No Confidence in the Flesh

Just got back from Epic's Man Camp. The high school girls went to a nice warm hotel, while the boys roughed it out in the wild. We played choke choke choke games. We went paddling, swimming, played football, dodgeball, hit da cracker, had a massive food fight and a bunch of funny relays.

The camp really help me form stronger relationships with some of the boys. I got to lead a team 4 of the boys. Most of the guys have faith, but are still in a stage of maturing in Christ. Our theme of the camp was becoming Men of God by Humbling ourselves. And honestly, it was something i too really needed to hear again.

The most challenging part of camp, was sleeping in the cold tent throughout the entire stormy night. It was freeezing coooold! And somehow water leaked in. So we had puddles of water leaking over in our blankets, n sleeping bags. I got super irritated with little flying bugs biting me, and making me itchy. The pouring rain would drop and hit me in the face. I rolled into puddles of water so my sweater got super soaked. We all tried to avoid da puddles, so we were super cramped with little sleeping space. Basically it was a hard night. I finally jus covered up my face, and dealt with the wet environment. I then started to count my blessings, and realized how lucky i was to actually have a tent, sleeping bag, and friends to sleep next to. Many ppl live with worst every night. I was grateful for God's warm love, that pours down like the storming rain. I started to worship and praise God, for His wonderful peace He gives us. Then i zonked out, got choke hours of rest, and woke up to a beautiful morning.

"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
-Phil 4:11-13

Perhaps the deepest moment for everyone was the campfire on the beach. The moon was huge n bright, the stars were twinkling, the clouds were all illuminated, the ocean was calm, and the horizon made us feel small. I stood with my toes dug into some sand, while the shoreline waters would wash my feet. The boys had earlier taken some time to write on boards of wood. They wrote down their fears, struggles and what the world expects men to be. They then got to karate chop their boards of wood and throw them into the fire. This represented surrendering our fear of the world and what people say men should be. We talked about how the world gives us many wrong views of what it means to be a man. It seems many high school students decided to take a serious oath with God. Many reflected over their hearts, and decided that it was time for a change. I got to pray over some of the guys, and i realized that they will one day take over our generation. We need to make sure that we build our little brothers n sisters in faith and maturity.

Boys will be boys. Of coarse the burping, farting, wrestling, pranks, eating contest, and silly goofiness will always live on, but now these boys are really starting to take their faith more seriously. I think i too need to mature in Christ. I'm starting to realize that i can't get away with being a kid all the time. Men of God need to take charge, and lead with the strength of humility.

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross! -Phil 2:5-8

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Im reading The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning. Ive been learning so much, after jus reading the first few chapters. It talks about God's grace, accepting ourselves, accepting others, allowing Christ to take away our messy sin, and move forward in faith. Ill probably write an entire blog about it, after i finish more. But in short, heres some stuff i picked up. We should all admit to being dirty, filthy, beat-up ragamuffins. We're all sinners, and desperate for a savior. Christ surrounded himself with the lowest of the low. Christ came for sinners, He had affection for the least expected, the tax collectors, prostitutes, lepers, the downtrodden, the persecuted, the hungry, the poor, the blind, the lame, and the smallest of the least. Jesus has a desire for the undesirable. A love for the unlovely. He cares for the lost and broken. As ragamuffins, lets allow Christ to purify us and heal our hearts.

Honestly, ive been feeling kinda burnt out lately. I hit a road block, that shook my faith. Faith is belief manifested. I believe my God is God, but I havnt been putting my trust on Him. There's a difference between believing that the chair exist, and actually sitting on the chair, relying that it will hold you up.

I guess my faith relied a lot on hearing God. I can normally hear God when i truly want to. But it was a few weeks of not really really hearing His voice. I would call upon Him, and i wouldnt be aware of any answer. It was wrong of me to demand God to reveal Himself when i call upon Him. God doesn't have to reveal Himself to me if He doesnt want to. Anywho.. I did get to hear His voice on Friday night during worship. He said "Trust me, my child. I am with you always." So that was super comforting.

