A Hunger for Something to Satisfy

We all have this deep yearning to fill ourselves. Our attention span has gotten shorter. We find ourselves trying to distract ourselves with the internet or smart phone apps. We browse hundreds of channels hoping to find something entertaining. We find ourselves late at night searching sites like tumblr, facebook, youtube, or looking at things to buy. I think the internet has become a bigger problem and distraction in our generation. Hours and hours of staring at a computer. We close ourselves socially and spiritually, to be filled by the internet.

I hafta go to the dentist tomorrow and they don't really have wifi, so i'm already bummed that "i'll have nothing to do." (because i wanna watch "Big" lol.  im curious to how they're gonna rap the whole drama up). But perhaps fasting from technology allows one to become more alert to what's going on around us. Why do we feed off of the internet more than we feed off of God?

We pray "Give us today our daily bread," assuming that God's Word and Spirit sustains, fills and satisfy us. And instead, we feast on media, internet, games, or other activities. As Christians, are we really living Christ-centered lives? Or Christ over-as-a-side-dish lives? We fall into the hands of lust so often because we have perverted this need for close intimacy. Sin is a inadequate way of trying to satisfy an adequate need. What we fill ourselves with is what comes out. If we fall for counterfeit sources, we'll jus end up trying to gratify our desires through other means. And i think this builds up anxiety. A constant search for something to truly satisfy. Only God offers such rest, peace and joy.

We crave movies with action, romance, humor and suspense because most of the time we don't consider our lives as exciting. Once in awhile, i'll think, who can i text? who's on facebook chat? Who can i talk to? We long to connect with others. I find myself searching for something or someone to occupy myself. I remember my entire social life was comprised on who i talked on the phone with or who was on AIM. I even used to search random chatrooms just so i could talk to someone who would listen. And yet, God is always "online," always patiently waiting for us, and always completely attentive to us. 

Sometimes we fall in love with characters and stories because we enjoy the adventure and drama of these other worlds. Sometimes these fictional worlds capture us because we see characters overcome difficult challenges. We love to see redemption, and those with the will to fight for something good. We long to laugh at silly things because sometimes we lack our own creativity. We like to be updated with the latest news, musical artist, and new releases. Video games can be quite appealing because role playing games allow people to assume characters that interact inside a virtual world. At the very core of it all, we seek and desire pleasure. We are in a sense, hedonists. But as Christian hedonist, we need God to be our ultimate pleasure and satisfaction.

Sometimes i walk around my house thinking. What could i possibly do right now? I walk back and fourth. Flip channels. Check the fridge, wondering if i'm really hungry or just bored. Sometimes just going out of the house makes me feel more productive.I got to go to church and saw some old friends. I got lunch with my dad a few times already. I went swimming almost every other day. And i also got to play basketball with some guys a few times. But even recreation, exercise, and work can be seen as means of filling ourselves. We try to escape or distract.

I know this can all be misinterpreted in the wrong way. No, doing activities, watching tv, and surfing the web isn't necessary bad. However, sometimes it makes us numb to what's really important. We hafta be careful not to fall into debauchery. We focus so much on the physical world and that we become completely oblivious to the spiritual world. With blinded eyes and deaf ears we miss out on communing with God. Our heart is constantly trying to fill itself and distract ourselves from the silence. Even in silence our thoughts begin racing and wandering. We are in dire need of self-control and spiritual discipline.

Have you ever over eaten? Have you ever over slept? Sometimes we need to put limits on ourselves because it's not hard to indulge. I remember one of my friend's aunties was talkin about how she hadta stop watching kdramas, because she actually saw it becoming an idol. It would consume her time and mind. She felt like it interfered with her devotion to God. Our entire culture is immersed in filling ourselves. Malls and sales tempt us to buy more stuff that we don't need. Commercials, magazines and advertisements are trying to convince and sell us on buying their products.

My people have committed two sins:
They have forsaken me,
the spring of living water,
and have dug their own cisterns,
broken cisterns that cannot hold water.
-Jer. 2:13

We want to do something with our lives, and yet we keep our perspectives narrow due to temporary desires. Perhaps glorifying God isn't at the top of our list. We become self seeking in how we can make a name for ourselves. But at the very end of it all, what exactly are we living for? Sure we're all pursuing education for specific careers, so we can have lots of green paper in the bank. But i don't think that fulfills our purpose in life. Nor is just finding someone to marry, and having a comfortable home. What exactly are we to do with our lives?

After the dentist, my mom and i are goin to a funeral. Funerals kinda force you to think about life and death. What is it all for? What have we live for? What are we living for? and what will we live for? We take time for granted. When i'm old, i want to look back on my life and see that i spent my life living for Him by serving others. Living for anything else would just seem like a waste. Rather than asking, "What am i to do?" Perhaps a better question to ask is, "Who is the person God wants me to be?"

We all have specific callings to different "ministries." But as Christians our chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. We are created to worship. And i guess these can all sound cliche, but exactly how do we "live" for God? Perhaps it's by expanding His kingdom and sharing the gospel. Perhaps it involves displaying more love, joy, peace, patience, etc in our lives. Perhaps it's to grow closer into the likeness of Christ. There are a combination of things that we are called to do to bring God glory. We are stewards of this life that God has given us. We can choose to invest it towards eternal purposes or waste it on physical, temporal and selfish rewards. Practically and realistically, how can we live in a way that gives God the highest glory?

As Christians, how can we be faithful and practice holiness? Our hearts need to be changed by the living God. We need to strengthen ourselves by having His Word written on our hearts. We need to be in tuned to the Holy Spirit. If we want to draw closer to God and abide in Him we need to practice joyful obedience. We need to get to a place where spending time with God is our deepest desire. Worship, works and spiritual fruit then produce organically.

God, Thank you for Jesus, your salvation and your loving presence. You are my fortress, my King and my deliverer. Help me to work on my relationship with you. Help me to practice what i preach. It's easy to talk the talk, but help me to walk the walk. Help me to not fall into laziness or idleness. Help me to have grace for myself and to see myself the way you see me. Awaken my soul, may it sing songs of praise and find rest in you. Increase my faith and trust in you. Help me to turn from my sins and to come in repentance. Draw me back to you when i drift. You alone satisfy me. Reveal and smash my idols. Refine me, humble me, and give me guidance. Help me to stop being so concerned with what others think. Give me patience with others. Give me the boldness to speak up when you present the right opportunities. Help me to grow in holiness, righteousness, purity and obedience. May your will become my will. God help me to stop just praying for myself. May your Spirit work through your church, draw your people to yourself. May you receive all the glory. Amen.