A relationship with God shouldn't be a chore or something we force ourselves to do. being with God should be a joy. We should catch ourselves being captivated by God. We should find ourselves staring at the beauty of his glory. It's kinda like when you're swept away by the warmth of the sun or the beauty of the sky.
As Christians, our faith needs to be loud and explosive. Our joy for God should attract the interest of others. Our default mode needs to be a heart of worship and a cheerful excitement of praise. God is not good sometimes or every now and then. God is good all the time. Sometimes we become numb and completely miss this deep deep love he has for us. We get tangled in sin, distracted by idols and our own desires.
As Christians we need to practice an attitude of stillness. A heart that waits and faints for God. We need to set aside all our worries, burdens and anxieties and simply trust that God is in charge. Sometimes he purposely allows us to endure trials for our strengthening. He purposely allows us to experience difficult things in life if that's what it takes for us to draw close to him. I think God has been giving me a wake up call. A wake up call towards maturity, self-discipline, balance, worship, boldness, righteousness, and an intimacy with him. It's not about doing things perfectly. It's about being in love with God. Obedience then joyfully follows.
Lastly, the christian walk is not meant to be done alone. We need to be invested in community. We're not just created to have a relationship with God, but also with others. i guess instead of isolating ourselves from God and others, we need to be more intentional about making time to be with others. The only way to give, serve, and worship is by first receiving from God. Fill up, then pour out.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Monday, March 12, 2012
Courage
i want to be a risk taker. I've played it safe my entire life. I don't like to take the chance of something going wrong. I've seen people live in full devotion to God, regardless of how uncomfortable or difficult the circumstances may be. Perhaps fear holds me back. It's easier to not live for God. It's easier not to be bold or courageous. It's easier not to take the initiative to say or do something to serve and bless someone. I feel like i hold myself back. I crave an adventure led by faith, and yet my laziness keeps saying to stay inside, under the blankets and watch tv. My sinful flesh says "live for yourself, it's easy, fun and safe. Don't do anything drastic or crazy for God." I don't want to conform to the world, and get caught up with distractions. Why do i exchange temporal pleasures and values for those that are eternal? Why do i get so caught up with just the physical delights?
My pursuit of righteousness has somehow turned into a lust of unrighteousness. I feel myself slowly spiraling, a little further from God than the last. Fellowship is always great and encouraging, but perhaps i need more peer sharpening. I need someone to pour into me, stretch and challenge me. Sure, seminary offers theological training in the knowledge of proposition (head knowledge). However, i feel like my knowledge of acquaintance (heart knowledge), has been dwindling. I haven't been pursuing a deep intimacy with God as i once used to.
Have you ever gone a few days of just going through the motions? What about weeks? Months? Things become routine. I used to experience God a little more personally. In fact, God always seemed extremely explosive. time didn't seem to matter. He would speak and communicate His truths through some sort of revelation. I would be able to sense His presence and love. I could sense His Spirit, see visions, and hear His voice. It was never a chore to spend time with God and seek Him.
Lately, it hasn't been the same. I used to keep devotion times, watch a bunch of sermons, read great books, wake up with prayers and worship. Now i don't seem to have much energy or inspiration to invest in these spiritual disciplines. I feel a little weaker spiritually. Now I make excuses and slowly seem to push God to a last option of how i could spend my time. I've put so many things before God. It bothers me that i confess and repent, and yet find myself ignoring God in the same way.
I can't seem to find the patience to wait upon Him. The desire isn't as pressing. I wouldn't say i'm drowning spiritually, nor would i say i'm making much progress. I feel like i've jus been treading water. And eventually, treading water gets extremely exhausting. But instead of finding rest and satisfaction in God, i find myself turning to other counterfeit sources. I want to do things right, and use my time here on earth wisely. However, i am often filled with tired laziness. this gets me so frustrated at myself. It gets kinda hard to receive grace for the kazillionth time. And i know God still offers His grace. it's jus that... i'm tired of sinning and screwing up. i'm tired of not making the most of opportunities. I'm sick of sins of omission, and not doing anything when i should take action.
I hate that i try to take short cuts in everything. I always want things easy, comfortable and my way. Why can't i be more disciplined? Where has that intense burning passion gone? Why do i feel so dim lately? How much do i truly value my relationship with the living God? How much do i actually trust Him?
God give me hope. Reveal your will. Fill me with strength. Stir up a joyful obedience in me. Help me repent of my sin and idols. Kill my lusts, laziness and selfishness. I desire to desire you more. Don't let me settle for the status quo. May i give you all the honor, glory and praise that you deserve. May i delight in your ways, and trust in your unfailing love. God thank you for always being faithful. Draw me closer.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Frustrations
God is good! His grace is sufficient. His love is endless. His mercy is unfailing. His pursuit is relentless. He is wonderful, beautiful, magnificent and infinitely glorious! Praise to the King!
so uhh.. the past few weeks, maybe even months.. I've been feeling kinda spiritually dry. I feel like i fell off the horse and just stayed on the ground. Sometimes i don't know how to get back up. Sometimes i feel like i'm just not good enough. And i guess that does kinda reveal a works-righteousness based on my own sheer effort or performance. I need to constantly remind myself to depend on God and not just myself.