And then yet again, i allowed myself to go back to the fear of man. I heard about a guy who was diligently pursuing ministry, and he ended up losing a lot of his faith in God. For some reason i started worrying about conforming to God's will. I feared that i would make bad decisions. I feared that i wouldnt be good enough. And i feared that i wouldnt become a good leader. And you know what, I probably will make dozens of wrong moves, I wont be good enough, and I wont be a good leader. I, I, I. Of coarse I'll be terrible if i focus on I. God is the one, who will direct me to make wise decisions, who will offer His grace for my shortcomings, who will lift me up when im down, who sees me as righteous in His sight, who will strengthen me through His Spirit, and use me to lead His people. God is the one. God jus keeps reminding me how desperately i need to humble myself.

"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." -Matt 5:3-10

It seems my own fleshy mind tried to get the best of me. I would hear "You wont be good enough. You wont be strong enough." whispered in my ear. And satan or my own flesh would try to tear me down. "Why dont u just live like everyone else!? It'll be so much easier and way more fun!" And i basically let the enemy, allow me to doubt God's will. I condemned myself, and even questioned my trust in God. What if I wont do things right?! What if i just end up making a fool out of myself?! What if i were to lose my faith in God?! I got so overwhelmed with being under confident in Christ. My flesh has won many battles, but in the end God's Spirit will have victory over my heart and soul. God is always, always faithful, His agape never fails. Our God is a God of redemption, and He uses the meek to become strong. Paul was just a man, but become extraordinary because he was willing to comply to God's will. So we need to pray, pray, pray, for true obedience and submission. The Holy Spirit is ready to do it's thing, we just need to walk by faith.

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death"
-Phil 3:7-10

"What if some were unfaithful? Does their faithlessness nullify the faithfulness of God?" -Romans 3:3

"And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God." -Phil 1:9-11

"We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true—even in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life." - 1 John 5:20

Not about Chris, But about Christ

Just got back from California. It was a good experience. I learned a few new things, but most of it was strengthening what i already knew. The greatest thing i probably learned was to actually apply what i know. We need to take our faith very seriously. We need to practice what we learned. Its like learning a new vocab word, but never using it in dialogue. What good is knowledge if we don't apply it to our lives.

Faith
A few blogs ago i talked about how important loving God is. Everything stems from our faith and love in God. But before we can love God, a prerequisite is knowing God's love for us. A few questions ive been asking myself are "How do i have faith? How do i seek God's love?" Obviously faith and love will push us to grow closer to God, but how do we do that?? We hear "Trust in the Lord, Repent and Believe, Take up ur own cross.." But how do we actually do all these things? There is no way we could do those things on our own. God's help is required for us to grow closer to Him. The Holy Spirit actually does choke work to draw us closer to God. The Holy Spirit encourages us to leap out in Faith. I know experiencing God would help. Reading His word would help. But i know so many non believers, and struggling Christians, that don't know how to increase in faith. We can read about His promises, but how can we truly believe in them? How can we put all our faith into what is unseen? I think faith produces faith. Trusting God, and allowing Him to fulfill or provide, will help us to trust Him even more.

Counting the Cost
I think too many people are afraid of putting all their marbles on God. But God tells us to count the cost. He doesnt say give me some of you. Just give me 10%, or 25% of you. He really requires us to devote 100% to Him. The Christian life is only meant to be lived out 100%. The question is why shouldnt we? We're already His to use, He gave us life, He gave us everything we have. We belong to Him. He even died for us, so we could be with Him. So why then do we have such a hard time submitting our trust, faith, and lives in Him? Most of the time, people realize how lost they are without God. Sometimes people hit rock bottom, finding themselves without any options. Then when there's no other place to turn, people finally surrender to Christ. I still find myself struggling with faith. I desire genuine faith. I want a heart that bleeds for God. I think it's a life long process to grow deeper in faith. We can never completely die to ourselves, and fully know God, until we see Him face to face.

