I saw batman the other day. I honestly wasn't impressed. It actually met my expectations. There was so much hype, and the movie turned out to be quite average. I couldn't even understand half the dialogue because they were mumbling. Batman didn't use any cool gadgets, the fights were kinda short, there was no detective work, and i was really hoping for more. In retrospect, i didn't even really care for the past 2 batman movies. owellz..
I also finished up Big. i was kinda disappointed how fast they tied things up. They dont even show him at the end! Gah i coulda been casted and laid in a comma for 15 episodes! There was a few tear jerkers when they actually do confess their feelings. I dont see why they didnt jus do that from the start. so much drama, just hook up already, gah. Stop playing hard to get. I shoulda jus walked onto the drama and swept Lee Min Jung for myself! lol.. im debating if i should watch Lie to Me, Personal Taste, or Iris. I'll probably jus try to get back into City Hunter if i get bored. mm i think im done with kdramas for awhile..
_____________
Today was long. I woke up grumpy cuz my mom woke me up to go to the dentist office. I dont like being woke up 5 mins before we hafta leave. I dont like rushing when im still dead tired. I even yelled, "Mom! Stop talking." I felt really bad. i realize how much i complain. I realize how much she does and i can seem to show or express much appreciation. It makes me upset at myself. Later i got lunch with my Dad, and we actually had a conversation about God which is rare. I pray that God helps me to be patient with my parents, and also that i would display the love of Christ to them.
After my mom got off work we went to a funeral. I've probably only gone to 3 or 4 of them before. I actually got a little teary a few times because of the eulogy and all. I didn't even know my mom's friend's mom. She had 3 sons and 6 granddaughters. What hit me was all the things the sons remembered about their mom. She lived a full life of both quantity and quality. She pasted away at the age of 89. Her husband passed away 6 years ago, and she was living in a hospice. The sons told stories about how she grew up working in the sugarcane fields. They talked about how she was very independent. They described how she loved to cook. She had very famous dishes. She taught her granddaughters her special recipes and it was seen as passing on her legacy. They spoke of the memories they had when their mom would always take care of them. One son shared how she was involved in YMCA classes and dance classes. He shared how she loved her avocado tree. Her only two regrets was not keeping the family closer together and not being able to see her granddaughters and great grandchildren grow up.
Even though a believer is set free from this world, it still hurts. The loss of a loved one is still very sad and painful. It was difficult to see all the lives that one person touched. It was hard to see others mourning. It was strange to see how some people didn't really seem to be affected. It was hard to see that only memories of her were left in this temporal world. I think the hardest part for me was hearing her one son say, "Mom, we miss you, and we love you." It made me think of how often i take for granted the people in my own family.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
A Hunger for Something to Satisfy
We all have this deep yearning to fill ourselves. Our attention span has gotten shorter. We find ourselves trying to distract ourselves with the internet or smart phone apps. We browse hundreds of channels hoping to find something entertaining. We find ourselves late at night searching sites like tumblr, facebook, youtube, or looking at things to buy. I think the internet has become a bigger problem and distraction in our generation. Hours and hours of staring at a computer. We close ourselves socially and spiritually, to be filled by the internet.
I hafta go to the dentist tomorrow and they don't really have wifi, so i'm already bummed that "i'll have nothing to do." (because i wanna watch "Big" lol. im curious to how they're gonna rap the whole drama up). But perhaps fasting from technology allows one to become more alert to what's going on around us. Why do we feed off of the internet more than we feed off of God?
We pray "Give us today our daily bread," assuming that God's Word and Spirit sustains, fills and satisfy us. And instead, we feast on media, internet, games, or other activities. As Christians, are we really living Christ-centered lives? Or Christ over-as-a-side-dish lives? We fall into the hands of lust so often because we have perverted this need for close intimacy. Sin is a inadequate way of trying to satisfy an adequate need. What we fill ourselves with is what comes out. If we fall for counterfeit sources, we'll jus end up trying to gratify our desires through other means. And i think this builds up anxiety. A constant search for something to truly satisfy. Only God offers such rest, peace and joy.
We crave movies with action, romance, humor and suspense because most of the time we don't consider our lives as exciting. Once in awhile, i'll think, who can i text? who's on facebook chat? Who can i talk to? We long to connect with others. I find myself searching for something or someone to occupy myself. I remember my entire social life was comprised on who i talked on the phone with or who was on AIM. I even used to search random chatrooms just so i could talk to someone who would listen. And yet, God is always "online," always patiently waiting for us, and always completely attentive to us.
Sometimes we fall in love with characters and stories because we enjoy the adventure and drama of these other worlds. Sometimes these fictional worlds capture us because we see characters overcome difficult challenges. We love to see redemption, and those with the will to fight for something good. We long to laugh at silly things because sometimes we lack our own creativity. We like to be updated with the latest news, musical artist, and new releases. Video games can be quite appealing because role playing games allow people to assume characters that interact inside a virtual world. At the very core of it all, we seek and desire pleasure. We are in a sense, hedonists. But as Christian hedonist, we need God to be our ultimate pleasure and satisfaction.
Sometimes i walk around my house thinking. What could i possibly do right now? I walk back and fourth. Flip channels. Check the fridge, wondering if i'm really hungry or just bored. Sometimes just going out of the house makes me feel more productive.I got to go to church and saw some old friends. I got lunch with my dad a few times already. I went swimming almost every other day. And i also got to play basketball with some guys a few times. But even recreation, exercise, and work can be seen as means of filling ourselves. We try to escape or distract.
I know this can all be misinterpreted in the wrong way. No, doing activities, watching tv, and surfing the web isn't necessary bad. However, sometimes it makes us numb to what's really important. We hafta be careful not to fall into debauchery. We focus so much on the physical world and that we become completely oblivious to the spiritual world. With blinded eyes and deaf ears we miss out on communing with God. Our heart is constantly trying to fill itself and distract ourselves from the silence. Even in silence our thoughts begin racing and wandering. We are in dire need of self-control and spiritual discipline.
Have you ever over eaten? Have you ever over slept? Sometimes we need to put limits on ourselves because it's not hard to indulge. I remember one of my friend's aunties was talkin about how she hadta stop watching kdramas, because she actually saw it becoming an idol. It would consume her time and mind. She felt like it interfered with her devotion to God. Our entire culture is immersed in filling ourselves. Malls and sales tempt us to buy more stuff that we don't need. Commercials, magazines and advertisements are trying to convince and sell us on buying their products.
My people have committed two sins:
They have forsaken me,
the spring of living water,
and have dug their own cisterns,
broken cisterns that cannot hold water.
-Jer. 2:13
We want to do something with our lives, and yet we keep our perspectives narrow due to temporary desires. Perhaps glorifying God isn't at the top of our list. We become self seeking in how we can make a name for ourselves. But at the very end of it all, what exactly are we living for? Sure we're all pursuing education for specific careers, so we can have lots of green paper in the bank. But i don't think that fulfills our purpose in life. Nor is just finding someone to marry, and having a comfortable home. What exactly are we to do with our lives?
After the dentist, my mom and i are goin to a funeral. Funerals kinda force you to think about life and death. What is it all for? What have we live for? What are we living for? and what will we live for? We take time for granted. When i'm old, i want to look back on my life and see that i spent my life living for Him by serving others. Living for anything else would just seem like a waste. Rather than asking, "What am i to do?" Perhaps a better question to ask is, "Who is the person God wants me to be?"
We all have specific callings to different "ministries." But as Christians our chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. We are created to worship. And i guess these can all sound cliche, but exactly how do we "live" for God? Perhaps it's by expanding His kingdom and sharing the gospel. Perhaps it involves displaying more love, joy, peace, patience, etc in our lives. Perhaps it's to grow closer into the likeness of Christ. There are a combination of things that we are called to do to bring God glory. We are stewards of this life that God has given us. We can choose to invest it towards eternal purposes or waste it on physical, temporal and selfish rewards. Practically and realistically, how can we live in a way that gives God the highest glory?
As Christians, how can we be faithful and practice holiness? Our hearts need to be changed by the living God. We need to strengthen ourselves by having His Word written on our hearts. We need to be in tuned to the Holy Spirit. If we want to draw closer to God and abide in Him we need to practice joyful obedience. We need to get to a place where spending time with God is our deepest desire. Worship, works and spiritual fruit then produce organically.
