Feels like I haven't blogged in a while. Just haven't taken the time. Here's what's new.
My mom decided to renovate the house. So we got some dudes who apparently aren't licensed contractors.. but they did a decent job. Renovations never go according to plan. Houses require a little too much attention if you ask me. Anyways, we redid my entire bathroom. Like the flooring and everything. We also redid my bedroom so now I have more space and closet space. I didn't realize how much clothes I have. Oh yeah, the big thing is we put in some air conditioners finally! So that's really nice. Oh and we had wood rot so that was a lot of repairs as well.
While doing my bathroom we realized we needed to call a plumber. He then said we have to change out a lot of our water system piping to prevent future water problems. And that was super expensive. Everything is expensive. Anyways, we're close to being finish. We're just gonna get our carpet clean. I like carpet. Like legit awesome carpet. I don't get how ppl live with hard floors.
Renovations are like getting a hair cut. It's something new and fresh. It also reminds me of how God renovates our heart. Everyday is a brand new start. We have all these thoughts, dreams and ideas. But then from there, it's a matter of taking intentional action to achieve our goals. A lot of times I have something I want to do or pursue and then something else comes up and we realized we're distracted from pursuing what's important to us. (like trying to go to the gym but instead taking a nap). Change, transformation, growth and becoming a better version of yourself is basically internal renovation. It's cleaning up all the junk and replacing it with the right perspective.
I was originally thinking of titling this blog, internal conflict. Because I am constantly at war within myself. I have this lazy and negative side to me that self-doubts and doesn't want to do anything challenging. It's a sloth that wants to just chill and sleep in and play video games all day and to jus binge watch shows. Or maybe like a panda who jus rolls around all day. This side of me worries a lot and doesn't think he can step up to challenges. Then there's this confident side to me that i'm trying to listen to more. This other stronger side of me wants to trust God in faith and to move in confidence. It is hopeful and believes that I can do whatever I set out to accomplish. So there's the bleh negative Chris that just gives excuses and complains about small things.. and then there's the confident and courageous Chris that is full of energy and determination. How the heck do I deal with these polar opposites?
If you're anything like me and have two versions of yourself, it's okay to rest and take things a little slow at times, but it's fairly obvious to which side we should be listening to more. We're stronger than we think, and can control how we think and perceive things, including our inner self talk. So why not choose the side that encourages rather than the side that discourages. And going one step further, instead of listening to our head and heart, we have access to hearing from God. That's a big advantage! He's speaking to us, sometimes not in like a voice (but in many ways), he's always with us, at every moment. So how do we tap into that awareness, and stop worrying about the past and future. But trust God and be with him in the present.
Not like I really subscribe to Freud's view of the Id, Ego and Super Ego, but part of it does make sense. The Id just wants to satisfy its childish pleasures by any means, the Super Ego is the parental and moral view of being a responsible adult trying to do everything right, and then there's the ego who basically tries to balance in the middle trying to maintain this crazy mess.
Oh I did take a 4 hour exam called the NCE, national counselor exam. It was pretty tough. I really really really hope I don't have to take it again, but if I do, i guess it's not the end of the world.
EDIT
I just found out i passed! THANK GOD! my heart.. so much stress. im glad that's over with. the email said, "Fall Test Score" and at first i read, "Fail Test Score"
Thanksgiving week was full of get togethers. I ate too much pie. I got a little lazy and didn't work out last week. I've been sorta fighting a cold. When I take out physical exercise from my weekly routines, everything just feels bleh. Somehow working out actually makes me a much stronger person. It reduces stress, fights issues of depression and it's like leveling up in a video game. Gotta increase yo stats!
My cat keeps meowing.. I just said "Shhhhhhhhhh!" that didn't work. he jus stared at me and then kept meowing.. meow meow weoowww.. -_- we got him this timed cat feeder thingy, but he's smart and figured out how to break it open.. so at night u can hear him doing everything he can to destroy this cat feeder.
So before i jump into working full time, it's really been nice to just take things a little slow. There's so much to life to enjoy and yet we hafta work so much to just to survive, especially in hawaii. so yeah, it's nice to take a break and just do the fun things you enjoy without having to worry too much. Trying to work multiple jobs and long hours is just too much. i don't see how ppl can work 60+ hours every week. i wish i had a money tree. In order to counter my overthinking, i find myself escaping into games, shows and movies. I rewatched 9 seasons of The Office, lol. and dang mmo's are so addicting. any game with animal mounts, weapons and bad guys is just too fun. and with more time on my hands i have more energy to walk to the gym. I just want to retire already lol
Since July, I changed my diet. The first month I actually gained 2 pounds lol. I was trying to lose some body fat that I stored up during grad school. By the end of October I lost about 15 pounds. I wasn't really trying to lose weight, but I guess that happens when your on an intermittent and keto fast. It feels good to eat clean foods and follow a healthier nutritional strategy than just my usual "I'll eat whatever I want." The best diets are basically the ones you can actually stick to. I could probably write a long blog about intermittent and keto. Basically I cut out carbs and sugar, and ate within a 6 or 8 hour window. High in fats and protein and veggies like avocados and eggs.
uh let's see. Oh so I still need to collect 3000 hours if I want to become a licensed mental health counselor. I'm getting supervision from someone and it's nice to have someone on your team to keep you accountable, and support you with whatever your going through each month.
I want to say I'm developing a new found confidence, but there are still times that I revert back to worrying and doubting myself. I have a good feeling about 2019 and I think there will be some positive changes. God doesn't tell me all the details, but sometimes you just need to make decisions in faith, even if you're not 100% sure, ya' know? Put on your best self. Put on the armor of God. Put on your smile and walk in faith and confidence.
mkay bye
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