So i guess now that it's a new year that means we're supposed to be super resolved and goal orientated right? i think every year i cant help but reflect on where i am in life and where i'm headed. Sometimes it doesn't seem like i'm headed anywhere. Sometimes it feels like i'm moving backwards more than forwards. However, sometimes it's necessary to take a step back, so we learn how to get back on our feet when we're down. Even if we do move backwards, there are lessons to be learned and just gaining a deeper understanding of ourselves can be something positive.
It really does take a lot of intentional effort and willpower to push yourself towards positive change and growth. Sometimes i feel like im just crawling through life in the dark lol. And then for a brief moment i see the Chris who i want to be, the Chris i want to pursue in becoming. Then i ask myself, "Now how can I get there? What's stopping me from becoming my best self? What changes do i need to make? What can I do to make progress?" If you could, why not become the best version of yourself?
Why not be the best version of yourself? Because it takes sacrifice, dedication, commitment and hard work. It takes consistency and training. Part of growth is suffering and the willingness to endure pain, its called perseverance and a lot of discipline.
I see how hard most of our parents have worked, and i definitely wouldn't have survived their generation. We've generally been given a very comfortable life. But we don't really grow when we stay within our comfort-zone. Change is often fighting and battling against ourselves. We have to overcome our insecurities, negativity and self-doubts. We have to pep talk ourselves. We may have to force ourselves to do things we may not want to do in the present but it's for the greater good in the long run. If we're more future oriented, we'll delay our gratification and work hard because the reward is worth it. Most changes, like killing our bad habits and replacing them with new ones, takes a lot of time. But over time it gets easier.
My word for this year will be Confidence! i feel im at my best when im most confident. it's too easy to give into self-doubt, worry and fear. But when we have faith and confidence, life doesnt seem so scary. Sure, we may not be where we're supposed to be, but hey one day we can get there. We dont need to be afraid of approaching people in conversation (or what they might think), we dont need to be afraid of taking new risk, and being bold to speak up.
Self-efficacy is essentially believing we can succeed. it's believing we can overcome our challenges and achieve our goals. It's believing we have the capacity and ability to accomplish specific tasks. The little engine who could, the children's train, kept saying, "I think i can, i think i can." And this belief in his ability helped pushed him to success.
If i could go to costco and buy a big box full of instant self-discipline i would. If i could order a package of self-love and self-confidence from amazon, i would buy a lot. But these things cannot be bought. They do not come instantly, or easily.
For the most part, we all generally want to be better humans, but how many of us are willing to work for our best-selves? We do not wake up one day immediately transformed. It's the day to day grind that counts. brick by brick. And that's why our long term health goals and change are hard. When i look at great athletes and those that are successful. I see that they earned it. they worked hard for it. they sacrificed, and put off distractions. They put hours and hours into working on their craft or skill. They say to become really good at something, u need to put in at least 10,000 hours of it, which is like 10 years. What is it that we really want? How bad do we really want it? Why is it so important to us?
I keep relearning the importance of loving ourselves. Loving myself. It can be so simple and yet also very difficult. lol. There's so many things i don't like about myself, there's so many things i don't have.. how am i to love myself?? To me, i feel good about myself when im making progress. i seem to dread myself when im unproductive, extremely lazy, fall into bad habits, become irresponsible, and yadayadayada..
but here's a big "aha" moment. If we truly learn to value ourselves and see our self-worth, we gain a positive outlook and a confidence in ourselves, we no longer need to keep looking outside of ourselves for things that we dont have to magically make us happy. We can be complete and whole if we love and value ourselves, because if we do care about ourselves, we'll make better choices, have a positive perspective, invest in healthy relationships, and take care of our health. And God helps us in our weaknesses and gives us the power to change and to grow. It's his deep love for us that empowers us to love ourselves and others.
An important side worth noting is, i dont think we can become ourselves without others around us. I think we all desperately need solid friendships. It's the people we surround ourselves with that will call us out on things and encourage us. Imagine being your best self with no one to engage with, what good is that?
