brief thoughts

I had a co-worker tell me.. not to make it sound bad, but you spend too much time helping your clients.

and it got me thinking.. well yeah i've been trained that way. to let people talk if they want to talk and just sit there and listen. to trust others, to show empathy, compassion and care. to respond as soon as you can when someone calls

and in most scenarios those are usually good things, but with the population i work with, things work differently

i'm learning.. some folks are attention seeking, sometimes you're enabling their behavior. sometimes ur working harder to help others than they are willing to help themselves, and that doesn't help them become more independent

a lot of times i say, well, maybe, i don't know. uh, i guess, possibly, im not too sure. i'll hafta check to make sure, uh i think so, i'm not 100%.. there's a time to be tentative and a time to show more certainty

sometimes the right answer is to do to brief solution focus therapy

sometimes the right answer is to let people pay the consequences

sometimes the right answer is being more assertive, decisive, direct, and not letting people just take advantage or speak to you however they want

sometimes the right answer is to call people out on their BS if they're lying

sometimes i doubt my ability.. yeah i don't know every answer to people's questions and needs, but i am learning to speak with more confidence, even if there are times i feel incompetent. 

i seem to beat myself up too much for my mistakes. and this is why im usually so indecisive. i hafta learn to let go of my mistakes