This past year i wanted to find more balance and peace. I wanted to grow in maturity and in inner strength to overcome obstacles. I wanted to become more responsible and independent. And I think i did grow in these things. Sometimes progress is never simply moving forward. Sometimes we really need to face ourselves and ask ourselves who we are and who we want to be. I feel like i often have to confront myself and challenge myself to be better. I sometimes wrestle with pessimism and perfectionism which can be very self-defeating. I'm either angry at myself, too critical on my mistakes or too lazy to try and change. But it's in the process of overcoming our internal battles, our pain and times of discouragement that makes us stronger. Ultimately it's finding our identity in Christ that really gives us the power to change. Overall I think the two things i really learned this year were self-love and self-confidence, and i guess they're very interrelated. These are definitely areas that i still need to work on.
Making new year's resolutions is easy. Keeping them is the hard part.
Learning about an internal / external locus of control really helped me to change how I view things. I think i had more of an external locus of control, where outside variables and circumstances dictate our self-worth. Feeling like your efforts and choices don't matter can lead to helplessness. We look at our chaotic situation and feel stuck. An internal locus of control reminded me that there are a lot of things that are within my control to change, I just need to choose to do so. I feel like i gained a lot more confidence to pursue the things i want. What's holding you back from striving to be your best self?
There was a quote in "The Pursuit of Happiness" where the dad tells his son, "If you want something, you go get it, period." I think that applies to a lot of things. There shouldn't be anything that stops us from achieving what we want to do and who we want to be. Fight for what you want, fight for what's important to you, and don't let anything stand in your way, including yourself. In each of our own ways, we all pursue happiness somehow. We desire to be happy. But beyond happiness, I think we should strive for holiness and a right relationship with God. If we find happiness in this life, and neglect to worship God with our lives, then we're ultimately just living for ourselves. And i think it's very easy to fall into that if we aren't intentional with our faith.
We often struggle to change because we don't really want to. We just kind of want to. Sometimes we don't even really know what we want. This doesn't just apply to things we want to do or achieve, but it also applies to who we would like to become. In pursuing our best-self, we definitely need the motivation, the dedication and the hard work it takes. (These are things i often lack.) Without pursuing and striving towards something, in a way we stunt our personal growth. Sometimes we don't even know what we want, or can't vision who we'd like to become. When we aren't passionate about anything and dont know who we'd like to be, and what we'd like to do with our life, we'll usually start feeling lost, empty and unfulfilled.
I think have the vision, the potential and the means, but i feel like i lack the self-control and a will of intention. i try to push myself to do all the things i should do, but i notice that i can get pretty disappointed and upset at myself when i fail to accomplish my goals or make horrible decisions.
Have you ever admired someone do something extraordinary? Well of course you have! Maybe it involved playing music, dance, athleticism, or some other skill. I'm willing to bet they didn't jus wake up one day with talent. They've put thousands of hours and days of working on their craft. Achieving our goals takes persistence, time, hard work, courage, perseverance, sacrifice, patience, accountability, and a whole lot of discipline. Sometimes it's not even a skill, but a trait, a personality, or how someone holds them self.
We won't magically achieve our goals overnight. Being intentional with taking small steps in the right direction is the best way to see results in the long run. Long term goals seem to be the most challenging since there isn't always an immediate payout. I think short term goals are easier to measure, and are more realistic and achievable. Just setting a goal for a few weeks might be more successful than a whole year thing. nutrition and fitness goals don't need to be extreme, just doing something active is better than nothing.
Even if we don't achieve all our goals and expectations, i think it's good as long as we're making progress and at least trying to better ourselves. I think a role model, mentor, accountability partner, or just an encouraging friend can make a huge difference. this is usually why people (including myself) have a difficult time sticking to their goals.
I have a holistic approach to our health and happiness. Our spiritual, physical, emotional, mental, and relational health are all interrelated. As we get older, the better we need to take care of ourselves. I'd also add that I think our spiritual health seems to be the central core. We're so much weaker when we're not rooted and connected to Him. Spending time with God and finding rest in Him daily is what truly gives us the power to be our best. Apart from God we're just living for ourselves. And in terms of spirituality, beyond health and happiness, i need to grow in holiness. And i think the closer we get to God, the more our heart and lives will change.
Another aspect of health that I need to focus on is my finical health. I'm a huge idiot when it comes to money. It's so easy to spend. sooo easy, lol. And everything is just so darn expensive. I got to meet with a finical adviser and decided to start making investments. Without my parents providing for me i'd be drowning in debt. I often forget how fortunate I am. i definitely have to get more financially organized. stop spending! save money, save money, save money, and count your blessings.