God, Thank you for Jesus, your salvation and your loving presence. You are my fortress, my King and my deliverer. Help me to work on my relationship with you. Help me to practice what i preach. It's easy to talk the talk, but help me to walk the walk. Help me to not fall into laziness or idleness. Help me to have grace for myself and to see myself the way you see me. Awaken my soul, may it sing songs of praise and find rest in you. Increase my faith and trust in you. Help me to turn from my sins and to come in repentance. Draw me back to you when i drift. You alone satisfy me. Reveal and smash my idols. Refine me, humble me, and give me guidance. Help me to stop being so concerned with what others think. Give me patience with others. Give me the boldness to speak up when you present the right opportunities. Help me to grow in holiness, righteousness, purity and obedience. May your will become my will. God help me to stop just praying for myself. May your Spirit work through your church, draw your people to yourself. May you receive all the glory. Amen.
I hafta go to the dentist tomorrow and they don't really have wifi, so i'm already bummed that "i'll have nothing to do." (because i wanna watch "Big" lol. im curious to how they're gonna rap the whole drama up). But perhaps fasting from technology allows one to become more alert to what's going on around us. Why do we feed off of the internet more than we feed off of God?
We pray "Give us today our daily bread," assuming that God's Word and Spirit sustains, fills and satisfy us. And instead, we feast on media, internet, games, or other activities. As Christians, are we really living Christ-centered lives? Or Christ over-as-a-side-dish lives? We fall into the hands of lust so often because we have perverted this need for close intimacy. Sin is a inadequate way of trying to satisfy an adequate need. What we fill ourselves with is what comes out. If we fall for counterfeit sources, we'll jus end up trying to gratify our desires through other means. And i think this builds up anxiety. A constant search for something to truly satisfy. Only God offers such rest, peace and joy.
We crave movies with action, romance, humor and suspense because most of the time we don't consider our lives as exciting. Once in awhile, i'll think, who can i text? who's on facebook chat? Who can i talk to? We long to connect with others. I find myself searching for something or someone to occupy myself. I remember my entire social life was comprised on who i talked on the phone with or who was on AIM. I even used to search random chatrooms just so i could talk to someone who would listen. And yet, God is always "online," always patiently waiting for us, and always completely attentive to us.
Sometimes we fall in love with characters and stories because we enjoy the adventure and drama of these other worlds. Sometimes these fictional worlds capture us because we see characters overcome difficult challenges. We love to see redemption, and those with the will to fight for something good. We long to laugh at silly things because sometimes we lack our own creativity. We like to be updated with the latest news, musical artist, and new releases. Video games can be quite appealing because role playing games allow people to assume characters that interact inside a virtual world. At the very core of it all, we seek and desire pleasure. We are in a sense, hedonists. But as Christian hedonist, we need God to be our ultimate pleasure and satisfaction.
Sometimes i walk around my house thinking. What could i possibly do right now? I walk back and fourth. Flip channels. Check the fridge, wondering if i'm really hungry or just bored. Sometimes just going out of the house makes me feel more productive.I got to go to church and saw some old friends. I got lunch with my dad a few times already. I went swimming almost every other day. And i also got to play basketball with some guys a few times. But even recreation, exercise, and work can be seen as means of filling ourselves. We try to escape or distract.
I know this can all be misinterpreted in the wrong way. No, doing activities, watching tv, and surfing the web isn't necessary bad. However, sometimes it makes us numb to what's really important. We hafta be careful not to fall into debauchery. We focus so much on the physical world and that we become completely oblivious to the spiritual world. With blinded eyes and deaf ears we miss out on communing with God. Our heart is constantly trying to fill itself and distract ourselves from the silence. Even in silence our thoughts begin racing and wandering. We are in dire need of self-control and spiritual discipline.
Have you ever over eaten? Have you ever over slept? Sometimes we need to put limits on ourselves because it's not hard to indulge. I remember one of my friend's aunties was talkin about how she hadta stop watching kdramas, because she actually saw it becoming an idol. It would consume her time and mind. She felt like it interfered with her devotion to God. Our entire culture is immersed in filling ourselves. Malls and sales tempt us to buy more stuff that we don't need. Commercials, magazines and advertisements are trying to convince and sell us on buying their products.
My people have committed two sins:
They have forsaken me,
the spring of living water,
and have dug their own cisterns,
broken cisterns that cannot hold water.
-Jer. 2:13
We want to do something with our lives, and yet we keep our perspectives narrow due to temporary desires. Perhaps glorifying God isn't at the top of our list. We become self seeking in how we can make a name for ourselves. But at the very end of it all, what exactly are we living for? Sure we're all pursuing education for specific careers, so we can have lots of green paper in the bank. But i don't think that fulfills our purpose in life. Nor is just finding someone to marry, and having a comfortable home. What exactly are we to do with our lives?
After the dentist, my mom and i are goin to a funeral. Funerals kinda force you to think about life and death. What is it all for? What have we live for? What are we living for? and what will we live for? We take time for granted. When i'm old, i want to look back on my life and see that i spent my life living for Him by serving others. Living for anything else would just seem like a waste. Rather than asking, "What am i to do?" Perhaps a better question to ask is, "Who is the person God wants me to be?"
We all have specific callings to different "ministries." But as Christians our chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. We are created to worship. And i guess these can all sound cliche, but exactly how do we "live" for God? Perhaps it's by expanding His kingdom and sharing the gospel. Perhaps it involves displaying more love, joy, peace, patience, etc in our lives. Perhaps it's to grow closer into the likeness of Christ. There are a combination of things that we are called to do to bring God glory. We are stewards of this life that God has given us. We can choose to invest it towards eternal purposes or waste it on physical, temporal and selfish rewards. Practically and realistically, how can we live in a way that gives God the highest glory?
As Christians, how can we be faithful and practice holiness? Our hearts need to be changed by the living God. We need to strengthen ourselves by having His Word written on our hearts. We need to be in tuned to the Holy Spirit. If we want to draw closer to God and abide in Him we need to practice joyful obedience. We need to get to a place where spending time with God is our deepest desire. Worship, works and spiritual fruit then produce organically.
God, Thank you for Jesus, your salvation and your loving presence. You are my fortress, my King and my deliverer. Help me to work on my relationship with you. Help me to practice what i preach. It's easy to talk the talk, but help me to walk the walk. Help me to not fall into laziness or idleness. Help me to have grace for myself and to see myself the way you see me. Awaken my soul, may it sing songs of praise and find rest in you. Increase my faith and trust in you. Help me to turn from my sins and to come in repentance. Draw me back to you when i drift. You alone satisfy me. Reveal and smash my idols. Refine me, humble me, and give me guidance. Help me to stop being so concerned with what others think. Give me patience with others. Give me the boldness to speak up when you present the right opportunities. Help me to grow in holiness, righteousness, purity and obedience. May your will become my will. God help me to stop just praying for myself. May your Spirit work through your church, draw your people to yourself. May you receive all the glory. Amen.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
hawaii
i forgot how peaceful hawaii is
ive been wakin up at 9 since i traveled back in time
it's nice feelin well rested
eating breakfast and fruits
then watchin cartoons
i took a short walk to the rec center today
the sun and sky were perfect
the cool winds were refreshing
all the plants and trees were bright green
i got to swim for awhile which was also fun
on my way home it started to rain
but even the rain felt so good
it's so much easier to sense God when ur surrounded by nature
having a new queen size bed is also awesome
makes me feel like i should actually make it in the morning
i can believe how much time, money and work she put into my room
it's the nicest thing anyone has done for me
i feel like i should be a good son and do everything she wants me to
everything in hawaii is simple
it's not busy and crowded like LA
i do kinda want chipotle tho
i forgot how fresh the air and water is too
its also fun to play with this little cat
although he's not that social
it's also weird watchin tv again
i forgot how many channels and shows there are
it's so hard to try and stop myself from eating everything
right now im craving chicken katsu curry
i missed goin to weds service today cuz i didnt have wheels
my mom was out usin the car, so that makes it kinda hard
batman is coming out tmrw
everyone's been waiting forever
i watched 3 movies so far
tmrw im gonna go play ball
it'll be nice to catch up with old friends i havent seen in over a year
i think having a limited time makes me value it more
it's really nice seeing my mom and dad
hopefully i'll get to see everyone i wanna see
it's so relaxing here that i hafta be careful that i dont get too lazy
i wanna go surfing but all my boards are at a friends house
it's also hard to see ppl since they work
i really dont wanna go back to school
i dont wanna be overly busy and stressed out
maybe ill end up takin less credits
i still havnt gotten shave ice..
