Random Thoughts

if i said.. "It's not opposite day." would it be..
A) Opposite Day 
B) Not Opposite Day

if you step into my head, u might not find the exit. and if u do find an exit, pls tell me where it is! i went wandering and got lost. 

well.. now that ur in my head, i should tell u to take off ur shoes first. nah jus joking, its already messy in here.. can u help me clean? u made a mistake, u shouldn't be in here. but owell its too late now. 

sometimes i try to make funny jokes, but they don't come out as funny as i thought they would, sometimes u gotta miss a few shots until one goes in ya'kno?

i have a bunch of silly thoughts mixed in with some serious ones. lol sometimes i write blogs as if ppl actually read 'em. even tho i know no1 reads long blogs, it's still therapeutic for me to process all my unorganized thoughts. 

what if.. there were higher beings than humans on earth? like where humanity hadta come together to defend their way of life, it might stop racism and being at war against each other. like what if giant birds jus plucked us out from the sky.. bird poop would be an entirely different problem

what if animals, plants, food and machines formed an alliance army to one day rise up against humans? i think an army of bugs would be complete chaos

fat friendly cats are like fluffy pillows that breathe 

how come girls don't grow beards? I'm glad they don't, but it's a legitimate question right? 

if a mentally crazy person went crazy, would that make him normal?

i used to think alien UFOs used to camouflage and hide in clouds 

i like shows/ movies where there's a trader amongst a team/group. and u kinda hafta figure out who it is.

waffles or pancakes? i know u all said pancakes.. id agree.. but what if the waffles we're like those big ones with those really good strawberries, maybe ice cream and whip cream. some ppl don't like whip cream. i don't really get it since it doesn't even really taste like anything.

what if no one were allowed to cut their hair?

nothing good happens after 2PM. jus go to sleep.

You were jus captured by mean terrorist. (yeah not the nice terrorist..) You're the only person with a top secret nuclear weapon code. if u give them the nuclear bomb code, that means at least 20,000 people in ur home city will die. the terrorist then reveal that they've captured your spouse, your child, and your dog! they threaten to torture them to death if you don't give them the code and vow to release all of you if you tell them the code. Do you tell them or not?

if u were president for 1 minute and could make one law everyone had to follow, (without any consequences) what would it be? i think i'd push for adult scheduled recess/nap time for all americans

my mom said i had an imaginary friend when i was younger. that jus means i have a really strong and creative imagination right? mm.. and maybe a sprinkle of crazy

ok.. so like.. we got big cats like leopards, cheetahs, tigers, lions, panthers, but we gots no big dog animals? wuddup?! how come?

u ever get really frustrated at yourself? like you can't seem to change. u continually make the same mistakes. i want to be better. but why do i find myself stuck being the same?

u ever have a pointless conversation. like there's jus no point. it's jus useless words. i think im developing a pet peeve to useless conversations. im not talkin about small talk, im talking about conversations that have absolutely no point.

i think when im nervous i try to fill the silence. my step dad dropped by the other day, i havnt seen him in years. and i found myself jus over talking cuz maybe silence felt even more awkward

is it true that generally girls like to talk more like small talk chit chat, while guys jus want the info, facts, important updates?  


how come fruits and plants don't have a longer life span? how come some trees can live for a long time and then flowers fade so quickly? even some bugs only survive for a day or two. lol i don't mind bugs dying fast. how come turtles live a long time?

i seriously have music A.D.D.. i get tired of a song after about 1:24 seconds. i think really really good songs are the ones that u can either 1) dance to, 2) makes u feel all sorts of emotions/ memories. 3) u can listen to it 39 times and not get tired of it.

There's a pill in your hand. if u swallow it ull get 100 million dollars. but the catch is there's a 4% you could die instantly. would u take the pill?

if u could travel back in time and u had the opportunity to only murder Hitler when he was a baby would you? 

would u purposely tell a lie if it would save you $2000? would u steal? what if it were for $50,000? where exactly do we draw the line? i'd like to say no i wouldn't. but look at how much we compromise our integrity and morals even without that much incentive. if u were to honestly put yourself in a tempting situation, it seems most of the time we justify taking shortcuts. i think there's something good about doing things right. i jus wish i could always hold myself to those higher standards. this is somewhat of a real dilemma for me..

have you ever seen someone in such deep pain that you can't help but feel hurt as well? seeing people cry makes me wanna cry.. but ill never admit that What if you could do really amazing things. like u could dunk, hit holes in one, lift cars, and dodge bullets. but only when no one is watching. what if u drew the greatest masterpiece of art, but no one could ever see it. 

what if u had the ability to absorb people's superpowers, but no one else had a superpower..

what if you had the ability to communicate telepathically but u have no control of who u want to talk to

did u know laughter produces the same endorphins as having sex? it's probably why we enjoy laughing more with certain people than with others. neurology confuses me sometimes. like so much of our emotions and moods are biological stuff in our brains. sex seems like such a taboo thing, and yet its like all over the media. hm.. i wonder why God made it a biological need. i mean we all give into our needs of eating and sleeping. but like, i wish we could turn off sexual desires till we we're married, so we could live with a little more purity.

