One Day at a Time

Have you ever had to make a big decision? well ofc u have. I can be super indecisive. There's always pros and cons to weigh. There's trying to predict what each possible future might look like. and well.. in short.. after a lot of contemplation, prayer and talking to a bunch of people, i decided to accept another part time job on top of my other job.

My previous jobs had a lot of flexibility. There's a lot of great things about this new job. But one of the tough parts is that it starts at 530am. Which means I hafta get used to sleeping around 9-10pm and waking up around 4am. I'm definitely a night person and not a morning person, so this will be challenging. This new job will basically involve individual counseling in mental health/substance abuse and group therapy groups. It's smething I feel that I can do, but sometimes I worry if I have what it takes to be faithful to everything, and juggle two tough positions. I know it'll get overwhelming and stressful, so part of me is just preparing myself to be ready for the challenge.

If i mess up my sleep schedule, i know life is gonna be hard. I gotta fix my sleep habits. Part of my personal philosophy is to be and become the best version of myself. And that ultimately requires me asking God for help, to receive the strength and energy to accomplish everything. And it's when I'm at the top of my game, I have the ability to educate, support and encourage others to grow in their holistic health and self-care. but yeah, lack of sleep makes me p miserable.

Just take one day at a time Chris, you'll be okay. You can do it! lol or not. we'll see.

Adulting / Trip to CA

Today was a busy day. Traveling all over the place, going to meetings, making appointments, doing work stuff, and trying to do everything right. And surprisingly, I was able to do everything right. Usually something goes wrong, ppl cancel, i forget something, or im running late. But today everything went right. And i kept thinking.. how much of trying to do things right is me being a perfectionist, and how much is me just trying my best to be responsible and professional. know what i mean? I started making a long mental list of things i'm constantly trying to do right.

taking care of your health
do all the things work requires
eating right consistently and avoiding all da sugar and junk food
going to church and being intentional with being with God
sleeping early, ugh that's kinda hard for me
managing money, saving money and investing money
do chores like laundry, cleaning house, yard work etc.
good hygiene practices ofc
dental care actually requires more effort then ppl think
Working out at the gym at least twice a week
being positive, caring and kind to others

like there's just too much stuff that adulting requires. something usually hasta give. i ain't even married or have kids..just a cat. and like.. how the heck am I supposed to take care of everything and make a healthy routine.. it requires so much energy, discipline and intentionality. i'm already hard on myself as it is. and then i pile these expectations on myself. i mean it's good to try your best, work hard, focus on holistic health and be disciplined. but man.. sometimes i just need to chill

it's funny that i feel so tired on a day off when i accomplish nothing. and yet when i hit the gym, go to work and i'm out doing errands i actually have more energy. 

So my old roommate, finally proposed to a girl... in the Biola school library lol. such a great idea lol. My old roommate is definitely one of the coolest guys. I can't speak enough praises about him, and he found a really godly girl too. So I gotta go up to California in October for a week. I'm definitely excited for him. and they're such a good example of Christian courtship, and i know they'll have a strong Christian marriage putting God first, and idk.. it just makes me feel behind in life. ah nvm, let's not dwell on that lol.  so yeah, i booked a flight, and hotel etc. It'll be like 5, almost 6 years since i've been back to CA. It'll definitely be nice to see some old friends. crazy how distance on this globe can really make friendships grow apart. My family is in Hawaii, but part of me is still in CA. And i guess that's why i feel torn. I definitely overthink and over analyze.. so for now, let's not do that lol. 

Distracted to Focused

You ever stop whatever you're doing and realize, wow i just need to take a moment to do nothing. And then while doing nothing, you automatically start to think, and then while thinking you realize.. I really need to talk to God, and come before Him.

Like.. i realized I go through most of my day preoccupied. And for some reason I feel so distracted from what's truly important. I feel like i've been absent from communicating with God. I feel like i've drifted away concerned about work, or hobbies, and all sorts of random things. And then i realized how much I block out the things that make me feel hurt or down.