"In our culture of seeker sensitivity and radical inclusivity, the great temptation is to compromise the cost of discipleship in order to draw a larger crowd. We do not want to see anyone walk away from Jesus because of the discomfort of His cross, so we clip the claws on the lion and clean up a bit of the bloody passion we are called to follow." -Shane Claiborne

Introspection
I think we learn much about God, by learning and reflecting about ourselves. Understanding who we are, and understanding our relationships with others, helps us to better understand God. How does God speak to you? How do you think? How do you learn? What is my purpose? How can I change or improve my ways? How can i conform to God's plan for me?

Fundamentals
The core heart of the bible, is the gospel (good news). That Christ died for our sins, so we can have a direct relationship with God. We need to always come back to the basics, like reading His Word daily, digesting it, meditating on it, and coming to Him in prayer. The foundation of our faith, is in the life of Jesus. That He came not to call the upright, but the sinners! He came for those in need of a savior.

Relationships
Having conversations, leads us into forming relationships. People are seeking to be understood. The way we can understand people, is by listening. We need to be more concerned with others than ourselves. The greatest thing that people like to talk about is themselves. So get to know them. Ask them their story, their background, their experiences, and be real with them. Love on them, and try to turn regular conversations, into deep conversations.

Teresa
I met a 3rd mom on this trip. She reminds me of the oracle from the matrix, because she tells people exactly what they need to hear. One thing that she helps people do, is get over the past pain. She understands that many of us, hold in some sort of internal pain. Most of us don't know how to grieve or face our damaged hearts. When we fall down, we need to recognize that we got hurt and sometimes we need to be nurtured, before we rush to get back up. She also taught me to be playful with God. Finding that peace and joy that passes understanding.

Rejoice in Suffering
I got sick through all the traveling and cold weather. And yet i will still rejoice and praise God, even though i feel physically weaker. Sometimes being sick shows us that we need to slow down. We need to find rest in Him. We need to humble ourselves. I think God intended us to struggle and face trials. God often uses suffering to glorify Himself. Far be it from God to do evil. But He does allow us to face trials, because He wants us to find the light throughout the darkness. All the men of the bible screwed up. They saw what it was like without God. They witnessed how worthless life would be without a sovereign God. Many times we pray for healing, and often times He does grant healing. But we have to keep in mind, that sometimes these trials are according to His will. We can pray for protection and health, but sometimes that's not how God intends it to be. Sometimes we need to struggle, in order to learn perseverance.

Party in Heaven
During the Winter Conference, we were worshiping, singing "Gloria, Hallelujah" over and over. And everyone's hands and hearts were lifted. The entire room was praising God. And i was jus imagining how much greater the party is in heaven. God is preparing a wonderful place, where we can fully witness His Holy being. We got a taste of how great the celebration will be. But until then we need to expand His kingdom, and show others this narrow gate.

Boldness
As Christians we need to be bold in our faith. We need to be confident in the Spirit. We need to take lead, and voice the love of God. If you know me, then u know that i can be extremely lazy. I dont like to be in charge. I rather someone else lead the way. I dont like taking risks or being responsible for things. But especially as a male, I need to see things to completion. I need to be proactive. Initiating, pursuing and willing to risk it all. In order for me to become a stronger leader, i need to block out fears, and build up more courage. Sometimes we need to go for 2 or 3 yards at a time, rather than for the touchdown pass. As long as we're taking a step froward, and striving for a first down, we'll eventually get to the end zone.

No Limits
Anything is possible with God. So why not trust Him with everything? He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine. Sometimes it seems we hold the Holy Spirit back from doing what it really wants to accomplish. We're afraid of what the world might say, or fearful of what others will think.

Prayer
One thing i need to work on is prayer. I dont nearly pray enough. God is always present. Its just that most of the time, we arnt aware of Him. We need to fill ourselves with His Word and the Spirit. We need alone time with God. Check in with Him throughout the day, and jus talk story. Prayer often leads to intimacy. We need prayer if we are to become stronger Christians. We need prayer if we want to humble ourselves and seek His face. If God is with us, who can be against us? Well alot of stuff are against us, but none are successful when we have God. Lets face it, we cant do anything right without God leading us. Lets just put everything aside, and fill our hearts with genuine faith. For God is always with us, even when we cant see Him.