strengths finder

here's a book i'd recommend. It's called Strengths Finder 2.0 by Tom Rath. It helps find your top strengths.. go figure.. i'd say it's pretty accurate., cuz the test thingy comes with it.. i think a lot of my strengths have to do with trying to help others. 1,3&5 are contemplative and try to connect patterns for solutions.. while 2&4 are strengths that try to support others. so i guess counseling is something i probably would enjoy. The book focuses primarily on how one deals with working with others, career ideas, relational tendencies, and how one handles problems.

my top 5 are,


1) Strategic    -People who are especially talented in the Strategic theme create alternative ways to proceed. Faced with any given scenario, they can quickly spot the relevant patterns and issues.

 2) Restorative  -People who are especially talented in the Restorative theme are adept at dealing with problems. They are good at figuring out what is wrong and resolving it.

 3) Deliberative  -People who are especially talented in the Deliberative theme are best described by the serious care they take in making decisions or choices. They anticipate the obstacles.

 4) Relator  -People who are especially talented in the Relator theme enjoy close relationships with others. They find deep satisfaction in working hard with friends to achieve a goal.

 5) Ideation  -People who are especially talented in the Ideation theme are fascinated by ideas. They are able to find connections between seemingly disparate phenomena.

Trust

Things don't always go the way we plan. Things seem to happen a lot differently than our ideal hopes and expectations. A pretty important doctrine in scriptchur is this thing called faith. I guess the reason im blogging about this is because every area of my life seems to come down to faith. Faith is belief manifested. Faith played out in our life looks like trust. I think my theme for this season is trust.

If you're honest about it, we spend most of our days trusting in ourselves. We look to our own interest and fill our selfish desires before we consider God's plans. I guess i've been asking myself, have I really been trusting God? Has he been first in my thought life? I mean, yeah we trust God for our salvation and in the power of his grace. But do we trust God with our future? our finances? our relationships? our insecurities, fears or pain? More times than not we turn to ourselves to try and fix our problems, or to try and make things the way we want it. We turn to idols and distractions to try and cope. Sometimes things are simply out of our control. And we just need to let go and let God.

counseling 101

avoid trying to share your own experiences and offering quick fix solutions. the goal is to direct them to God and not necessarily solve their problems. by focusing on soul care and growing closer to God, they may come up with their own right answer that works for them

1) Active Listening /  3 Ears

this is kinda hard to do. usually we're already pondering what we want to say instead of really listening to what someone's expressing. We need 1 ear to listen to what is being said, 1 ear to listen to what we may be internally sensing/observing, and 1 ear to listen to what the Holy Spirit is speaking. Listening is also a ministry of presence. it allows you to walk and be in their pain with them, acknowledging and affirming that their trial or pain is significant and difficult to deal with.

2) Concrete Questions

Sometimes we immediately think we understand their situation, when their experience could be much different from ours. Asking for more information using Who, What, When, Where, and How (not Why) questions can help others share more about what their dealing with. These open ended questions invite others to continue telling more specific details. It could help reveal more of their thoughts, feelings, values, attitudes, perspectives, assumptions, expectations, needs, etc.Or they can help them to think about something they haven't given much thought to. It also focuses the attention on the one sharing, rather than on the similar experiences of others.

3) Compassion Statements

mm.. oh yeah.. compassion statements are really just Reflecting back their content to show you understand. You wanna pick emotion words to try and guess to how they might feel. You also want to match the intensity of their feelings. Instead of saying, you must feel a little hurt, it may be more appropriate to say that must have made you feel really devastated or disappointed. basically jus don't undermine people's feelings.

The structure of a compassion statement is something like,
"I wonder if you feel ________ because __________" or
"It sounds like you feel ________ because _______."

ie.

"It sounds like you've been feeling a little anxious lately because you haven't received your test back yet. is that right?"

"I wonder if you feel conflicted because you're not quite sure if you should eat at jackn the box or taco bell. Is that close?"

and then u also want to ask for confirmation to see if your statement is close to how they feel or not.

4) relationship, realization, responsibility

mm... relationship is showing empathy, building trust, showing genuine interest and soul care. realization the "Aha!" moment you want them to find themselves. It's helping them uncover Roots or pattens in their past. what factors could be affecting their situation or behavior? it's like searching / propping for what could be underneath the problem. responsibility is helping them to change a false theological belief, perspective or wrong thinking, and then encouraging their will to respond in faith. After hearing them out, helping them to draw their own realizations, then can one offer possible helpful suggestions.

call of jury duty

so i got called for jury duty. it's my 3rd time. but the first two i was able to get excused cuz i was living in CA. I was resistant to go and was trying to think of a way to get out of it. They only pay you $30 + gas mileage for each day. Guess everyone hates it cuz it messes up their work schedule.

So i ended up being the first called to be on one of the 12 jury seats. There was a pool of about 70 other people. They all stayed and had to cram into a small court room. The judge then explained that the dude was accused of 2 accounts of attempted murder, possession of tons of firearms, breaking and entering, and theft. Everyone was silent, and was like.. daaaayum this is pretty serious! I think the guy is claiming he's not guilty and was using self-defense. And technically he's innocent until proven guilty. but with all those charges against him, it doesn't look so good.

recent lessons

Life seems to throw a lot of curve balls.  Suffering, loneliness, trials, pressures, grief, loss and brokenness seem to come with the package. Whenever we experience any heartache, suffering and pain, it's likely that God is trying to teach us something. Sometimes I get so caught up with jus focusing on my problems that i miss seeing what God may be doing in the midst of it.

We all have insecurities, scars, and sins we struggle with. But this is exactly why God died for us. God calls us to repentance. We all have our handful of mistakes and failures. There's things we shouldn't have said or should've said. But God is a God of grace and patience. Eventually there's something in all of us that seeks something greater than what this world can offer. There's a turning point where we get sick of our sin, and like the prodigal son, we start the process of returning home to our Father. He graciously forgives us, welcomes us back in fellowship and invites us to find rest in Him. From there His love begins to transform us, and His Spirit leads us to pursue holiness.

Easter is coming up, and it's a good reminder to reflect on how Jesus died for our sins. His blood purchased our freedom. If it wasn't for Jesus we would all rot in eternity for our sins. We don't really understand our depravity and how much wrath our sins deserve. Without God intervening there would be absolutely no hope and no salvation. Do we really trust that Christ's sacrifice was worthy of taking all the wrath our sins deserve? He calls us to respond in faith. He calls us to take up our cross daily and to follow him. Sometimes we jus forget and undermine the importance of God's saving grace. Apart from Him, there is no other way, truth or life.