I have been greatly frustrated at myself lately. I've been very disappointed and angry at myself. It's kinda hard to serve in ministry when your own relationship with God is lacking. A woman from one of my classes said, if we give up our time with God or our devotion time with God, doesn't our ministry suffer? Isn't that the place of which we draw strength and guidance?
Anyways.. back to my frustrations.. I kinda had a short argument with God a few minutes ago. I acknowledged that i have been very distracted. There has been obvious sins, idols, and lusts in my life. I try to fill myself by some other means. I easily become lazy, slothful and a sluggard.
I make excuses for myself for not getting things done. i procrastinate and put things off, which makes me mad at myself. I make goals, and fall short everyday.
I get upset at myself for rebellious sin. I get angry at my anger. I want to be better. i want to glorify God, but then how come my life struggles to obey? I say i love God, yet why do i struggle to spend just 5 minutes with Him?
Why can't i slow down? Why do i run to other things to satisfy me? Sometimes it seems i purposely distract myself. maybe because coming to receive from God seems difficult sometimes..
Even when i'm able to slow down and be in solitude i still cant hear God. Sometimes i cant sense Him. I feel blind and deaf to His Spirit. Sometimes walkin over to my roommates room and talkin to him is easier than running to God. My roommate listens and then responds. I can hear his words easily, get quick advice, and have someone to keep me company.
If God is so infinite and intimate, how come i struggle to sense His presence? Even after turnin off all the noise in my head i still struggle to hear Him. Even when i read scripture it gets hard. I know i need to be in God's word and in prayer more, but i'm not quite sure how to. It shouldn't be a chore.
I think through this experience, God is teaching me to grow in my desire for Him. It honestly shouldn't be this hard to spend time with the One we love. I think our generation wants quick responses and clear answers. We want God in a pill form. We have a short attention span and don't like waiting. Sometimes it's easier to jus turn the tv on, and turn our mind off.
Perhaps God is teaching me to grow in patience. I need to learn to slow myself down. I think one of the reasons i don't read enough is because there are so many other competing desires that seem more appealing.
Have you ever tried to get in touch with someone but they keep missing your calls. I think God has been tryin to get my attention for awhile. And then when i do seek after Him, He purposely takes a step back and maybe even hides so it causes me to pursue and search more after Him. I dunno.
God did reaffirm me while i was shaving. He said that, "I am here and i love you." which was really all i needed to hear.
I think the lesson here is to prioritize making time for God. Hold yourself to specific appointments with Him. It's great that we can abide in Him no matter what we're doing, but we also ought to be more intentional with our prayers and quiet times.
My roommate said he has been struggling with school. He feels like he's crawling, but crawling in the right direction. Sometimes sanctification is painful. Sometimes trials are exhausting. Sometimes God allows us to suffer through circumstances so we're able to grow.
I feel like my walk with God isn't consistent enough. I usually end up relying on myself and trying to accomplish everything on my own effort. Sometimes i want a quick fix to all my problems. But i realize that problems can be quite complex and that it takes time to grow. I'm learning perseverance. I'm learning that i need to focus more on obedience, spiritual disciplines, prayer, receiving grace for myself and also pursuing righteousness.
Sin separates us from God. it's so easy to run and hide in unhealthy guilt. It's hard to confess, repent and receive grace. I get really frustrated at myself for sinning. I hate sin. it's like throwing dirt in God's face. And yet i continue to sin over and over again.
Sins of commission is actively committing something wrong, while sins of omission is idleness and not doing something that we should be doing. sometimes i feel like a constant failure. i feel like a broken CD that doesn't know how to play the song right. I feel like i've been practicing free throws and i've jus been throwing air balls or bricks.
It's easy to condemn myself for my sins and short comings. It's easy to stare at all the things i do poorly. I need to learn to look at the things i'm doin somewhat well in. I need to grow in self-discipline. I also need to accept that i'm a work in progress. I think i think too much. I over analyze sometimes and could use a little simplicity in my life. i need more of God.
____
My roommates and i were talkin about a lot of things last night. One roommate came into the room and said, "What's the whole point of being in a relationship and having children?" He said that he felt he wouldn't even get to enjoy a wife and kids for long, because he believes that according to some prophecy, Christ would return very very soon. I didn't think that was a very compelling argument. He went on to explain that he might be better off without another wife. He seems to be kinda scarred from his past marriages. He said it is easier to worship God without having to tend to a wife.
There are a lot of benefits to being single. Most of the time i am quite content with being single. Sometimes we want to be in relationships just for our selfish needs. Having a God honoring relationship now days is very difficult.
My other roommate got into a talk about if there's such a thing as a "one" for them. He brought in the idea of choice and how there may be 10+ women that are compatible for him and that they would all turn out to be great marriages. I kinda sided more with praying to God for discernment before jumping into anything, and that if God orchestrates the right person in your life, then things should be quite easy.
Then we talked about how we are created for relationships. I think that's why facebook is so popular now days. Social networking is something we crave, because we crave strong relationships with many people. A few teachers have said that we need at least 25 strong relationships for us to thrive and flourish. Having consistent community with believers that we trust is pivotal. It is absolutely necessary that we stay invested with deep friendships and fellowship.
