somewhere. Leaving with minimum supplies. And jus being away out from society. Being in nature. Relying solely on what God provides. Seeking God with everything, and away from life distractions. I want to be alone with God. I jus want to rest in God. And nothing else. Our God is perfect. He never makes a mistake. He is all that is good and holy. I never want to be separated from Him. I jus wanna spend a looong time where its jus me and God. Imagine how much we'd grow if all we breathed in was God. If all we ate was God. If all we slept on, was God. If all our hearts and minds were lead by God. If all we had was God.

I accidentally read some stuff on past revivals in the US. How much of an impact they had. How fast the word spread, How many people came to Christ, How the entire community changed. I want that same revival here in Hawaii. I want to see a change in our school. Im starting to get a better understanding of what that would look like. Im having more confidence, and more faith, that fire will fall down. I want to see an awakening in our state. That our islands would be the first state to start this movement. We Need God to come down and start that fire. We need, need, need Him. But we dont always want Him. People need to want this spirit. People need to want Jesus. We need forgiveness and healing over our land. We need our land to repent for running in the wrong direction, to come together as one body, to ask God to burn those chains holding us back. We need to fully surrender, giving up things of this world, and the sins we desire. We need a revival.

God you know our hearts. You know all our needs, all our desires, all our thoughts, all our fears, all our worries, and all our pains. Heal us Lord. Heal us. Never stop teaching us through your word. Bring new revelations and growth each day. Dont let us get caught up with other ppl and distractions. Keep our eyes fixed on you. God I want to see change in people's hearts. I want to see all praise go to you. Let us speak words of encouragement, and never speak curses. Keep our hearts pure, away from temptation. Help us to love you! We are too weak, we cant do it on our own. We need you God! Take my life, use it for your will. Do with me as you please. Guide me with each step i take. My mind is weak, my spirit is tired. Give me rest in you. Restore my spirit. Keep teaching me how to love others. Thank you for being with me God. I love u Lord, Amen

Build me up, God!

boy i dont even know where to start. there has been so much God this week! So much stuff ive been learning, in such a short time. it's craaaaaaaaazzzzzzy!!! this fire for Him jus keeps growing stronger and stronger! i love it! I love being filled with God. But He doesnt jus fill me up, He overflows out of me too! Jus to warn u guys before hand, this is gonna be one of those "looong entries". You might wanna grab a snack before u dive in.

Vision
I finally realize what all my dreams with water are trying to tell me. But first let me tell u an analogy that i got while i was floating in the pool the other day. We all start out like people underwater. We are consumed, engulfed, awashed, drowning, sinking deeper and deeper into the ocean. Theres nothing underwater but death n hungry sharks. We get attracted to pirate treasure chests, mermaids/mermans, and find caves to live in. This ocean darkness will jus keep drawing us in, until we hit the rock bottom. We go so far from the surface, we cant even see the light. We're completely surrounded by death and start to choke, realizing that theres no way we can get to the surface on our own. Then at that instant, Jesus the lifeguard comes diving to pull us out. He brings us to the surface, and gives us life. We're finally able to breathe in air, and see the light all around. So now we're floating in the water. Still surrounded by the ocean. So because we're still in this rough water, we panic. We swallow in some salt water, and get hit by ocean waves. We swim recklessly in search of land. Until we finally give up and realize we cant do it on our own. Then Jesus walks by, and says "Get up! Come! Follow me!" and once we start focusing on Jesus, we begin to walk on water!! But then as we look down into the ocean, people are still drowning, and now we need to go help save them. In my mind the ocean represents the world and death. dark rough seas can represent chaos. The lifeguard equals Jesus our Savior and the air representing God n His love. A lot of my dreams, include people drowning in water, and I need to jump in, or do something to save them. But the main point of all this, is that we need to rely on Jesus, because He is our lifeguard!

Intimacy
I kno i talked about this before, but its jus so BIG. That the God who spoke the earth into creation, wants to have a direct, personal, intimate, interactive and dynamic relationship with us! so gnarly..

Clouds
I always stare at the sky whenever i drive. It never ceases to amaze me. It must be nice to be a cloud. Drifting around all day, roaming the vast sky, saying hello to birds, greeting other clouds, pouring gentle rain on the land, lightly passing by the mountains, and getting lit up by the bright sun. I guess u could say i found a deeper appreciation for creation.