what if u could see spirit rabbit animals that no one else could see. and no1 believed u. but they were really there. would u think u were crazy, even tho u knew what u could see?

do u think its more fun to read, write or draw? well ya obviously drawing… ok between reading and writing which would u prefer? 

technically, if u could walk through walls.. wouldn't u jus phase through the ground and have no way of getting back up to surface? 

i wish we had more control of our thoughts and emotions. i wish we could control our memories too. like choose only to remember the good times. savor the moments of happiness. but guess thats jus not how life is

I'm gonna name my kids acupunct, infrastruct, tea, imma, moist, past, pic, gest, lect, cult, creat, feat, mix, text, rap, script, prea, advent, depart, tor, cap


there's a lot of movies about time travel lately. like the one where the guy can go back to redo his mistakes with this girl. then the high school one where they invent a time machine. i also wanna see a movie called kings of the summer, where a bunch of friends basically run away and live in some fort they made in the woods.

Ever wonder what life would be like if things were different. like if u made different decisions. What if i continued to live/work in CA and not move back? what if i said, didn't say, did or didn't do certain things? makes u wonder alternative possible realities. 

in the movie "about time" this guy can travel through time to fix his mistakes. but towards the end he realizes that he should just enjoy each moment as it is. he learns to savor and appreciate all the small details. i guess it's a reminder to live life to the fullest and each day is a new opportunity. 

ever have a really interesting thought, and because u don't write it down immediately it jus disappears forever, leaving u wondering what it was? i cerealously jus lost another random though.. guh it's bugging me cuz i cant remember

if u saw a complete stranger, say 40 years old. and they were crossing the street about to get hit by a car. would u jump and push them out of the way to save their life even if it meant ud die?

ever ask a tough question, and then someone asks for ur opinion, and u realize, dang i jus wanted to ask the question, idk how to answer my own questions

my friend convinced me to sign up for the great aloha run they have annually. and i was kinda excited at first cuz i never ran in a marathon. but then i find out it's 8 miles long. and i realized that i can barely run 2 miles w/o dying. lol.. i don't think i can even walk 8 miles. i guess im supposed to start conditioning myself or something.. yeah running jus isn't fun.. what was i thinking..

the tv is on. and some show ive never seen is on. my tv is on mute. i have no idea whats happening, but im tryin to understand it. theres a lady tryin to convince this girl about something. the girl is crying and she looks pregnant. and then i think to myself, why am i tryin to interpret this show.. its boring, watchin tv in mute is kinda fun cuz my head adds imaginary commentary.. u should try it

I got to hangout with an old friend i knew since elementary school- high school. We used to hangout like 3-4 times a week playing ball, wkingout, poker, movies, video games, u name it. he was my training partner. we'd run, and compete against each other in practically everything. everything was a contest of who was better at a sport or game. if life were pokemon, he'd be my "gary." But having a rival who's a friend pretty much pushes u to excel and train harder. But after i moved to CA i basically lost touch with him. 

So today it was really great to hangout with him at the rec center where we spent most of our days. we'd lift, ball, swim, grab dinner, shower at each others place, stay up playin games. And even tho years have passed, its almost as if nothing has changed. We talked about how difficult it is to make a living and start a family. we talked about how we're getting pretty old. we talked about family and relationships. we talked about finding the right job. we played a few rounds of pingpong like the old days. It got intense. he's a funny guy. we had a lot of laughs. i can't think of anything really better than jus laughing with a good friend. it was refreshing to know i got at least one brother back in my life. 

do u think the people you really love, know how much you love them? 


what if smart phones were somehow implemented into your body, and u became like 17% machine? like u could communicate telepathically to other machine ppl instead of texting. and if ur arm fell off, u jus had to go see the week squad for repairs. and instead of sleeping, u jus hit ur sleep off switch and plug urself into an outlet. if u had a computer brain u could google stuff and have access to knowledge that would make taking test easier. u could record ur dreams maybe. u could download certain skill apps that would upgrade ur talents. u could watch movies in ur head and project them through ur eyes. u could play stereo music through ur ears. but then u could also crash because wifi goes down, lol

how come i can't whistle?

ever find yourself lying to yourself? like pretending you're ok as if you could somehow trick yourself? perhaps it's by distracting yourself to ignore thinking and feeling. perhaps its an attempt to protect yourself from pain. perhaps u tell yourself something, when deep down you know it's not true. when there isn't any other solution, maybe it's not wrong to try and distract yourself.

would u rather have 5 kids or none? …mm none.. mo cheaper, cuz kids are money sucking leeches! i think it's crazy how people can basically reproduce another human thats made of half the parents chromosomes

i dont like when u wait till after the movie credits are over in the theatre, cuz u dont know if theres gonna be an extra scene or outtakes, so u wait and there isnt any. and then times u jus leave, someone says that there was something..