i need to go soon! soo good!
i seriously wanna eat everything
ive been wakin up at 9 since i traveled back in time
it's nice feelin well rested
eating breakfast and fruits
then watchin cartoons
i took a short walk to the rec center today
the sun and sky were perfect
the cool winds were refreshing
all the plants and trees were bright green
i got to swim for awhile which was also fun
on my way home it started to rain
but even the rain felt so good
it's so much easier to sense God when ur surrounded by nature
having a new queen size bed is also awesome
makes me feel like i should actually make it in the morning
i can believe how much time, money and work she put into my room
it's the nicest thing anyone has done for me
i feel like i should be a good son and do everything she wants me to
everything in hawaii is simple
it's not busy and crowded like LA
i do kinda want chipotle tho
i forgot how fresh the air and water is too
its also fun to play with this little cat
although he's not that social
it's also weird watchin tv again
i forgot how many channels and shows there are
it's so hard to try and stop myself from eating everything
right now im craving chicken katsu curry
i missed goin to weds service today cuz i didnt have wheels
my mom was out usin the car, so that makes it kinda hard
batman is coming out tmrw
everyone's been waiting forever
i watched 3 movies so far
tmrw im gonna go play ball
it'll be nice to catch up with old friends i havent seen in over a year
i think having a limited time makes me value it more
it's really nice seeing my mom and dad
hopefully i'll get to see everyone i wanna see
it's so relaxing here that i hafta be careful that i dont get too lazy
i wanna go surfing but all my boards are at a friends house
it's also hard to see ppl since they work
i really dont wanna go back to school
i dont wanna be overly busy and stressed out
maybe ill end up takin less credits
i still havnt gotten shave ice..
i need to go soon! soo good!
i seriously wanna eat everything
Friday, July 13, 2012
My Treasure
awake oh my soul
put your hope in God
present yourself fully
and be filled again
long for Him
do not turn astray
there is no one greater
He is supreme over all
arise with hunger
wait patiently in silence
pause and listen carefully
feel His heartbeat
be satisfied
see His beauty
be consumed in awe
shout in worship
walk in the light
live in purity
laugh with joy
rejoice in freedom
find comfort in His peace
enjoy rest
be cleansed
by His waves of mercy
be washed anew
and bathe in His grace
embrace freedom
stand firm in faith
develop perseverance
train in righteousness
take up the armor of the Holy Spirit
He is my rock, my shelter, my shield,
He is my refuge, my strong tower,
He is my hiding place
He is my treasure
He is my all in all
my Abba showers me with love
oh how He delights in His children
how wonderful, mighty and glorious is He
always faithful, sovereign, holy and just
amazing love, how can it be
that you my King would die for me
on the solid rock I stand
all other ground is sinking sand
His love endures forever
what can wash away my sins
nothing but the blood of Jesus
Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet
and a light unto my path
He delivers me from darkness
He leads me as a good shepherd
He restores my soul
I will worship you for who you are
put your hope in God
present yourself fully
and be filled again
long for Him
do not turn astray
there is no one greater
He is supreme over all
arise with hunger
wait patiently in silence
pause and listen carefully
feel His heartbeat
be satisfied
see His beauty
be consumed in awe
shout in worship
walk in the light
live in purity
laugh with joy
rejoice in freedom
find comfort in His peace
enjoy rest
be cleansed
by His waves of mercy
be washed anew
and bathe in His grace
embrace freedom
stand firm in faith
develop perseverance
train in righteousness
take up the armor of the Holy Spirit
He is my rock, my shelter, my shield,
He is my refuge, my strong tower,
He is my hiding place
He is my treasure
He is my all in all
my Abba showers me with love
oh how He delights in His children
how wonderful, mighty and glorious is He
always faithful, sovereign, holy and just
amazing love, how can it be
that you my King would die for me
on the solid rock I stand
all other ground is sinking sand
His love endures forever
what can wash away my sins
nothing but the blood of Jesus
Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet
and a light unto my path
He delivers me from darkness
He leads me as a good shepherd
He restores my soul
I will worship you for who you are
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
July 4th
i jus got back from the gym. And there is seriously something spiritual about getting a good physical workout. I took a C4 prework, and my mind feels so sharp with concentration and energy.
I found this old vitamin bottle for Glucosamine. I kept it sealed and was saving it. But when i opened it and ate one, it was super nasty.. but since i started chewing so much, i had no choice but to swallow this nasty chewy thing.. Yuck! then i rushed to the refrigerator to look for something to get the nasty taste away. I grabbed a few lychees that have been sitting there. I bit one open and shoved it in my mouth. And to my surprise it tasted horrible and gross. So now my mouth still tastes like rotten grape fruit. lol..
that was so off topic..
oh today, or yesterday was july 4th. It's funny when u type something, and you could correct yourself, but you don't. you jus keep going. It's also funny that i hardly proof read my blogs, and then when i reread them later, there's tons of mistakes. lol so much for having a bunch of concentration..
okay.. so here's what i wanted to talk about
Today was 4th of July. And i went to greg's aunt's house with greg, crystal, baraka, and ike. Gregs cousins are josh, joseph, and maria. today was my first time i met their dog shilo. He's super big and furry. He seemed nice at first.. but then later on while we we're eating he started barking at me like crazy.. it was scary. anyways, it was pretty fun eating super good steak, chicken, mexican food, super good salad and brownies. It's always fun to eat good food with friends.
i really miss summers. Summer is a time to enjoy life. You can wake up without having anything demanding to do. You can clean things that have gotten too messy. Summer is great because you don't always feel pressed with time or stressful duties. Summer allows one to focus on leisure and fun activities. I guess you could take advantage by gettin ahead with summer school or by working. But i think we all need time to jus be a kid.
One of the things i wanna focus on this summer is going to the gym more. i was watchin a bunch of inspiring utube videos about exercise. It's so fun pushing ur body to it's limits and feeling yourself get stronger. But on the flip side, i think, what's the point of working out like crazy? i guess it's best to treat it as recreational fun. i really wanna go swimming and i really wanna play basketball. I also miss surfing. I also wanna go snowboarding.. there's a new 24 in lakewood openin in august, so im excited they'll have courts and a pool.
moving to bellflower has been kinda strange. I'm still gettin used to the area. i kinda have a urge to go shopping.. i have a bunch of things i need to get at target.. I need to stop spending so much money!
from this day forward i'm gonna take my diet more seriously. I love a visalus smoothie in the morning.. so good! i think im jus gonna start eating chicken and salad more often. Oh i also wanna make rice soup, (jook).. but i guess too much rice isnt good. i kinda want gogi now.. oh and bbq ribs..
lol its hard to eat right when your stomach craves all sorts of food..
hmm.. okay.. yeah.. so here's what i really wanted to blog about..
I was listening to some worship songs, and worship really opens oneself to God. Sometimes worship can be so cluttered with all this fluff. The best worship is done in humility. The best worship seeks nothing more than to praise God. I like worship songs that have good theological truths. I like songs that focus on the the atonement of Christ. The righteousness that comes through justification. I like songs that are centered around scripture.
We need to make it a habit to worship God. We can worship God in anything that we do. But perhaps the best worship is the time that we intentionally give to God. The best worship involves giving our whole heart and soul. I love when my heart desires nothing but God. For some reason it seems difficult to spend time with God. I think this is why we need to feed ourselves spiritually more consistently. We need more strict accountability. We need fellowship that is invested in each other. We need friends that actually love and care for each other. We need help to do these spiritual disciplines, because we get so easily distracted.
this summer i want to focus on spiritual disciplines. I think i wanna focus on solitude, prayer and rest. Oh and also scripture reading. I struggle to make appointments with God. I struggle to slow myself down and have the patience to seek God. We need to find avenues that draw our attention to God. I think worship songs and jus being alone help. Having free time is great because i can actually listen to sermons! i miss watchin my john piper, mark driscoll, paul washer youtube videos. I also miss listening to waxer tipton back in hawaii. In order to grow closer to God, we need to feed ourselves spiritually by making time for God. We need to make spiritual disciplines habits so that we can open ourselves to hearing God speak to us. We need to make time for worship so that we can enjoy being with God. Being full on God's love leads to joy, which increases faith and leads to action or sanctification. As plants we need to be showered by God's grace, we need to absorb the warmth of His love and we need to be fertilized by His Word. We need stronger roots and a greater dependency on Him.