Listening
Ive learned to listen. Listening to people. Listening to leaders. Listening to silence. Listening to God. And actually being able to hear God's voice. I dont always hear His exact words, but i know exactly what He's saying to me.

Seeing
God has opened the eyes of my heart. I was blind, then my sight was blurry, but now i see clear. He constantly shows me His plan and vision for me. Through dreams, or short glimpses of His will. Sitting in the prayer room i like to think of His kingdom. Try to imagine what its like. Its so glorious. It's beautiful. It's pure white. Jesus is so bright, My eyes couldnt even handle it. God's throne is surrounded by people n angels worshiping Him. His love completely fills His kingdom. There's no pain, no sorrow, no sin, only God and His love.

Tasting
"Chris you can taste God?" Oh ya! God tastes sooo good! Once u have a small taste of Him, all you want is more! God tells us to eat from the bread of life, which is Jesus. He says, if anyone thirst, let them come to me and drink. He is the stream of living water. God also tells us to eat His word. Make His law dwell within our hearts. Jesus is our nutrition! And His love is delicious goodness! We need to be constantly hungry for Him. Craving for more of Him. Savoring His love. Not settling for anything, but the best on the menu. ok i think u get the idea

Touch
"Chris you can touch God?" Well i sure can feel Him. I can feel Him surround me. I can feel the trembling in my heart. You jus know when its God. He strengthens, teaches, guides, comforts and loves on us. Much of the time we dont notice it, but once in a while, you can really tell.

Smell
"Chris you can smell God?" well.. no.. not really. But if i could smell God, i bet He would smell really good! Better than any other food, flower, perfume, or scent. Now, im really starting to wonder what God smells like.. lol.. However, people should be able to smell the aroma of our relationship with Christ. It should be quite evident, that something smells ridiculously good in our life.

Faith
God has been emphasizing how important our faith in Him is. Stress, fear n worry take so much from our faith in Him. Its important that we completely trust on Him. Trusting that He knows whats best for us. Having the faith that God is gonna lead us, show us, and take all control in our lives. Relying on Him to provide for us.

Not Judging
One thing God has been telling me to work on, is to not judge people. He is the only judge. He is a just judge, and He knows everyones heart. We dont have the authority to judge people. We do however have the authority to correct and rebuke others gently. We need to be really careful in the way we try to correct or lead others. We cannot force people to know God. We need to react in love.

Growth
For the longest time, i felt like i wasnt doing enough for God. And even though im involved in ministry, God said "You still have so much more to do." I was like, "Shnikies! I have tons more to do!" Continue growing me God.

Children
Sara called me one night telling me about the sex trafficking goin on in the world. And i got so broken up over it. It pisses me off that im not doing more for them. We all know that theres children lost in the dark, crying out for food, shelter, and love. Crying out "Mommy! Daddy!" Crying out for someone to save them. And yet we all try to hide that in a box, pretending we dont see it. Children are DYING! because we're all too selfish to help them. We're filthy rich. we live off of so much wealth, so much luxury. Look at all the comfort, accessories, security, food, and money we have. Some kids dont have any shoes, any food for days, or anyone to care for them. I cry just thinking about these children. How much i would love to see them smile. How much i would love to give them a hug, a home, and a better quality of life. But whats even more important, is showing them that they can have Jesus. And yet im a complete hypocrite. Everyone knows the problem, and yet very few are willing to do something about it. It makes me sick to sleep in the comfort of my bed, knowing that millions of children are sleeping on the cold dirty streets. It makes me sick going out to buffet restaurants stuffing my mouth with food, when some kids only live off a few grains of rice. We need to do something! Something hasta change! We need to take action!

