Summer '10

My summer is coming to an end. It felt way too short because of my summer greek classes. I passed both by a few percent! I've never been so happy to pass with a C! The thought of having to retake it next semester was enough motivation for me. It was by far the most challenging and brutal class ive taken thus far. I wanted to cry, pull my hair out, light things on fire, and go to the extremes. Sometimes i'd pray for Christ to return just so i wouldnt have to suffer through an exam. lol.. In the positive light, i feel less confused about greek, and a little more confident in interpreting scripture. Reading the Bible in it's original text is quite fascinating because you'll pick things up you don't see in english, but for the most part i'll let the greek theologian scholars handle it.

Well... after i finished summer school it was off to Hawaii! I missed home dearly. It was great to see all my favorite restaurants, drink clean tap water, hit the beach, visit all my church friends, eat breakfast with old buddies, go to greg's house and get so excited for video games, go to the rec center and cruise like old times. It definitely brought back memories, even if i was only away for 7-8 months. It was especially refreshing to see my family and to see all my cuzins grow up. Theres a 4 month, 2yr old and 13 year old. They seriously do grow up too fast! I only got to spend 3 weeks in hawaii, and for 2 weeks i got sick with a cold, so that was a summer bummer. Vacation went by way too quickly and before i knew it, i'm back in cali, and off to school again.

Now that i'm backed in cali, i realized how much i missed my roommates, church, and my cat snowball! I find myself to be much more disciplined and independent in the mainland. When i was in Hawaii, my mom would do most of the cooking, chores, and garden work. I think that makes me lazy because that lets me get away with doing absolutely nothing, except focusing on having fun. But being sick for 2 weeks really made me miserable and sluggish. I ate tons of junk food and custard pie, i didnt wkout cuz i had no energy, i would sleep at weird hours, and become unproductive. I think it's easy to compromise your values and disciplines when life is easy and comfortable. But as we grow older, it seems we are forced to mature and take care of responsibilities. But sometimes it's great just being a kid.. i don't think i'll ever stop watching cartoons. lol

One think i struggled with this summer was truly desiring God, and how to desire him when i had a conflict of desires. I felt like i made a lot of excuses for myself and allowed myself to get distracted. I went in circles with trying to figure out how i could increase my faith and desire in Him. I felt like I couldnt hear Him, but it turns out I just wasnt listening. In order to desire Him, i normally need to be motivated by His love, in order for me to effectively embrace His love i normally have to spend quality time in silence and in prayer, which requires more desire.

So I didn't know how I would discipline myself, but it turns out that I really just needed to come back to repentance and worship. The more i condemned myself, and hid in my dark sins, the more i withdrew. Although I know God forgives all sin, I couldnt forgive myself of my failures. Once i was able to surrender and let go, trusting in His forgiveness I was able to move on. When we have a hard time trusting Him, we first need to turn to Him, and it is then His Spirit and love will motivate us to continue walking in faith. Our relationship is not based on performance, feelings, or our own efforts, but rather it is just abiding in Him and trusting His sovereign grace. I guess i just needed to preach the gospel to myself and remind myself of His good salvation and redemption.

Living in cali has made me more disciplined and organized. I try to focus on my goals daily. Some actually got accomplished, some i was inconsistent, and others i just sucked at. Here's some of my resolved goals and disciplines

cleaning my room
managing my time wisely
reading
going to the gym to get some cardio,
doing my devotions in God's Word
spending time in prayer/worship
eating healthy
improving my sleep habits
limiting computer/tv,
flossing and brushing my teeth more
decreasing the massive amount of money i spend
learn guitar

so my disciplines and goals vary in priorities but they've challenged me to grow stronger and more responsible as an individual. One goal that i've been working on is building on relationships. I realize how valuable it is to truly love others and enjoy spending time with them. I often take for granted how blessed i am to have such a great family and friends. Playing games, laughing, joking, having fun and catching up on old times really does make life more enjoyable. I guess it took me to move to the mainland to realize how lucky and fortunate i am. Once you're on your own, you realized how easy and simple life was. Lately i've been seeing how treasured relationships are, and how valuable it is to keep everyone close in touch. And the more we focus on absorbing God's love for us, the more we can extend that love out towards others. Well overall it's been a great summer, and now it's time for another semester. ah blogging really is good for the soul. till next time.