2014 Dive Winter Retreat

Hello. i just got back from a winter retreat with living hope church. the theme was on deeper discipleship. i definitely feel like i learned a lot. there's almost too much to process. but i feel like God was able to restore my health back in many ways. And perhaps being surrounded by christian brothers and sisters at church helped bring healing. anyways here's what i learned..

God's Grace is Bigger than Our Sin
- see your sin and our need for grace. The samaritan woman received forgiveness and then out of joy she was motivated to witness to others what God did for her. i hate my sin. it's ugly. but God can heal the pains of our sin, guilt and shame. he welcomes us back into fellowship. God's grace is so good.

Experience God's Love
- We know God loves us. but how often to we really just receive and sit in his powerful love? Sometimes God's love is like the bright sunshine, it warms your whole body. sometimes it feels God can be distant like tiny star. and maybe that stretches our faith to seek him even during a dark night. During some free time i sat under the clear sky and just stared at the stars. When's the last time you sat to stare at the stars? It really makes you feel small, and yet still deeply loved and cherished by God. God created the universe and all of life, and then we get bogged down with tiny little issues. Arn't we created to know and love God? idk, i guess it was jus really peaceful being out under the stars. There's so much to be gained from just simply being present with God.

Selfishness
- I'm selfish. i didn't really realize how selfish i am. most of my thoughts and prayers are centered around taking care of myself and what i want. God calls us to die to ourselves and to pick up our cross and follow him. we must decrease so he can increase. the gospel is the best way to deflate selfishness

#RealTalk
- i realize that i care a little too much with what others think of me. there's a healthy amount of considering how we're perceived or appear. but maybe i try too hard to impress or get ppl to like me. i guess we all have a need to be acknowledged with some attention and acceptance among our peers. i think u know you got a solid group of friends when you can truly just be yourself and authentic. you can be comfortable with joking around and being silly. instead of putting on a facade to try and fit in.  i like when friendships develop organically, but as i grow older, i see that it really does take intention to reach out. friends who can be accountable to you and you can be vulnerable with are keepers, don't take em for granted

Identity in Christ
- Jesus redefines our identity. I used to put my identity in ministry, things i did, and maybe in how i saw myself within a group of friends. but sometimes friendships fade and we leave a job/school or something. So if we placed a big chunk of our identity in those things and then lose them, we also lose a sense of our identity. rather our identity is in our faith to God. Phil. 3:7-9 keeps sticking out to me. everything else is garbage and nothing compared to the surpassing knowledge of Jesus. There really isn't anything more important than our alligance to God.

Devotion

- Sometimes i fall into a convenient Christianity. i felt convicted because i can be really lazy and only turn to God on my terms. I only do christian things when it's in my benefit. i pray only when i need something. but when it comes to evangelizing, suffering or being obedient, i can be very half hearted. i pray for a deeper boldness in sharing my faith and actually living it out daily. Our walk with God isn't jus a 1 deal commitment, it's about centering our lifestyle around what we confess to believe.

A Work in Progress
- three people gave their testimony at retreat. it made me ponder and reflect on how i could see God's fingerprints in my life as I grew up. i saw how God brought certain people in my life in certain seasons to strengthen my faith. sometimes i feel like I'm 15. but God is calling me to adulthood. i guess responsible adults are supposed to work full time and not spend their entire day playing video games and watching anime. God is calling me to rank the order of goods correctly. ma-chur-ity

Love of the Church
- The greatest commandments are to love God and love others. Really when u think about it, we can only really love when we first receive love. We love because God first loved us, and that gives us the ability to love others. God really loves me a lot. it's so simple, yet so profound. God's love is what transforms us. Receive his love! This love is what motivates our passion to love him back. We always hear about God's love, but during this retreat i think i also experienced the love of the church body. Everyone was so warm, open and welcoming. i can't imagine how the perfect fellowship in heaven with God and the church will be like. must be pretty darn epic

Confidence and Courage
- God reminded me that i need to be a leader to others. God echoed that he will be my strength, that he will use me, and that he wants me to take the initiative to minister to others and lead people to him. God blesses us to be a blessing. We're no good to others when we're dry and empty. God reminded me to first be filled with him so i can approach and share the gospel to others.

It's All About Relationships
- this past year i learned that loneliness really sucks. lots of pain. if u know me well enough, u know that i struggled with moods of depression throughout this year. but i finally feel like i was able to overcome it in this past month. screw antidepressants. i jus needed God and community. it's easy to withdraw from community and isolate yourself from people. sometimes people are hard to deal with. but we're not meant to do christianity alone. we need to be plugged in and invested into the church body in order to flourish and thrive. relational health brings emotional, and spiritual health. we all need healthy friendships in order to grow. it's all about relationships.

Spiritual Food
- I'm starting to rekindling a desire for God's word. like u actually feel like reading it, even if it's not always an easy read. I'm resolved to start the yearly reading plan for 2014. it covers the OT once and the NT twice. I really want to focus on learning more OT books since i find it harder to read through. how can we meditate on God's word when we dont even read it? hopefully one year from now i'll have read the bible at least once through. it's strange how God can give you a desire to read the bible. Sometimes really jus meditating on scripture can bring so much life into our starving souls. sometimes jus one bible verse can bring so much sanctification. its so easy to put off QT devotions, but small steps daily will ultimately bring you very far. houses require building one brick at a time. someone pls keep me accountable to my goals so i don't slack off like a lazy butt!

Faith in God's Grace
- I need to let go of things i can't control. in faith i'll hafta trust that God is able and sovereign to work everything out. sometimes i still have a hard time forgiving myself. i repent, and i know God gives grace. but sometimes it's so hard to forgive myself when i've caused so much pain. God says that holding on to all this unhealthy guilt does me no good. i simply need to surrender my pains of the past and anxieties of the future. God can heal our wounds, God can restore our relationships, God's spirit can give us freedom and restoration.