Strength and Humility
God has made it clear that i am to be strong in Him. That I am to lead people. Even though He is strengthening me, at the same time, He's teaching me complete humility. That its not me at all. It all about Him. I was talking to aunty betty? or some lady from BCM, during light up UH, and she said.. "Wow you really do sound like a pastor. You speak very well." And that really made me feel good. I was like "Alright Chris! ur doin a good job." but then quickly knew that my pride was attacking me. 2 of my friends from church said that they noticed something different about me. That during a meeting they could feel some sort of energy coming from me, before i even said a word. They said they could sense i was trying to hold in an overwhelming joy. And after we did all the boring meeting stuff, I shared how much God has been moving lately. I couldnt contain how much love God poured on me. How important our relationship with Christ is. That our high school ministry needs to be focused and centered on Him. Then during another bible study with 2 of my close friends, they both said they've seen a huge growth in me. They said "Chris you've grown so much in the last month." and "You speak with a lot more confidence and authority now" and at first i was like.. "ho yups, i did grow alot, i must be pretty darn awesome!" Then God came down from heaven and threw a lightning bolt in my face. Reminding me that its ALL HIM! He's building me up, its his power n strength. and that i need to constantly be cutting down my pride. humbling myself, giving all credit to Him. We need Him so badly. We are absolutely NOTHING, without Him. We need to practice brokenness, because as humans, we love hearing about "I, I, I, Me, Me, Me, Chris, Chris, Chris.." and we need to be very careful about that. It should be "Him! Him! Him! God, God, God! Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!" As much as God strengthens us, we need to learn humility.

Rich and Poor
God told me that im going to be poor in the world view. Not having many worldly things to rely on. But i know God will provide for all my needs. At first i struggled with the thought of not having a nice home, high paying job, success, and maybe not even having a family. The last one killed me the most. Ive always seen a loving wife, and adorable crazy kids in my future, but lately God has told me not to focus on that. To love Him more than even a family. So of course itd be super awesome to have a family later, but i wont be surprised if thats not what He has in store for me. Even though i will be poor in world standards, i will be beyond rich in spirit. That the blessings He has for me are amazing. That the things ill see, and get to experience will be far greater than anything money could buy. And in order for me to start receiving what He has planned, i need to first let go and surrender everything. So im gonna take God up on His word, and follow Him.

Rich and Poor 2
Its really easy for us to say, "yah id give up everything up for God" but when it actually comes down to doing it.. its actually quite hard. Listening to the radio i heard that its an advantage to be poor. Thats its actually mo betta to be poor. Most of us would be like "What!? no way!" Rich stuff really does take away from our relationship with Christ. Im sick of all this wealth. We're so consumed by clothes, ipods, cars, security, jobs, and all the things money can buy us. How much do we really give to others? I kno i can get really selfish n greedy when it comes to money. We need to use what we have for God and then follow Him. We need to give to those who are suffering in poverty! We need to teach the rich to become poor! To love God! not money! Dont invest in short term desires and comforts, invest in God. Give it all to God, and rely solely on Him! If we were asked "Would u rather live in wealth n riches, or be poor in poverty." Im sure all of us would choose riches. Some might say poverty, but really we would all like to live comfortably. It becomes so hard to enter the kingdom of heaven when we are rich. There is so much competition for God, so many distractions and things calling us to buy into. If we make ourselves poor, then all we have is God. Clothe, feed, shelter, visit, and care for those who are poor. Serving others, is serving Jesus. Loving others, is loving Jesus.

Relationships
I need to work on my relationships. I have so many friends that i need to start working on. Ive been slacking for the longest time. He calls me to start sparking and get them on fire for Him. I also need to connect with new people, and form new friendships in order to start sharing Christ with them. I need to be a better son to my mom, especially cuz her one arm stay all jam up. So i need to start helping her out more, and jus spend mo time with da parents. I also noticed that surrounding myself with good Christian friends has really helped a lot. When ppl get excited about Christ, i get all excited n jumpy too.

Responsibilities
Ive been slackin big time in school. School seems so meaningless to me now days. I still enjoy learning stuff, but it doesnt seem nearly as important as God. This week I bombed a test, didnt go see a play, skipped a bunch of classes, and missed 2 hw assignments. I havnt missed a hw assignment since high school freshmen yr. Well lets jus say its super very very rare that i miss turning in hw. So i got kinda bummed about that.. but not too much, cuz im not too up tight about grades, lol. But i noticed i havnt been eating very healthy either. Ive been eating a bunch of junk food, lost weight, and probably gained fat, cuz i havnt really exercised since the summer. My sleep pattern has been thrown off, and ive been feeling super tired throughout the day. I really need to start taking care of my body and earthly responsibilities.