One of the reasons our culture aches to rush into a romantic relationship is because they arn't relationally satisfied in God or in people. As Christians we ought to rely on our brothers and sisters in Christ for personal connection. We are designed to worship collectively and to share our lives with each other.
____
We also talked about balancing our spiritual, relational, emotional, mental, and physical life. How the heck are you supposed to do everything well? I feel like sometimes we need to sacrifice in certain areas for other areas to thrive. However, isn't there a way to be faithful in all these areas? It seems, once our spiritual life burns out, all the other areas fall apart too. Spiritually we need to find rest in God so we're able to invite God into the other areas of our life.
I was also thinking about seminary. And if Talbot will prepare me well enough to be an efficient leader in ministry, teaching and counseling. I dunno, i guess i want to leave school with more than just the basics and fundamentals.
Sometimes my heart really hurts and i'm not quite sure why. Perhaps it's because i always want to do things better, but keep making the same mistake. Not reaching your potential and just getting by makes me very disappointed in myself. I know i can do better, and jus trying harder isn't the answer. I need to get into the habit of meditating on God and His word more.
They call it a christian "walk" because it's a consistent lifestyle. Lately, i've jus been tripping, stumbling, falling, crawling, and laying in my own discouragements. Chris preach to yourself that it is God who works in you for His glory. Chris, stop trying to Do and just Be. Stop being so critical of yourself. Forgive yourself and have grace for yourself.
God,
where we have little control in our lives and little understanding, i pray that we would place our faith in you. Help us to trust you, to desire you more, love you, follow and obey you. Help us to abide, remain and be with you. Fill us, grow us, shape us, teach us, guide us, empower us and transform us. Thank you for always being there for me, even when sometimes it seems your not. Increase my faith. Help me to see, help me to hear and listen. Help me to love. Make me the person you want me to be. Grant me patience, perseverance, discipline, and obedience. Fill us with joy :D
Monday, March 5, 2012
thoughts
had a bunch of college students from church come over tonight. it was fun to worship and have fellowship together. i realize that i need to invest in relationships even more.
About every other night, my roommate and i get into very deep discussions that last hours. We complain about school and all the work that needs to be done. Sometimes it's hard writing papers, reading a book, going to class or studying for a test. We usually then talk about trying to balance other areas of our lives. We talk about the future and where we want to see ourselves. We talk about our past and all the great childhood memories we had growing up. We've been watchin "The Wonder Years" and it makes us reminisce our simple lives. It's boring if everyone is serious all the time. Shouldn't we enjoy our days and invest in building greater friendships?
One thing we talked about was how important relationships and community is. We all need someone to share our lives with. We all need a few solid relationships that we can count on. We need excitement, adventure and fun in our lives. Yes we need to be faithful to our studies, however that doesn't mean we should neglect our spiritual, physical, and relational social lives. We need to make time for fun things. There's a time to work and a time for play.
I struggle with self-discipline. It's hard to force myself to go to the library and stay there until my paper gets finished. but in the end i know it'll be worth it. All this dreaming about taking it easy and having fun is important, but now i think i need to focus on actually putting in the hours for school. I definitely need to work on reading more.
And then.. i look over to my bed and see my big fat white cat curled up with a big smile on his face. Gah he makes me so lazy. I changed my sheets, and then he goes and gets hair everywhere! gah! but he's so fluffy and cuddly that you can't say no. lol.
Chris tomorrow, you will wake up late. Shower, do devotions, eat brunch, and go to the library and write an awesome paper. That's the plan.
Lately ive been having awesome dreams. But then when i wake up, i completely forget where i was. I'm usually able to have a vivid memory, but lately i've been forgetting.
I need to escape to God more. I need to remind myself that it's not about doing, but being. Being with God. I need more time with God. I don't want to settle for a mediocre relationship with God. I want God to be more important than air. I want to hunger Him more than food. I wand to find deep satisfaction in Him more than entertainment. However, even when i say these things, my life doesn't seem to reflect that same desire. How can i go a day without including God? How can i go to sleep without having God cross my mind? Does 5 short minutes a day really count as a flourishing relationship? probably not. How can i be so easily distracted? I need to get my priorities straight. I think i could jus use a good quiet time with God right about now. it's so refreshing to be in the warmth of His embrace and to know we have a Heavenly Father who loves us.
About every other night, my roommate and i get into very deep discussions that last hours. We complain about school and all the work that needs to be done. Sometimes it's hard writing papers, reading a book, going to class or studying for a test. We usually then talk about trying to balance other areas of our lives. We talk about the future and where we want to see ourselves. We talk about our past and all the great childhood memories we had growing up. We've been watchin "The Wonder Years" and it makes us reminisce our simple lives. It's boring if everyone is serious all the time. Shouldn't we enjoy our days and invest in building greater friendships?
One thing we talked about was how important relationships and community is. We all need someone to share our lives with. We all need a few solid relationships that we can count on. We need excitement, adventure and fun in our lives. Yes we need to be faithful to our studies, however that doesn't mean we should neglect our spiritual, physical, and relational social lives. We need to make time for fun things. There's a time to work and a time for play.