u ever wonder what it'd be like to be an angel for a day? i don't think angels can sin. maybe they could when satan and a third of the angels fell. but can they still choose to sin now? i think it'd be cool to worship God and go around and bless people all day.. like maybe their invisible so God gets all the glory. then i forget we can bless ppl and worship him as humans too. but maybe not in as cool of a way, lol. 


sometimes i really wish i wasn't an only child. it has it's perks sometimes. but really i'd like a younger sibling to play with. someone to grow up with and be close with. someone to share things with, to take care of, and someone to do things with. but then an older sibling is nice since u don't have the heavy responsibilities, and they can help u make wiser decisions. at least a dog.. common.. no fair

do ninjas sleep? i bet they sleep all in the day time and jus hangout in dark corners at night playing on their smart phones. 


ok.. with stem cell stuff and genetic science stuff, if u had the option of increasing the gender odds of your baby statistically, like boy or girl, would you? It does seem to manipulate what God already has planned. but like what if you already had 5 boys? And some ppl will jus keep popping out babies till they do get the gender they want. i know they have technology to manipulate eye color and stuff like that. what if your baby was at high risk for a health disorder? wouldn't u want to do everything that could prevent it? sometimes i jus like debating where you draw the line on things.

something jus randomly fell on the kitchen ground and spooked me. but like.. no one is there.. probably jus delayed gravity. 

ever feel like jus eating even tho ur not even hungry? like there's jus this need to be chewing and snacking

have u ever had a friend or two, and one of u starts laughing uncontrollably for like 5 minutes, and u can't stop laughing, and u turn red, and ur stomach begins to hurt? i miss those laugh attacks. 

what did you have for lunch yesterday? funny how we can't even remember. i went to give blood yesterday and the lady was like did u eat breakfast, and i pondered for a second giving a long, uhhhhm.. i dunno. lol.. no? oh wait.. uh nope. see now if u were a robot u could rewind and search your memory folder. just sayin.. 

if u were playing "pretend the ground is lava game" then ud hafta pretend to be dead since being so close to hot boiling magma would probably make ur body disintegrate, include the furniture ur sitting on. u know when the wind blows and the leaves dance in a weird circle tornado thing. I'm waiting for this perfect day where there's that opportunity to jump in the middle and pretend I'm a super saiyan charging up. 

ever start a thought like.. have u ever seen a movie called _______. and the person is like "uhmm no?" and then u spend like 5 mins trying to describe a book or movie and they have absolutely no idea or care of what ur saying. It's kinda like when something happens to u, and u end up telling them ur experience, but u can't quite describe it in good detail and u basically end with, "well u woulda had to been there or seen it urself." lol and then they're like "cool story bro."

what habits or phrases do u overuse? i bite my nails and shake my legs a lot when i sit. i also curl my toes when i sit bare feet. i wonder if those things mean anything. oh i noticed that i like to play with paper and fold it and jus keep my hands busy. i also notice i say, "ya, or you know?" after sentences. and i guess everyone says, "uhmm ya like.." or "but um" if u don't notice any of ur habits, jus ask ur friends and they'll basically tear u apart in what u do. lol

i remember when my friends say i put my shirt over my mouth a lot. and i told them, yeah i don't like whipping or touching my face with my hands, that's jus good hygiene yo. 



i forgot how i don't need to say 808 area code, when someone asks for my number. cuz in cali i got used to that, but here, ppl are like, yeah no duh everyone is 808.

i think I'm developing more of a sweet tooth. lol i remember i thought a sweet tooth was really a specific tooth that made u need sweet things. lately I've jus been craving cold tasty sweet stuff. like guava juice. oh man. melona bars, mochi ice cream, boba, shave ice. darn auto correct is changing all my correctly spelled words. what if.. what if u could make a computer have auto incorrect spelling?! lol ok thats jus dumb chris. 

random thoughts make me go on so many tangents. i once met this lady at disney land or something, and she jus kept talking to me, and one thing led to another and another and u know how I'm jus to polite to say sorry I'm tired of listening to you and i wanna go now. lol.. so u jus politely nod your head as if u understood everything she just said about her childhood experiences and her uncle's sister's roommate's nephew's doctor's brother's grandpa's niece.

sometimes i'll nod and say "yeah, oh ok" cuz u already asked them to repeat themselves. but then the second time they say it, u still don't catch it.. and u don't wanna ask them a third time. cuz then like everyone.. u shout it on the third.. and so u jus pretend.. and realize u have no idea what they just said.

how come we forget stuff? like dreams? like we live in this entirely different world similar to reality and then u wake up to go pee at 4:05am, and then by the time u go back to bed u realize that you're wide awake and u can't remember the dream u were having. but u remember it was pretty awesome. and then u lie in bed trying to remember. 

