The Kingdom of Heaven Is a Treasure

John Piper hands down my favorite pastor. First 20mins is on the Kingdom of Heaven. It's an old sermon, yet always true and relevant.

44 “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.45 “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. 46 When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it. Matthew 13:44-46

7 "But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him" Philippians 3:7-9

19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21

For some reason I woke up with this Kingdom of Heaven passage in mind. There are things in this life that are like finding a treasure hidden in a field. Yes the kingdom of Heaven is by far our greatest treasure! As Christians we joyfully submit to the rule and reign of our King. 

some other random thoughts..

There are other very rare treasures that we come across in life. I think I found a treasure that is very valuable. In fact, it's priceless. You know it when you find it. Similar to the parables of the Kingdom of Heaven, it's worth giving everything up for. If you find a treasure that is worth more than all the rubies and diamonds in the world, you need to do everything you can to protect it, cherish it and keep it safe. Fight with everything you've got for those you want to keep in your life. "Anything valuable is worth our best effort." God is not just another number in the equation, rather He is the parenthesis and the solution. 

I was reading an interesting thought about porcupines. Two porcupines trying to keep warm move closer. But if they move too close they can get pricked by each other's spines. Perhaps there is a sweet spot. In the same way, humans long for closeness and yet also need space. 

Beyond the strength of how one's heart feels, we are to Listen to God first and foremost. This is something I'm praying for. Divine clarity, guidance and discernment. I think this requires more time in prayer and waiting on God. Just like in any relationship, it's important to prioritize spending quality time.

Fancy line graphs will not always look like the ideal. There will always be ups and downs, highs and lows. But we are to focus on the positive and forgive any negatives. Generally the positives of acceptance, appreciation and gratitude should outweigh any downward declines. i used to think between two people it needed to be a 50/50. But then i heard a professor say, "No, it should be 100/100" I thought that was really profound.

One thing i've realized is that.. when something is right, it usually feels very organic and super easy. you don't need to force two puzzle pieces to fit. If two pieces snap quickly easily together, it's usually because they're supposed to. If two magnets naturally gravitate together, it's probably because they're supposed to. hmm.. socks and shoes also go really well together. You get the picture. 

It's possible to speculate and predict what the future may look like, but we really don't know. And this is why faith in God is pivotal for growing one's commitment and devotion. True flourishing intimacy is not a quick sprint. Rather, it's a marathon that aims to thrive for the long run. 

Psalm 91

¹ Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High

    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
² I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”

Closing the Sanctification Gap

The following is a little excerpt from John Coe's Journal of Spiritual Formation and Soul Care. He was one of my spiritual formation professors in school. His article is titled "Spiritual Theology: A Theological-Experiential Methodology for Bridging the Sanctification Gap." It piggybacks on Richard Lovelace's journal article on The Sanctification Gap.

This Sanctification Gap is the difference between our Ideal-self (all the oughts & shoulds of who God calls us to be) and our Real-self (Who we actually are). I don't think it's possible to fully obtain being our ideal-self at all times. In my understanding, I think God brings our sanctification to completion in the process of glorification when we are with Him in Heaven, but while we're still here there will always be this tension of our Ideal and Real-self. And this is why the doctrine of God's Grace is so important to understand. God's grace not only covers our sins, but helps us to do what we cannot do ourselves.

In short, in order to close the Sanctification Gap, John Coe is basically saying to apply systematic theology and the Biblical teachings to our daily lives to promote spiritual maturity. Not just spiritual maturity, but a deeper relationship with God by growing in the likeness of Christ. A Christian must also draw observations and reflections of the work of the Holy Spirit in their life. We desperately need God's help in order to apply and experience God's truths in our lives. If we could just do one thing right in life, it'd be correctly interpreting scripture and joyfully obeying it by applying it to our life. 

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There exists a serious gap in the mind of many believers between what they know to be the goal of sanctification and growth and where they know they actually are in their life. The goal or spiritual ideal is somewhat clear to many, at least as an ideal: to be conformed to Christ, to love God with all our hearts and our neighbor as ourselves, to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit, to pray without ceasing, to be filled with the Holy Spirit. We hear these good words from the pulpit and our teachers; we read them in books and meditate on them in Scripture. However, the frustration begins right there: in the awareness of an immense distance between where we should, could or ought to be spiritually and where we in fact are—a huge chasm that some have termed the “sanctification gap.”

The church and its leaders would be better equipped to address this “sanctification gap” if its ministries were informed by a robust Spiritual Theology, understood in two senses or forms that are interrelated: (1) its more general form of drawing out the spiritual and existential implications of theology in order to better understand and participate in the process of transformation; (2) its fullest sense as a theological discipline in its own right that attempts to integrate (a) the Scriptural teaching on sanctification with (b) observations and reflections of the Spirit's actual work in the believer's spirit and experience. 

