Repentance

Today after service we had an epic meeting. Normally we all just pull our heads together, to debrief events, and plan for the upcoming. But today was different. Our youth pastor thought it was necessary to pause for a moment. He basically noticed that everyone is in a busy busy season. Some probably did feel like we were drifting from God, or at least not getting much closer. There was some emotional pain that some of us were experiencing. I dont find it appropriate to get into specifics, but one of our members was really suffering from his sins.

My friend stood up and started to share what had happened to him. He basically shared some sins that he fell into. I could tell that it really took a lot of courage to tell us of the things that he did. I can tell that his guilt was eating him from the inside. He felt miserable for his sins, and was strong enough to tell us specifically what happened. I was blown away by this, because very few Christians are willing to confess their deep sins to another. Our team then laid hands on him, as we began to pray for him.

Our youth pastor then expressed his thoughts, and love he had for the team. Its rare that i get to experience someone expressing their deep compassion. We arnt just a bunch of volunteers doing a youth ministry, we are a body, united in Christ. As Christians we need to have deeper conversations, that expand our outlook on life. We need to not give up meeting with each other, and encourage one another in love. We need to help clothe each other with the armor of God. Prepared, and ready to handle any situation.

This also reminded me that we're all just humans. We all have fallen into sin, and we all fall short. Sometimes we focus n rely too much on ministry and forget to grow in our own relationship with Christ. I was also reminded on how important it is to keep pressing toward God. And how important it is to have joy in the Lord. Christ is not an accessory. God is everything, and without Him we are nothing.

I've been going through a lot of spiritual ups and downs. Lately, there's just too many things on my mind, and i allowed them to consume my thoughts. I became first in my thoughts, and kinda pushed Christ on the side. I lost that extreme desire, and got lazy over devotions. I didn't spend enough time with God. I forgot how to wait in stillness. I forgot how to really pray to Him. I lost intimacy. I took a long break from reading His word, and did what I wanted to do. I gave into my flesh, and was tempted by the world. When it pours down crazy rain (like all this week), we need to carefully drive and slow down. When it rains, our windshields fogs up, we have a hard time seeing, and the roads get swamped with dangerous water. When life gets busy, we need to make sure we slow down and put in extra effort in our relationship with God, otherwise we might fall into a pot hole of water and crash.

Tonight i looked at a paper, which listed all my really evident encounters with God. And i noticed that they all pointed back to prayer. In my life, I encountered God the most, when i was in deep prayer. In many of these past times, i was in rough situations, and pleaded God for His healing. Today was just a huge reminder on how we need to continue to seek God.

Then you will call,
and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help,
and he will say: Here am I. (Isa 58:9)

But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.(Deut 4:29)
Another big thing i relearned is that we need to keep up with Repentance. We need to continue to meet up with other believers who will sharpen us. We need strict and consistent accountability. Now days we've become too lazy to keep up with accountability, but it definitely is a must. We need to confess our sins to each other, to help each other grow. But more importantly we need to confess our sins to God. So many salvation messages only preach to believe in God. But in Mark ch1, it says to Repent and Believe. Why would God forgive us of something we arnt even sorry for? Repentance is also part of sanctification, basically saying "Hey God im sorry and sick of my sin, I want nothing more to do with it. Forgive me Lord." We need to see our sins, and be specific in our repentance. Please check out these verses..

Seek the LORD while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.
Let the wicked forsake his way
and the evil man his thoughts.
Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon. (Isa 55:6-7)

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. (James 5:16)

Listening to John MacArthur while Mark was driving home one day, MacArthur pointed out Matt 18. Please go look at the chapter. Pastors and leaders often use Matt 18, saying "For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." They use that to say, hey God's presence is with us if two or tree of us are gathered together. The real meaning of the context is talking about confessing sins to each other. He even spoke of confessing our sins to the church. Sin is a big deal. Sin is man's greatest problem. And yet we try to hide our sins in shame, pretending as if they dont exist.

Heavenly Father, I pray for my friend who is recovering from many struggles. Lift him up from his guilt, and allow him to continue pressing towards you. Its quite easy for us to condemn ourselves, and each other for our mistakes, but i pray that you allow him to forgive himself, and that you would strengthen him through this trial. Lord I pray for my other friends in general. Give them comfort as they deal with a heavy load of stress n worry. Allow them to surrender their loads to you. For we know that in all things you work for the good of those who love you. God i pray for my family. Sometimes we all hide our pain, and our pain gets worst inside. Many are dealing with depression, because of frustrations. Grab their sorrows, and instill your rest upon their hearts. That they would seek you in all things.

Lord, help us to stay connected to the vine. You tell us produce fruit in keeping with repentance. You tell us over and over in the bible to Repent of our evil ways. So Lord, i repent for my sinful pride. I know that you're King above all, Ruler of all universes, Author of life, and yet i still try to write my own story, n do things my way. Continue to work in me Lord. Change my thoughts, change my heart, and change my sinful ways. Ive been slacking in my relationship with you, i've been selfish, and i lost some desire. Please continue to discipline me. Grow the Holy Spirit huge within me, so I can walk in your direction, and not mine. Im sick of my sins and my big headed ways. Your da boss, so remind me to do everything your way. Help me to be obedient, and stir up a greater passion for you. Teach me how to meditate and fall into deep prayer. God i need to be desperate for you. I can't even love you without your help. Take over, and have ur way with me. Thank you God for being our Perfect Lamb, and Perfect Shepherd. Help me to shepherd your people, and help me not to give up meeting with other believers. Open my eyes, ears and heart, and speak to me in whatever way you do. Open up my bad reception, so i can hear your voice clearer. Guide me, lead me, and conform me to your word. Im desperate for you God. Our world needs more of you, so help people to seek you and want more of you. Also help me to pray for others, help me to be broken and hurt over those who are in pain. You hear these cries Lord, and I thank you for being a God of comfort. Help us to see, that whatever we go through, you are still mighty and in charge. I want more and more of you. Continue to build up my admiration, gratitude, desire, and love for you. God, You are just so ridiculously crazy awesome! Continue to pour down your amazing love. Amen.