i had a theory about recalling dreams. i think when i put a pillow on my head with my arm on, or hold my head upside down when standing, i think ur able to recall dreams better. i think when there's more blood pressure in my head I'm able to go back into dream world for a bit. do u think it means anything if u have someone in ur dream, like a friend u haven't seen in a long time? does it mean u subconsciously still think about that person?

i remember making pancakes in my dream, and I've been craving pancakes now. i remember something to do with having to fill up a cup, but all the ice and water was dirty and i didn't want to drink it, and then it made me think of all the people in the world who don't have clean hawaii water. also my friend was in a bag filled with water and they were trying to show me a magic trick, but it failed. then i remember trying to decide what type of soda i want to drink. i think i was really thirsty.

u know what grinds my gears? when songs have a really catchy beat and sound, but the lyrics suck when u pay attention to what it's really about.

i need to remember to buy these car seat hole protector things by ur seat buckle. like u know that gap where everything falls and gets lost? this dude made the cheap universal seat hole protectors. man.. instant millionaire idea. i like my new car smell and the seat heater warmers. only thing is that i need to sell a couch in my garage, cuz i hafta basically get in and out thru the passenger side. 

ever thing of jus inventing something everyone could use or liked? then u come up with something really good.. to find out that it's already been made by someone else? my thought is.. take whatever existing invention.. and make it glow in the dark. glow in the dark paper. BAM! every wanna draw in the dark? well i guess thats sorta already out there. oh.. what if u could create a pen that could draw in the air for a few seconds. hmm.. glow in the dark puppies! 


I found out that someone had serious thoughts of committing suicide. i knew this person my whole life. And i can pretty much see their reasons for it. they wen through excruciating physical and emotional pain this past 4-5 years. Their situation has dramatically changed their way of life. and there does seem to be a high risk for a shorter time on this planet. like.. what's the limit someone haste endure till they believe just dying would be much better.

i had stomach pains so bad that i really didn't mind jus going to heaven a little early even if i didn't live a full life. But then u think about the ppl on earth that you still care about. u think, well this pain really won't last forever. and there's things left that you can still accomplish. if u can endure the pain and suffering, you'll usually come out having a new perspective and stronger will. we don't really appreciate good health in all areas of our life until we start to feel what it's like to be unhealthy.

wouldn't it be nice if u could call ur keys and wallet. i should invent a "Find my Keys and Wallet" App. like u press a button on ur phone, and it's linked to ur stuff and ur stuff will yell out, "HEY! I'm over here u doofus! Over here!"


i wish i could be a super saiyan.. but like what if ur hair was already yellow/blond? would it turn black? they never did explain why their hair/eyes change. did u kno when goku turns into god mode, his hair turns red? yeah true fact. oh.. it would kinda suck if u look at the moon and ur monkey tail makes u turn into a giant uncontrollable ape. how come boku teleport, that jus seems OP. 


okay.. i was in bed really thinking about this.. how cool would it be if u could clone yourself like naruto. like clone yourself as many times as you want for as long as u want. like.. one clone could sleep to regain chakra, u could make a clone to play video games or basketball with, have a few clones scattered around the globe to gather experience, make one clone read books so ull gain knowledge, have one clone clean house, have one clone cook food, have a few clones working so u can make money, and jus make clones for stuff u dont feel like doing. or.. maybe u could throw pokeballs and summon minions.. i really want a sharingan.. genjustu everyone. 


ok question.. what if u had a close friend or family member pass away. and they had the technology to clone a exact replica of your loved one.. would u do it? i find that hard to answer.. like u know they arn't real. but like if they look and talk like the real thing.. wouldn't that be almost as good?

i want to be a superhero.. mm.. maybe i jus wanna wear a cape


how come I've had 20 years of education and it's still hard for me to find employment in my field of interest. wuddup with that. I'm surprised i made it thru school without ever keeping a planner/ calendar. i almost never turned in anything late. almost never.. may not have been quality.. but least its not late


dangit.. u ever lose a thought, cuz u get distracted by something else, and then u get distracted again and lose 2 thoughts?


how come there's so many different types of cereals? i think I'm becoming lacktoes-intolerate.. lactose intolerant.. it sucks liking foods ur not supposed to have.


I've been having stomach pains again.. its been at least 3 weeks now. they aren't super bad, and come and go. i almost forgot i got 2 doctor appointments today and then another tomorrow. i really don't like going to the doctors. i wish u could jus see what doctor who's good and cheap. and he's like ur pediatrician who's also a good therapist.

why do dogs pant with their tongues and cats don't? why do cats clean themselves and dogs don't? what if there was a dog cat hybrid. hmm.. i think a monkey would be a fun pet. id have sword battles with him all daay

i don't like feeling helpless. like knowing there's nothing i can do. powerless. things are out of my control. so u just wait, pray and keep praying. 

what's more painful? the pain of loss or the pain of knowing you're responsible for hurting someone else? i wish i didnt have the ability to hurt others. 