When we're close to God, we're far from sin. When our minds are consumed by pondering the beauty of the cross we set our hearts on worship mode. The key to loving God is seeing how He first loved us and continues to love us. When we get a taste of His love, we desire Him more.
Abba, help me to slow down. Help me to stay determined, committed and focused on my goals. I want more of you and purity in my life. I want to hate my sin. I want a deeper repentance of sin. I want to grow in fellowship with others and a deeper intimacy with you. I want to hunger and thirst for you because only you truly satisfy. May you be my greatest pleasure, delight and superior joy above all else. Help me to worship you. Help me to fall in deeper love with you daily. God help me to be a witness for you. Help me to shine your love, especially during challenging times. gaurd my thought life. God shut down any pride in my life. Grant me humility. Grant me joyful obedience. Grant me an authentic heart. Help me to be others minded. Help me to sincerely pray for others. Help me to love. Thank you for caring for me as your child. God take my heart, worship and devotion. May these not be empty words. Discipline me, speak to me and help me to spend more time with you. Don't let me waste this summer. Don't let me waste a day. Fill me with peace and joy. Amen.
I found this old vitamin bottle for Glucosamine. I kept it sealed and was saving it. But when i opened it and ate one, it was super nasty.. but since i started chewing so much, i had no choice but to swallow this nasty chewy thing.. Yuck! then i rushed to the refrigerator to look for something to get the nasty taste away. I grabbed a few lychees that have been sitting there. I bit one open and shoved it in my mouth. And to my surprise it tasted horrible and gross. So now my mouth still tastes like rotten grape fruit. lol..
that was so off topic..
oh today, or yesterday was july 4th. It's funny when u type something, and you could correct yourself, but you don't. you jus keep going. It's also funny that i hardly proof read my blogs, and then when i reread them later, there's tons of mistakes. lol so much for having a bunch of concentration..
okay.. so here's what i wanted to talk about
Today was 4th of July. And i went to greg's aunt's house with greg, crystal, baraka, and ike. Gregs cousins are josh, joseph, and maria. today was my first time i met their dog shilo. He's super big and furry. He seemed nice at first.. but then later on while we we're eating he started barking at me like crazy.. it was scary. anyways, it was pretty fun eating super good steak, chicken, mexican food, super good salad and brownies. It's always fun to eat good food with friends.
i really miss summers. Summer is a time to enjoy life. You can wake up without having anything demanding to do. You can clean things that have gotten too messy. Summer is great because you don't always feel pressed with time or stressful duties. Summer allows one to focus on leisure and fun activities. I guess you could take advantage by gettin ahead with summer school or by working. But i think we all need time to jus be a kid.
One of the things i wanna focus on this summer is going to the gym more. i was watchin a bunch of inspiring utube videos about exercise. It's so fun pushing ur body to it's limits and feeling yourself get stronger. But on the flip side, i think, what's the point of working out like crazy? i guess it's best to treat it as recreational fun. i really wanna go swimming and i really wanna play basketball. I also miss surfing. I also wanna go snowboarding.. there's a new 24 in lakewood openin in august, so im excited they'll have courts and a pool.
moving to bellflower has been kinda strange. I'm still gettin used to the area. i kinda have a urge to go shopping.. i have a bunch of things i need to get at target.. I need to stop spending so much money!
from this day forward i'm gonna take my diet more seriously. I love a visalus smoothie in the morning.. so good! i think im jus gonna start eating chicken and salad more often. Oh i also wanna make rice soup, (jook).. but i guess too much rice isnt good. i kinda want gogi now.. oh and bbq ribs..
lol its hard to eat right when your stomach craves all sorts of food..
hmm.. okay.. yeah.. so here's what i really wanted to blog about..
I was listening to some worship songs, and worship really opens oneself to God. Sometimes worship can be so cluttered with all this fluff. The best worship is done in humility. The best worship seeks nothing more than to praise God. I like worship songs that have good theological truths. I like songs that focus on the the atonement of Christ. The righteousness that comes through justification. I like songs that are centered around scripture.
We need to make it a habit to worship God. We can worship God in anything that we do. But perhaps the best worship is the time that we intentionally give to God. The best worship involves giving our whole heart and soul. I love when my heart desires nothing but God. For some reason it seems difficult to spend time with God. I think this is why we need to feed ourselves spiritually more consistently. We need more strict accountability. We need fellowship that is invested in each other. We need friends that actually love and care for each other. We need help to do these spiritual disciplines, because we get so easily distracted.
this summer i want to focus on spiritual disciplines. I think i wanna focus on solitude, prayer and rest. Oh and also scripture reading. I struggle to make appointments with God. I struggle to slow myself down and have the patience to seek God. We need to find avenues that draw our attention to God. I think worship songs and jus being alone help. Having free time is great because i can actually listen to sermons! i miss watchin my john piper, mark driscoll, paul washer youtube videos. I also miss listening to waxer tipton back in hawaii. In order to grow closer to God, we need to feed ourselves spiritually by making time for God. We need to make spiritual disciplines habits so that we can open ourselves to hearing God speak to us. We need to make time for worship so that we can enjoy being with God. Being full on God's love leads to joy, which increases faith and leads to action or sanctification. As plants we need to be showered by God's grace, we need to absorb the warmth of His love and we need to be fertilized by His Word. We need stronger roots and a greater dependency on Him.
When we're close to God, we're far from sin. When our minds are consumed by pondering the beauty of the cross we set our hearts on worship mode. The key to loving God is seeing how He first loved us and continues to love us. When we get a taste of His love, we desire Him more.
Abba, help me to slow down. Help me to stay determined, committed and focused on my goals. I want more of you and purity in my life. I want to hate my sin. I want a deeper repentance of sin. I want to grow in fellowship with others and a deeper intimacy with you. I want to hunger and thirst for you because only you truly satisfy. May you be my greatest pleasure, delight and superior joy above all else. Help me to worship you. Help me to fall in deeper love with you daily. God help me to be a witness for you. Help me to shine your love, especially during challenging times. gaurd my thought life. God shut down any pride in my life. Grant me humility. Grant me joyful obedience. Grant me an authentic heart. Help me to be others minded. Help me to sincerely pray for others. Help me to love. Thank you for caring for me as your child. God take my heart, worship and devotion. May these not be empty words. Discipline me, speak to me and help me to spend more time with you. Don't let me waste this summer. Don't let me waste a day. Fill me with peace and joy. Amen.
Monday, June 18, 2012
thoughts
Hallelujah I finished my paper! I officially start summer break! Yay!! Taking classes during summer/winter breaks is exhausting. But in the long run, i'm glad i finished another course. I feel like i'm one step closer to graduating. I don't mind taking a bunch of counseling courses, but i'm not too fond of some of the counseling professors.. Talbot sure has a bunch of requirements for the M.Div. I'm so pooped out. I don't wanna think about how much i'm gonna stress out about learning Hebrew. It's also weird going from a very high level of stress to doing absolutely nothing. lol.. Not having anything hard or important to do beats being super busy any day. I wonder if i should take less credits to focus more on ministry.
I dislike how i freakout and prepare so last minute. I also wish i had more free time during the semesters to focus on my own relationship with God. I always say i don't make enough time for God because "i'm just too busy." Well in actuality we're really never too busy for God. Isn't it weird how we hafta "make" time for God, when he should be the main event of our day. We should have to "make" time for our other responsibilities and get so caught up with being with God. I wonder how strong my convictions are when i say, "oh i need to make more time for God." And then the very next day/week i don't do a single devotion time. Why am i struggling to slow down and meet with God? Why does it seem difficult to grow in my sanctification? Why do i continue to stumble over stupid sins? For the longest time, i believed that focusing on spiritual disciplines will help me draw closer to God. And i still believe that. The hard question now has become, "how do i effectively do spiritual disciplines consistently?"
