Fustration

My thoughts were all jumbled up jus a while ago. I was kinda upset, sad and confused. I dont really want to go into details, but lets jus say i have alot of emotions over a conflict. So first i took a nap, to rest off some of the pain, then went to the gym to get out any resentment, then finally went out to walk to my secret place to find rest. This amazing Christian woman saw me sitting down, and apparently she told me that this isnt jus my secret place. Tons of ppl come to take in the peaceful view. So while i got to play with her dog, we talked about life. It was really great to talk about personal things we're experiencing, and jus talk about God to some random person. I think God sent her to help reveal some things to me.

As i sat there on the grass, i realized again, that no matter what happens, God is still sovereign. God will still give us peace and strength even through the blizzards and tornadoes of life. I think she just reminded me how important it is to pray, and let God take control. Yes, these are things we hear over and over, but its been hard for me to actually apply living out what i learn.

In ministry we need to make sure we're doing things right. Yeah no church or ministry is perfect, but its still pivotal to examine areas we need to work on. If we think nothings wrong with our computer, then bugs and viruses will slow down our computer. But if we say hey, maybe we should make sure everything is working properly, that way we can fix any problems. If we dont carefully try to improve areas in which ministry lacks in, then no ones gonna see any problem, and eventually the computer will crash. Im not saying we should focus on the negatives, which can get in the way of ministry, but we should at least consider how we can solve any underlying problems. Avoiding a problem doesnt make it go away. Its super important to see where we're going, and how were doing that.

Im probably not making any sense.T he bottom line is that all we need Jesus. Jesus needs to be the core of our lives, relationships and ministry. Our main concern should be, What would Jesus do? How would Jesus do it? How do we become more like Jesus? How do we love like Jesus? We need to be as close to Christ as possible. We need to be one in His spirit, and live according to His will.

God im going through some rough trials. Ive been condemning myself, and getting in my own way of you. God all i want to do is live for you, but sometimes i have a really hard time. Help me to see clearly. Im so lost without you. God thank you for always being there. Help me to trust you more. And help me to love you more. Take over. Take it all. Im tired of trying to do things my way. Its not about me, its all about You. Everything is about You. I love you Lord, I want more of you, fill me up with your spirit. I surrender all to you. Thank you Lord. Amen.