Some Spiritual Formation Books & Authors for my new reading list

Dynamics of Spiritual Life: An Evangelical Theology of Renewal 

by Richard Lovelace

The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering Our Hidden Life in God

by Dallas Willard

Hearing God Through the Year: A 365 Day Devotional

by Dallas Willard

Father God, 

Thank you for your grace. Thank you for your Spirit to help me. There are things that are unknown and uncertain to me. There are things that i feel stressed about. I find myself worrying about these things. God please help me to trust you and to grow in faith. Guide me and have your way with me. Help me to draw closer in intimacy with you. Help me to listen, to understand, to apply and follow your Word, Will and Way. Help me to trust and receive your grace. Fill me with your Love and your Peace. Thank you God, Amen.

COVID-19

 Got this from a coworker and thought I'd share it too

The world continues its battle to contain the COVID-19 pandemic, which now has likely impacted, either directly or indirectly, nearly every person on Earth. This is far more than just a health crisis—this is a human crisis. Its fearful wake will only be bested by the bravery, perseverance, and hope of a determined world. It is more than just a dangerous illness; it is a test of our resolve.

Resolve requires more than just the courage to stare down the unknown—it is the commitment to overcome it. It all starts with the heroism of the first responders, health care providers saving lives and scientists working tirelessly to find a cure. It shines on the truck drivers and market workers restocking empty store shelves at the markets.   It’s a reflection to think of why we do what we do and how we can make a difference in someone life less fortunate than ours. 

There are more negative storylines yet to be told in this pandemic as new cases continue to grow in the United States, concern remains elevated, and market volatility reigns. Every day, we are inundated with more and more cancellations—everything from shuttered workplaces to closed schools, cancelled graduations, and restricted public gatherings. But, optimism for the near-term future has not been cancelled. Neither has hope. And, neither has the will to help others in a time of crisis.  Our future is not cancelled—it has been ignited with our resolve.

April 23rd, 2020

Hawaii

Confirmed 592

Recovered 444

Deaths 12

United States

Confirmed 867,771

Recovered 79,817

Deaths 48,900

Worldwide

Confirmed 2,665,122

Recovered 727,170

Deaths 185,494

        Last year in December 2018, the coronavirus was found in the city of Wuhan in China. Some speculate that the origin of the virus came from a seafood market, or possibly by an animal such as a bat or pangolin. In mid-February there were about 15 confirmed cases in US, and by March 1^st around 80,000 cases in China. On March 9^th there were a total of 101.8k confirmed cases. On March 11^th, the World Health Organization (WHO) declared COVID-19 as a pandemic.

As I write this on March 29^th, 723,328 cases are confirmed (143,025 cases in US), there have been 34,005 total deaths (Italy 10,779, US 2,509, Spain 6,803), and 151,809 have recovered. Currently there are 175 confirmed cases in Hawaii. Some symptoms include, cough, fever and shortness of breath. The incubation period averages around 5 days. There is still a lot about the virus that is unknown. It’s uncertain how contagious and deadly this aggressive virus really is. But it is obvious that this is a very serious virus that spreads quickly. Treatment and vaccines are still being clinically tested and researched. Another name for the virus is severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2 or (SARS-CoV-2). About 80% of the population infected with the virus will recover without any specialized treatment. Being a new virus factors into why our immune system doesn’t have antibodies already to defend against it.

The R naught of COVID-19 is estimated around 1.95 -2.2, meaning that approximately 2 people will catch the virus from every person who already has it. The seasonal flu has an R naught of 1.3 and infects around 49 million Americans a year, killing between 290,000 = 650,000 people globally in a year. The mortality rate of the seasonal flu is 0.1% while the Coronavirus is estimated around 4.5% meaning it is potentially 45 times more deadly.

            According to a CDC journal, the worst pandemic on record was the Spanish flu of 1918 which killed between 50-100 million people across the world and killed around 675,000 Americans. The Spanish flu had a mortality rate of 2.5%, and if the Coronavirus continues to increase in its mortality rate it could become twice as deadly than the 1918 Spanish flu.

            The virus is not a living organism, but a protein molecule covered by a protective layer of lipid fat. The virus is very fragile. Soap foam, alcohol and heat above 25 degrees Celsius help to break down the outer layer of fat which makes the protein molecule break down and disperse. The virus molecules can remain very stable in the cold, moisture and darkness. Social distancing and washing your hands are the best ways to protect yourself from catching the virus.