Spending time with God
since my earth responsibilities went down, it gave me much more time to spend with God. Which is way more important to me. I jus find it crazy that we can have a interactive relationship with God. Spending time in the prayer room really gave me a boost in my "run" with God. I am so much more passionate about Him, so much more on hot fiiiirrre for Him, and so much more in love with God. I love learning, reading, talking, thinking, listening, and jus spending time with Him. It's never ending.

Sanctification
After we're justified, we need to work on clearing out all the little sins that try to pull us back from God. We always need to be renewing our minds. Matching up our lives with how the bible tells us to live. Cleaning out our lusts n desires, and replacing them with a heart for God.

Relationship over Religion
We cant earn salvation. Its a free gift from God. We cant get to God by anything we do. The only way is through a relationship with Jesus. Ppl will claim to know God on that day, and He will be like, I never knew you. We need, need, need, a relationship with God. All we need is Christ! Not this religion stuff.

Everything happens for a reason
God specifically placed us where we're supposed to be. I always think, "God shouldnt i be somewhere else?" And He responds "You're right where I want you. I'll tell you when you are to go."

Lukewarm
I watched a video by francis chan, and it talked about being lukewarm. How people are neither hot nor cold, and that God will spit them out. God doesnt want people who hafta contemplate between Him and the world. The kingdom of heaven is like a man finding a treasure in a field, burying it, running to sell all his stuff, and buy this field. Thats how great God is, when we truly find Him. We need to be on FIRE for Him! Not tryin to keep God as a part of our lives, or someone we turn to only in need. People want to keep all their wealth and world desires, and have a pinch of God for salvation. It doesnt work like that. God wants our entire heart, calling us to give up everything, because He is worthy of it all. So take up ur cross and run after Him! For whoever loses his life, will save it!

Obedience
Reflecting on everything this week, Obedience really sticks out. We need to answer His call. We need to step up, and take action. We need to seek His voice, seek His will, and follow His plan. We cant tell God, "Hold on, ill do it later when i want to." like how we talk back to our parents. We need to instantly follow God's lead. Following Him exactly, and passionately. We can't ignore when God calls us. We cannot choose our own will over His. Being prideful and selfish is putting ourselves before God. We need to be guided by our Father, because if we follow our own ways, it only leads to destruction and death. When God says to do something, DO IT!

Love and Prayer
The chief end of man is to glorify God. The chief end of God, is to glorify God. He calls us to Love Him with all our heart, with all our soul, and with all our minds. To Love n worship Him before everything else. He comes first in our life. Praying to Him, brings so much peace at times. Its so comforting to know that we can talk to Him 24/7! He never says "i dont wanna talk, im too busy, i dont care, im closed for today, i went out to lunch, call back later, or wrong numba." God actually wants to spend time with us. He loves when we come to Him.

Jesus, I need to give myself up. I am not strong enough to love You and walk with You on my own. I can't do it, and I need you. I need You deeply and desperately. I believe You are worth it, that You are better than anything else I could have in this life or the next. I want You. and when I don't, I want to want You. Be all in me. Take all of me. Have Your way with me. Amen!

God is always faithful

What have i been learning this week? Or should i say, What has God been teaching me this week? God has been moving in my life like choke kine. I'm at a lost for words when it comes to describing Him. And i wish i didnt always hafta wonder why God does things, or how God does things. I wanna get to a point, where i just jump up and do whatever God wants instantly, instead of always having to stop and ponder why or how. God has seriously been revealing His power to me. Showing me that He really is above all else. That through Him we have incredible strength. Not of our own strength, but the strength of the Lord. He also pours his purpose on us. Directing us where to go, who to meet, what to say, and what to do. We need to answer quickly when God calls us. Being ready to take action at the sound of His voice. Because we seriously miss out on God's blessings when we dont answer His call. Also, lately God has been dramatically increasing my faith. Faith is trusting on the Lord. Knowing that He will follow through with what He desires, even when we cant always see His entire plan.