I feel like sometimes we stand in our own way of becoming our best-self and reaching our true potential. Pursuing our best-self takes a lot of energy and sacrifice, but it's worth it. Even if we don't become our "best-self" we'll become a better-self. We can become anything we want to and achieve our dreams if we work at it.
I think i'm bit over analytical. maybe u can tell. it can be a strength and weakness. i admire those that are more carefree and loose, they just go with the flow and don't worry as much as i do. Constant reflection is not always a good thing, lol. They aren't concerned with what people might think of them, they simply embrace who they are. They aren't easily embarrassed, they don't hesitate to be relational, they don't apologize for being themselves and aren't shy to speak their thoughts. When i think about the games i like most, they're mostly about coming up with a strategy. Chess would be a good example because i learned that if there's no time limit, it's better to not rush and look for the best possible move out of your options. And i think that's why i hesitate to make quick decisions. I think we've all made dumb decisions that weren't the best, let go of the past, learn from it and move on, and try better next time. dwelling on all our mistakes doesn't do us any good.
In regards to indecisiveness, I usually need a lot of time to think. I've gone back and fourth on whether I should try to finish my second masters degree in marriage and family therapy or mental heath counseling. But i heard someone tell me, we don't always need to be 100% sure before making decisions. Eventually you just need to make a choice. And if you're 60-70% sure, you should just go with it. and so now i have a hard time just being 60-70% sure of things, lol. When we come to God in faith and in prayer, we can walk into a future of uncertainty without knowing all the details. Sometimes i get so confused. We have access to such a great God, and yet we rarely turn to Him for help.
Growing in self-confidence means killing our negative self-talk, killing our excuses and laziness. it means taking action and striving for what's meaningful to us. Nothing good comes out of a negative self-view and being overly critical on ourselves. If we don't believe in ourselves, we really won't accomplish much. Sometimes i literally just whisper to myself, "confidence, confidence, confidence" and force myself to go do whatever i'm avoiding. We won't change jus sitting in our comfort zone. Believing that you can achieve what you set out to is super powerful. When faced with a challenge, visualizing and expecting a successful positive outcome increases our ability to actualize it. I think that's called self-expectation.
"For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come." -Timothy 4:8
Self-help and natural formation have it's limits. In our human weakness, depravity and helplessness, we need to trust in God's grace. His love changes and motivates us. He has grace, love and forgiveness for us, and we simply need to receive and accept what he's given. Having a loving God, empowers us to love ourselves and others. it makes a world of difference. As much as we sin and screw up, God's grace is much greater. We just need to trust in Him.
And instead of focusing on how the world measures us, by achievement, appearance, authority, ability and affluence, we can simply be content and satisfied in our identity in Christ. By giving Him our hearts and surrendering our wills to his, we inherit a different type of wealth that isn't achieved through performance. We are loved and accepted just as we are. And i think that's more valuable then anything else. When God is our shepherd, and we're close to Him, we become content and satisfied. I constantly need to remind myself to put God first and to smash any idols that i put before Him. Decluttering and reducing the things that hinder or distract us will give us more availability to invest in the things that really matter most to us.
Even though i learned and grew this year, ive also had my setbacks, and ultimately whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I know what it's like to feel the burn from bad choices and missed opportunities. But i need to let go of that anger toward myself, learn from my mistakes and move forward. i'm hoping to make the best out of this next year, by living it out to the fullest. I don't want to settle for meritocracy, i want to choose to become the best I can be. This new year is a fresh start for everyone, so leave the past in the past.
I feel like there's so much room for improvement. It's hard to hone in on any one specific compartment. I think if i were to encapsulate my goals into one word it'd be discipline. Having the self-discipline to stick to my goals is really the key for me. If i have discipline, i can hit the gym instead of take a nap. If i have discipline I can say no to unhealthy foods and yes to healthy choices. If i have discipline I can save money and sleep early.
With self-discipline, i believe i can do what i want to do, and be who i want to be, even if i lack the motivation at times. If I don't commit and honor my resolves, i just become a lazy indulging sloth. Taking care of my health means sleeping earlier, eating better, less sugary drinks! exercising, going to church, reading more, being more organized and prepared with work, putting in the time and energy into school, saving my money, cleaning even when i dont want to, and being more present with God and more intentional with others. When we have a healthy soul care, we also have healthier relationships.
In conclusion, in order for me to flourish and grow in holistic health, i not only need to grow in self-love and self-confidence, but also in self-discipline. And to trust God in the process.
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