I struggle with self-discipline. It's hard to force myself to go to the library and stay there until my paper gets finished. but in the end i know it'll be worth it. All this dreaming about taking it easy and having fun is important, but now i think i need to focus on actually putting in the hours for school. I definitely need to work on reading more.
And then.. i look over to my bed and see my big fat white cat curled up with a big smile on his face. Gah he makes me so lazy. I changed my sheets, and then he goes and gets hair everywhere! gah! but he's so fluffy and cuddly that you can't say no. lol.
Chris tomorrow, you will wake up late. Shower, do devotions, eat brunch, and go to the library and write an awesome paper. That's the plan.
Lately ive been having awesome dreams. But then when i wake up, i completely forget where i was. I'm usually able to have a vivid memory, but lately i've been forgetting.
I need to escape to God more. I need to remind myself that it's not about doing, but being. Being with God. I need more time with God. I don't want to settle for a mediocre relationship with God. I want God to be more important than air. I want to hunger Him more than food. I wand to find deep satisfaction in Him more than entertainment. However, even when i say these things, my life doesn't seem to reflect that same desire. How can i go a day without including God? How can i go to sleep without having God cross my mind? Does 5 short minutes a day really count as a flourishing relationship? probably not. How can i be so easily distracted? I need to get my priorities straight. I think i could jus use a good quiet time with God right about now. it's so refreshing to be in the warmth of His embrace and to know we have a Heavenly Father who loves us.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
My Tuesday
woke up.. had lots of time for school.. decided to play my iphone game..
looked at the clock.. now i was running late..
Went to class. had to be an attorney for my issues and ethics class.
I had some good arguments but they also had good defenses for their side.
jury said the defendant was not guilty. And i was tryin to prove she was.
Then the professor/judge decided to override their call and say that she actually was guilty.
So i think we ended up winning. but it doesn't matter, since we arn't graded on it
in class we talked about more ways a church leader can get sued. If information is revealed to you, that has the potential to harm other students, you must take immediate action. Even with all the right preventative and protective safety measure, things can still go wrong. Makes me a little nervous about counseling.
Christian counseling in my opinion, offers a deeper ministry than clinical/psychological therapy. Ideally, combining the two would be the best approach. I feel that there are so many troubled families now days. I've been hearing so many issues within family relationships. I see the brokenness that sin causes. I see people going through signs of depression and loneliness. In short, I believe Christ not only offers salvation, but healing for this life as well. In Christian counseling, the goal isn't to find solutions or answers. The goal is to lead them to see what God may be doing in their situation. The goal is to invite God into their problems, so that He can help one come to their own conclusions. I just think God's counseling trumps all other forms of man's counseling.
Anyways...
later i went to albertsons, and this tall big guy started yelling at this smaller dude in the parking lot
everyone was very curious, and one guy even stepped in to see if everything was okay
i went to look for a security guard in albertsons but couldnt find one.
so i went to subway.. mm i heart bacon and cookies
then when i came out 4 police cars were out looking for the guy
i was like snap!
then i went to get a hair cut.
i observed a little boy and mom tickling and laughing together while they waited.
I think the joys of parenting are ultimately worth all the sacrifice
You ever go to the barber and you don't know how to strike up a conversation?
I like to get hair cuts by ladies who at least know how to small talk.
otherwise, i end up being really quiet and starring at the ground for a long time, lol
so it was nice to have this lady ask me a few questions
but it's hard when you meet a stranger and u can't find the right topic to talk about
sometimes u just don't have similar interest or interesting things to talk about
then i bought my snowboard game
i've basically been playin it ever since
i'm kinda bummed cuz it doesn't have offline multiplayer split screen like the old days
This game really makes me wanna snowboard!
ok time for a cookie!
looked at the clock.. now i was running late..
Went to class. had to be an attorney for my issues and ethics class.
I had some good arguments but they also had good defenses for their side.
jury said the defendant was not guilty. And i was tryin to prove she was.
Then the professor/judge decided to override their call and say that she actually was guilty.
So i think we ended up winning. but it doesn't matter, since we arn't graded on it
in class we talked about more ways a church leader can get sued. If information is revealed to you, that has the potential to harm other students, you must take immediate action. Even with all the right preventative and protective safety measure, things can still go wrong. Makes me a little nervous about counseling.
Christian counseling in my opinion, offers a deeper ministry than clinical/psychological therapy. Ideally, combining the two would be the best approach. I feel that there are so many troubled families now days. I've been hearing so many issues within family relationships. I see the brokenness that sin causes. I see people going through signs of depression and loneliness. In short, I believe Christ not only offers salvation, but healing for this life as well. In Christian counseling, the goal isn't to find solutions or answers. The goal is to lead them to see what God may be doing in their situation. The goal is to invite God into their problems, so that He can help one come to their own conclusions. I just think God's counseling trumps all other forms of man's counseling.
