Summer '10

My summer is coming to an end. It felt way too short because of my summer greek classes. I passed both by a few percent! I've never been so happy to pass with a C! The thought of having to retake it next semester was enough motivation for me. It was by far the most challenging and brutal class ive taken thus far. I wanted to cry, pull my hair out, light things on fire, and go to the extremes. Sometimes i'd pray for Christ to return just so i wouldnt have to suffer through an exam. lol.. In the positive light, i feel less confused about greek, and a little more confident in interpreting scripture. Reading the Bible in it's original text is quite fascinating because you'll pick things up you don't see in english, but for the most part i'll let the greek theologian scholars handle it.

Well... after i finished summer school it was off to Hawaii! I missed home dearly. It was great to see all my favorite restaurants, drink clean tap water, hit the beach, visit all my church friends, eat breakfast with old buddies, go to greg's house and get so excited for video games, go to the rec center and cruise like old times. It definitely brought back memories, even if i was only away for 7-8 months. It was especially refreshing to see my family and to see all my cuzins grow up. Theres a 4 month, 2yr old and 13 year old. They seriously do grow up too fast! I only got to spend 3 weeks in hawaii, and for 2 weeks i got sick with a cold, so that was a summer bummer. Vacation went by way too quickly and before i knew it, i'm back in cali, and off to school again.

Now that i'm backed in cali, i realized how much i missed my roommates, church, and my cat snowball! I find myself to be much more disciplined and independent in the mainland. When i was in Hawaii, my mom would do most of the cooking, chores, and garden work. I think that makes me lazy because that lets me get away with doing absolutely nothing, except focusing on having fun. But being sick for 2 weeks really made me miserable and sluggish. I ate tons of junk food and custard pie, i didnt wkout cuz i had no energy, i would sleep at weird hours, and become unproductive. I think it's easy to compromise your values and disciplines when life is easy and comfortable. But as we grow older, it seems we are forced to mature and take care of responsibilities. But sometimes it's great just being a kid.. i don't think i'll ever stop watching cartoons. lol

One think i struggled with this summer was truly desiring God, and how to desire him when i had a conflict of desires. I felt like i made a lot of excuses for myself and allowed myself to get distracted. I went in circles with trying to figure out how i could increase my faith and desire in Him. I felt like I couldnt hear Him, but it turns out I just wasnt listening. In order to desire Him, i normally need to be motivated by His love, in order for me to effectively embrace His love i normally have to spend quality time in silence and in prayer, which requires more desire.

So I didn't know how I would discipline myself, but it turns out that I really just needed to come back to repentance and worship. The more i condemned myself, and hid in my dark sins, the more i withdrew. Although I know God forgives all sin, I couldnt forgive myself of my failures. Once i was able to surrender and let go, trusting in His forgiveness I was able to move on. When we have a hard time trusting Him, we first need to turn to Him, and it is then His Spirit and love will motivate us to continue walking in faith. Our relationship is not based on performance, feelings, or our own efforts, but rather it is just abiding in Him and trusting His sovereign grace. I guess i just needed to preach the gospel to myself and remind myself of His good salvation and redemption.

Living in cali has made me more disciplined and organized. I try to focus on my goals daily. Some actually got accomplished, some i was inconsistent, and others i just sucked at. Here's some of my resolved goals and disciplines

cleaning my room
managing my time wisely
reading
going to the gym to get some cardio,
doing my devotions in God's Word
spending time in prayer/worship
eating healthy
improving my sleep habits
limiting computer/tv,
flossing and brushing my teeth more
decreasing the massive amount of money i spend
learn guitar

so my disciplines and goals vary in priorities but they've challenged me to grow stronger and more responsible as an individual. One goal that i've been working on is building on relationships. I realize how valuable it is to truly love others and enjoy spending time with them. I often take for granted how blessed i am to have such a great family and friends. Playing games, laughing, joking, having fun and catching up on old times really does make life more enjoyable. I guess it took me to move to the mainland to realize how lucky and fortunate i am. Once you're on your own, you realized how easy and simple life was. Lately i've been seeing how treasured relationships are, and how valuable it is to keep everyone close in touch. And the more we focus on absorbing God's love for us, the more we can extend that love out towards others. Well overall it's been a great summer, and now it's time for another semester. ah blogging really is good for the soul. till next time.

His Bride

So i jus finished my intensive Greek 1 and 2 at Talbot. I passed both by decimal points! Praise God i dont hafta take it again! lol.. So happy!

Ive been back home in Hawai'i nei for 3 days now! Ill be here till Aug 21st. It feels so good to see friends and family. I really missed a lot of them. I still have to see a bunch of church friends. Some Jehovah Witnesses came by Saturday, so we're planning on meeting again to discuss the person/deity of Jesus, so that'll be fun. It's great kicking back and jus playing a bunch of video games and eating local food. I also missed the weather (even nice rain) and i forgot how good hawaii's tap water is. Although i also forgot how expensive everything is ova here.

My first semester and summer at Talbot was surprising more difficult than i expected. I am glad that I have learned a lot of theology and practical ministry, but at the same time i feel that it can also become an idol for me. I really need to focus on my quiet devotional time. I'm also growing in faith by preaching the gospel to myself daily and jus resting in God's grace. It really feels great to have an advocate in our defense that draws us into intimate fellowship with God. I do feel a little more stable in my walk with God. I am still battling temptations of pride, lust, and laziness, but I do feel that God is pruning, sharping, refining me and preparing me for his work.

I am lately very astonished by the body and bride of Christ, His church. We are a new creation, adopted sons and daughters, and holy saints. I am jus amazed at the unity and great worship that i have witnesses in the church. A korean pastor once said, "The church is not a hall of fame or museum for saints, but rather a hospital for sinners." And i would agree that the church really does offer healing and restoration. I am learning to trust in the power of prayer for others, and not jus by words but in actions. Faith without works is dead, and whoever does not love his fellow brother does not know God. God's love and spirit of truth is becoming more and more manifested in the church. I am so overwhelmed and thankful for such a loving community. I now understand the great joy Paul felt when he spoke of seeing and worshiping with the body.

I really do see God's spirit at work and drawing his people to Him. I have been experiencing the bond between brothers and sisters, and great discipleship that is taking place. I noticed that the closer we draw to Christ, the more God uses us through His spirit, and the easier it becomes to love on others. I believe the key to healthy spiritual growth is really just abiding in Him and remaining steadfast in His almighty and sovereign grace. Friends, i pray that we would continue to press forward, confessing our sins to another, and being the church that God wills. Let the light of Christ shine in our lives, do not cover under a bushel, for love conquers over a multitude of sins. Pray for each other, offer our lives as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to Him. For we are created to grow in His likeness. Find rest, peace, and joy in His glorious Name, and praise Him who is mighty to save.

Father, i pray that we would die to ourselves, and that you would increase in our lives. We surrender our pride, we cry out for Spirit. I pray for consistency and immediate obedience. I pray that his church would be the salt and the light of this world, and that people of all nations and races would come to know Jesus as Lord and Savior. Father we thank you for your amazing love and grace, help us to trust and desire you when we dont. Heal our scars, forgive our sinful thoughts and actions. Change our hearts, conform us to your Son, and glorify your Church. Thank you for never letting go of us, You are so good! We praise you in Jesus Name! Amen!