A Rainy Day

It's been raining the past few days in hawaii. i'm not sure if i like it or not. I like the sound of rain. but i don't like when everything is wet and u can't go out to play. but then it's more cozy and you're tempted to stay inside. I concluded that I like when it drizzles just a little and not when it pours like crazy.

Yesterday i went to the rec center to play ball with a friend. As i was waiting, i ran into another old school friend. It feels weird calling people an acquaintance, but he was more of an acquaintance, lol. i think growing up in hawaii, u get used to calling everyone your friend. We exchanged the common "so what you been up to" questions. And i kept noticing that he kept saying, "yeah, yeah" a lot. It kinda reminds me of my old school teacher friend who says, "so yeah, cool, cool, okay, yeah" after everything you say. Then he doesn't respond with anything else, so now we both just stand there nodding our heads saying, "so yeah, cool, yeah, okay.." I also think it's funny when you're both tryin to come up with conversation questions towards each other and you both interrupt each other saying, "so what you....oh, huh? no you go.." at the same time and then you jus let someone go first. darn you blog tangents..

anyways, it was really nice meeting up with my friend. it was kinda funny since we we're talking about how we'll probably still be hanging out at the rec center another 10 years from now. It's kinda crazy how everyone my age is growing up. Less friends are still in school and more friends are working full time. it's crazy how people are already buying houses, getting married or having kids. I feel like high school wasn't even that long ago.

It was sorta refreshing to be at the first gym i grew up at. Everyone who lives around the area usually just randomly meets at the rec center. I saw all these young guys starting to lift weights, and they reminded me of myself. Usually when you walk in, you instantly run into someone you know. but this time it was weird since i got the random eye contact stares from people i've never seen. That's always awkward, especially when it happens a second time. It's kinda funny cuz both of you are thinking, "why is this guy lookin at me?" maybe i'm jus prone to be socially awkward

then my friend and i both started walking back up the hill since we both live relatively close and we both don't have a car. It made me realize how i really enjoy physical exercise with a friend. it made me feel alive walking up a hill in the rain. Another friend was supposed to pick us up to see world war Z, but then they decided to go to a bar. Sometimes i wish my stomach could handle some alcohol. just because it's a way a lot of my friends socialize. I feel like a kid who's limited to water and sugary fruit drinks. I'm kinda at that age where you're almost supposed to be working. I did beat the elite four in pkmn mmo, which should count for something right?

Then as i'm walkin up to my house, another friend saw me from her garage. She yelled, "chris!" and it kinda surprised me. We exchanged the, "how ya doin" questions. And as i was standing in the rain she asked, "do you want an umbrella?" And i was like, "nah, after your soaking wet you kinda get used to it," as water rolled down my face. Then you realize that you're running out of things to say, so you say, "ok well see ya" and walk off. Then you're instantly reminded of something you should have said or asked. After running into three random friends in one day, it made me realize how all of them looked different. Everyone was getting older and moving on towards bigger things. And maybe how i'm constantly trying to relive my youth. I'm reminded of a song lyric that goes, "we got older, but we're still young." I wanna stay young forever. Getting older just means more responsibility.

I had a conversation with my mom. Somehow the subject of kids came up. And i was like, I don't think i want kids. You know how much work they are?! and she was like, "Yeah tell me about it!" LOL. I was like yeah, "They cost so much money, don't make any money and they just sit around and eat all your food!" and she was like, "Yeah! that's not fair! they eat all your food!" And i was like.. mom don't worry about grandchildren just yet, you normally hafta find someone to marry before u have kids, so u dont hafta worry about it for a long while.

I was cleaning up my garage with my mom today. And we found so many old things. It's interesting how objects have so many memories connected to them. My mom found some old VCR and cassette tapes. I told my mom, there are kids who wouldn't even know what those are. I found my step dad's old pog collection. I even started playin them by myself. Some pogs are still cool looking. But most of them are pretty lame. It's funny how our parents' generation didn't have the internet, smart phones and video games. They had type writers, beepers and pogs, lol. We even found old pictures of our family. It was kinda sad since there's been divorce, and some people passed away. It's also weird looking at high school and college pictures of your parents. Maybe since it's hard picturing what our parents were like when they were young.

I realized that i find myself reminiscing and missing things in the past. I wonder if one day i'll reminisce these days. Sometimes you don't realize how good you had it till it's gone. I think i'm afraid of growing up. afraid of change. afraid to lose friends. And afraid of the unknown future. There's so many unanswered questions. They're primarily about landing a stable life career and what all that looks like. To avoid all these thoughts and fears, i just tell myself to stop dwelling on them so much. "change is a law of life. those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future."-JFK but dwelling on the past and future, can also make u miss the present.