I usually see health as very holistic. I see spiritual, emotional, physical, mental, and relational health as very interrelated and connected. I feel pretty stable and average in all these areas but i'd like to be thriving and flourishing. The only area i've been consistent at is physical health.
In the past 6 months i've somehow kept physical exercise in my routine. Going to the gym 2-3 times a week is such a big stress reliever for me. i dont know all the biochemistry behind it, but there's jus something so therapeutic about sports and physical exercise. It's a little easier once you make it a habit. Between work and school, i always feels super exhausted that all my free time is just vegging out like a couch potato. hopefully i can keep up the consistency in hitting the gym, its the one thing im actually doing decently. If u ever observe a gym rat, its not that they enjoy pushing a bunch of heavy weights. They have the will to fight and endure to pursue becoming stronger, to become better. In the same way, we can exercise our mind and our spirit.
I've also been staying away from sugary drinks and been trying to eat a little healthier. protein shakes and water for life! Getting the right nutrition can be difficult since there's not always convenient healthy foods to eat. I think the trick is to stack your fridge with a bunch of healthy snacks and good tasting food. Healthier choices will develop healthier habits.
So one of my new years resolutions is to be more involved in church ministry and community. I'm kind of a introverted hermit crab and can be pretty content just playing video games like a kid. I used to think, i can be perfectly fine without people. To a certain extent i would be, but eventually we'll see that we are meant to connect and grow with others. i could definitely use a stronger support system of friends, i mean life is all about relationships right? To me, church covers Spiritual, emotional, relational health pretty good. lately im jus horrible at sleeping and waking up early.
hmm.. some other personal goals would include self-discipline, being more present, and being more positive. These have been themes in my life lately and definitely still need to work on these areas. Staying motivated and knowing the "why" of our goals is important, but it's all meaningless if we don't have the consistent discipline to hold ourselves to our own goals and rules. We generally know what we should do, yet often lack the discipline to follow through. i guess this takes a lot of self-control and accountability.
The less self-critical we are on ourselves, the more confident we can be. Change takes intentionality. Sometimes just changing our negative thoughts into positive affirmation statements can be a big help. Sometimes just smiling can change our attitude. Our mind is so strong, that just saying and repeating positive phrases like "i am relaxed, I am at peace, I am healed, I am healthy, I am whole, I am confident, I am compassionate, I feel good, I am happy, etc" can really make a difference in our emotional state.
I hafta purposely remind myself to take a few moments to meditate and take deep breaths. mix that in with a hot shower and im good. And beyond that, id probably argue that a few moments of genuine prayer is even more powerful. I think there's something also very powerful about music, it can somehow release us into a world of different emotions that i cant quite explain.
Besides a few shows, i don't really watch tv. but i have been watching a lot more youtube more than usual. and i come across these real people that i can relate to. And the one thing i really admire about them is their confidence to be themselves and own it. It's interesting hearing their stories about how they had self-esteem issues, loneliness, depression, grief, and all sorts of obstacles, and yet they still kept working on themselves to become stronger. They had a drive to pursue their passion and to let their voice be heard. They didn't allow any obstacle to stop them from getting in their way of their dreams. They worked hard and fought hard to make their dreams a reality. These are the same traits i want.. I want to be unstoppable.
another big goal for me this year is to spend less and save more. Financial health can be a big burden. sometimes when im down i just buy everything i want lol, its never a good idea. I envy those who make so much money. I don't need to be rich, but i really don't want to struggle with the financial stress. Worrying about money just plain sucks. So yeah, don't spend money on things you don't need!
So it is now the year 2017. kind of a random thought, but can you imagine what life would be like 500 years from now? Technology, and medicine would probably be super advanced. Maybe robots could cook me dinner! This website speculates and predicts what the future would be like (possible spoilers!) [ http://www.futuretimeline.net/ ]
i know america is freezing, and in hawaii it ain't nearly as bad. but lately ive been getting a really stuffy / runny nose and its the most annoying thing ever as far as first world problems go. Sore throat, coughing, sneezing, and having sinus issues is the worst! Im probably getting sick since its been colder than usual. Dont take health for granted!
stay awesome gothom
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