"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.
"As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9)

We need to stop putting God in man's standards. We conceptualize Him in our human understanding. I cant help, but constantly ask God why or how He works. And then God responds back "Have faith my child, for I am with you." Basically He’s telling us to just trust Him. Worrying about our little problems takes away from our faith in Him. I always like to have things laid out on the table for me to see. But God's voice leads us step by step. He seriously has so much planned. How great is our God, that He would design the entire universe, design us in His own image, and plan out everything according to His will. His will, will be done on earth just as it is in heaven. Know why? Because He's in charge of everything. Nothing can stop His will. When God wants His will to be done on earth, He will definitely make it happen. Ok God, so now what do you want me to do!? "Lead my people." Lead your peoples?! Ru serious!? but how God?? "I will make myself known to them. I will do it. I will lead you. I will use you." God but there's so many people out there that don't know you. How can i show them you!? "Show them my love." God but how can i show them ur love? "I will work through you." Shnap! ok shoots God, take over! But you see, i wish i didnt hafta keep asking "But how God???" Why do i hesitate for so long? When God says go pick up that litter, why do i jus look at it, think and think about it for a minute, and then finally pick it up? When God says "Go talk to that person. Show them my love." Why do i sit there afraid, and jus think about it? When God says do something.. we need to do it instantly, and not hafta run it through our human minds. We let so many opportunities pass us by because we're too busy worrying about what might happen. God doesn't say "Well Chris, think about it first, and if u feel like it, then u should do it." God commands "GO!" Dont think about it, Dont worry about it, jus Go and do it. I'm learning to just have faith in Him. Stop questioning Him how He works, Just trust that He will take care of it. I want God to develop a faith in me so strong, so that when He tells me "Go!" or "Chris, Lead my people." I immediately and willingly jump out into action. Often God gives commands, and i stand on the sideline asking God a bunch of questions of how. I need to jus completely summit to Him, not worry, and follow His plan even tho I dont see the entire blue prints. We need to face that we can never ever fully grasp how He works. We just need to have faith. I think of how Peter walked on water to Jesus. Jesus called Peter to come to Him, and Peter did well, until He looked down and saw that he was actually walking on water. Peter focused on what he thought was impossible. He grew scared because in our human world view, walking on water is impossible (and yes Chris Angel is a fake). But you see, in the same way, we need to focus on Christ and not what we think is difficult. When we put our faith in Jesus, the impossible becomes very possible.

I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. (Phil 4:12-13)

God strengthens us. God has been continually building me up for His glory. God has seriously turned me away from sinful desires, and gave me a new heart. Of coarse we still sin, but it is no longer our core desire. All i want is Him. He's all we need. God has been disciplining, training, molding, and throwing all sorts of exciting things in my life. When God first called me to be a leader to His people, I was super hesitant. God why me? God ru sure this is what you want me to do?! God I dont think ill be strong enough. God this path looks too hard for me. God im scared. After crying out to Him, "Lord what do you want me to do! Show me!" and God clearly says to me "Have faith my child, for I am with you. You will lead my people. You will show them my Son, Jesus." ok God. If this is ur plan for me, then make it happen. If you want me to lead hundreds of people in a church, preaching your grace and forgiveness, then build me up and make it happen. If you want me to tend to people of Africa, singing about your deep love, then build me up and make it happen. If your plan for me is to be single, so that im completely focused on you, then let that happen. I only want you Lord. Whatever your plan may be, make me obedient to it. For I only find true joy in you Lord. Continue planting me where im supposed to be, my life is completely in your hands Lord.

I am the LORD, and there is no other;
apart from me there is no God.
I will strengthen you,
though you have not acknowledged me,

so that from the rising of the sun
to the place of its setting
men may know there is none besides me.
I am the LORD, and there is no other.

I form the light and create darkness,
I bring prosperity and create disaster;
I, the LORD, do all these things.

"You heavens above, rain down righteousness;
let the clouds shower it down.
Let the earth open wide,
let salvation spring up,
let righteousness grow with it;
I, the LORD, have created it. (Isaiah 45:5-8)

Tonight Sara talked at Moanalua Gardens Church. But it wasnt Sara that we heard. It was God that we were listening to. God seriously spoke through her. Wish i recorded it, cuz it woulda made a gnarly pod cast! I always hear God speaking through her, and at times it really does shake my heart. its like "Shnikies!! God you really do work through people! I can see it right there!" When she talked about how we need to be broken for others, it really hit me. I need to learn that love for others. Hearing Sara's testimony again, really showed me that God really does do everything for a purpose. He guided her towards being in different states, meeting certain people, and kept showing her the vision of His plan. God really spoke to my heart tonight. He clearly told me tonight as i was surrounded by fellow brothers and sisters.."I am building you up. I am preparing you for what I have planned. I will make you strong in me." You will make me strong Lord? whaaat? And later in the car drive home.. "I will make you strong in faith, and you will lead my people." Wow God. Wow. Ok God, Strengthen me. Prepare me God, im ready to go. Lift me up on wings of eagles. Glue me down to Christ as my rock and as my foundation. Always humble me Lord. I would be lost in darkness without you. I need you. Equip me with your holy armor. Fill me up with your Spirit. Lead me, guide me, and use me for your purpose.