Anyways...
later i went to albertsons, and this tall big guy started yelling at this smaller dude in the parking lot
everyone was very curious, and one guy even stepped in to see if everything was okay
i went to look for a security guard in albertsons but couldnt find one.
so i went to subway.. mm i heart bacon and cookies
then when i came out 4 police cars were out looking for the guy
i was like snap!
then i went to get a hair cut.
i observed a little boy and mom tickling and laughing together while they waited.
I think the joys of parenting are ultimately worth all the sacrifice
You ever go to the barber and you don't know how to strike up a conversation?
I like to get hair cuts by ladies who at least know how to small talk.
otherwise, i end up being really quiet and starring at the ground for a long time, lol
so it was nice to have this lady ask me a few questions
but it's hard when you meet a stranger and u can't find the right topic to talk about
sometimes u just don't have similar interest or interesting things to talk about
then i bought my snowboard game
i've basically been playin it ever since
i'm kinda bummed cuz it doesn't have offline multiplayer split screen like the old days
This game really makes me wanna snowboard!
ok time for a cookie!
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Living in the Spirit
Making bad decisions makes me angry at myself
Missing perfect opportunities makes me regretful
Giving my best effort and still not being good enough is discouraging
Hurting someone makes me feel absolutely horrible
Taking a risk and drastically losing makes me feel like a failure
Not living to my full potential makes me feel unproductive
Being unable to accomplish my goals again and again is frustrating
__________________________________________
Being saved by Jesus Christ through faith causes my heart to worship
Knowing God's grace is sufficient for all my shortcomings is strengthening
Being in the company of good fellowship is rejuvenating
Counting my blessings make me grateful
Being empowered by the Holy Spirit is transforming
Receiving God's forgiveness is redeeming
Experiencing the warmth of His love is priceless
Friday, February 17, 2012
Simplicity
I was sitting in Theology class. And we were goin over Harmatology (doctrine of sin) Christology (doctrine of Christ) and Soteriology (docrtine of Salvation). And sometimes i feel like i sit in classes and don't really get anything new, deep or exciting out of it. And lately i've been full on knocking out for 20min naps with my head down (no1 seems to buy that i'm reading, lol.. Least i don't snore like this one guy, lol). Anyways... I asked my professor, "What is our personal relationship with Jesus?" Meaning what is His role. I usually hear God the Father speak to me and I turn to the Father in prayer. I see the role of the Holy Spirit in my life when I'm empowered, led, strengthened or convicted of sin. But exactly what does Jesus do personally in my relationship with Him? Yes the historical Jesus died on the cross as an atonement for my sins and is interceding for me at the right hand of the Father. Yes Jesus is the Lamb of God, King, Priest, Prophet, Vine, Shepherd, Teacher and Friend. But do i truly experience those roles in my own life? Do i really communicate or abide in Jesus?
I also wonder how Christ was separated from the trinity when God poured out His wrath on Jesus. It's kinda confusing since Christ who is God became sin for us. So.. how exactly did Christ take all the sin upon Himself, satisfy the wrath of God, and become forsaken during that time? God made Him who had no sin, to become sin for us. but God can't become sin.. right? i'm so confused! If Christ was separated, then wouldn't God become a duality (Father and Spirit) instead of a trinity? Which honestly doesn't make sense cuz God doesn't change in nature. Still kinda confused with the specifics. However, i guess it would be possible for Christ to have the dual nature of being fully man and fully God. And then having our sin imputed to His human nature, while still maintaining a divine relationship with the other persons of the trinity in His divine nature. But then.. i thought the consequence of sin is death for us spiritually too and not just physical. And then how exactly did Christ pay for all those sins. Can God pour wrath upon Himself?
Basically i realized i don't need to find all the answers for my questions. I usually end up with more questions and less answers. I realized that i should just enjoy attending a school with Christian teachers and classmates. It's actually quite a joy to hear your professor say, "Open your bibles to.." or "Let's open in prayer." Even if i don't get something radical out of every class, it's a joy to hear teachers proclaim God's Word and truth. I was listening to a worship song, and realized that it's not how much you know, or what you know, but who you know. Sometimes it takes genius to be simple. Sometimes we over complicate Christianity. We can easily turn it into our own religion.
The bottom line is actually quite simple. Simply come to Jesus. Run to the Father. Walk by the Spirit. Spend time with Him, dance in His freedom, worship, sing, rejoice and delight in Him. Receive His infinite love and grace. Obedience, repentance, holiness and the pursuit of knowledge will all follow from the motivation of encountering God's love. Receive with child-like trust and faith. Receive His blessing, so we can become a blessing to others. What a joy it is to have such a loving God.
I also wonder how Christ was separated from the trinity when God poured out His wrath on Jesus. It's kinda confusing since Christ who is God became sin for us. So.. how exactly did Christ take all the sin upon Himself, satisfy the wrath of God, and become forsaken during that time? God made Him who had no sin, to become sin for us. but God can't become sin.. right? i'm so confused! If Christ was separated, then wouldn't God become a duality (Father and Spirit) instead of a trinity? Which honestly doesn't make sense cuz God doesn't change in nature. Still kinda confused with the specifics. However, i guess it would be possible for Christ to have the dual nature of being fully man and fully God. And then having our sin imputed to His human nature, while still maintaining a divine relationship with the other persons of the trinity in His divine nature. But then.. i thought the consequence of sin is death for us spiritually too and not just physical. And then how exactly did Christ pay for all those sins. Can God pour wrath upon Himself?
