Trust II

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Heb. 11:1

There was a sitcom called the Brady Bunch. Their intro song is still embedded in my mind. Anyways.. in one episode the Father was working on some blueprint plans in the living room. Marcia couldn't see it from afar. So she tiptoed closer and closer until she could see them over his shoulder. As we draw closer to our Heavenly Father, we also get a better view of His plans for us.

Much of his foundational/ general will has already been revealed to us in His word. He wants us to come to Christ. He wants our hearts. In regards to His specific will, sometimes He chooses to not let us know it all. It requires us to trust and take daily steps of faith. It's okay to not know where we'll be ten years from now. it's ok not to know.

I used to think that verse Isaiah 55:9, "His ways are higher than our ways, and his thoughts are higher than our thoughts," was just a cop out answer to not understanding his divine mysteries. But really.. it's about trusting that God knows best and has the best plans for us. You know that Jer. 29:11 verse everyone quotes about, "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future..?" like yeah he does.. but we kinda skip the verses like right before that, that talk about how God carried his people into exile and captivity in Babylon for seventy years!

Sometimes kicking us outside of our comfort zone, suffering and trials are part of His sovereign will. He allows these things so that we can acknowledge and repent of our sin / idols. And in this sanctifying process He purifies us, strengthens us, and grows us closer to the likeness of Christ. God's plan is for us to pursue holiness and righteousness. That's so much easier said then done. But that's why we need to depend on the Father, Son and Holy Spirit to help us.

Question.. is it possible to place our hope and trust in God for things that we're not quite sure he'll do? like.. i know we can place our faith in knowing God will bring about his promise of salvation. but like what about things we don't know if he'll do or not. im tryin to learn to trust God with my past, present and future. trying to trust that God will make me be the person he's called me to be. i realized that ive been putting a lot of my faith in myself and not really in God's power. God always can, but it doesn't mean he will. 

And if God doesn't quite heal and restore a friendship in the way i'd hope for, provide in the way we expect, or reveal detailed plans of our future, then he reminds me that everything will be okay anyway. Even when things suck.. God is still good.  i've made some really immature and stupid mistakes lately, because i think i can solve problems on my own. i get frustrated when i can't fix something or make things right. not being able to reconcile with someone interrupts my sense of peace. like.. when someone's made at u or hates you, u jus feel like u suck as a person. when we hurt ppl, we usually feel guilty. And sometimes friendships take a long time to heal, or they just poop out completely. but God reminds me that his grace is greater than my sin. He can repair things that we can't. and again, even if things don't work out, we know that God is still with us and that he can give us peace even in the midst of loss and brokenness.

Our future doesn't need to be dictated by our past. We can choose to live more abundant and joyful lives by trusting God. We can be as close to God as we want to.. it's jus a matter of seeking him with all our heart, soul and strength. We'll all make our handful of stupid mistakes, we'll all have heartache and pain. But these are opportunities to trust that God is still God. God doesn't necessarily want to jus give us easy lives. He wants us to grow. actually.. he really just wants our heart. so he reveals sin and idols in our life, and then draws us back into fellowship with him. what a loving and patient God. so full of grace.. The more we see our ugly sins. The more beauty i see in God's grace.

i guess when u really do reach the very end of yourself, God reveals himself as our answer. he's patient like that. he shows us that we jus crash and burn when we do things on jus our sheer efforts. and then he waits till we're ready to come to him. im tired of living on my own willpower. God showed me that i need to jus give up my own chaotic efforts, and just surrender, trusting that God's ways are better than my ways. i realized that i really do need to begin trusting God in all areas of my life.

dear papa God
uhm.. i know ive been a little absent lately, but i miss how i used to be closer to u. i kno i kinda ran off in my own direction, but please draw me back. remind me of ur super awesome love. mm.. could u also pls help fix the things i broke? please heal those ive hurt. help me to be more faithful and to trust you in all things. help me to surrender my selfish desires, and submit to your will. God i really screwed up, help me to live with my consequences. help me to learn from my mistakes. restore my heart and soul. i want to make you first, but i struggle to do that daily. remind me of my need for you, and that it's u that ultimately satisfy me. God.. im so lost without you. speak to me father. block out all the other noisy distractions in my head. Be with those i care about, and also the people i dont really pray for much too. help me to love and become selfless. i want to pray in stronger faith and confidence, knowing that you listen to my supplication request. help me to lay down my life and my stubborn pride. God give me peace of mind, i usually get too many thoughts floating around cluttering my quiet times. pls give me self-control and discipline to be better. help me to be okay even if things aren't really okay. help me to be more Christ centered instead of being so chris centered. please fill me with joy, give me spiritual rest and energy to get through each day. help those who are hurting, who are hungry or lonely. Could you help strengthen my faith and remind me that your there sometimes? help me to trust u even when i cant always sense ur presence. sorry im asking u for so much, i jus really need u back as the center of my life. so yah.. thanks for being awesome