fire fall down!

Camp Mokule'ia
At first i honestly didnt think i would take anything from this experience. Even our pastor mentioned how he honestly wasnt that stoked for this camp. And during our camp fire the first night, we just ended up sharing what was on our minds. Everyone including myself had some sort of problem or concern. Something holding us back from completely surrendering. Our minds we're troubled, tired, and distracted. Our pastor threw out his entire message he prepared because he knew that everyone wasnt spiritually ready to receive God. People started to warm up, and we continued to worship. Our group was still disconnected. Some had a tough week, some had broken family relationships, some were sick, and spiritually tired. Justin went on to talk about how we need to work as a body. We need all our parts, or we'll be handicap. Becoming one body became our goal for the weekend. They wanted to keep it to a small size group, so we had about 35 people. We talked about how everyone was valuable, and how everyone was a part of the body. But how were we gonna work as a body? The key is that we need God to hold us all together. Then we got to stare at the night sky. I couldnt believe how beautiful all the stars were. Away from all the city lights n sounds, left us with the glittering stars and the sound of the ocean. Was nuts.

Saturday we had a guest speaker, who is a professor at pac-rim. He was a cool guy, but i didnt really take too much from what he talked about. He did teach me about how to do better devotions. How to take more out from what we read in the bible. He said to pray more than we read. Meditate on scripture, instead of trying to race through as much as possible. Each passage has one correct interpretation, but each passage has many applications. We need to constantly ask ourselves, how can i apply this to areas of my life? I also learned to meditate on bigger chunks of passages. We tend to focus on only one or two verses normally. He said to keep in mind what the author mentioned in stories before and after. After doing devotions on only Luke 10, I really saw what the speaker was saying. Take a smaller bite of scripture, but meditate on the huge context. Many stories connect to each other, and try to reapply the same message in different forms. When God wants to emphasize something, He repeats it over and over.

In Luke 10, all 3 stories had a common ground of being distracted. How workers of the harvest should travel light, not taking bags or sandals, or even greeting people on the road. Basically meaning, dont get caught up with other stuff, focus on the purpose. Missionaries need to stay focused on their mission. The next story was about the good samaritan. A priest and a levite were too busy with other things to help the man in need. The last story was about mary and martha, and how martha was too caught up in preparations, while mary sat and listened to Jesus. Often times, we get too caught up with stuff. Christ reminds us to always stay close to Him. He loves when we spend time with Him. We need to make it a point to constantly have God in our day, setting aside time for Him. We also cant forget to love on others. Caring for those who are hurt and need attention. We cant be swept by worldly distractions.

Everyone's highlight of camp was Saturday night's worship. We worshiped for 2+ hours. At first ppl got tired of worship, we were hoping that it would end soon, we were all super tired. But eventually everyone was able to surrender. We opened our protected hearts, we welcomed God, we let go of all the chains holding us back, we cried out for God to enter, we sought only Him. We craved and desired Him. People stood with their arms stretched high, others fell to the ground in tears. We had so much pain that we kept from God. God took complete control of our hearts and minds. We experienced God as one body. It was also really encouraging to see people pray for each other. We all sat down after, and began to share what God whispered to us. It seems God spoke to everyone's heart that night. We did a round of prayer, and then got to share what God was telling us. God's love jus shook the entire room. We were all in awe of Him. Then later we performed skits, n played games. And I stayed up super late playing card games, and jus talkin with ppl.

Sunday morning, 3ppl said they tried to wake me up for breakfast, but i dont remember that. I missed breakfast, and was the last to wake up. I was kinda bummed, cuz mokule'ia cooks super good food. And the beds were actually super comfortable too! They gave us clean sheets, blankets and everything. It was like living in a local kine hotel, with the beach right outside. Only bad thing was that a bug bit me on the leg, and it was kinda itchy, lol.. anyways the rest of the day we closed with worship, devos, prayer and sharing time. Later that night, God called me to go to pursuit. And it was super strengthening to jus see that i have a family there too. The speaker gave a message on excepting everyone to the body. Loving on them regardless.