Basically i realized i don't need to find all the answers for my questions. I usually end up with more questions and less answers. I realized that i should just enjoy attending a school with Christian teachers and classmates. It's actually quite a joy to hear your professor say, "Open your bibles to.." or "Let's open in prayer." Even if i don't get something radical out of every class, it's a joy to hear teachers proclaim God's Word and truth. I was listening to a worship song, and realized that it's not how much you know, or what you know, but who you know. Sometimes it takes genius to be simple. Sometimes we over complicate Christianity. We can easily turn it into our own religion.
The bottom line is actually quite simple. Simply come to Jesus. Run to the Father. Walk by the Spirit. Spend time with Him, dance in His freedom, worship, sing, rejoice and delight in Him. Receive His infinite love and grace. Obedience, repentance, holiness and the pursuit of knowledge will all follow from the motivation of encountering God's love. Receive with child-like trust and faith. Receive His blessing, so we can become a blessing to others. What a joy it is to have such a loving God.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Thank You for Jesus
God help me to be faithful to what you have called me to. Save me from myself. Save me from my insecurities, lack of self-discipline, and self-condemnation. Make me the person you want me to be. Lead me to where you want me to go. Give me the strength and the faith to trust you through the challenges. May your will be done in me. Father help me to wait upon you and soak up your explosive love. May i grow in your wisdom and pursue a greater glimpse of you. May i extend myself better relationally to those around me. You are the true Vine, may i abide in you. You are the Light of the world, may you shine through me. You are the King of the world, may that truth be proclaimed in my life. Shepherd me to green pastures and still waters. May your staff comfort me and your rod discipline me where needed. Father I want to be completely satisfied in you and completely in awe of you. I pray for joyful obedience. I don't just want to sit around and become idol. Use me as your instrument. Give me the boldness to go beyond my own comforts. Give me a broken heart for the lost. Help me to pray for others. Help me to serve others. thank you for blessing me with a loving family and great friends. Help me to show and express that appreciation. Keep me from distractions, keep me from idols, and guard me from sin so i can pursue your righteousness. May I decrease so that you increase. God help me to be more disciplined. Grow me to become more Christ-centered. I give you all that i am. May your Name receive the highest glory, honor and fame. Take my heart Lord, take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above. Amen.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Having Grace for Yourself
Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God. Psalm 42:5
sometimes i get down on myself, but as Christians we are to practice a self talk. We are to preach to ourselves the gospel. God has conquered over both sin and death; i'm sure He's big enough to handle our problems and anxieties too. Cry out to the Lord in your despair. He is a God of peace, comfort and healing. Every second God is overflowing with infinite grace and is pouring out His endless love. Are we intentional on receiving it? By not having grace for ourselves we are in a sense denying His grace. I feel like a child who still can't walk properly. Even though i keep falling down, God keeps saying, "Let's get back up and try again." Even when I stumble and fall, i delight that i have a Father holding me with each step.
Ever know that you could do something well, and then not do as well as you expected? Sometimes i get disappointed and mad at myself for not doing my best. We have the capacity and potential to be great, and yet we often settle for alright. It's not about just getting by or doing enough. We are called to live to our fullest. We are to maximize our influence in this world and manage ourselves in a way that is honoring to God.
Not loving when i know i could and should upsets me. Having the allotted time to accomplish something and not taking advantage of that time to get the task done upsets me. Procrastinating and operating on 50% upsets me. I know that there's a chris who can lead in confidence, a chris that is responsible, a chris that is unwavering in faith, but lately i've only seen the chris that only hits the status quo. I hate that i live by cutting corners and taking short cuts. Greater quality requires greater commitment.
When we don't strive to become the best we can be, we see our mediocre results and products of it. By not exercising and eating right, our bodies show that we haven't been taking care of ourselves. By rushing through a homework assignment, we receive the average grade we deserved. By not putting in time to do the proper research and preparation, we see the lack there of. I beat myself up and self condemn myself for not doing and being my best. I'm not saying we should be perfectionist, i'm saying we shouldn't settle for short. I'm a C+ B- kind of guy. My whole life i've figured out ways to not expend energy so i didn't need to work too hard.
What's frustrating is that now that I do try to put in 100% of my energy into performing certain task, i still fail and can't get an A. It makes you feel like your not good enough at something, inadequate and weak. Doing your best and still ending up in failure is even more discouraging. Wanting to do better and yet still fumbling the same importunity makes me upset at myself. I know i can do better, but i'm struggling to be better. I can preach about spiritual things and how we ought to live, but actually living by the spirit and not gratifying the desires of the flesh in my own daily life is a whole different thing.
I need grace for myself. God is full of grace and loves us even after we've dropped all the eggs. However, i need to learn to find grace for myself. Sanctification is saying no to sin and yes to righteousness more and more in our life. We are to conform our mind, desires, emotions, and will to the likeness of Christ. Imitating Christ is more than just imitating His actions. We are to conform our thoughts, feelings, and attitudes to His. We are to have the same dependent relationship with the Father as Jesus did.