Everyone hits a high in their relationship with God. We are fueled by our relationship with God. But in the same way, we often slowly drift away from Him at times. We stumble, we fall short, we all wander away. We run out of fuel, and lose passion for Him at times. But the amazing thing is that He is always faithful. He never stops loving us. He draws us back to Him. He is always welcoming us with open arms, no matter how far astray we go. God is always there, even when we don't see or sense Him. He's right there waiting for us to come back home. We can never hide from Him, even if we ran to the farthest ends of the earth, He would be right there waiting for us. In Psalms 107 you mention how your love is unfailing, and forever enduring. When i thirst for you, my cup overflows. When i hunger for you, you feed me the bread of life. When i need you, you are right there beside me. When a sheep of the flock goes astray, u go and bring them back. You can not lose one that you've chosen. You see it from start to finish.

Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
and calls them each by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing. (Isaiah 40:26)

Lord, You are above all things. You are ruler of heaven and earth. You pour your undeserving love on us, and call us each by name. You are so good God. You love when we respond to you in awe. You hate when we turn away to false idols. You mourn when the lost dont turn from their ways, you hate it when people love the world more than you. Forgive us Lord. Renew our minds. Grow our faith and love abundantly. Show us your good, pleasing and perfect will and then conform us to it. Teach us how to truly love others. Let us outwardly express your love, and inwardly pray for those who need you. Bring people to fall in more love with you Lord. That they would leave their old lives behind, and start living a life for you. That men would have nothing but a burning passion for you. A desire so great, that all we would want is you Lord. Instill in us a fiery zeal and craving for you. Charge us up with a glowing light, that would shine before all men. Fill us up with ardent love for another and a hot torrid love for you. Reveal yourself to those who are blind, fill them with overwhelming joy. Use us Lord. Please use us. God do everything, let us only be ur vessels and not take any credit. Strengthen and build us up to disciple others. Teach me how to be broken over people who dont know you. That you would teach me how to love them and pray for them. Guide our generation into intense prayer and intimacy for you. That we would all come together to worship you. That it would bring people to know you. That this movement would travel across all lands and seas, proclaiming the name of Jesus to all nations. Everything is possible with you. We thank you for your grace.

Everyday you give us air to breathe, nature, food, music n art to enjoy, different cultures, opening opportunities, fun hobbies, beautiful relationships, close friendships, laughter, sight, sound, smell, taste, touch, feelings, emotions, and the ability to love.. Everyday you give us Life. It's all about you. Not about us, but about how wonderful you are Lord. Throw away my own desires, and give me ur desires. God I love ur simplicity, ur complexity, ur intensity, ur gentleness, ur meekness, ur tenderness, ur holiness, ur faithfulness, ur patience, ur compassion, ur creativity, ur authority, ur passion, ur strength, ur unconditional love and sheer awesomeness!! But with all this delicious goodness you gave us, we became blind prideful. Sin corrupted our hearts and minds. We loved sin, worldly pleasures, and were completely oblivious to you. All chose death. We looked to the world to fill our desires. We all turned away from you. And as a loving Father, you cried out to us, "Repent! Come back to me!" And still we chased after sin, because there is no good in our hearts. Sin completely brain washed us. So what did you do? You gave us a way back to you. You sent your only Son Jesus, to take the place of OUR sins. You died for us. You DIED for US!!? For MY sins!?! You are infinitely admirable. You loved us so much that you basically grabbed us out of sin, yanked me out of death, forgave us for all our sins, and then gave me new life! So i pray that with these new lives, we would no longer live for ourselves, but live entirely for you. I love you Lord, For you are good and ur love endures forever. Amen!