have you ever seen something so destroyed and broken. and yet an act of forgiveness and love somehow overlooks the hardship of the pass?
how come I'm the only person i know who still blogs really long entries that no one reads. do i jus have an overwhelming amount of useless thoughts? Do i process too much? how do other people record their thoughts?

what does ur inner voice sound like? it'd be interesting to study why people talk to themselves sometimes. i mean i don't really talk to myself in a conversation, but don't we all have a self talk? like, ah man ur so stupid! man what were u thinking?! do u think introverted people are more prone to talk to themselves since they bottle up their thoughts more?


ever wonder if there's jus one soul mate type of thing out there for u. i used to believe in God having just the "one" all planned out for you. Especially since i'm a calvinist that strongly believes in God's sovereignty, foreknowledge, and predestination. Like God still orchestrates and leads you towards meeting certain people. but is there really jus a "one" for everyone? A good argument against it is, what if someone else marries your one? then what, ur stuck and u take someone else's one. what if u do marry the one, and they he/she passes away. then what? don't marry again? or is the second spouse not the one?


one thing i don't get is that.. can someone who gets divorced still remarry? 


 “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery." -Luke 16:18


"For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him. So then, if she has sexual relations with another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress if she marries another man." -Romans 7:2-3


i mean those verses seem straight forward. unless they die, the bible says u shouldn't. but like what if u got married to young, or wasn't even a believer at the time. I mean, i see good reasons of why some people should get divorced even when it's not catergorized under adultery, unfaithfulness, unbeliever wants a divorce with a believer. i still remain neutral on the topic about remarriage since.. if u do get divorced jus because of contempt, then are u supposed to just stay single?


i think I'm afraid of commitment. i mean.. i can even commit to small things. like say someone says are you free March 12th to go do or help them with something. i mean, that's so far away. and even planning trips, it's hard to lock in commitments when variables are subject to change. then u think about marriage and u think, am i sure this is the one i want to spend the rest of my life with? i think, when u realize u have a very difficult time living without someone, that's how u know u really care about them. meh thats jus me.


I've come across a few ppl recently in life. u ever ask someone what they wanna do or get to know what someone does for work? there are some common jobs/ majors people go for. but every now and then u come across someone who has different/ unique aspirations. like i admire ppl who wanna become missionaries. or people who wanna invest there life into helping those less fortunate. i realized "work" isn't just about trying to survive and make a living.

if we spend 40 hours a week or basically a bulk of time in our life working, shouldn't it be for the good of others as well? I met a guy at church and he was telling me how he does some sort of construction with pillars, floors and ceilings. I wasn't too interested. but then he said, "I probably woulda quit already, but i wanted to be intentional about reaching the people i work with." And that made me take a step back because sometimes we think ministry is jus within the church, and talking about God is something only pastors/missionaries do. but this guy was passionate about reaching out to the guys he found himself surrounded with.


The guest speaker at church hit me with a strong sermon i didn't expect to hear. i guess sometimes we zone out a lot during sermons cuz it's jus not that piercing, or maybe we jus grow numb. but anyways, this dude talked about how worship is sacrifice. like.. obedience to God usually means suffering and sacrifice. in the old testament, people would honor God by leaving sacrifices. the best of what they had in tithes and offerings. and i think those that really did revere God were glad to give their best. they we're thankful for what God had blessed them with. It's a reminder to be a good steward of what we have. We don't even own ourselves, and therefore we should honor God with how we live.


Then the pastor said something about how Abraham was called to sacrifice his son isaac. And i still find myself a little stumped with why exactly God called him to sacrifice his son. but we get the imagery of how Abraham trusted God so much that he would lay down the most important thing to him. and then the typology that foreshadows how much God loves us that he would sacrifice his son. Sometimes i wonder why we call God the Father and the Son. like.. if there's no mom, then when is that the picture God gives us? Is it cuz Jesus became a human, and was born into humanity? i dunno, i confused, I'm like half awake so I'm jus rambling


if God were to not do anything else in our lives, He still has already done more than enough. sometimes i forget that it's not about the feelings. i mean we shouldn't throw the baby out with the bath water, but i need to be reminded that i shouldn't jus live for God when it's convenient and when i feel like it. my teacher always said, "don't throw the baby out with the bathwater." lol.. my other teacher would always say, "You can bet the farm on it!" or "you can take that to the bank!" lol.

God please help me to be happy even if things aren't the way i'd want them to be. help me to make u my joy all the time. 

would u rather verbally say everything you think in ur head, or never be able to talk again?

i cant tell if im above or below the average person in social skills. 

ever feel perfectly fine, and then someone comes up and says u look tired, .. and ur not. which basically means they think u kinda look like crap lol

i hate when i accidentally communicate something through nonverbal gestures, and it gets interpreted completely wrong. 

i think its strange when people confess they had a complete opposite impression of you when they first met u.. i once heard this guy tell another guy, "when i first met you, i didn't really like you. i dunno what it was about you. i thought u were all stuck up." i was like.. O_o" did u really jus say that.. thats kinda messed up 

what if u had super vision to see through everything, but then u jus end up seeing dark space. what if u had the ability to teleport but had no control of where u teleported to? or u could only teleport 15 inches in front of u. what if u could freeze time, but every time u froze time it lasted 2 years. u could make fire come out of ur hands, wouldn't u burn urself? these are the things that i think about all day and it drives me nuts.

ok.. am i the only one who really thought if they focused and concentrated hard enough they could shoot an energy blast out of their hands.. like u ask God, just once lemme energy blast through this wall.. and then u think.. no i better ask for at least 5 times so i can show it off again if it really does happen… no? oh yeah me neither.


