Introspection

donchya hate long blogs? me too. meahn! I don't like reading long blogs, and yet my blogs are always the longest, lol

im pretty sure ive been goin through slumps of mild depression. there are moments of happiness, usually video games, food and sleep, lol. But the problem is i can't trace the root of the depression. In the past i think loneliness attributed to some depression, but i don't really feel lonely. I think it's because i'm not satisfied in so many areas of my life. it feels like nothing is going really well. i'm not doin horrible in these areas, i jus feel like i've been sloppy and that everything is slowly falling apart. 

dogs!

why can't i sleep at a normal time like a normal person
ahh school is kicking me in the butt
i hope i dont get sick this winter
i miss hawaii weather, not too hot and not too cold
i want cereal and a sausage mcmuffin
i miss my childhood days
i want shaved ice
i like cartoons
i wish i had a real BEMO ^_^
i wish i had a photographic memory
how come i hafta pee like 20 kajillion times a day!
i wonder if a presidential candidate ran for office and promised free chicken mcnuggets and ice cream cones for everyone, how many ppl would vote for him, heck if arnold can win, anythin is possible
i wonder if ill ever drink coffee, read the news paper, and play golf
i had a dream i had a little baby girl
felt strange being a dad for awhile and changing diapers
i reallllllly want a dog
i saw a little brown furry one by himself on the sidewalk,
why do dogs always look so happy?
i remember i used to be scared of them when they were bigger than me
i like the way they walk, lol
i love dogs, i love every kind a dog, i jus want to hug all of them
but i cant huge every dog
i jus love them and i want them. i want them in a basket
and ones with little bow ties, i want them on a rainbow and in my bed, so we can jus roll around, roll around
i even came up with a list of all the fun things i'd do if i had a dog
it included, long adventurous walks, hunting, frisbees, a giant dog house, hiking, eating steaks, cooking breakfast, wearing pajamas, basketball, movies, video games, mcflurries, teaching it to talk, making music videos, traveling, killing zombies, chasing ppl on the street, and pooping on yards
i wanna be like ace ventura and have a bunch of crazy animals for pets
but minus the smell, poop, mess and having to feed them part, lol
it'd be cool to talk to animals
im sorry im thinking about dogs again, and again and again
lol if u never saw the "i love cats video" i guess u'd think i'm kinda weird
actually, who isn't weird?
i thought it was funny how my friend's mom made pillows with pictures of her dogs on em
i think i love monkeys too
itd be awesome to have a well trained monkey
im sick of fast food, wingstop never again!
our country is battling obesity and yet there's a fast food place on every corner!
it's a love hate relationship,
i feel like i'm always craving a burger, fries, a cold soda, and ice cream
cheap, fast, no dishes!
it's so hard to go grocery shoppin for healthy food
i guess i gotta go back to cookin chicken and vegetables every night.
i should train my dog to cook, and then have other dogs do my laundry and hw
seriously how come i cant jus go to sleep at night
i miss long summer/winter breaks
kinda miss being home..
lol i cant believe u wasted ur time reading this
i sound like im 5yrs old

WooriChurch

ZOMBIES!!

I can't stop watching this show called, "The Walking Dead." It's all i think about. second season has some slow boring parts, but it's still good because this show actually understands how to build different dynamics of character development. Each character is complex and has conflict with other characters. It's about a group of people who are trying to survive a plague that turned almost everyone into a "walker" (zombie). Each episode ends with suspense, making you want more.