            I can see why many are filled with fear, worry and anxiety in regards to COVID-19. Besides the virus itself there have been huge ripple effects. Businesses have had to close down resulting in the loss of jobs. There has been a huge decrease in the economy, stock market and travel. Our nation is currently in at least a 14 day quarantine. Many hospitals don’t have enough ventilators to help patients who are in severe conditions. 

Do not Fear, God is in control

            In a situation where there is chaos, suffering and uncertainty, God remains completely sovereign, just and in control. There is a passage in Matthew 6:25-34 that talks about how God ultimately cares for us. It’s easy to get concerned about all the possible what if’s that could happen. And I think that’s where fear starts to creep in. Even if we were to all die tomorrow, God would still be perfectly sovereign, supreme, holy, just and good. Everything really boils down to trusting in our Lord and Savior. Some churches and leaders have made wild claims that they don’t need to practice social distancing because if they are a true believer God will protect them from the virus. Some say that this is God’s judgement for one’s sin. Scoffers will say that the COVID-19 is evidence that a loving God does not exist, because a loving God wouldn’t want people to suffer. Do I have all the answers to why God allows suffering, evil and the coronavirus in this world? Nope. But God may be using this as a wake up call for our faith. Ultimately where do we place our security in? Even in the midst of chaos, God does not waiver, or change. God continues to be the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. His love is constant and relentless. God calls us to Himself, because he is our highest good.

Nothing can Separate us from the Love of God

In John 21, Jesus asks Peter, “Do you love me?” And I think God is really asking us, “Do you love me? Do you trust me? Even if you were to get deathly sick, would you still trust and glorify me? Where, what or who do you place your trust in?” In Psalm 46, God is pictured as our refuge and fortress. God is our strength, our redeemer, our comfort, our shelter, our shield, our rock etc. Romans 8 talks about how nothing can separate us from the love of Christ. Even if I were to get sick and die, I know that nothing can separate me from the infinite, everlasting and perfect love of God. Every day and every moment we have the opportunity to draw closer to God. We have the opportunity to receive God’s love and commune with Him.

Rest in God. Our God is Greater.

God may be using this coronavirus for hundreds of reasons we can’t understand. The ripple effect of having people stay home could be to have his people find rest in Him. It may be a way of drawing believers and non-believers closer to Him in intimacy. For example someone who feels alone at home, may turn to seeking God in prayer and realizing that he is Emmanuel, God with us and that he is always omnipresent and yet a personal and loving God to even the smallest of details and thoughts of an individual. Unlike humans, God can give his full attention to every living and non-living thing created at the same time without having to lift a pinky. God knows the deepest worries of our heart and calls us to find rest in Him, to cast our sorrows and to not fear because he is with us. The Bible has several verses that minister to someone dealing with anxiety and stress. The solution he gives is himself. He is our source of true peace and contentment. He says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). Paul writes, “I heave learned the secret of being content in any and every situation..” (Phil. 4:12). The amount of sin, evil, chaos, and suffering may be great, but our God is greater. God can use anything for multiple reasons beyond our comprehension. But if we ponder our circumstances, it’s possible we might find some lessons to learn and other spiritual meanings. For myself I am using this time at home to find a deeper sense of solitude and rest in God. Usually everything can get very busy and require us moving at a fast pace to get things accomplished. In a indirect way, this could be one way to get our attention to slow down and acknowledge Him.

What COVID-19 is not.

It’s easy to glorify and praise God when life is going well. But really, I think God is more glorified in times of suffering, during trials and tribulations. Yeah, the coronavirus absolutely sucks. But there have been wars, famines, and hundreds of other natural disasters before that God was still governing over and completely supreme over. There are examples in scripture when God could have easily prevented deaths and other chaotic disasters. Sometimes God intervened and sometimes He didn’t. Either way, “God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” It’s possible to get cancer and God can 100% use that for his glory. Do I know exactly why and how God works? Of course not. But I know that God demonstrates both his Grace and Justice. Does someone dying mean that God is demonstrating his wrath and judgement for sin? For those who are Christian, I would argue definitely not. Under the atonement of Jesus Christ there is no more condemnation. Through double imputation, Christ gave us the right to be called Children of God. God made him who had no sin to become sin for us (2 Cor. 5:21). God reconciled us to him and does not count our trespasses against him. And by his grace we obtain his righteousness. We become a new creature and are given the Holy Spirit. Some might think that the COVID-19 might be a first plague that appears in the end times. It likely isn’t because the plagues are directed towards those who belong to the Antichrist. If saints were not affected by the virus and immune to it, there would be a much stronger argument for it being one of the seven plagues mentioned in Revelation 16-17.

