Build me up, God!

boy i dont even know where to start. there has been so much God this week! So much stuff ive been learning, in such a short time. it's craaaaaaaaazzzzzzy!!! this fire for Him jus keeps growing stronger and stronger! i love it! I love being filled with God. But He doesnt jus fill me up, He overflows out of me too! Jus to warn u guys before hand, this is gonna be one of those "looong entries". You might wanna grab a snack before u dive in.

Vision
I finally realize what all my dreams with water are trying to tell me. But first let me tell u an analogy that i got while i was floating in the pool the other day. We all start out like people underwater. We are consumed, engulfed, awashed, drowning, sinking deeper and deeper into the ocean. Theres nothing underwater but death n hungry sharks. We get attracted to pirate treasure chests, mermaids/mermans, and find caves to live in. This ocean darkness will jus keep drawing us in, until we hit the rock bottom. We go so far from the surface, we cant even see the light. We're completely surrounded by death and start to choke, realizing that theres no way we can get to the surface on our own. Then at that instant, Jesus the lifeguard comes diving to pull us out. He brings us to the surface, and gives us life. We're finally able to breathe in air, and see the light all around. So now we're floating in the water. Still surrounded by the ocean. So because we're still in this rough water, we panic. We swallow in some salt water, and get hit by ocean waves. We swim recklessly in search of land. Until we finally give up and realize we cant do it on our own. Then Jesus walks by, and says "Get up! Come! Follow me!" and once we start focusing on Jesus, we begin to walk on water!! But then as we look down into the ocean, people are still drowning, and now we need to go help save them. In my mind the ocean represents the world and death. dark rough seas can represent chaos. The lifeguard equals Jesus our Savior and the air representing God n His love. A lot of my dreams, include people drowning in water, and I need to jump in, or do something to save them. But the main point of all this, is that we need to rely on Jesus, because He is our lifeguard!

Intimacy
I kno i talked about this before, but its jus so BIG. That the God who spoke the earth into creation, wants to have a direct, personal, intimate, interactive and dynamic relationship with us! so gnarly..

Clouds
I always stare at the sky whenever i drive. It never ceases to amaze me. It must be nice to be a cloud. Drifting around all day, roaming the vast sky, saying hello to birds, greeting other clouds, pouring gentle rain on the land, lightly passing by the mountains, and getting lit up by the bright sun. I guess u could say i found a deeper appreciation for creation.

Listening
Ive learned to listen. Listening to people. Listening to leaders. Listening to silence. Listening to God. And actually being able to hear God's voice. I dont always hear His exact words, but i know exactly what He's saying to me.

Seeing
God has opened the eyes of my heart. I was blind, then my sight was blurry, but now i see clear. He constantly shows me His plan and vision for me. Through dreams, or short glimpses of His will. Sitting in the prayer room i like to think of His kingdom. Try to imagine what its like. Its so glorious. It's beautiful. It's pure white. Jesus is so bright, My eyes couldnt even handle it. God's throne is surrounded by people n angels worshiping Him. His love completely fills His kingdom. There's no pain, no sorrow, no sin, only God and His love.

Tasting
"Chris you can taste God?" Oh ya! God tastes sooo good! Once u have a small taste of Him, all you want is more! God tells us to eat from the bread of life, which is Jesus. He says, if anyone thirst, let them come to me and drink. He is the stream of living water. God also tells us to eat His word. Make His law dwell within our hearts. Jesus is our nutrition! And His love is delicious goodness! We need to be constantly hungry for Him. Craving for more of Him. Savoring His love. Not settling for anything, but the best on the menu. ok i think u get the idea

Touch
"Chris you can touch God?" Well i sure can feel Him. I can feel Him surround me. I can feel the trembling in my heart. You jus know when its God. He strengthens, teaches, guides, comforts and loves on us. Much of the time we dont notice it, but once in a while, you can really tell.

Smell
"Chris you can smell God?" well.. no.. not really. But if i could smell God, i bet He would smell really good! Better than any other food, flower, perfume, or scent. Now, im really starting to wonder what God smells like.. lol.. However, people should be able to smell the aroma of our relationship with Christ. It should be quite evident, that something smells ridiculously good in our life.

Faith
God has been emphasizing how important our faith in Him is. Stress, fear n worry take so much from our faith in Him. Its important that we completely trust on Him. Trusting that He knows whats best for us. Having the faith that God is gonna lead us, show us, and take all control in our lives. Relying on Him to provide for us.

Not Judging
One thing God has been telling me to work on, is to not judge people. He is the only judge. He is a just judge, and He knows everyones heart. We dont have the authority to judge people. We do however have the authority to correct and rebuke others gently. We need to be really careful in the way we try to correct or lead others. We cannot force people to know God. We need to react in love.