Isn't it weird how one day you can be so convicted about wanting to give God your all. And then the next day you find yourself back in the same selfish lifestyle. Like.. you'll wanna give God your heart, your soul, and make God your everything, u wanna center your life around him, u wanna jus spend all day worshiping him, and soaking up his love. you wanna be close and intimate. u wanna devote your life, and every action for his glory. You wanna be purposeful about genuinely loving others. 

And then like 2 hours later you find yourself almost numb to those things you jus said you wanted to commit to. why can't i hold myself to my convictions? maybe it's because we know that being obedient to God also comes with a sense of suffering and sacrifice. we realize that we hafta die to ourselves, and seek God even when we don't feel like it. Perhaps i lack the discipline, support and accountability.

wouldja prefer to date some random cool fun person u just met, or date a best friend uve known for years?


so 4-5 guys go outside church. and i was like, why is everyone leaving. and then some guy said, oh they all smoke.. and they were all smoking this electric cigarette thingy. and then i asked one guy about it, and he said they come in all sorts of flavors, like fruity ones and even bacon flavor. never seen them before. i dont drink or smoke, but sometimes u kinda wonder why so many ppl are addicted..

i noticed this only in hawaii. but there's like little gangs of teenage boys all over the place who are playing with this weird ball thingy connected to a stick holder thing. and they all jus go around trying to land the ball on the stick. and I'm like.. seriously? those things are like from the 60's before yo-yos. it's like seeing ppl play with pogs or on rollerblades. 

what does ESPN stand for? I'm too lazy to google

would u rather be really really good at one thing.. or be well balanced and have decent knowledge and skill at many things?

how exactly do u feel apathetic. like isn't that not feeling any particular emotion. if u could never experience or feel one specific emotion would you choose to not feel that emotion? 


one thing has kinda been bothering me a little as i get older. when i was young like 6-9th grade.. when u wanted to talk to someone, u'd call them up jus to talk. now days it's all text. i mean.. yeah face to face can be a little awkward at times, but like.. have we lost the ability to communicate on the phone? i called up my old roommate and we end up talking for 90 mins. some people are jus really easy to talk to.  u ever find urself in a conversation, but u really have nothing to add.. and then the other person kinda stops talking too? and like.. one of u tries to talk jus to fill the silence?  i jus realized that i blog so much because i have no one to throw my random thoughts at..


oh! one movie i kinda wanna see is this movie called "Her" with Joaquin Phoenix. dang.. phoenix is such a cool last name. anyways.. the movie is about this guy who falls in love with this personalized computer thing that talks to him. it makes u wonder what it'd be like to be in a relationship with someone u could never see, touch or hold. but like, the emotional intimacy is so close that it keeps the relationship strong. it almost seems like a long distance thing.


I started watching a tv series "sherlock holmes." But it's a modern day version. it's pretty genius and witty. 

im chursty


i need a gym buddy. i need a guy gym buddy. cuz girls jus do elliptical.


im really craving a sausage mcmuffin and maybe like a really good oreo cookie shake.. I have a weird craving for good pizza too


one thing i noticed about hawaii people is that they don't seem as smart as cali people. like.. cali people seem to have better class and dress nicer. hawaii people walk around bare-feet, talk super pidgin and wear more casual clothes. but hawaii ppl seem nicer and funnier. i like how im no longer that short since everyone is asian in hawaii.


sometimes u don't realize how much uve miss something until you experience it again


do u think "lol" has lost it's kick? i use lol too much. but really, we usually aren't laughing out loud are we.. HAHAHA seems more appropriate when something is really funny. Also, don't u think we all use "cool, awesome, amazing" too much? i could use a better vocabulary, or maybe ill jus make up my own words. fancredible! phenomenular! ya maybe not. I realized that i need to blog out my thoughts cuz i don't like forgetting my thoughts. but then u hafta consider the readers perspective.. like i heard ur supposed to blog a lot, keep it extremely short, and have a good visual. but then, i guess my blog is more of a personal journal. it's like.. u wanna present something easy for ur audience, but then u can't be entirely real since there are things u jus can't blog about ya' kno?


i like pajamas

i remember a few years back when id intentionally set aside Jesus time before i went to sleep. usually falling asleep to worship music. i think we drift from God becuz we simply don't prioritize spending time with Him daily. perhaps we seek idols to fill or entertain us. when we're feeling empty or even apathetic, maybe it's a sign we're to find our joy in being with God. At any moment we can know we're spending time with God, even if we don't necessarily feel anything. by faith we know our God loves us like crazy. and i think He finds pleasure in His children jus sitting and receiving His love. i think worship music is definitely a big help towards focusing on seeking Him. its definitely something i need to practice more. I'm glad our God is a loving, intimate, personal God who gives us his undivided attention. so much patience, so much grace. 


