Things to Remember

Sometimes i forget who i am. I forget where im going. Life is confusing when you dont remember who you are. Usually this is correlated with losing your sense of purpose. Sometimes i find myself really unhappy. I find myself angry for not being who i want to be. I allow too many thoughts and emotions to overwhelm me and i just freak out over something small. Future chris if you ever start freaking out again, just read this blog and remember who you are.

The Sanctification Gap
There's this thing called the sanctification gap. "Sanctification" referring to growing in our walk with Christ. Most of the time i don't see myself growing closer to God. Some days it's challenging to just spend 2 quiet minutes with God. But anyways.. The sanctification gap. Is this big gap between who we ought to be and who we're called to be. It's the best we could be. no not perfect. but it's the person that achieves his or her goals and lives in righteousness. It's the biblical christian. The christian that denies sin, and comes in full repentance receiving grace. I see that based chris, and visualize a better and stronger, happier chris. But then i also see myself for who i am and where i am. And i'm not who I want to be. Does that make any sense? It's basically a struggle between who we want to be and who we really are.

Who am I?
I am a child of God and he loves me. I keep forgetting this. And i know it sounds cliche, but it's true. I must remember that i belong to Him and that regardless of my mistakes in the past, or how well i'm doing, God still intimately loves me unconditionally, because i'm simply his. a friend had to remind me a few days ago, "Put God first." As simple and as cliche as that sounds, it's absolutely true. I asked myself, if i had to narrow down jus one thing i'd like to change in my life, it'd hafta be drawing closer to God in a more intimate relationship with Him. One way is by finding our ultimate rest and satisfaction in Him, another way is by trusting him and receiving from him. God first, everything else can take a back seat.

Where am I going?
Sometimes i feel so lost. Like you ever have a series of days where you don't really know what you're doing or what you're moving closer to? What are my goals and ambitions? Where am i headed? Is my present building towards the right future? Who am i becoming? The answer is, sometimes it's okay to not know. The main thing is to trust God. Moses definitely woulda loved a map in the desert. And yes it took him longer to arrive at the promise land, but God was still faithful and provided for his people.

How am i doing?
What the heck chris..? Are u really asking urself this? I mean.. a better question could be.. How am i being? Like holistically.. how's my emotional, mental, relational, physical, spiritual health?. yeah.. not so great.. but it's important to identify that hey i need to start taking better care of myself. That starts with loving myself enough to take initiative towards positive things. For awhil i lost my purpose n drive in life... my passion. And then i was reminded that without love, we're nothing, life is meaningless if we don't choose to love and share the love of Christ with the people we meet. God calls us to minister and love everyone, and in order to do that, we must fill ourselves with God's love. lol i say cheesy stuff too much

Work?
I get tired of doing the same thing for so long. You ever like a song, and then just find urself numb to it? Or even your favorite food becomes mehh after awhile. I want a job that has purpose and meaning to it. Otherwise it feels very fulfilling and useless. It's no longer "What do you wanna be when u grow up." It's now, "Wake up! You're an adult already, what are u doing with you're life!" i feel a lot of pressure to go towards ministry, but the fact is that it's simply not enough to survive on. So then i think of counseling, but that may also require more school, which is a no no. So then i think teaching.. and working with kids. And that'll probably be a decent option i guess. Honestly, at this point, i really do jus need the money. Life is jus too friggen expensive. I try not to think about it, but avoiding it doesnt help either. I need to learn that it' okay if I don't immediately find my dream job. but hopefully i can move in the right direction. Having many opportunities and options is a little scary because i'm afraid of moving in the wrong direction. But again it comes down to trusting God and small steps in the right direction. And having too may options isn't a bad place to be.

As Heisenberg would say, "Apply yourself." There's tons of opportunities and new experiences to gain.step out of ur comfort zone chris..  I dont need to have everything figured out. It's good to step out of ur normal day and observe how u've been living. And i realized that im way too serious with trying to make everything perfect. And then i end up worrying way too much. I jus need to go where the waves take me and enjoy the ride. life is like a box of chocolates.. and chocolate is good!


Friendships
I'm at a weird age where old friends are off doing their own thing and busy with their own lives. I'm not used to losing close friends. I don't get to see or talk to them as often as when i was young. i miss being a kid. now im jus a big nerd. I guess its been a little more of a challenge to make new friends lately, like solid friendships jus aren't that common. but i think its obvious when u do run into someone u know is a keeper. Also, perhaps God is teaching me to be more independent. I definitely need to learn to be more responsible on my own two feet. adulthood is jus smacking me in the face. why cant i jus play video games all day, why!?

The Bottom Line
The truth is that we often get so distracted we easily forget who we are. We lose touch with who God calls us to be, or we get discouraged that we're not who or where we think we should be. But God also reminds us that he is always sovereign in control. We don't need to have all the answers in front of us. But we can trust that God knows where we're headed. And that he works all things for our good. So.. stop worrying. Stop over reflecting. Put God first, get you're priorities straight and work at managing yourself. Draw strength from your rest in God, and trust that he'll move us in the right direction. And it's not always our destination or where we're going, but who we're becoming in the process. We can't lose ourselves. Remember that you are a child of God, and that he loves you simply because you're his.

"Hear, O Israel, The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children, talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. - Deut. 6:5-9

Remember