Growth
For the longest time, i felt like i wasnt doing enough for God. And even though im involved in ministry, God said "You still have so much more to do." I was like, "Shnikies! I have tons more to do!" Continue growing me God.

Children
Sara called me one night telling me about the sex trafficking goin on in the world. And i got so broken up over it. It pisses me off that im not doing more for them. We all know that theres children lost in the dark, crying out for food, shelter, and love. Crying out "Mommy! Daddy!" Crying out for someone to save them. And yet we all try to hide that in a box, pretending we dont see it. Children are DYING! because we're all too selfish to help them. We're filthy rich. we live off of so much wealth, so much luxury. Look at all the comfort, accessories, security, food, and money we have. Some kids dont have any shoes, any food for days, or anyone to care for them. I cry just thinking about these children. How much i would love to see them smile. How much i would love to give them a hug, a home, and a better quality of life. But whats even more important, is showing them that they can have Jesus. And yet im a complete hypocrite. Everyone knows the problem, and yet very few are willing to do something about it. It makes me sick to sleep in the comfort of my bed, knowing that millions of children are sleeping on the cold dirty streets. It makes me sick going out to buffet restaurants stuffing my mouth with food, when some kids only live off a few grains of rice. We need to do something! Something hasta change! We need to take action!

Strength and Humility
God has made it clear that i am to be strong in Him. That I am to lead people. Even though He is strengthening me, at the same time, He's teaching me complete humility. That its not me at all. It all about Him. I was talking to aunty betty? or some lady from BCM, during light up UH, and she said.. "Wow you really do sound like a pastor. You speak very well." And that really made me feel good. I was like "Alright Chris! ur doin a good job." but then quickly knew that my pride was attacking me. 2 of my friends from church said that they noticed something different about me. That during a meeting they could feel some sort of energy coming from me, before i even said a word. They said they could sense i was trying to hold in an overwhelming joy. And after we did all the boring meeting stuff, I shared how much God has been moving lately. I couldnt contain how much love God poured on me. How important our relationship with Christ is. That our high school ministry needs to be focused and centered on Him. Then during another bible study with 2 of my close friends, they both said they've seen a huge growth in me. They said "Chris you've grown so much in the last month." and "You speak with a lot more confidence and authority now" and at first i was like.. "ho yups, i did grow alot, i must be pretty darn awesome!" Then God came down from heaven and threw a lightning bolt in my face. Reminding me that its ALL HIM! He's building me up, its his power n strength. and that i need to constantly be cutting down my pride. humbling myself, giving all credit to Him. We need Him so badly. We are absolutely NOTHING, without Him. We need to practice brokenness, because as humans, we love hearing about "I, I, I, Me, Me, Me, Chris, Chris, Chris.." and we need to be very careful about that. It should be "Him! Him! Him! God, God, God! Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!" As much as God strengthens us, we need to learn humility.

Rich and Poor
God told me that im going to be poor in the world view. Not having many worldly things to rely on. But i know God will provide for all my needs. At first i struggled with the thought of not having a nice home, high paying job, success, and maybe not even having a family. The last one killed me the most. Ive always seen a loving wife, and adorable crazy kids in my future, but lately God has told me not to focus on that. To love Him more than even a family. So of course itd be super awesome to have a family later, but i wont be surprised if thats not what He has in store for me. Even though i will be poor in world standards, i will be beyond rich in spirit. That the blessings He has for me are amazing. That the things ill see, and get to experience will be far greater than anything money could buy. And in order for me to start receiving what He has planned, i need to first let go and surrender everything. So im gonna take God up on His word, and follow Him.

Rich and Poor 2
Its really easy for us to say, "yah id give up everything up for God" but when it actually comes down to doing it.. its actually quite hard. Listening to the radio i heard that its an advantage to be poor. Thats its actually mo betta to be poor. Most of us would be like "What!? no way!" Rich stuff really does take away from our relationship with Christ. Im sick of all this wealth. We're so consumed by clothes, ipods, cars, security, jobs, and all the things money can buy us. How much do we really give to others? I kno i can get really selfish n greedy when it comes to money. We need to use what we have for God and then follow Him. We need to give to those who are suffering in poverty! We need to teach the rich to become poor! To love God! not money! Dont invest in short term desires and comforts, invest in God. Give it all to God, and rely solely on Him! If we were asked "Would u rather live in wealth n riches, or be poor in poverty." Im sure all of us would choose riches. Some might say poverty, but really we would all like to live comfortably. It becomes so hard to enter the kingdom of heaven when we are rich. There is so much competition for God, so many distractions and things calling us to buy into. If we make ourselves poor, then all we have is God. Clothe, feed, shelter, visit, and care for those who are poor. Serving others, is serving Jesus. Loving others, is loving Jesus.

