Peace

This year my main 2019 new year's resolution and goal sort of just came to me this week. It can be summed up in one word. Peace. In previous years, I had words like Confidence, Discipline, Community, Flourishing, Self-Love, and the phrase "Being with God." These are all still important self-improvement goals that I need to continue to work on. But this year, for some reason I was less concerned with trying to be the best version of myself all the time. I'm usually very critical on myself and try all sorts of things to better myself. But instead of focusing too much on trying to grow in my holistic health, I thought I could really just use a sense of peace.

Peace isn't the absence of problems, but the addition of power to overcome them. Even if life can feel like a thunderstorm, we can find peace knowing that God is with us, that he is sovereign and in control.

My mind wanders and ponders way too much. I think about the past and the future too much. It causes me to worry or spiral into negative thinking. I realize that these thoughts aren't helpful. Sometimes I find it better to just go exercise, play games or watch a movie so that I become numb. So I'm not exactly where I thought I'd be by now. I have too much debt, I stress out about money, I struggle with loneliness and singleness, and have issues of depression. I think we all search for a sense of belonging, and a sense of fulfillment. If we are living without purpose and not utilizing our potential, I think its common to feel unsatisfied with ourselves. Even if life isn't the way you dreamed it would be and you're not exactly how you'd like to be or where you'd like to be, you can still find peace. 

I have had to deal with a conflict recently, and it's caused me unnecessary stress. Some people are just oblivious to how obnoxious, insensitive and rude they are. It can be super annoying. But instead of fighting back, i'm trying to just forgive and let go. 

I think the most important thing for me right now is finding a deeper sense of peace. How? I think it goes back to "Being with God" and receiving rest and peace in the love of God. Also, it helps to just notice when i'm having negative thoughts, and then  trying to switch that off and just live in the present. Every moment is a chance we can abide in God. Sometimes just 30 seconds of connecting with God can really change everything. God is always with us and sometimes I forget that. God help me to be at peace. Help me to share that peace with others. Hope everyone has a peaceful new year!