I spoke with a friend over the phone and it turns out that late at night he drove to a hospital. He knew he wouldn’t really be able to visit patients with the coronavirus, but he still drove to the hospital parking lot and decided to pray for all the sick, not only at the hospital but those across the country and the world. Sometimes in our first world country we have so many distractions, technology, wealth and abundance that it’s easy to only focus on ourselves and our own circles. It’s easy to not think about those who may be dying or the poor going hungry. There is always a need for Christians to demonstrate Christ’s love by being the salt and light. In this pressing time Christians ought not to be consumed with overwhelming anxiety and fear of the virus. Rather Christians are to express love and compassion by offering their support to help those in need.

Matthew 10:7 says “And as you go, preach, saying, ‘The kingdom of heaven is at hand.” Preaching that the kingdom of heaven is at hand is synonymous with several other passages in the gospels. Preaching that the kingdom of heaven is at hand is really Jesus’ main message. “The time has come,” he said, “The kingdom of God has come. Repent and believe the good news!” (Mark 1:15). However the good news wasn’t understood as salvation through the atonement of Christ. Jesus was still alive. The good news was the coming of the Kingdom of God. The Kingdom of God is already, but not yet in it’s complete fullness. The kingdom indicates God’s rule and reign, not only in the realm of heaven, but that God’s people can rejoice in submission to God’s sovereign rule and government.

            In conclusion, our world has faced pandemics, wars and devastating disasters before. The COVID-19 is a game changer and has in some way affected all of us. Christians are to let their light shine by putting their faith in God and ministering to others in this time. There are things we can control to protect ourselves from the virus, and for the things we cannot, we need to put our trust in God’s providence. Nothing can separate us from the love of God. God works all things for the good of those who love him. It is in darkness, the hopelessness, and suffering, where God is most magnified. In the darkness, Christ is our light. God is our hope, our refuge and our fortress. And in our pain, sickness and suffering, we can cry out to God for healing, restoration, rejuvenation, comfort, and peace. This is a time to draw closer to God in intimacy. For those quarantined at home, they are given the opportunity to worship God in the spiritual discipline of solitude. We can also practice the discipline of giving and charity to those in need. We can intercede and pray for those who are sick. And more importantly, we can proclaim the good news of God’s Kingdom. We don’t need to fear, because our God is with us.  

Kobe Bryant the Legend

My friend texted me that Kobe passed away. My first reaction is.. Are you serious? This is some sick joke right? then it started showing up on the news everywhere. Not only Kobe, but his 13 year old daughter and 7 others in the helicopter crash. Apparently there was bad weather, but they were still given the go ahead to fly to their basketball game.

I never met Kobe in real life, or even seen him play in real life. And yet, it feels like I lost a close friend. Whether you liked the LA Lakers or not, it was obvious that Kobe Bryant put everything he had into being the best basketball player he could be. He had a tremendous impact and influence on a lot of us. We looked up to Kobe, and everyone would yell, "Kobe!" before they took a shot. Some may only see him as a great basketball player, but even off the court, his mentality applies to several aspects to life.

Kobe was a fierce competitor. When fourth quarter came, you of course gave the ball to Kobe, because that's when he most thrives. When the pressure is on, he wants control of the ball. He wants to defend their best player. No one could beat his work ethic. He had more Drive than anyone. He'd train more hours and work hard everyday to achieve his goals. He was committed, determined and passionate to be the best version of himself. He taught self-belief and that there is no substitute for hard work. That also applied to business, and taking care of his family. He would know how to relax and have fun, but when it's time to work, he's maximizing his advantages and grinding at his craft. He'd chase down mentors to learn from them, and ask them questions on how to develop his game better. He'd learn from his failures and challenge himself to grow stronger.

 Again, I probably wouldn't be this torn up about any other celebrity or athlete. It shows how much his philosophy, hard work and mentality really influenced my life. On the court he was an assassin. He was aggressive, quick and paid attention to detail. If it weren't for Michael Jordan, it would be no contest that Kobe Bryant is the G.O.A.T. But for a lot of millennials, he was our Michael Jordan. We grew up watching Kobe on TV. He was our greatest for our generation. He literally played on a different level and tier than anyone else. But this goes beyond just the sport of basketball. Kobe represented a way of life. Kobe was persistent, dedicated, resolved, and had confidence. You attack and fight for your attaining your goals. You don't take short cuts and cheat yourself. You develop the discipline to make your dreams a reality.

His passing is tragic. He was only 41. and really just started his retirement. He had still had so much left to give. His daughter had potential to go to the WNBA one day. Words have a hard time expressing how much he meant. The whole world became devastated with this news. It brings up so much emotions. You feel sick, and even angry that he's gone. Some guys want to change the game of 21, to 24. Many basketball games that day ran out the 24 sec clock and ran out the 8 second backcourt penalty to pay honor and tribute to him. He was really one of a kind and we'll all miss him.