Relationships
I need to work on my relationships. I have so many friends that i need to start working on. Ive been slacking for the longest time. He calls me to start sparking and get them on fire for Him. I also need to connect with new people, and form new friendships in order to start sharing Christ with them. I need to be a better son to my mom, especially cuz her one arm stay all jam up. So i need to start helping her out more, and jus spend mo time with da parents. I also noticed that surrounding myself with good Christian friends has really helped a lot. When ppl get excited about Christ, i get all excited n jumpy too.

Responsibilities
Ive been slackin big time in school. School seems so meaningless to me now days. I still enjoy learning stuff, but it doesnt seem nearly as important as God. This week I bombed a test, didnt go see a play, skipped a bunch of classes, and missed 2 hw assignments. I havnt missed a hw assignment since high school freshmen yr. Well lets jus say its super very very rare that i miss turning in hw. So i got kinda bummed about that.. but not too much, cuz im not too up tight about grades, lol. But i noticed i havnt been eating very healthy either. Ive been eating a bunch of junk food, lost weight, and probably gained fat, cuz i havnt really exercised since the summer. My sleep pattern has been thrown off, and ive been feeling super tired throughout the day. I really need to start taking care of my body and earthly responsibilities.

Spending time with God
since my earth responsibilities went down, it gave me much more time to spend with God. Which is way more important to me. I jus find it crazy that we can have a interactive relationship with God. Spending time in the prayer room really gave me a boost in my "run" with God. I am so much more passionate about Him, so much more on hot fiiiirrre for Him, and so much more in love with God. I love learning, reading, talking, thinking, listening, and jus spending time with Him. It's never ending.

Sanctification
After we're justified, we need to work on clearing out all the little sins that try to pull us back from God. We always need to be renewing our minds. Matching up our lives with how the bible tells us to live. Cleaning out our lusts n desires, and replacing them with a heart for God.

Relationship over Religion
We cant earn salvation. Its a free gift from God. We cant get to God by anything we do. The only way is through a relationship with Jesus. Ppl will claim to know God on that day, and He will be like, I never knew you. We need, need, need, a relationship with God. All we need is Christ! Not this religion stuff.

Everything happens for a reason
God specifically placed us where we're supposed to be. I always think, "God shouldnt i be somewhere else?" And He responds "You're right where I want you. I'll tell you when you are to go."

Lukewarm
I watched a video by francis chan, and it talked about being lukewarm. How people are neither hot nor cold, and that God will spit them out. God doesnt want people who hafta contemplate between Him and the world. The kingdom of heaven is like a man finding a treasure in a field, burying it, running to sell all his stuff, and buy this field. Thats how great God is, when we truly find Him. We need to be on FIRE for Him! Not tryin to keep God as a part of our lives, or someone we turn to only in need. People want to keep all their wealth and world desires, and have a pinch of God for salvation. It doesnt work like that. God wants our entire heart, calling us to give up everything, because He is worthy of it all. So take up ur cross and run after Him! For whoever loses his life, will save it!

Obedience
Reflecting on everything this week, Obedience really sticks out. We need to answer His call. We need to step up, and take action. We need to seek His voice, seek His will, and follow His plan. We cant tell God, "Hold on, ill do it later when i want to." like how we talk back to our parents. We need to instantly follow God's lead. Following Him exactly, and passionately. We can't ignore when God calls us. We cannot choose our own will over His. Being prideful and selfish is putting ourselves before God. We need to be guided by our Father, because if we follow our own ways, it only leads to destruction and death. When God says to do something, DO IT!

Love and Prayer
The chief end of man is to glorify God. The chief end of God, is to glorify God. He calls us to Love Him with all our heart, with all our soul, and with all our minds. To Love n worship Him before everything else. He comes first in our life. Praying to Him, brings so much peace at times. Its so comforting to know that we can talk to Him 24/7! He never says "i dont wanna talk, im too busy, i dont care, im closed for today, i went out to lunch, call back later, or wrong numba." God actually wants to spend time with us. He loves when we come to Him.

Jesus, I need to give myself up. I am not strong enough to love You and walk with You on my own. I can't do it, and I need you. I need You deeply and desperately. I believe You are worth it, that You are better than anything else I could have in this life or the next. I want You. and when I don't, I want to want You. Be all in me. Take all of me. Have Your way with me. Amen!