Having Grace for Yourself

Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God. Psalm 42:5

sometimes i get down on myself, but as Christians we are to practice a self talk. We are to preach to ourselves the gospel. God has conquered over both sin and death; i'm sure He's big enough to handle our problems and anxieties too. Cry out to the Lord in your despair. He is a God of peace, comfort and healing. Every second God is overflowing with infinite grace and is pouring out His endless love. Are we intentional on receiving it? By not having grace for ourselves we are in a sense denying His grace. I feel like a child who still can't walk properly. Even though i keep falling down, God keeps saying, "Let's get back up and try again." Even when I stumble and fall, i delight that i have a Father holding me with each step.

Ever know that you could do something well, and then not do as well as you expected? Sometimes i get disappointed and mad at myself for not doing my best. We have the capacity and potential to be great, and yet we often settle for alright. It's not about just getting by or doing enough. We are called to live to our fullest. We are to maximize our influence in this world and manage ourselves in a way that is honoring to God. 

Not loving when i know i could and should upsets me.  Having the allotted time to accomplish something and not taking advantage of that time to get the task done upsets me. Procrastinating and operating on 50% upsets me. I know that there's a chris who can lead in confidence, a chris that is responsible, a chris that is unwavering in faith, but lately i've only seen the chris that only hits the status quo. I hate that i live by cutting corners and taking short cuts. Greater quality requires greater commitment.

When we don't strive to become the best we can be, we see our mediocre results and products of it. By not exercising and eating right, our bodies show that we haven't been taking care of ourselves. By rushing through a homework assignment, we receive the average grade we deserved. By not putting in time to do the proper research and preparation, we see the lack there of. I beat myself up and self condemn myself for not doing and being my best. I'm not saying we should be perfectionist, i'm saying we shouldn't settle for short. I'm a C+ B- kind of guy. My whole life i've figured out ways to not expend energy so i didn't need to work too hard.

What's frustrating is that now that I do try to put in 100% of my energy into performing certain task, i still fail and can't get an A. It makes you feel like your not good enough at something, inadequate and weak. Doing your best and still ending up in failure is even more discouraging. Wanting to do better and yet still fumbling the same importunity makes me upset at myself. I know i can do better, but i'm struggling to be better. I can preach about spiritual things and how we ought to live, but actually living by the spirit and not gratifying the desires of the flesh in my own daily life is a whole different thing.

I need grace for myself. God is full of grace and loves us even after we've dropped all the eggs. However, i need to learn to find grace for myself. Sanctification is saying no to sin and yes to righteousness more and more in our life. We are to conform our mind, desires, emotions, and will to the likeness of Christ. Imitating Christ is more than just imitating His actions. We are to conform our thoughts, feelings, and attitudes to His. We are to have the same dependent relationship with the Father as Jesus did.

Lately i've felt a little overwhelmed with life. Trying to do everything at 100% is impossible. There needs to be sacrifices and the one thing i don't want to sacrifice is my spiritual walk and time with God. I want to be faithful to all my responsibilities, but I get so quickly exhausted and burnt out from trying to prepare for the coming week. My bad sleep schedule affects my entire life. If i don't get enough sleep the previous night, i'm normally a zombie to other people. It's so hard to express love when your  exhausted. Getting natural and spiritual rest are very important disciplines. Sometimes i only rest and then never put in the time to do work. I also need to have the self discipline to stay focused on a specific task. I get way too distracted or lazy.

I met with one of my favorite professors this week. He's probably the busiest guy I know and yet his life always seems so well together. He's a husband, professor, pastor, and not to mention a father of 10 children. He gave me some good advice. Learn when to say No to things and also when to say Yes to things. When i told him i felt guilty for not reading devotions daily he said that it shouldn't be the only way we go about spirituality. We are to look at how well we are producing the fruits of the Spirit in our life. Is there love, joy, peace, self-control, etc? Are we serving others and faithfully obeying Him in worship? Do we mediate and think upon God? Do we abide and commune with Him throughout our day. We need to see ourselves with the perspective that we aren't really that busy. We actually have tons of time throughout our day to accomplish our given responsibilities. Christians have the special perk of tapping into God's strength for help. He gives us the ability to persevere through trails, manage ourselves and to devote ourselves to His will.

Trials make you stronger. Experience makes you wiser. Practice produces precision. Trust, abide, and delight in Him. Receive His grace. See yourself the way God sees you. See others the way God sees them. As works in progress, we know that in faith we are growing, training and learning to become the disciples He desires us to be. Be a faithful steward with what God has entrusted you with, trust in God's strength, follow where God leads, and live in the fullness of who God has created and called you to be.

Man i'm so tired, i dont even know what i'm saying.. time to go to sleeeeep!  XD

³ Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." Romans 5:3-5

^"8For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. ⁹ This is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance. ¹⁰ That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe.¹¹ Command and teach these things. ¹² Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. ¹³ Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. ¹⁴ Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through prophecy when the body of elders laid their hands on you. ¹⁵ Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. ¹⁶ Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers." -1 Timothy 4:8-16

 ^"5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; ⁶ and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; ⁷ and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. ⁸ For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." -2 Peter 1:5-8