I always get caught up in this philosophical circle of not knowing how to increase my walk with God. I say, i jus need to do more spiritual disciplines. But in order to do a spiritual discipline, i need the motivation and desire to make the intention. But in order to gain the desire i feel like i need to wait and receive from God, which is in itself a spiritual discipline. Perhaps it comes back to meditating on the gospel. Which again can be consider a spiritual discipline. But as i was reading some old works of Anselm, Augustine, and Athanasius, and i see how much reverence they had. They discussed and debated the nature of Christ, the doctrine of the Trinity and all these deep truths of scripture. It's kinda nice that in our modern day we have such a long history of the church to refer to. But it's kinda crazy how much intense study can go into knowing philosophy, theological doctrines and God's Word. There are so many people who had different beliefs and views of who Jesus was and how God works. It kinda makes me appreciate having good theologians and pastors today who can effectively preach the truth. Sometimes i kinda wish God's Word was a little more clear on certain areas. I find it interesting that God chose to speak through a historical context of other people and through different genres. I wonder if Paul knew his epistle letters would one day become canonized as God's inerrant and inspired Word.
Apologetic Arguments for the Existence of God
Cosmological Argument (everything that exists has a cause)
Teleological Argument (Intelligent Design, Order, Logic)
Anthropological/ Axiological Argument (Morals)
Historical Account of Jesus and Scripture (The empty Tomb, Archeology, Eye witnesses)
Personal Witness of the Holy Spirit (Inner sense of beauty/pleasure of the Divine)
Ontological Argument (There is something greater than we can perceive or imagine)
Family/Friends
Five Guys
Surf City Squeeze
Olive Garden
Ikea
Zippy's Chili
Boot's & Kimo's
Shave Ice
Chicken Katsu Curry
Mochi Ice Cream
Costco Ice Cream
Americone Dream Ice Cream
Lychee
Gogi
Hawaii
Ah how come my blogs always take a turn and become more theological? I guess i don't really like blogging too much about other things i do..
I miss hawaii!
I 'm excited to see my friend Ike
I wanna play basketball
I wanna go to the gym
I wanna go surfing
I wanna workout
I wanna sleep
I wanna go to san diego
I wanna read a comic book
I wanna read a good book cuz i want to and not cuz i hafta
I wanna watch kdramas and superhero shows
I wanna sleep
ahh doo-doo! i left my lychee in the car! its too dark and sketchy outside tho..
oh i forgot to blog about the retreat!
How come our students encounter God at a deeper level at retreats then at regular church services? More people seem impacted by worship, prayer seems more intense, and fellowship seems better. I think we all need a daily dosage and fresh revelation of God's explosive love, not just at retreats.
I was kinda thinkin of some questions, and i'm not completely sure how to really answer these..
If Christ didn't have to be crucified would he die a normal death as a human?
How exactly can Christ be fully man and fully God?
Can someone please explain the Trinity?
If God has divine foreknowledge and is sovereign over everything, how can we really have free will?
If God never changes, how could Christ become human, be forsaken by the Father and then be exalted, if he (God) stands outside of time?
How exactly did the Son maintain fellowship with the Father when He endured the wrath for our sins? Was there a severance in the fellowship?
What is the role of the Son, besides being interceding and being our atonement? Yes He's our King, but do we really experience the person of Jesus, or do we specifically encounter the works of the Father and Holy Spirit more than the Son?
How come we must endure such struggle in our sanctification when God can instantaneously make us like Christ when we are glorified in heaven?
What is heaven like?
Ahh im so tired! zzzz...
I dislike how i freakout and prepare so last minute. I also wish i had more free time during the semesters to focus on my own relationship with God. I always say i don't make enough time for God because "i'm just too busy." Well in actuality we're really never too busy for God. Isn't it weird how we hafta "make" time for God, when he should be the main event of our day. We should have to "make" time for our other responsibilities and get so caught up with being with God. I wonder how strong my convictions are when i say, "oh i need to make more time for God." And then the very next day/week i don't do a single devotion time. Why am i struggling to slow down and meet with God? Why does it seem difficult to grow in my sanctification? Why do i continue to stumble over stupid sins? For the longest time, i believed that focusing on spiritual disciplines will help me draw closer to God. And i still believe that. The hard question now has become, "how do i effectively do spiritual disciplines consistently?"
I always get caught up in this philosophical circle of not knowing how to increase my walk with God. I say, i jus need to do more spiritual disciplines. But in order to do a spiritual discipline, i need the motivation and desire to make the intention. But in order to gain the desire i feel like i need to wait and receive from God, which is in itself a spiritual discipline. Perhaps it comes back to meditating on the gospel. Which again can be consider a spiritual discipline. But as i was reading some old works of Anselm, Augustine, and Athanasius, and i see how much reverence they had. They discussed and debated the nature of Christ, the doctrine of the Trinity and all these deep truths of scripture. It's kinda nice that in our modern day we have such a long history of the church to refer to. But it's kinda crazy how much intense study can go into knowing philosophy, theological doctrines and God's Word. There are so many people who had different beliefs and views of who Jesus was and how God works. It kinda makes me appreciate having good theologians and pastors today who can effectively preach the truth. Sometimes i kinda wish God's Word was a little more clear on certain areas. I find it interesting that God chose to speak through a historical context of other people and through different genres. I wonder if Paul knew his epistle letters would one day become canonized as God's inerrant and inspired Word.
Apologetic Arguments for the Existence of God
Cosmological Argument (everything that exists has a cause)
Teleological Argument (Intelligent Design, Order, Logic)
Anthropological/ Axiological Argument (Morals)
Historical Account of Jesus and Scripture (The empty Tomb, Archeology, Eye witnesses)
Personal Witness of the Holy Spirit (Inner sense of beauty/pleasure of the Divine)
Ontological Argument (There is something greater than we can perceive or imagine)
Family/Friends
Five Guys
Surf City Squeeze
Olive Garden
Ikea
Zippy's Chili
Boot's & Kimo's
Shave Ice
Chicken Katsu Curry
Mochi Ice Cream
Costco Ice Cream
Americone Dream Ice Cream
Lychee
Gogi
Hawaii
Ah how come my blogs always take a turn and become more theological? I guess i don't really like blogging too much about other things i do..
I miss hawaii!
I 'm excited to see my friend Ike
I wanna play basketball
I wanna go to the gym
I wanna go surfing
I wanna workout
I wanna sleep
I wanna go to san diego
I wanna read a comic book
I wanna read a good book cuz i want to and not cuz i hafta
I wanna watch kdramas and superhero shows
I wanna sleep
ahh doo-doo! i left my lychee in the car! its too dark and sketchy outside tho..
oh i forgot to blog about the retreat!
How come our students encounter God at a deeper level at retreats then at regular church services? More people seem impacted by worship, prayer seems more intense, and fellowship seems better. I think we all need a daily dosage and fresh revelation of God's explosive love, not just at retreats.
I was kinda thinkin of some questions, and i'm not completely sure how to really answer these..
If Christ didn't have to be crucified would he die a normal death as a human?
How exactly can Christ be fully man and fully God?
Can someone please explain the Trinity?
If God has divine foreknowledge and is sovereign over everything, how can we really have free will?
If God never changes, how could Christ become human, be forsaken by the Father and then be exalted, if he (God) stands outside of time?
How exactly did the Son maintain fellowship with the Father when He endured the wrath for our sins? Was there a severance in the fellowship?
What is the role of the Son, besides being interceding and being our atonement? Yes He's our King, but do we really experience the person of Jesus, or do we specifically encounter the works of the Father and Holy Spirit more than the Son?
How come we must endure such struggle in our sanctification when God can instantaneously make us like Christ when we are glorified in heaven?
What is heaven like?
Ahh im so tired! zzzz...
Friday, June 15, 2012
Moving
I officially moved out from my apartment at Fullerton. I'm gonna miss the Brea 24 gym. I'm gonna miss the Brea mall and Surf City Squeeze. I'm gonna miss the $2 do-it yourself car wash down the street. Oh and Olive Garden was so close too. More importantly, i'll probably miss my roommate Mike. Even till the last day, he went out of his way to help me find the right table at ikea. We spent like 1.5 hours in there. It kinda made me think about what it'd be like to have my own place one day. Everythin in ikea is so nice and comfortable! We sat on a sofa and talked for 15minutes while ppl walked by, lol. I seriously played and touched with everything like a child in a toy store. I'll miss having mike around cuz he's always spiritually aware of things, and we'd always get into deep conversations of philosophy, human behavior, relationships, theology. Sometimes it's not easy to talk about those things with other people. Not many people are as relational, personal, and a good conversationalist as mike. We all need people in our life who understand us, who we can relate to and connect with. I'm also gonna miss my cats. We'll they were technically never really mine. I wish i spent more time with them before I left. It was sad.