One of my greatest highlights of camp was spending time with my friend's daughter. Her name is Angelic, shes 6 yrs old. Shes jus too precious, so adorable, so full laughter, and her smile would jus completely brightened up my day. She would cling to me, make me carry her around, we would play silly games, and we even got a cool handshake. lol, i saw her as the little sister i never had. She was jus a bundle of joy to be around.

Monday i bombed a test. had bible study that talked about gray areas. Then had leaders meeting, then took dean home. And he invited me in for chicken mcnuggets! He also gave me carrots n peanut butter, lol.. what an awesome dinner it was. We couldnt stop talking about God. I had all these questions, and we were looking up verses. Hes probably gonna be my accountability partner from now on. And we're gonna join our small bible studies to make a mega one.

Lately my mom has been facing some rough trials. She has a lot of emotional damage that really hit hard. She told me she was ready to go home, meaning back with God. Her arm was really causing her alot of pain, and she jus had so much attacking her. So i prayed for her, and we eventually calmed down. Realizing that God is all we need. Praying with confidence that God can heal anything. I really need to work on being a better son.

this entire week, my friend has been on my mind. I said something to her to try and build her up. I said something in the wrong way, and was supposed to be accountable for her. But i did a really bad job, and even ended up making her cry. I was so upset with myself. I didnt know what to do. I really need to be careful when being accountable for people. What i thought was leading her, was actually cutting her down. It really is hard sometimes. I know God has this situation covered, but its gonna take some time.

Even tho im growing so much closer to God, other areas of my life have been dwindling. I havnt been eating or sleeping right. I havnt been exercising, or spending enough time with friends. I havnt been there for my mom when she most needs me. Havnt been spending any time with my dad. Ive been slacking in school, and havnt been helping out at church. Im basically a mess right now. But i feel so strong, because i have God with me. I can tell God wants to build me up super strong. He keeps showing me how im supposed to lead one day. I need to find a way to focus completely on God, and yet improve on other areas of my life as well.

I really want to jus run off somewhere. Leaving with minimum supplies. And jus being away out from society. Being in nature. Relying solely on what God provides. Seeking God with everything, and away from life distractions. I want to be alone with God. I jus want to rest in God. And nothing else. Our God is perfect. He never makes a mistake. He is all that is good and holy. I never want to be separated from Him. I jus wanna spend a looong time where its jus me and God. Imagine how much we'd grow if all we breathed in was God. If all we ate was God. If all we slept on, was God. If all our hearts and minds were lead by God. If all we had was God.

I accidentally read some stuff on past revivals in the US. How much of an impact they had. How fast the word spread, How many people came to Christ, How the entire community changed. I want that same revival here in Hawaii. I want to see a change in our school. Im starting to get a better understanding of what that would look like. Im having more confidence, and more faith, that fire will fall down. I want to see an awakening in our state. That our islands would be the first state to start this movement. We Need God to come down and start that fire. We need, need, need Him. But we dont always want Him. People need to want this spirit. People need to want Jesus. We need forgiveness and healing over our land. We need our land to repent for running in the wrong direction, to come together as one body, to ask God to burn those chains holding us back. We need to fully surrender, giving up things of this world, and the sins we desire. We need a revival.

God you know our hearts. You know all our needs, all our desires, all our thoughts, all our fears, all our worries, and all our pains. Heal us Lord. Heal us. Never stop teaching us through your word. Bring new revelations and growth each day. Dont let us get caught up with other ppl and distractions. Keep our eyes fixed on you. God I want to see change in people's hearts. I want to see all praise go to you. Let us speak words of encouragement, and never speak curses. Keep our hearts pure, away from temptation. Help us to love you! We are too weak, we cant do it on our own. We need you God! Take my life, use it for your will. Do with me as you please. Guide me with each step i take. My mind is weak, my spirit is tired. Give me rest in you. Restore my spirit. Keep teaching me how to love others. Thank you for being with me God. I love u Lord, Amen