Dimensions of Health

I know some folks that have been dealing with depression, isolation, loneliness, helplessness, loss, regret, emptiness, discouragement, and negative thoughts. It's very easy to see the difficulties of life. It's not always easy to be optimistic and to push yourself to grow, transform and pursue a better life. Setting goals, pursuing them and consistently fighting to become the best version of yourself is not easy. It's challenging. 

When I help folks with these sort of issues, I relate with them well because it's things I also struggle with. It's easy to make excuses, it's easy to stay comfortable and to not want to change. Sometimes we lack the means, the motivation, inspiration, or energy. Or so we often think. The truth is that we really do have the strength and power to change ourselves and our circumstances. Sure there's external things outside of our control, but much of what we can manipulate, cultivate and grow comes from having a strong internal locus of control. You can see this in ambitious people you might know. It's a mindset. A work ethic. A devotion and commitment to achieve their goals. 

As Christians, we honestly have the greatest source of power we can tap into. At any moment, anywhere, anytime, we can be present with the living God. Sure there are some natural formation things we can do to improve ourselves. But there are things that we really cannot do alone. There are things we can only develop, achieve and obtain by surrendering to God. True strength, virtues, holiness, power and love all come from Him. God's grace does not only cover our sins, God's graces sustains us and empowers us to live for his glory.

I know I tend to blog about holistic health pretty often. But it really does apply to all aspects of my life. Sanctification does not just seek God in our spiritual disciplines. Sanctification also seeks to apply spirituality to all areas of health in our life. There are several spheres of health that are all interconnected. When one area of our health is lacking, it impacts us in other ways. And vise versa, when one area of our health is thriving it helps us to flourish in our other categories of health.

This stuff can kinda seem like a no-brainer, and yet I still find myself having to remind myself to focus on all aspects of health.

Spiritual Health
Arguably the center of our health. Drawing closer to God. Being present with God and finding Joy in Him.

Physical Health
A huge aspect of health that can be broken into subcategories that I'll explain. Exercise! Our bodies were meant to move! Hygiene. Medication management. Actually seeing the doctor.

Nutrition
This deserves it's own category. Eating right consistently is critical to our entire well being. We generally already know what's good and bad for ourselves.

Sleep
Nothing good happens after 2pm. Go to sleep early and get the rest we need. Setting a consistent routine sleep cycle.

Emotional Health
Our mood really does effect our day to day choices. This aspect of health is closely tied to our behavior. Sometimes we let our emotions get the best of us. It takes some introspection to understand ourselves.

Cognitive Health
Also known as intellectual health. We need to think about our thoughts and often change the way we perceive and think.

Financial Health
The discipline of saving money, investing, budgeting and not over spending.

Occupational Health
What we do for a living isn't our identity, but our vocational calling does play a role in pursuing our purposes. Not everyone has the luxury to work doing something they love. But regardless of what career we're in or pursuing, we can make a difference. Hard work pays off.

Environmental Health
I consider this one's living situation. Maintaining a orderly home. A safe place of peace, restoration and not of conflict.

Relational Health
A vital aspect of health that often gets neglected. It often takes intentionality to reach out to friends, grow in community and create opportunities of kindness. Quality time comes out of quantity time.

I remember..

I remember being so deeply in love with God. I remember being filled in awe. I remember God non-stop speaking to me and drawing me closer. I remember tasting the depth of his love. I remember being so fascinated by the things unseen. I remember wanting nothing more than to spend just a few more minutes being synchronized in communion with God. I remember a burning uncontainable joy that I used to have. I remember listening to worship music non-stop, and hearing God whisper to me in so many different ways. I remember encountering the power of his Holy Spirit. I remember my faith being stronger than how it's been lately. I remember having tons of christian friends and having long deep conversations, reading and studying the bible daily, listening to different authors, pastors and teachers,, going to bible studies, going on retreats, doing ministry, being discipled and making disciples. I remember not needing a reason to do something, except to glorify God and make him first. I remember pursuing obedience and holiness because I desired to grow in intimacy with God. I remember the energy I used to have. I remember seeing and feeling God through the midst of dark depression days. I remember getting tons of visions and dreams. I remember always having worship in my heart, and learning to die to myself. I remember God's grace covering all of my sins, guilt and shame. Why are these only things I can remember and not more present with me today?