But on the flip side, I just moved everything in my new place in Bellflower, with my good buddy greg. He's out in hawaii with his whole fam bam, so im kinda stuck here alone for the last two days. I spent over 7 hours cleaning and organizing everything yesterday. I cleaned up the rooms, kitchen, the dirty floors, organized my closet (didn't realize how much clothes i have! 133 hangers of shirts!), organized my book shelf (way too many books! 113 on the shelf!), i set up a desk that took forever, i hooked up all the electronics, and also set up a cool fan. But it's difficult because there isn't much space for everything. It feels a little tight in my room with 2 single beds. I counted, and i have 9 pillows and 8 blankets! I think setting up the place, made me feel more comfortable. It kinda relaxed my mind to set up decorations, superhero stuff, glow in the dark stars on the wall, and just feeling the fresh start at a new place. One of the maintenance ladies, knocked on my door this morning, and i kept hearing, "hello!! hello?!!" And apparently she wanted me to move my car, before it got a ticket. So that was nice of her. I think it'll take some time to get used to living here.
Summer Patristic Theology class was brutal. 2 quizzes a day, papers, a final, long 4 hour lectures at 8 in the morning was super hard. But it's finally over. We'll i still hafta write up a paper by Tuesday. I think i did fairly well on the final, so i'm happy i passed the class, and maybe moved my C to a B. Running not stop is exhausting. Inter-term and summer classes really help one to move faster in the curriculum, but man, i jus need a break.
My x-men animated dvd came in the mail. I also have the animated ironman to watch. I already watched superman, and i still have ultimate avengers, young justice, naruto, and comic books to occupy myself. Oh and a kdrama called "Big!" Ah! Lee Min-Jung! lol.. kdramas are only successful because they always pick the most attractive actors/actresses. But it's very interesting to observe the Korean culture through some shows. It helps me get a better understanding of cultural differences and the language. I think the show is pretty funny. But a 30yr old teacher with a 18yr old boy is a little pyante.
I feel like a 5yr old trapped in a 23 yr old body. It's embarrassing to admit how childish i still am. I only wanna have fun, eat lots of food, wake up late, and have my mom take care of me. lol.. Yah, i'm probably a little spoiled. I guess just growing up in Hawaii for 21 years, and then only seeing your family/friends twice a year has been kinda hard. Greg called me and told me he jus finished eating zippy's chili, katsu and their chicken.. Oh i want that so bad! i'm basically living off Visalus. Frozen fruits in a shake taste so good in the morning! I've been so swamped with school, that i've forgotten how much fun it is to not stress out about life.
Our retreat is coming up, and i still don't feel very prepared. Sometimes i think, "Wow your the one teaching about spirituality and God?" "How have you been doing in your relationship with God?" I think i'm the one who needs a retreat. I feel like the physical business has somewhat prevented me from slowing down to seek God. Overly business lays a toll on one's inner peace and spiritual growth. I seriously need to make more time for God. And not so i have something to teach or talk about. But a place where i can jus meet with God, enjoy his love and worship him wholeheartedly.
I miss surfing. I miss a good game of basketball. I miss going to the gym consistently. I miss running and pumping the loud music. I miss swimming laps. I miss the jacuzzi. I miss shaved ice. I miss long summers of jus hanging out and playin video games. Sometimes it's great waking up and having nothing on your agenda except doing what you wanna do. God help me to use my time wisely and to be satisfied in you.
But on the flip side, I just moved everything in my new place in Bellflower, with my good buddy greg. He's out in hawaii with his whole fam bam, so im kinda stuck here alone for the last two days. I spent over 7 hours cleaning and organizing everything yesterday. I cleaned up the rooms, kitchen, the dirty floors, organized my closet (didn't realize how much clothes i have! 133 hangers of shirts!), organized my book shelf (way too many books! 113 on the shelf!), i set up a desk that took forever, i hooked up all the electronics, and also set up a cool fan. But it's difficult because there isn't much space for everything. It feels a little tight in my room with 2 single beds. I counted, and i have 9 pillows and 8 blankets! I think setting up the place, made me feel more comfortable. It kinda relaxed my mind to set up decorations, superhero stuff, glow in the dark stars on the wall, and just feeling the fresh start at a new place. One of the maintenance ladies, knocked on my door this morning, and i kept hearing, "hello!! hello?!!" And apparently she wanted me to move my car, before it got a ticket. So that was nice of her. I think it'll take some time to get used to living here.
Summer Patristic Theology class was brutal. 2 quizzes a day, papers, a final, long 4 hour lectures at 8 in the morning was super hard. But it's finally over. We'll i still hafta write up a paper by Tuesday. I think i did fairly well on the final, so i'm happy i passed the class, and maybe moved my C to a B. Running not stop is exhausting. Inter-term and summer classes really help one to move faster in the curriculum, but man, i jus need a break.
My x-men animated dvd came in the mail. I also have the animated ironman to watch. I already watched superman, and i still have ultimate avengers, young justice, naruto, and comic books to occupy myself. Oh and a kdrama called "Big!" Ah! Lee Min-Jung! lol.. kdramas are only successful because they always pick the most attractive actors/actresses. But it's very interesting to observe the Korean culture through some shows. It helps me get a better understanding of cultural differences and the language. I think the show is pretty funny. But a 30yr old teacher with a 18yr old boy is a little pyante.
I feel like a 5yr old trapped in a 23 yr old body. It's embarrassing to admit how childish i still am. I only wanna have fun, eat lots of food, wake up late, and have my mom take care of me. lol.. Yah, i'm probably a little spoiled. I guess just growing up in Hawaii for 21 years, and then only seeing your family/friends twice a year has been kinda hard. Greg called me and told me he jus finished eating zippy's chili, katsu and their chicken.. Oh i want that so bad! i'm basically living off Visalus. Frozen fruits in a shake taste so good in the morning! I've been so swamped with school, that i've forgotten how much fun it is to not stress out about life.
Our retreat is coming up, and i still don't feel very prepared. Sometimes i think, "Wow your the one teaching about spirituality and God?" "How have you been doing in your relationship with God?" I think i'm the one who needs a retreat. I feel like the physical business has somewhat prevented me from slowing down to seek God. Overly business lays a toll on one's inner peace and spiritual growth. I seriously need to make more time for God. And not so i have something to teach or talk about. But a place where i can jus meet with God, enjoy his love and worship him wholeheartedly.
I miss surfing. I miss a good game of basketball. I miss going to the gym consistently. I miss running and pumping the loud music. I miss swimming laps. I miss the jacuzzi. I miss shaved ice. I miss long summers of jus hanging out and playin video games. Sometimes it's great waking up and having nothing on your agenda except doing what you wanna do. God help me to use my time wisely and to be satisfied in you.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
ὑπομονή
ὑπομονή (hupomonē)
- steadfastness, constancy, endurance
- in the NT the characteristic of a man who is not swerved from his deliberate purpose and his loyalty to faith and piety by even the greatest trials and sufferings
- patiently, and steadfastly
- a patient enduring, sustaining, perseverance
In our walk with God and throughout life in general, we need ὑπομονή, (hoop- o-mo-nay). We need the perseverance to endure trials. God given trials are for our strengthening. It interesting that the author James, tells us to "consider it pure joy.. whenever you face trials." I remember one time I asked God to give me a trial, so that I could trust Him through the midst of it. (In retrospect, that probably wasn't the best thing to pray for). Anywho, I ended up getting sick the day after and everything just became more difficult. The lesson is not to pray for trials, but to be prepared for when they do come, and to have joy that God is the one who will help you through it.
Lately, I've been incredibly exhausted. Yes, this is probably a sign to find rest in God. But it is also a sign to pray for perseverance. God grants us extraordinary strength to endure difficulties; whether it be school, work, goals, relationships, our sanctification, or other responsibilities. I find myself praying for hupomonē a lot. In fact, I believe it pleases God when we can come to Him, and admit that we are too weak on our own sheer efforts/willpower, and that we are in need of the power of His sustaining Spirit. God loves it when we ask for His help. He blesses us when we seek Him according to His sovereign will. God equips us with the means and the energy to accomplish the tasks He has prepared for us.
Lately, I've been incredibly exhausted. Yes, this is probably a sign to find rest in God. But it is also a sign to pray for perseverance. God grants us extraordinary strength to endure difficulties; whether it be school, work, goals, relationships, our sanctification, or other responsibilities. I find myself praying for hupomonē a lot. In fact, I believe it pleases God when we can come to Him, and admit that we are too weak on our own sheer efforts/willpower, and that we are in need of the power of His sustaining Spirit. God loves it when we ask for His help. He blesses us when we seek Him according to His sovereign will. God equips us with the means and the energy to accomplish the tasks He has prepared for us.