Lately i've felt a little overwhelmed with life. Trying to do everything at 100% is impossible. There needs to be sacrifices and the one thing i don't want to sacrifice is my spiritual walk and time with God. I want to be faithful to all my responsibilities, but I get so quickly exhausted and burnt out from trying to prepare for the coming week. My bad sleep schedule affects my entire life. If i don't get enough sleep the previous night, i'm normally a zombie to other people. It's so hard to express love when your exhausted. Getting natural and spiritual rest are very important disciplines. Sometimes i only rest and then never put in the time to do work. I also need to have the self discipline to stay focused on a specific task. I get way too distracted or lazy.
I met with one of my favorite professors this week. He's probably the busiest guy I know and yet his life always seems so well together. He's a husband, professor, pastor, and not to mention a father of 10 children. He gave me some good advice. Learn when to say No to things and also when to say Yes to things. When i told him i felt guilty for not reading devotions daily he said that it shouldn't be the only way we go about spirituality. We are to look at how well we are producing the fruits of the Spirit in our life. Is there love, joy, peace, self-control, etc? Are we serving others and faithfully obeying Him in worship? Do we mediate and think upon God? Do we abide and commune with Him throughout our day. We need to see ourselves with the perspective that we aren't really that busy. We actually have tons of time throughout our day to accomplish our given responsibilities. Christians have the special perk of tapping into God's strength for help. He gives us the ability to persevere through trails, manage ourselves and to devote ourselves to His will.
Trials make you stronger. Experience makes you wiser. Practice produces precision. Trust, abide, and delight in Him. Receive His grace. See yourself the way God sees you. See others the way God sees them. As works in progress, we know that in faith we are growing, training and learning to become the disciples He desires us to be. Be a faithful steward with what God has entrusted you with, trust in God's strength, follow where God leads, and live in the fullness of who God has created and called you to be.
Man i'm so tired, i dont even know what i'm saying.. time to go to sleeeeep! XD
3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." Romans 5:3-5
"8For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. 9 This is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance. 10 That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe.11 Command and teach these things. 12 Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. 13 Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. 14 Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through prophecy when the body of elders laid their hands on you. 15 Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. 16 Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers." -1 Timothy 4:8-16
"5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." -2 Peter 1:5-8
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God. Psalm 42:5
sometimes i get down on myself, but as Christians we are to practice a self talk. We are to preach to ourselves the gospel. God has conquered over both sin and death; i'm sure He's big enough to handle our problems and anxieties too. Cry out to the Lord in your despair. He is a God of peace, comfort and healing. Every second God is overflowing with infinite grace and is pouring out His endless love. Are we intentional on receiving it? By not having grace for ourselves we are in a sense denying His grace. I feel like a child who still can't walk properly. Even though i keep falling down, God keeps saying, "Let's get back up and try again." Even when I stumble and fall, i delight that i have a Father holding me with each step.
Ever know that you could do something well, and then not do as well as you expected? Sometimes i get disappointed and mad at myself for not doing my best. We have the capacity and potential to be great, and yet we often settle for alright. It's not about just getting by or doing enough. We are called to live to our fullest. We are to maximize our influence in this world and manage ourselves in a way that is honoring to God.
Not loving when i know i could and should upsets me. Having the allotted time to accomplish something and not taking advantage of that time to get the task done upsets me. Procrastinating and operating on 50% upsets me. I know that there's a chris who can lead in confidence, a chris that is responsible, a chris that is unwavering in faith, but lately i've only seen the chris that only hits the status quo. I hate that i live by cutting corners and taking short cuts. Greater quality requires greater commitment.
When we don't strive to become the best we can be, we see our mediocre results and products of it. By not exercising and eating right, our bodies show that we haven't been taking care of ourselves. By rushing through a homework assignment, we receive the average grade we deserved. By not putting in time to do the proper research and preparation, we see the lack there of. I beat myself up and self condemn myself for not doing and being my best. I'm not saying we should be perfectionist, i'm saying we shouldn't settle for short. I'm a C+ B- kind of guy. My whole life i've figured out ways to not expend energy so i didn't need to work too hard.
What's frustrating is that now that I do try to put in 100% of my energy into performing certain task, i still fail and can't get an A. It makes you feel like your not good enough at something, inadequate and weak. Doing your best and still ending up in failure is even more discouraging. Wanting to do better and yet still fumbling the same importunity makes me upset at myself. I know i can do better, but i'm struggling to be better. I can preach about spiritual things and how we ought to live, but actually living by the spirit and not gratifying the desires of the flesh in my own daily life is a whole different thing.
I need grace for myself. God is full of grace and loves us even after we've dropped all the eggs. However, i need to learn to find grace for myself. Sanctification is saying no to sin and yes to righteousness more and more in our life. We are to conform our mind, desires, emotions, and will to the likeness of Christ. Imitating Christ is more than just imitating His actions. We are to conform our thoughts, feelings, and attitudes to His. We are to have the same dependent relationship with the Father as Jesus did.