Sometimes i can't tell if i'm too hard on myself.. or not hard enough.. Seminary filled me with a lot of head knowledge, but somehow I've forgotten a sense of heart knowledge. Somewhere I began seeing going to church, reading the bible, and other spiritual disciplines feel like it was more of a chore rather than a desire. Somewhere the the idols of this world crept in more and more. Pursuing a relationship, seeking material wealth, seeking entertainment and comfort more than anything else. Somewhere down the line, I became less passionate, less confident, less in tuned with putting my faith in God first. I made excuses. I stopped, "feeling it." I became a fat lazy sloth. I lacked community and accountability. I had a much harder time sensing God, and only focused on living for myself. Seeking something to fill the void and yet never being satisfied. I wrestled with my sinful ways and in a sense closed myself off from seeking God. I fell into despair, depression and a negative attitude. I feel like I lost my way and ran off like a prodigal son. I ran off trying to seek happiness in people and things. God has been with me the whole time, but I have not acknowledged him and treasured him as he deserves. I guess my heart hardened and I wandered in a dark ocean. Sure there are always a few moments when I run back to the Father. But then why do I continue to run away again like a prodigal son? Why am i so inconsistent? Why do i continue to struggle to live for him? Why does my heart keep seeking idols before him? Why have I drifted so far? Why have I become so blind and deaf? Open my eyes and ears to see and hear you Father.

I had a co-worker mention how he is against "organized religion" and going to church. There's a lot that I completely understood. There's leaders in ministry that don't set a good example. there's bad examples of christians for sure. There's cults and distorted teaching. There's so much division and controversy surrounding the Bible. My friend thinks, "well if the Bible was written by flawed men, (who apparently are inspired) then how exactly can we take the Bible as reliable and true?) He had several arguments and personal beliefs and legitimate questions and concerns. in listening to his different beliefs, it made me realize how important my beliefs were to me and how I haven't been matching up to my beliefs. He talked about how Christians are hypocritical. And i completely understand that. He didn't like being told what to do or how to live. And i dunno, it just feels like God used a conversation to remind me of all the things that I do hold to be true. There's somethings that require faith that I can't explain well. There's One True God, the Bible is true and Jesus really did die for my sins to give his church salvation and reconciliation, justification and sanctification. Life isn't pointless. This life isn't the end. There is a loving God, not just waiting in the afterlife of heaven but a loving God outside of time that is always with us at every moment. My friend didn't get the point of knowing who God is. He didn't want to go to heaven forever. He just wanted to live for himself and then die and have that the end.

 Somehow hearing his very different views, increased my faith. Two other Christian co-workers also jumped in the conversation and were trying to convince him of the positive things of church and the truth of scripture. My other friend wasn't interested in subscribing to Christian things. He believed that there were or are several different gods. Trying to argue the truth and reality of scripture and God isn't always easy when they haven't really experienced God, or have only experienced a negative view of church. He ended up leaving because he had to go. And even tho he didn't really change his mind about things, maybe he will at least give it more thought. He likes basketball, so i said, "Yeah there are definitely some bad coaches and you can have bad teammates, but that doesn't mean there aren't good coaches and good teammates out there." And he said, "yeah that's actually a good point." that he understood. so even if we may not break through to someone.. in a way we have to let the Holy Spirit do his work. idk.. somehow, it reminded me how important it is to actually be confident in my faith and what I believe is true, and who i believe God is. God used this conversation to really remind me what is valuable and how our spiritual life far surpasses this physical world. So if God is who I believe he is, and the God of the Bible is very true, my life should follow in accordance and in joyful obedience. Ask and it shall be given to you, Seek and ye shall find, knock and the door will be open unto you.. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Consistency, Faith, Holiness in 2020

Christmas and New Years was good. Lot of my buddies came back home for vacation. Always fun to see friends you haven't seen in years. Too many get together parties to count. So much good food. I got to take off over two weeks of work. It's was nice to not have to worry about anything. Having a nice long break makes it hard to return back to the real life grind.

Resolutions throughout the year are important. But I guess even more so during the start of a new year. In a way, it feels like it's an opportunity to reset. Technically, we can choose to make a decision of change at any minute. The difficulty of making certain goals is that they are hard to measure and hard to stay committed to. Anyone can write a blog listing their goals, but few can actually maintain their resolve. Sometime goals aren't specific enough, sometimes they just aren't realistic, or there's a lack of consistency to keep up one's motivation and intention. 2019 had it's share of difficulties. At least next year I'll finally be able to see 20/20. lol. it's weird how we have to strive to be content in life, and yet also push ourselves to be better and happier. if we were fully content and happy in the present, then would we really need goals? my buddy told me, bruh i think u overthink all dis stuff. 