We all need consistency in our spiritual life, and in our daily responsibilities. I'm more of a "sprinter" because I can go fast for a short time. I use all my energy and get burnt out. But school, work, ministry, relationships, and our faith in God, is more like a marathon. We need a steady pace to continue running and to be faithful to what God has called us to.
We need to run with purpose. We need to train ourselves to grow in self-discipline but with dependency on God. When God is our treasure and our prize we set our eyes on, He provides us with the fruit of the Spirit to keep going. Exhausted? Tired? Weary? Pooped out? Find rest in God and pray for perseverance.
I guess this is a long way of saying i need to go do my homework.. lol -_-"
___________
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. -James 1:2-4
"Therefore, since we are
surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off
everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us
run with perseverance the race marked out for us,
fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the
joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat
down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." -Hebrews 12:1-3
"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.
Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do
it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that
will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air.
No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I
have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the
prize." 1 Cor. 9:24-27
"But I will sing of your strength,
in the morning I will sing of your love;
for you are my fortress,
my refuge in times of trouble.
You are my strength, I sing praise to you;
you, God, are my fortress,
my God on whom I can rely." - Psalm 59:16-17
"But I will sing of your strength,
in the morning I will sing of your love;
for you are my fortress,
my refuge in times of trouble.
You are my strength, I sing praise to you;
you, God, are my fortress,
my God on whom I can rely." - Psalm 59:16-17
"He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:29-31
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:29-31
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Rest, Peace, & Strength
Sometimes it's hard to find balance in life. Do you ever feel like it's hard to juggle responsibilities? How can you really give your all to something when there are so many other things to accomplish and do?
I feel like i've been running on a treadmill and it's at max speed. I've grown exhausted because even when i do find time to rest, i'm worried or anxious about the coming day. I feel like productivity has somewhat become an idol. Our culture tells us to load as much as we can do so we can can ahead and be successful. There is some truth to that, however, I don't believe we're supposed to put our walk with God on the back burner. When we are overly busy, we make less time for God and spiritual disciplines. We keep pushing ourselves to do as much as we can and more. We can kill ourselves with academics and work. We say God and family are the most important values in our life, but how much time is really given to spend with them? My point is that there may be a danger in trying to accomplish too much. We crave achievement for ourselves. Yes we should strive to do our best, but not at the expense of our relationship with God. Sometimes i think about the word "relationship" and i think, do i have this "relationship" with God? Do i truly depend on Him? Do i pray and communicate to Him? Do i make time to listen and read His Word? Sometimes God seems so abstract, that it can be difficult to have the patience to seek Him.
I propose we give our all to God. We must give God all that we are. Practically how can we do this? First off, it might start with acknowledging who God is, how loving our God is. It starts by seeing the beauty of the Gospel and the grace that cleanses our sins. Secondly, there needs to be an invitation of the Holy Spirit. God needs to help us in our daily spiritual disciplines. We need to depend on God and walk with Him. Transformation comes relationally.
Perhaps it seems difficult to hear God or sense God, because we're distracted by other desires. Instead of work, school, food, sleep, friends, internet, media, and other hobbies, we are to give ourselves entirely to God. This may require some sacrifice from other areas. Instead of filling our plates with busyness we are to put our spiritual life first. It's extremely difficult to live for God when we're too busy trying to live by the standards of our world and society. Money isn't everything. Degrees are not our highest accomplishments and achievements. Personal character, holiness, and giving our worship to God needs to be our first priority. He must be above all else.
When we are spiritual dry, empty, exhausted, burnt-out, and just plain tired, it's hard to love, serve and give our attention to anything. God must be our source of strength. We must be deeply rooted, satisfied, contented and engulfed in the love of God. I am resolved to make more time for God. I need to figure out a way to free myself up from demanding responsibilities. I need to focus on spiritual disciplines like simplicity, rest, slowing, relinquishment, meditation, contemplation, and prayer. I basically suck at doing daily devotions, and I need to figure out a way that I can commit to something simple enough for me to do.
Since Spring semester just finished, i felt like i had a short breathe of air to relax and not worry about school. I'm pretty sure there's a link between physical exercise and spiritual exercise. Working out and releasing stress and just moving my body seems to help clear my mind. It feels good to release energy out in weights, basketball or swimming. Fellowship is always extremely important. But sometimes alone time with God is much more intimate.
I watched a movie called "Chronicles" and it was about these teenagers who got superpowers. But towards the second half of the movie, it got dark. One of the kids had an abusive father, and it led to a lot of anger and hatred. It just made me think how important family, community and a support system is. The character was a good example of someone who felt misunderstood, lonely and didn't receive much love from others. As Christians we need to practice giving and receiving love.
God help me surrender my stresses and anxieties. Help me to be more intentional with my time. God i pray that i would be able to give my full attention to you. Gaurd me from getting tangled up in sins, idols and distractions. Help me to love others. Give me the patience and energy to accomplish the responsibilities you've entrusted me with. Help me be a good steward of my life. Father fill me with your Spirit and use me for your purposes. Help me to die to myself. I pray that your desires would become my desires. I want to know you more. I want to be closer. Help me when i am too weak. Help me to just sit at the foot of the cross, to see your glory and to embrace your love. Father comfort me when i grow weary. Energize me, teach me, and grant me self-control. God help me to be more disciplined. May i find rest, peace and strength in you. Amen.
I feel like i've been running on a treadmill and it's at max speed. I've grown exhausted because even when i do find time to rest, i'm worried or anxious about the coming day. I feel like productivity has somewhat become an idol. Our culture tells us to load as much as we can do so we can can ahead and be successful. There is some truth to that, however, I don't believe we're supposed to put our walk with God on the back burner. When we are overly busy, we make less time for God and spiritual disciplines. We keep pushing ourselves to do as much as we can and more. We can kill ourselves with academics and work. We say God and family are the most important values in our life, but how much time is really given to spend with them? My point is that there may be a danger in trying to accomplish too much. We crave achievement for ourselves. Yes we should strive to do our best, but not at the expense of our relationship with God. Sometimes i think about the word "relationship" and i think, do i have this "relationship" with God? Do i truly depend on Him? Do i pray and communicate to Him? Do i make time to listen and read His Word? Sometimes God seems so abstract, that it can be difficult to have the patience to seek Him.
I propose we give our all to God. We must give God all that we are. Practically how can we do this? First off, it might start with acknowledging who God is, how loving our God is. It starts by seeing the beauty of the Gospel and the grace that cleanses our sins. Secondly, there needs to be an invitation of the Holy Spirit. God needs to help us in our daily spiritual disciplines. We need to depend on God and walk with Him. Transformation comes relationally.
Perhaps it seems difficult to hear God or sense God, because we're distracted by other desires. Instead of work, school, food, sleep, friends, internet, media, and other hobbies, we are to give ourselves entirely to God. This may require some sacrifice from other areas. Instead of filling our plates with busyness we are to put our spiritual life first. It's extremely difficult to live for God when we're too busy trying to live by the standards of our world and society. Money isn't everything. Degrees are not our highest accomplishments and achievements. Personal character, holiness, and giving our worship to God needs to be our first priority. He must be above all else.
When we are spiritual dry, empty, exhausted, burnt-out, and just plain tired, it's hard to love, serve and give our attention to anything. God must be our source of strength. We must be deeply rooted, satisfied, contented and engulfed in the love of God. I am resolved to make more time for God. I need to figure out a way to free myself up from demanding responsibilities. I need to focus on spiritual disciplines like simplicity, rest, slowing, relinquishment, meditation, contemplation, and prayer. I basically suck at doing daily devotions, and I need to figure out a way that I can commit to something simple enough for me to do.
Since Spring semester just finished, i felt like i had a short breathe of air to relax and not worry about school. I'm pretty sure there's a link between physical exercise and spiritual exercise. Working out and releasing stress and just moving my body seems to help clear my mind. It feels good to release energy out in weights, basketball or swimming. Fellowship is always extremely important. But sometimes alone time with God is much more intimate.
I watched a movie called "Chronicles" and it was about these teenagers who got superpowers. But towards the second half of the movie, it got dark. One of the kids had an abusive father, and it led to a lot of anger and hatred. It just made me think how important family, community and a support system is. The character was a good example of someone who felt misunderstood, lonely and didn't receive much love from others. As Christians we need to practice giving and receiving love.