Ever wish u could live in video games like wreck it ralph. i really wanna live in final fantasy for jus a little bit. like.. wouldn't it be fun if u could see ur health bar, go to a shop, buy a new big sword, change the color of ur hair, recruit some friends to come help u on a new quest, then go fight a giant monster, drink a potion, cast a fire spell or something, summon a monster friend to help u, and then when u win u get a theme song, and the bad guys turn into coins!


i bought a bunch of animated cartoon/ dinsey movie dvds. animated simple movies are so good for the soul sometimes. like.. simple stories jus ease my mind. i can't believe how popular frozen was. i mean it was good with some catchy songs.. but is it really the best disney movie ever? no i don't think so. maybe I'm jus critical on movies. i still liked it, but there were some parts i found that it was lacking.

did u know lion king wasn't even the main disney project they were working on at the time. i think poka-hontas. lol i can't spell. pochontas? pochontas was the primary movie their efforts were join too, and then lion king ended up being way better. hmm.. ever kinda know a lot about something.. but then u don't wanna come off sounding like a know-at-all? i feel like sometimes i do know something, but then i feel like a stuck up jerk when i correct/ clarify something. perhaps we use knowledge to impress people, or perhaps i jus over analyze my behavior too much

if u got nothing nice to say, dont say it

i made 6 utube videos in under a month. that's kinda a record for me. no wonder my computer is so slow meow, my next one is gonna be so good, im jus too lazy to work on it


oh now i remember what i wanted to blog about!! i notice that I've been a little impatient with some people. u ever have something you're focused on.. maybe like putting together a tv.. and ur like super frustrated cuz there's all these cables and its not working with the cable box, and then ur mom floods u with 7 questions and comments in like a minute.. and ur already frustrated.. but then u take ur anger out on them.. like u jus find urself short tempered. and then i find myself being really sarcastic. she was trying to help and was like do u need me to press a button, and i was like "yeah press all of them." and i was jus being a mean son. i think i got perfectionism from my dad, and u kinda expect certain things from people, like u project how u would want them to do something with your kind of quality and when they don't, u get hot and bothered. 


i feel bad. then the other day my mom was like do u wanna hear about cara? (this girl i used to know in elementary school) i was like no.. and she was like she's in the newspaper, and i was like, "i don't care!" and then she was like, "well her mom is diagnosed with cancer.." and i felt horrible.. sometimes we get angry with those closest to us, usually family. and sometimes friends too. like.. the ada day i was asking a friend for some help and advice, and then he comes out just attacking and belittling/undermining / dismissing what i was coming to him with. and then i got kinda annoyed and i said things i probably shouldn't have said. it's easy to sin in our anger/ rage. then i like instantly regret my unkind words. maybe it's why i hesitate to speak a lot, because half the time they aren't very useful or constructive comments.


i wanna become a better listener. church is like the best place to practice ur social skills. like it's easy to pay attention to people u get along with and ppl u already have a p tight relationship with. but then.. how well do we listen to those that we aren't too familiar with? i had a conversation with two guys at different times, and the whole time i was jus looking around for someone and completely distracted. like sometimes we get so preoccupied with what we want or who we rather talk to, that we don't realize that we aren't giving much respect to listen to the person talking in front of us. i want to become a better listener, and try to not end up talking about myself only for 5mins straight.


ideas are like farts. sometimes they stink. lol


have you ever met someone, or like, briefly kinda met someone. and u already sense that u connect well with them? like sometimes u feel like use known them ur whole life? i guess we all connect well with certain people. i dunno


i spent like 30+ minutes trying to program my garage door opener to my car mirror button thingy. and i read the manual like 100 times and i still don't get how it works. like my garage door is a rotating code thing with different buttons, and i googled instructions and everything, and tried it in so many different ways. it jus pissed me off. sometimes technology is jus too complicated for my simple mind. it's frustrating when a simple task takes ya way longer than it should and u jus can't get anything done.

I can't tell if i'm overly serious or overly playful. sometimes u find urself really not caring about anything in the world, u jus wanna be happy and relax. then there's this other part of me telling me to get my act together, clean up, organize, shave and put on adult pants. do u think as we grow older, we slowly kill off the joys of being a kid? remember when we were young? remember the things that were most important to us? i honestly don't wanna grow up if it means losing my sense of happiness.