i started using one word to encapsulate my general goal for the new year. I've used words like confidence, health, self-discipline, self-love, grace, community, flourishing, being with God and peace. to an extent i grew in those areas. But I definitely need to continue focusing on these in particular. It is possible to be too critical on yourself and that's no bueno either. But at the same time, I think it's important to keep pushing yourself to strive to become the best version of yourself. In a way, a new year is a reminder of all these goals that I need to keep focusing on. a lot of these goals are achieved by consistency. As I contemplate on these goals, I really think my word this year should be Consistency. This year instead of starting up some new goals, i think i'm jus gonna work on being more consistent with my pre-existing goals I made. it's easy to try really hard for a day or week. But to continually work on your goals day in and day out is where you'll really see growth, change, and transformation. Creating good habits take weeks or longer to truly develop. Exercise, nutrition, sleep, meditation, etc.  
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Looking for Alaska

Yesterday I finished a Hulu original called "Looking for Alaska". Alaska is one of the characters. and it's based off a novel by John Green. It's basically a high school drama show, but it really got me. They go to school in like a camp ground. They basically try to pull pranks without getting busted. It's a mixture of fun yet dealing with some heavy topics in life. It covers things like love, friendship, betrayal, coping with their mistakes in life, dealing with loss, world religions, etc. It has pretty good character development and dynamics. Too bad it's only on Hulu. I'm also excited to watch Jack Ryan season 2! on Amazon prime when it comes out. so good. 

CA, Enneagram, Greatest Goal

CA

There's kind of been a lot on my mind lately. usually that means it's time for a blog. So recently I let go of a part time job. that was a huge weight off my shoulders. then i went through some very challenging weeks dealing with a lot of pain, anger, depression and loss. Then I went up to California for my old roommate's wedding, and also a mini vacation. It was really nice to be part of the wedding party and getting to meet some really god honoring Christians. Some Christians just go above and beyond and you can see how genuine and authentic they are. Anyways, it was such a positive thing to witness a marriage focused on honoring God/ Jesus. 

There was a moment during the wedding, where the wedding music started to play, the bride started to walk down the isle, and all their friends and family stood up to surround them with love and support. Then I looked at my friend's face, and I could see he was also getting choked up and teary too. And I've never seen so much raw emotion jus hit at a moment. it was powerful to witness such a deep love, not only between the bride and groom but everyone present as well. And they purposely were intentional about making the wedding/ marriage about God more than themselves. 

Anywho... uhhh yeah, it was also nice to just relax and not have any work to stress about. I think I really value my personal free time. I enjoy freedom, rest and recreation. (I mean who doesn't, lol). I kinda already knew this, but it's becoming more evident in my life.. I put so much priority on protecting my free time. Sometimes it can lead to slothfulness if I end up being too much of a couch potato. 


So here's the 9 types of the Enneagram.

1. The Reformer/ Perfectionist - Principled,  "I do everything the right way"  
2. The Helper - Generous, Giving,  "I must help others"
3. The Achiever - Adaptable, Driven, "I need to succeed"
4. The Individualist/ Romantic - Expressive,  "I am unique"
5. The Thinker/ Observer, Investigator - Innovative,  "I need to understand the world"
6. The Loyalist - Engaging, "I am affectionate and skeptical"
7. Enthusiast/ Skeptic - Spontaneous,  "I am happy and open to new things"
8. The Leader/ Challenger - Self-confident,  "I must be strong"
9. The Peacemaker/ Mediator - Receptive, "I am at peace."

The Enneagram is this psychological archetype thing, kinda like a myer's brigg test of personality types and distinguishing differences of individual's core motivations, (if that makes any sense.) Uhh so apparently, out of the nine types, I'm a number Nine which is "The Peacemaker". I value interpersonal skills, relationships, communication and being aware of my body and emotions. I think exercise does a lot for all aspects of my self-awareness. 

"Nines are accepting, trusting and stable. They are usually creative, optimistic and supportive, but can also be too willing to go along with others to keep peace. They want everything to go smoothly and be without conflict, but they can also tend to be complacent, simplifying problems and minimizing anything upsetting. They are able to bring people together and heal conflicts."

I don't fully understand a lot of it, and I know that none of us can be summed up in one personality type but it's interesting to study. A lot of these types are interconnected, and we can move towards a certain type depending on our most healthy or unhealthy self. If anything, it sheds a little light to help people understand themselves and others a little more. 

Greatest Goal

When I think about the 8 dimensions of wellness, I really start to advocate that our Spiritual health is really the core. If any aspect of our health is struggling, it definitely effects our other dimensions of wellness. 

