I just watched a movie called 50/50. It’s about a guy named Adam, who is dealing with cancer. This movie did a great job displaying the relational and emotional dynamics of someone who is possibly facing terminal cancer. Besides his own response to the cancer, it was interesting to see how those around him tried to cope with his situation. His girlfriend was more concerned about how hard it was for her and only pretended to care. She was the most unresponsive character because she didn’t want to deal with any of it and wasn't really there for him in his need. His mother seemed overly concerned and dramatic, which kind of pushed Adam away from even talking to her. His best friend tried to down play the circumstance by having fun and not taking it too seriously. The therapist in the movie seemed to approach Adam’s cancer the best by trying to draw out his thoughts and feelings. She was patient, understanding and reaffirming. Adam seemed indifferent, aloof and apathetic.. He couldn’t believe this was his reality. Adam seemed to withhold his emotions internally because he wasn't quite sure how to express his frustration.
This movie really hit a sensitive spot. Most people don’t like to bring up the topic of death. It can be a sad topic, but that doesn’t mean we should completely ignore the reality of it. This movie did a great job not only showing how much pain and hurt cancer brought to Adam, but also to his family and friends.
I asked my Dad yesterday, “What do you say to someone who has just lost a loved one?” He said, “There really isn’t anything you can say to make things better.” Most people usually give their condolences by saying that their “sorry for their lost.”
Last semester I took a pastoral care and counseling class. Our professor taught us that when someone has just gone through a traumatic experience, sometimes the best thing to do is to just be with them. Support them by mourning and grieving with them. If you didn’t know the person who pasted away, you could ask, “Tell me more about them. What were they like?” This allows one to reflect back on the good memories and qualities instead of the present and future heartache. Death can be a time to cherish and celebrate the life of an individual.
Our professor also taught us how important it is to listen and to reflect the same intensity. In 50/50, no one could reflect the same intensity that he was experiencing. Being able to describe one’s feelings accurate really helps one to feel that their understood. What seemed most helpful about the class was that a counselor’s goal isn’t to just give someone the quick answer fix that you would do in a given situation, but do guide them towards God and allow God to lead them to the right response. Genuine patience, compassion, and concern help one to feel that their situation and feelings are valid.
For the Christian death is seen in a different light. Yes, death is painful no matter how you see it. Death is the result of our world’s sin. However, the good and great news is that there is not only life through Christ, but there is eternal life with Christ. Death is not the end for the believer. Christ has conquered sin and death on the cross. There is victory, salvation and life in His name. In the completion of God’s kingdom of Heaven, there is no more pain, no more suffering, no more sorrow and no more sin. For the Christian there is peace because whether we live or die we have the assurance that we will be with Him.
This movie really hit a sensitive spot. Most people don’t like to bring up the topic of death. It can be a sad topic, but that doesn’t mean we should completely ignore the reality of it. This movie did a great job not only showing how much pain and hurt cancer brought to Adam, but also to his family and friends.
I asked my Dad yesterday, “What do you say to someone who has just lost a loved one?” He said, “There really isn’t anything you can say to make things better.” Most people usually give their condolences by saying that their “sorry for their lost.”
Last semester I took a pastoral care and counseling class. Our professor taught us that when someone has just gone through a traumatic experience, sometimes the best thing to do is to just be with them. Support them by mourning and grieving with them. If you didn’t know the person who pasted away, you could ask, “Tell me more about them. What were they like?” This allows one to reflect back on the good memories and qualities instead of the present and future heartache. Death can be a time to cherish and celebrate the life of an individual.
Our professor also taught us how important it is to listen and to reflect the same intensity. In 50/50, no one could reflect the same intensity that he was experiencing. Being able to describe one’s feelings accurate really helps one to feel that their understood. What seemed most helpful about the class was that a counselor’s goal isn’t to just give someone the quick answer fix that you would do in a given situation, but do guide them towards God and allow God to lead them to the right response. Genuine patience, compassion, and concern help one to feel that their situation and feelings are valid.
For the Christian death is seen in a different light. Yes, death is painful no matter how you see it. Death is the result of our world’s sin. However, the good and great news is that there is not only life through Christ, but there is eternal life with Christ. Death is not the end for the believer. Christ has conquered sin and death on the cross. There is victory, salvation and life in His name. In the completion of God’s kingdom of Heaven, there is no more pain, no more suffering, no more sorrow and no more sin. For the Christian there is peace because whether we live or die we have the assurance that we will be with Him.
1 comment:
Good article Chris!
Always, when I'm with someone who has some kind of tragedy or loss going on, I get a feeling similar to stage fright. I usually have the feeling it is mutual. Then I tell them something like, "I don't know what to say or do, but for what it's worth, I care."
Usually, they respond by saying something like, "Thank you, it's worth a lot." or "Thank you, that helps." or "Thank you, there's nothing better you could have said."
Quite often, that short discourse diffuses the "stage fright" and helps lead the conversation beyond the superficial.
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