There's a good guy named shane, who later turns out to be kinda crazy. He'll do anything survive.. Then there's the protagonist Rick, who's the leader and tries to make the best judgements. He goes out of his way to rescue and save people. Then there's Rick's wife, Lori. She thought Rick died, and hooked up with Shane, but then found out Rick was still alive, so she kept it all a secret. Then there's this old guy named Dale. He's so awesome because he always looks out for people and wants to keep people safe. He has the best talks to convince people of what's right and wrong. He can also read people well and knows when someone's lying. Then there's the young asian guy, Glen who used to be a pizza delivery guy. He kinda acts as the comic relief. Then there's T-dog, this black guy who feels like he's left out of the group, but he's actually a pretty good guy. Then there's Andrea. She's been through the most trauma and she got a lil suicidal cuz she didn't wanna hafta suffer in this fallen zombie world. And then there's this hunter survivalist dude named Daryl. At first he was kinda the jerk who only cared for himself and had a short fuse. But then as the story develops he kinda turns into a pretty good guy. you guys probably wouldn't like it cuz it has gory scenes of zombies tryin to eat people. The zombie actors actually look pretty real. i lose sleep because of this show.

So anyways.. that's what ive been thinkin about all day long. It makes me think, what if zombies were real. and i needed food, guns and shelter. At least there wouldn't be any school hw and i wouldn't need to pay back finical aid! There's a new game called Call of Duty Black Ops 2. And it has a zombie mode.. im really looking forward to it. i love shooting zombies, then making money to buy cooler guns. I guess that's what makes Minecraft fun too. Build a house and run around protecting yourself from zombies.

When i'm not thinkin about zombies i'm thinkin about how cool it'd be to be a ninja like naruto. I would have all these cool jutsu ninja techniques and skills. I would be able to control elements, be able to train, protect a village and fight bad guys! And then.. when i'm not thinkin about zombies, and naruto ninjas, i play pokemon! i finally beat the game, but there's still more places to explore! i think it'd be cool to not hafta go to school, fly on my dragon bird pokemon, catch new friends, and battle random ppl standing in the grass. It'd be cool to have an awesome pokemon theme song playing wherever i go.

Then, when i'm not thinking about zombies, ninjas, or pokemon. My mind goes straight to superheros and superpowers. I am anxiously waiting for x-men vs avengers, the first cross over comic book. it comes in the mail late november.. u guys probably don't care at all, but Captain America n the Avengers wanna destroy this girl named Hope. She's said to be the next Phoenix. Jean Grey the last Phoenix destroyed cities and went on a killing rampage. But Cyclops and the X-men are trying to protect Hope, because they think she'll bring new life, healing and new birth to their mutant species. Later Cyclops and some other x-men receive the power of the phoenix, but cyclops loses his cool and has too much power. so then the Avengers attempt to stop them. Oh so much action! I would ace school if they tested me on these things that actually have value.

I jus watched a Batman movie, and it was different because Bruce
Wayne is retired and old. He hasta fight ppl with his smarts, and even when he gets all beat up from this big huge guy, Batman has redemption. He draws strength from the pain of his past. He summons this deep willpower, fight crime and see justice, protect the weak and see justice. Then after i think about all those things.. i realize i still haven't done my homework. so i go to sleep, and dream a world without studying hebrew.

Homework Thursdays

I like Thursdays. Since i don't have class i originally tried to dedicate Thursdays for homework. Wednesday nights I tell myself, i'll wake up and go to corner bakery, panera, starbucks or even norms to go study like a good student..

But this is what happens
I wake up late.. (oh so awesome to not be forced by an alarm clock)
I stay in pajamas all day..
(yah it's actually gettin cold enough to where i wear socks, pjs, n a jacket)
I make my visalus, maybe find some yogurt or ice cream,
play some video games
watch naruto!
watch walking dead.. oh sooooo intense, ahh!
i still needta watch a new animated batman movie
by then it starts to get late in the afternoon
so i debate on going to the gym to do somethin productive
i normally fail and end up blogging about it
then i evolve into a snorlax eating snacks and fallin into naps, oh snap
then my roommate comes home n we end up playin video games
so much for Homework Thursdays
also didnt do any devos

It's strange when i have a free day. I treat it like a one day summer break. I should really go out to study, wkout, or do something productive

mm.. maybe later.. zzz