I was listening to someone's testimony.. and idk, it kinda hit me. They said, "Drawing closer to God should be our greatest goal." And I was like, "Yeah.. I agree with that statement." But then I look at my life and think.. hmm my life really doesn't pursue that goal as my top priority. If you were to look at how I spend my time, money and energy.. u'd see that I prioritize just being a lazy sloth who just wants to play and have fun. I guess, i feel convicted, because I know I want to put God first.. but my life really doesn't demonstrate that.. And i say, "Well God is so metaphysical.. and abstract sometimes." Yeah.. but that doesn't make our relationship with God any less important, real or true.. hmm ..perhaps I just make excuses of why I don't want to commit my time and energy into it because really I'm selfish and just want to stay home and chill. 

yeah.. so .. i feel like i have this inner conflict within myself of wanting to change, pursue what God has called me to, and strive towards being the best version of myself, and.... then.. also just being lazy cat who just wants to rest and not do anythin that requires energy.. lol that sounds pathetic. When I look at my spirituality.. I honestly don't feel close to God.. and that's cuz i don't put much focus towards growing closer to God. 

So to summarize... I think these are the questions I need to ponder more.. "What am I focused on? What is my greatest goal? Am I being purposeful to achieve my goals?" What do I need to do to flourish and thrive in all aspects of my health?" 

One Day at a Time

Have you ever had to make a big decision? well ofc u have. I can be super indecisive. There's always pros and cons to weigh. There's trying to predict what each possible future might look like. and well.. in short.. after a lot of contemplation, prayer and talking to a bunch of people, i decided to accept another part time job on top of my other job.

My previous jobs had a lot of flexibility. There's a lot of great things about this new job. But one of the tough parts is that it starts at 530am. Which means I hafta get used to sleeping around 9-10pm and waking up around 4am. I'm definitely a night person and not a morning person, so this will be challenging. This new job will basically involve individual counseling in mental health/substance abuse and group therapy groups. It's smething I feel that I can do, but sometimes I worry if I have what it takes to be faithful to everything, and juggle two tough positions. I know it'll get overwhelming and stressful, so part of me is just preparing myself to be ready for the challenge.

If i mess up my sleep schedule, i know life is gonna be hard. I gotta fix my sleep habits. Part of my personal philosophy is to be and become the best version of myself. And that ultimately requires me asking God for help, to receive the strength and energy to accomplish everything. And it's when I'm at the top of my game, I have the ability to educate, support and encourage others to grow in their holistic health and self-care. but yeah, lack of sleep makes me p miserable.

Just take one day at a time Chris, you'll be okay. You can do it! lol or not. we'll see.

Adulting / Trip to CA

Today was a busy day. Traveling all over the place, going to meetings, making appointments, doing work stuff, and trying to do everything right. And surprisingly, I was able to do everything right. Usually something goes wrong, ppl cancel, i forget something, or im running late. But today everything went right. And i kept thinking.. how much of trying to do things right is me being a perfectionist, and how much is me just trying my best to be responsible and professional. know what i mean? I started making a long mental list of things i'm constantly trying to do right.

taking care of your health
do all the things work requires
eating right consistently and avoiding all da sugar and junk food
going to church and being intentional with being with God
sleeping early, ugh that's kinda hard for me
managing money, saving money and investing money
do chores like laundry, cleaning house, yard work etc.
good hygiene practices ofc
dental care actually requires more effort then ppl think
Working out at the gym at least twice a week
being positive, caring and kind to others

like there's just too much stuff that adulting requires. something usually hasta give. i ain't even married or have kids..just a cat. and like.. how the heck am I supposed to take care of everything and make a healthy routine.. it requires so much energy, discipline and intentionality. i'm already hard on myself as it is. and then i pile these expectations on myself. i mean it's good to try your best, work hard, focus on holistic health and be disciplined. but man.. sometimes i just need to chill

it's funny that i feel so tired on a day off when i accomplish nothing. and yet when i hit the gym, go to work and i'm out doing errands i actually have more energy. 

So my old roommate, finally proposed to a girl... in the Biola school library lol. such a great idea lol. My old roommate is definitely one of the coolest guys. I can't speak enough praises about him, and he found a really godly girl too. So I gotta go up to California in October for a week. I'm definitely excited for him. and they're such a good example of Christian courtship, and i know they'll have a strong Christian marriage putting God first, and idk.. it just makes me feel behind in life. ah nvm, let's not dwell on that lol.  so yeah, i booked a flight, and hotel etc. It'll be like 5, almost 6 years since i've been back to CA. It'll definitely be nice to see some old friends. crazy how distance on this globe can really make friendships grow apart. My family is in Hawaii, but part of me is still in CA. And i guess that's why i feel torn. I definitely overthink and over analyze.. so for now, let's not do that lol.