There's kind of been a lot on my mind lately. usually that means it's time for a blog. So recently I let go of a part time job. that was a huge weight off my shoulders. then i went through some very challenging weeks dealing with a lot of pain, anger, depression and loss. Then I went up to California for my old roommate's wedding, and also a mini vacation. It was really nice to be part of the wedding party and getting to meet some really god honoring Christians. Some Christians just go above and beyond and you can see how genuine and authentic they are. Anyways, it was such a positive thing to witness a marriage focused on honoring God/ Jesus.
There was a moment during the wedding, where the wedding music started to play, the bride started to walk down the isle, and all their friends and family stood up to surround them with love and support. Then I looked at my friend's face, and I could see he was also getting choked up and teary too. And I've never seen so much raw emotion jus hit at a moment. it was powerful to witness such a deep love, not only between the bride and groom but everyone present as well. And they purposely were intentional about making the wedding/ marriage about God more than themselves.
Anywho... uhhh yeah, it was also nice to just relax and not have any work to stress about. I think I really value my personal free time. I enjoy freedom, rest and recreation. (I mean who doesn't, lol). I kinda already knew this, but it's becoming more evident in my life.. I put so much priority on protecting my free time. Sometimes it can lead to slothfulness if I end up being too much of a couch potato.
So here's the 9 types of the Enneagram.
1. The Reformer/ Perfectionist - Principled, "I do everything the right way"
2. The Helper - Generous, Giving, "I must help others"
3. The Achiever - Adaptable, Driven, "I need to succeed"
4. The Individualist/ Romantic - Expressive, "I am unique"
5. The Thinker/ Observer, Investigator - Innovative, "I need to understand the world"
6. The Loyalist - Engaging, "I am affectionate and skeptical"
7. Enthusiast/ Skeptic - Spontaneous, "I am happy and open to new things"
8. The Leader/ Challenger - Self-confident, "I must be strong"
9. The Peacemaker/ Mediator - Receptive, "I am at peace."
The Enneagram is this psychological archetype thing, kinda like a myer's brigg test of personality types and distinguishing differences of individual's core motivations, (if that makes any sense.) Uhh so apparently, out of the nine types, I'm a number Nine which is "The Peacemaker". I value interpersonal skills, relationships, communication and being aware of my body and emotions. I think exercise does a lot for all aspects of my self-awareness.
"Nines are accepting, trusting and stable. They are usually creative, optimistic and supportive, but can also be too willing to go along with others to keep peace. They want everything to go smoothly and be without conflict, but they can also tend to be complacent, simplifying problems and minimizing anything upsetting. They are able to bring people together and heal conflicts."
I don't fully understand a lot of it, and I know that none of us can be summed up in one personality type but it's interesting to study. A lot of these types are interconnected, and we can move towards a certain type depending on our most healthy or unhealthy self. If anything, it sheds a little light to help people understand themselves and others a little more.
Greatest Goal
When I think about the 8 dimensions of wellness, I really start to advocate that our Spiritual health is really the core. If any aspect of our health is struggling, it definitely effects our other dimensions of wellness.
I was listening to someone's testimony.. and idk, it kinda hit me. They said, "Drawing closer to God should be our greatest goal." And I was like, "Yeah.. I agree with that statement." But then I look at my life and think.. hmm my life really doesn't pursue that goal as my top priority. If you were to look at how I spend my time, money and energy.. u'd see that I prioritize just being a lazy sloth who just wants to play and have fun. I guess, i feel convicted, because I know I want to put God first.. but my life really doesn't demonstrate that.. And i say, "Well God is so metaphysical.. and abstract sometimes." Yeah.. but that doesn't make our relationship with God any less important, real or true.. hmm ..perhaps I just make excuses of why I don't want to commit my time and energy into it because really I'm selfish and just want to stay home and chill.
yeah.. so .. i feel like i have this inner conflict within myself of wanting to change, pursue what God has called me to, and strive towards being the best version of myself, and.... then.. also just being lazy cat who just wants to rest and not do anythin that requires energy.. lol that sounds pathetic. When I look at my spirituality.. I honestly don't feel close to God.. and that's cuz i don't put much focus towards growing closer to God.
So to summarize... I think these are the questions I need to ponder more.. "What am I focused on? What is my greatest goal? Am I being purposeful to achieve my goals?" What do I need to do to flourish and thrive in all aspects of my health?"
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