Lately ive been contemplating why does God allow us to fall away? How come we cant stay super close to Him all the time? How come some days we are filled with the spirit, and other days we arnt so much? Why does he allow us to be tempted, and jus not let us sin anymore? Its because this shows our weakness. This shows how deprived we are without Him. If we didnt struggle with anything and had no problems, we'd be perfect, and therefore wouldnt need God. He continues to show us, that we are only but mere men, and that we really really do need Him.
So i had a really lazy and unproductive day. I didnt get anything done in the day, when i could have went surfing, exercised, finished school work, or met up with some people. But i was too lazy, and wasted a day. So while i was lying on the ground like a lazy sloth. i was told to go run. And no1 likes running.. so as i began running around my neighborhood i got to stare at the vast night sky, which never ceases to amaze me, oh and i also got to bark with some dogs, lol, But yah, anyways.. i was pondering "Why cant we always stay super close to God?" and as i was running up this hill, it kept getting steeper, and at each corner it looked longer, higher and impossible to continue. I started to huff and puff, (no i didnt blow a house down) but i got extremely exhausted. I wanted to quit running. I wanted to stop. I couldnt do it anymore. But then, i kept looking towards the goal, which was the top end of the street. My heart was out of energy, and i wanted to collapse, but something kept telling me to go on. At that point, i realized that although i was pooped out, I still wanted to finish the run without stopping. And it was then i saw how desperate i was to reach that last street light pole. Then this sudden rush of power n strength kicked in, and i was able to finish.
This run symbolizes our "run" with God. Yes we do hafta stop sometimes, because we're running on our own energy, and not filled with God's Spirit. We get burnt out when we begin to rely on ourselves. Sometimes our lives get so busy, we forget to fill up on God. We forget how important it is to spend time in His word, soak up in His spirit, and meditate in prayer. Often times we try to make it on our own, only to realize that we arnt strong enough. We do everything possible to make it on our own, and use every effort to climb up to God, and then we realize we cant do it by ourselves. And i learned that, God comes down upon us, when we are most desperate seeking Him. Thats when God kicks in the nitro and takes over. Instead of being self controlled, its better to be God controlled.
He doesnt like it when His sheep run astray, but allows them to go take their own path. The prodigal son can never outrun the grace of the Father. Once the sheep gets lost, scared, empty, deprived, and desperate for rescue, then God comes and shepherds us back. In the same way a man rejoices when he finds his lost coin, so does God rejoice when we come back to Him. We have gone and spent our inheritance, we are left with nothing, and then we see how much we really do need God. And God forgives us, bringing us back, and clothing us with His almighty love.
It really has been a battle for me lately. I was caught fighting temptations and distractions unguarded. I forgot to equip myself with God's holy armor. I actually sensed a few spiritual battles, and it felt really weird. Even some friends at epic said they felt something was up. But yeah, I fell into laziness big time. My physical, mental, spiritual life got weak. I got super sick, and drifted away from the fruits of the spirit. I lost intimacy. I didnt make time to spend time with Him. I didnt extremely desire, or seek Him. I honestly wasn't desperate enough for Him.
Yes hanging out with cool christian kids helps, but i cant rely on my friends for God. I cant rely on my church or pastors to stir up my heart. although they can encourage us. The only one we should completely rely on is God Himself. We find Him only through faith, repentance, prayer, His word, and most especially His love. We need to focus only on Him. Boast only on the cross. So that our lives would reflect Him and that we would glorify and worship Him in every little thing we do. We need to be drunk and addicted on God!
In order to stay close to God, we must continue to humble ourselves and die to ourselves. We need to be weak so God can be strong, and we need to be little so that God can be BIG. We need to change our minds, kill our pride n lustful desires. We can't ever think we're doing enough, or we're close enough. We need to constantly ask ourselves, What can i do to improve? What am i struggling with? What's getting in the way? What's pulling me back most? How can i take one step closer to God? How can i spend more time with Him? How can i be more intimate in my relationship with Him? What are my priorities? What do I want to stand for? What do i value most? What is God's will? This is sanctification, in which we should never stop doing.
Dear God,
Thank you for your amazing love! Thank you sending your Son to die for our sins. Thank you for life. Thank you for blessing us with such wonderful creation. Thank you for breathing into me your Holy Spirit. Help us to be grateful. Help us to see you. Be in our thoughts and dreams. Teach us your ways. Thank you for always taking us back, and forgiving us of all our wrongs. You are so great Lord, that whenever we start to drift away, you pull us right back. How great is your love oh Lord! You are everything that is good. You reign over heaven and earth. You are truly amazing. We are absolutely nothing without you oh God. We are so desperate for you. We proclaim you as ruler and king of our lives. Take my life oh Lord. Take everything that i am. I no longer want to live for myself. Destroy my sinful ways. Continue to stir up new life in our hearts. Direct us onto paths of righteousness. May we not seek to please ourselves, or please others, but help us to please only you. Its all about you oh God. It's all about your crazy love. Your love covers a multitude of our sins. Let us walk in your love. Let us be clothed with your love. Let us sing of ur everlasting love. Help us when we fall, Help us when our faith or spirit grows weak. Help us to desire you more, so we can spend more time with you. I pray for those who dont yet know you. Open their eyes, show them your glory. Heal our land, bring revival, reformation and awakening. Lord i pray that more and more would come to you. Break hardened hearts, transform lives, and pour out your love on this planet. That every knee would bow, and praise you! Let us find rest, peace and joy in you oh Lord. Lord hear our prayers! We are so desperate and hungry for you God!! I love you Lord, you are so good! Amen!
"Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." -Ps 73:25-26
"He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful." -1Cor 1:8
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not put out the Spirit's fire; do not treat prophecies with contempt. Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil. May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it." -1 Thes 5:16-24
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