wonderment

there's something about wonder and amazement that's connected with joy.
 Have you ever experienced something so simple, yet you found yourself overwhelmed and delighted with joy? i cant quite explain it. Today was jus full of wonder and joy. It's like being able to dance even when theres no music playing. I found happiness in laughter and humor. I was crackin up at a tv show called Brooklyn Nine-Nine, i jus couldnt stop laughing. so silly.

I found contentment, bliss, and peace, but im not exactly sure how. I found pleasure through friendships and simple conversations. I saw pure beauty through nature and animals, (lol mainly my sleeping cat). I tasted awesome food that makes u take a second to appreciate life itself. seriously, like.. awesome food is concrete evidence for the existence of God lol. now that i think about it.. our greatest joy and happiness comes from God. but sometimes we forget to acknowledge that he's the giver of these blessings.

I'm not quite sure why im analyzing and observing my emotions today. it's probably because im not used to feeling this happy very often. Perhaps i just got used to living with all my negative emotions and thoughts. I think it's kinda interesting how we dont really have much control over our thoughts and emotions. With our limited control, how can we direct our thoughts on higher things, spiritual things, positive things? How can we conform our will and emotions to God's heart and desires? Sanctification is growing in the likeness of Christ, and in order to become more Christ-like we must feel the same way God feels. a deep compassion for people, a hatred for sin, and a desire for his glory.

God is love. When we receive this love it drives out our fears, anxieties and worries. there's just this abundant joy that comes from being with him and spending your day with him. I learned to see others how God sees them. But today i learned to see myself the way God sees me. You learn to love yourself. You learn to have grace and forgiveness for yourself.

I realized that the people i enjoy the most, are the ones where we don't even need to talk. Does that make sense? Like.. sometimes it's jus nice to spend a full minute enjoying the moment and the presence of another.

It's amazing how a song can uplift your spirits too. i think we easily get distracted by technology and trying to get things accomplished that we often miss to see the beauty in small things. today i jus blocked out all the negative anxiety, problems and worries about life. i think i spend way too much energy worrying about illegitimate fears. i started thinking. is it possible to find joy and wonder in everything? i think when we have a perspective of gratitude and contentment, we find joy and peace. And in the midst of that, we find God as the source and giver of those virtues.

i think i consider myself very child like because i really enjoy playing and creating. Sometimes i like to play so much that i completely avoid any form of work lol. but if u observe children, they find joy and laughter in the most simplest of things. They dont worry about the past or the future, they simply enjoy the present.

I found myself unable to stop smiling a few times today. sounds kinda obvious but, it feels good to be happy. It's amazing how contagious happiness and joy can be. A candle loses nothing by lighting another. When we're deeply satisfied in and with God, our heart automatically desires to worship and praise him. I noticed that i never intend to blog about God or spiritual things, but usually end up going that way. I'm wondering if everything good in our lives ultimately derives from God. I think that statement would be true. 

we really are our own worst critic. I think im starting to change my view of myself. Im starting to kill any negative self talk towards myself. I know i can usually be very pessimistic and pick at all the negatives. I can easily point out all my flaws within myself. But someone reminded me today that im perfectly incomplete. We're all a work in progress, and God accepts us and loves us because we're his.

i know these lessons kinda sound no brainer, but theyre things i need to relearn. I normally try so hard to fix all my insecurities and issues. I become obsessed with sanctification and trying to overcome discouragement. I have so many resolves, ideals and high expectations for myself that it causes morbidity. So.. instead of tryin so hard to fix myself, i must relearn to simply receive from God. And it is the power of God's love that changes, transforms, restores and heals us.

Instead of seeing the world in black and greys, i think God can give us supernatural sight to see an entirely different world filled with bright colors. Sometimes i can see beyond this physical world. I feel like i can see the invisible and metaphysical at times. And it's there i find wonderment.