1Cor. 13, talks about how we can do all sorts of good things in life, but we can still completely miss the main point. the main point is having love in our life. Loving God, and loving others. And in order to do those we need to receive love. Sometimes it's hard to feel loved. i think love is correlated to happiness. living a virtuous life in healthy relationships is definitely a causation of happiness. 

there really isn't anything more important than honoring God and caring for the people around you.


I remember what i was supposed to do. i forgot my laundry in the washer last night.. gahh.. like if it's in the dryer it's not so bad, but in the washer.. gahhh


how come we have cute and cuddly animal dolls when in fact in life these animals are p dangerous. like we have little fuzzy bears. but like grizzly bears could tear ur head off in real life. we have elephants, and whales, and jus weird dolls. and then in real life these things are ginormous and i wouldn't wanna hug one. i had a friend said his favorite animal is a snake. and i was like.. what??! really?! sorry but thats jus gross. did u know when people have a great fear towards something, there's something that makes us fear it as well. like, for instance I've never really been too close to a snake, but when u see people on tv freak out, we learn that snakes are scary, and adopt a weird phobia towards them even if we don't even interact with em much. yeah true story bro

i watched a movie called "the departed" which is about a dirty cop, and an undercover cop. leonardo dicaprio, matt damon, mark wahlberg, jack nicholson. then i also watched some of "the kingdom." u ever watch great movies u know u liked, but then years go by and u basically completely forget what happens so ur forced to watch it again? ya u know what i mean

if u could be a famous actor/ actress would u want to be? i think it'd be cooler to be in a rock band, neh.. professional sport.. or maybe a movie producer. what's the difference between a producer and director? i think it'd be fun to produce movies or short films even. sometimes jus workin with video cameras can be fun. 

i think its cool how cameras basically record past events and capture time. isnt it weird when u see like young pictures of ur parents? it's like u travel back in time when their world was different. and then u see pictures of urself when u were a baby, and u think whoa.. i was really little lol

which is ur favorite ninja turtle? growing up i always liked donatello cuz he had a cool bow staff and was smart. ninja turtles basically died for like a decade and then magically came back with tv shows etc. ever notice how leonardo and raphel never cut anyone with their weapons cuz they can't show blood in cartoons. didja kno beer commercials can't show anyone actually drinking the beer? ya true story

i realized that i never like the process of having to go shower.. but once I'm in the warm water i never wanna get out. 

if u could be perfect at jus one thing, like skill wise. what would it be? do u see why my head never shuts off.. i hate when u wanna stop thinking about something but u cant.. and then u can never sleep. so u jus toss and turn for hours. and wake up with dark bags under ur eyes.. and then someone in the morning loads u with 20 questions and u snap cuz ur cranky. 


i miss a few friends that left hawaii. they were like dragon balls floating in the sky after summoning Shenron the dragon and then BAM!! all of them dispersed all around the globe. ur main high school friends who really get u. they jus know u the best. and u got all these inside jokes, movie references and one line quotes that only they would understand. even when ur lame, they look past it and jus tease u a little. like my velcro shoes.. i mean.. they we're on sale.. common. 


God is trying to tell me to make new friends. and I'm like.. well God where..? where do u want me to work.. and maybe I'm jus a little impatient. but i really hope the job i find is somewhere i can stay long term. i don't like hopping from one place to the next in terms of church.


i used to think u could buy babies at the grocery store. 

when u think about objects and stuff. like who in the world came up with the name for it? like who was the first person to name a table a table?


oh i remember what else i wanted to blog about. so visiting one of my old churches, i realized how many things have changed.. like yeah leadership stuff, but like.. all the people i used to be close with kinda went their own separate ways. i guess thats somewhat expected. there were a few familiar faces, and all the young high school students grew up and now they're leaders. it's strange to see people change. but like as much as people change, there's still good chunk of them that hasn't changed..

oh yeah, i wanted to also talk about how dependent we are on technology. There was this bonus feature that was about how technology changed how relationships are initiated and maintained. over 2 decades ago there wasn't cellphones or computers to communicate. now we're much more accessible to communicate through technology. imagine the old days when u had to write letter. i remember when i was young there was no internet. and the first apple computer had no color. can u imagine our grandparents generation jus listening to the radio and not even havin tvs?

another thing is medicine now days too. there's like pills for everything. can u imagine days before the car or airplanes? now we can talk face to face through our phones.. jus kinda crazy how much more advanced technology got in our lifetime. look at how we went from records, to tapes, to cds, to mp3s, and now our phones hold all our music. i remember the first nintendo. everything is evolving so quickly. technology can help or also deteriorate our lives. it makes me wonder how much more advanced technology can get.

what if we could back up all our memories on like an external hard drive? It'd be cool to be able to replay dreams and memories. Or restore our memories if we forgot.


i got 3 doctor appointments in the next 2 days.. -_-


there's this really weird sound outside. and it's been moaning. i finally figured out it's a cat.. I'm gonna go investigate real quick! brb! yeah it was a cat.. cuz i know u were really wondering

i don't like proof reading my blogs. all my typos really annoy me tho