Lately i've felt a little overwhelmed with life. Trying to do everything at 100% is impossible. There needs to be sacrifices and the one thing i don't want to sacrifice is my spiritual walk and time with God. I want to be faithful to all my responsibilities, but I get so quickly exhausted and burnt out from trying to prepare for the coming week. My bad sleep schedule affects my entire life. If i don't get enough sleep the previous night, i'm normally a zombie to other people. It's so hard to express love when your exhausted. Getting natural and spiritual rest are very important disciplines. Sometimes i only rest and then never put in the time to do work. I also need to have the self discipline to stay focused on a specific task. I get way too distracted or lazy.
I met with one of my favorite professors this week. He's probably the busiest guy I know and yet his life always seems so well together. He's a husband, professor, pastor, and not to mention a father of 10 children. He gave me some good advice. Learn when to say No to things and also when to say Yes to things. When i told him i felt guilty for not reading devotions daily he said that it shouldn't be the only way we go about spirituality. We are to look at how well we are producing the fruits of the Spirit in our life. Is there love, joy, peace, self-control, etc? Are we serving others and faithfully obeying Him in worship? Do we mediate and think upon God? Do we abide and commune with Him throughout our day. We need to see ourselves with the perspective that we aren't really that busy. We actually have tons of time throughout our day to accomplish our given responsibilities. Christians have the special perk of tapping into God's strength for help. He gives us the ability to persevere through trails, manage ourselves and to devote ourselves to His will.
Trials make you stronger. Experience makes you wiser. Practice produces precision. Trust, abide, and delight in Him. Receive His grace. See yourself the way God sees you. See others the way God sees them. As works in progress, we know that in faith we are growing, training and learning to become the disciples He desires us to be. Be a faithful steward with what God has entrusted you with, trust in God's strength, follow where God leads, and live in the fullness of who God has created and called you to be.
Man i'm so tired, i dont even know what i'm saying.. time to go to sleeeeep! XD
3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." Romans 5:3-5
"8For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. 9 This is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance. 10 That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe.11 Command and teach these things. 12 Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. 13 Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. 14 Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through prophecy when the body of elders laid their hands on you. 15 Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. 16 Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers." -1 Timothy 4:8-16
"5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." -2 Peter 1:5-8
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
God,
Sometimes i have trouble praying. Sometimes I have a hard time making time for you. Help me to desire you more. Help me to love you more. Help me to receive from you more. You are my strength. You are my joy. You are my God. I long to know you more. I long to be in the fullness of your presence. I long to hear your voice. Father pick me up when i fall down. Strengthen me when i am weak. Grab my heart when it gets distracted. Help me to see people the way you see them. Help me to live by your Word. Help me to proclaim Jesus to everyone I meet. I pray that you would reign first and foremost in my life. Help me to be faithful in ministry, in my school work, in my health, and in my relationships. Help me to use my time wisely. Help me to be there for others. Help me to live with purpose and servitude. God help me to wait upon you. Help me to sit in silence and feel your heartbeat. Grant me the discipline and strength to accomplish what you desire. Protect me from evil, shield me from lust, humble my pride. Tear down my walls and break down my idols so I can worship you full heartily. I thank you that your grace overcomes my sin. Help me to run the race for the prize and treasure you as my reward. Transform me into your likeness. Transform my heart, mind and will. May I stand for your truth and live with your righteousness. I desire to be pure and holy as you are holy. I desire to abide in you. May you be the center of my life. Give me a heart for my family and friends. Help me to love those who are hard to love. Help me pray for those who are in need of you. Take my heart, soul and all that I am. Use me for your glory. I rejoice in your sovereignty, in your faithfulness, in your freedom, your power, in your salvation, and in your name. Amen.
Sometimes i have trouble praying. Sometimes I have a hard time making time for you. Help me to desire you more. Help me to love you more. Help me to receive from you more. You are my strength. You are my joy. You are my God. I long to know you more. I long to be in the fullness of your presence. I long to hear your voice. Father pick me up when i fall down. Strengthen me when i am weak. Grab my heart when it gets distracted. Help me to see people the way you see them. Help me to live by your Word. Help me to proclaim Jesus to everyone I meet. I pray that you would reign first and foremost in my life. Help me to be faithful in ministry, in my school work, in my health, and in my relationships. Help me to use my time wisely. Help me to be there for others. Help me to live with purpose and servitude. God help me to wait upon you. Help me to sit in silence and feel your heartbeat. Grant me the discipline and strength to accomplish what you desire. Protect me from evil, shield me from lust, humble my pride. Tear down my walls and break down my idols so I can worship you full heartily. I thank you that your grace overcomes my sin. Help me to run the race for the prize and treasure you as my reward. Transform me into your likeness. Transform my heart, mind and will. May I stand for your truth and live with your righteousness. I desire to be pure and holy as you are holy. I desire to abide in you. May you be the center of my life. Give me a heart for my family and friends. Help me to love those who are hard to love. Help me pray for those who are in need of you. Take my heart, soul and all that I am. Use me for your glory. I rejoice in your sovereignty, in your faithfulness, in your freedom, your power, in your salvation, and in your name. Amen.
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