God help me surrender my stresses and anxieties. Help me to be more intentional with my time. God i pray that i would be able to give my full attention to you. Gaurd me from getting tangled up in sins, idols and distractions. Help me to love others. Give me the patience and energy to accomplish the responsibilities you've entrusted me with. Help me be a good steward of my life. Father fill me with your Spirit and use me for your purposes. Help me to die to myself. I pray that your desires would become my desires. I want to know you more. I want to be closer. Help me when i am too weak. Help me to just sit at the foot of the cross, to see your glory and to embrace your love. Father comfort me when i grow weary. Energize me, teach me, and grant me self-control. God help me to be more disciplined. May i find rest, peace and strength in you. Amen.
Monday, May 21, 2012
Summer Begins
I feel like i can finally breathe!
I pumped out a 16pg paper today!
turn it in on wednesday
Sunghwa's graduation
Summer schooool starts next monday already!?
Sunghwa's bday
college retreat?
family youth retreat
isaac comes up
move into gregs apt
hawaii!
"I am thankful and excited for the break
But it worries me too.
I want to use my time wisely
When was last time that i truely was delighted by God's word?
I want to be able to enjoy his presence in my life.
아ㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏ" -reba
ditto
"However, I consider my
life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete
the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good
news of God’s grace." -Acts 20:24
What i learned from my classes this semester
Issues and Ethics Class
You can get sued if your not negligent or competent as a pastoral counselor
lol we basically went over all the different ways to protect yourself
i really need to make consent forms for ministry..
Apologetics Class
Cosmological Argument
Axiological (Moral) Argument
Teleological (Intellegent Design) Argument
Historicity of Jesus and Scripture
Witness of the Holy Spirit
The Problem of Evil
Religious Pluralism
Naturalism (only nature exist)
Scientism (scientific method only)
Epistemology (study of knowledge)
Theology 3 Class
Christology (doctrine of Christ)
harmatology (doctrine of sin)
pneumatology (doctrine of Holy Spirit)
Perspectives Mission Class
Reaching the nations by assimilating to other cultures
understanding your role in missions
the amount of people who are unreached
how to effectively plant churches and build relationships
how to multiply yourself in training leaders
the need for praying for other religions, ethnic people groups
It's been a long semester. It was a lot harder than i expected it to be. The last few weeks had way more papers than i hoped for. The 18pg mission paper and the 16pg apologetic paper almost killed me. But now im finally done! but i cant believe Patristic Theology for summer school starts next week! i jus wanna move out and go to hawaii! its been so hot hur lately! .. im gonna miss my cats! Least crystal is gonna have her puppy and i can play with it all day!
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Slowing Down
“The badge of busyness we so proudly wear is a demon of our times. Our competitive, survival of the fittest culture is unabashedly performance-driven. And so are we in the church. We find our identity and measure our worth in what and how much we accomplish.” -Bruce Demarest
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Renewed Conviction
I jus watched a movie called ""Beyond the Next Mountain." It was about how a missionary went to a people called the Hmar tribe in India and spoke the Gospel of Jesus Christ in their language. He gave them a Bible in English but they couldn't understand it. A generation goes by and a father sends his son to go find someone to translate the "book" in their own language. So the boy goes off into the jungle equipped with some rice and bread. He finds another village that offers an elementary English class. then he goes to the "outside world" to find someone to translate the Bible. He gets caught up in a business of selling cigarettes, and his dad finds him on the streets caught up in worldly things. The boy becomes resolved to commit to his father's task of translating the Bible for his Hmar tribe people. He eventually talks to the prime minister and is given a scholarship to study in London, and then eventually America. It's funny how simple he is and how culture shocked he gets. He tries hard to resist falling into all the different opportunities and distractions. Oh btw, this whole time he writes letters to this girl he met back in his tribe. They eventually get married and teach English. But anyways.. the guy begins to study Greek and Hebrew, and after 3 years of dedicating himself to the translation he finishes. The guy is so happy he starts dancing like a bird and sings praises to God. He then mails it home to his tribe. His dad somehow makes copies for everyone in the tribe. The dad goes up to the mountain where he prays everyday, and finally holds up God's Word translated in his own language. It got super emotional because it showed how much he valued and cherished God's precious truth of the Gospel. The translated Bible later spread to other tribes in India. He then late becomes president of some Bible translation place and mails Bibles to everyone. Towards the end of the movie, he meets the missionary who first spoke the Gospel to his dad and tribe. The missionary is astonished at how his little seeds flourished and produced fruits of conversion in India.
Too often we forget the power of the Bible and Prayer. We take it for granted. The truth of eternal life in Jesus Christ is more precious than gold and silver. When i'm 80, i want to look back on my life and see that i not only invested my life into growing in God's Word and in prayer, but that i also invested into loving those around me. It's so easy to get caught up in idols in America. It's so easy to turn to and depend on other things. In our pride, we try to satisfy ourselves with our lusts and we try to feed ourselves with inadequate substitutes. The answer is seeking intimacy with God and receiving His grace through faith. He is the only one who can truly satisfy our souls. What are we giving our lives to? When we look back on life, what will we have invested our lives into? Is there anything more important than enjoying the riches of God's love and sharing this good news with others?
I was talking to this woman, and she asked me, "How did you come to know the Lord." I told her my brief testimony. Then i asked, "How about you?" She began to tell me of when she was young and she her a sermon by Chuck Swindoll at EV Free Fullerton. She remembers him preaching out of Isaiah 6, and learning about God's holiness. She said she began to shake because at that moment she began to see how holy God really is. She began to talk about God's attributes and how she knew she needed to commit her life to God and take Him more seriously. She said, "I could no longer afford to take God lightly." She saw God and who He is in nature. By gaining a greater knowledge of who God is, one is given a greater sense of reverence, worship and awe. Paul says in Philippians 3:7, "I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord." Nothing is more important than personally knowing God and growing in knowledge of Him. And with that head knowledge, we are given the heart knowledge to receive Him into our lives more and more. As Christians we need to take our walk more seriously. We cannot take sin lightly. We need to die to our sin and flesh and walk in the freedom of the Holy Spirit.
“My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water." -Jeremiah 2:13
"Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith." -Hebrews 12:1-2
"Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord." -Corinthians 15:58
"The LORD also will be a stronghold for the oppressed,
A stronghold in times of trouble;
And those who know Your name will put their trust in You,
For You, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You." -Psalm 9:9-10
Too often we forget the power of the Bible and Prayer. We take it for granted. The truth of eternal life in Jesus Christ is more precious than gold and silver. When i'm 80, i want to look back on my life and see that i not only invested my life into growing in God's Word and in prayer, but that i also invested into loving those around me. It's so easy to get caught up in idols in America. It's so easy to turn to and depend on other things. In our pride, we try to satisfy ourselves with our lusts and we try to feed ourselves with inadequate substitutes. The answer is seeking intimacy with God and receiving His grace through faith. He is the only one who can truly satisfy our souls. What are we giving our lives to? When we look back on life, what will we have invested our lives into? Is there anything more important than enjoying the riches of God's love and sharing this good news with others?
I was talking to this woman, and she asked me, "How did you come to know the Lord." I told her my brief testimony. Then i asked, "How about you?" She began to tell me of when she was young and she her a sermon by Chuck Swindoll at EV Free Fullerton. She remembers him preaching out of Isaiah 6, and learning about God's holiness. She said she began to shake because at that moment she began to see how holy God really is. She began to talk about God's attributes and how she knew she needed to commit her life to God and take Him more seriously. She said, "I could no longer afford to take God lightly." She saw God and who He is in nature. By gaining a greater knowledge of who God is, one is given a greater sense of reverence, worship and awe. Paul says in Philippians 3:7, "I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord." Nothing is more important than personally knowing God and growing in knowledge of Him. And with that head knowledge, we are given the heart knowledge to receive Him into our lives more and more. As Christians we need to take our walk more seriously. We cannot take sin lightly. We need to die to our sin and flesh and walk in the freedom of the Holy Spirit.
“My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water." -Jeremiah 2:13
"Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith." -Hebrews 12:1-2
"Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord." -Corinthians 15:58
"The LORD also will be a stronghold for the oppressed,
A stronghold in times of trouble;
And those who know Your name will put their trust in You,
For You, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You." -Psalm 9:9-10
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