Conviction

Got home 10:30pm and said to myself.. "well i am kinda tired, minus well jus go straight to sleep." Now i woke up and it's 4:30am. This is why i never sleep early. Whenever i sleep before 11 i jus wake up at an odd hour and feel extremely confused.
should i go to the gym?   psh that's silly..
should i read a book?   Chris when do you ever read?
should i do homework?  ..nope
should i play a game? that's pretty useless..
should i go on the internet? that's mindless too, even tho im doin it now
should i eat?  ..but i have no food..
should i go out to find food? what's open? it's so cold outside
should i take another hot shower? ..but i take too many already..
should i jus lie in bed, pretend im sleepy? blankets are still warm..
should i stare at the clock..   lol why?
should i blog and think of things to do? man..  it jus makes me hungry
should i wake up my cats and play with their fat? hmm..
should i watch cartoons? hmm... maybe later
wow it's pretty sad that only then intentionally spending some time with God crosses my mind..


it's kinda weird how when we're faced with free time, we go straight to feeding our physical and mental needs. how comes spiritual needs seem to get the back-burner? Why does food, sleep, recreation, media, and other comforts seem more of an immediate need or desire than communicating with God? I guess i could technically be abiding in God whatever i'm doing. but i'm probably not that in tune with God while im playin a silly game. How come i seek to occupy myself with little insignificant distractions rather then coming before my God in worship?

If God is everything we say He is and truly believe He is God Almighty, then why do often we lack such reverence and awe? When we truly see His sovereignty and how loving He is in nature we are filled with a sense of wonder and then automatically long for a deeper faith of devotion. The reason we don't treat God as first in our lives very often, is because we don't truly see who God really is very often. Seeing His glory, holiness and tasting His perfect love is what leads us to worship Him for who He is.

We don't need to restrain ourselves to a strict set of bible reading or amount of prayer as our only way of coming before God. Sometimes it seems like it becomes more of a task than a joy. Find new avenues to worship God, it could be taking a walk, drawing a picture, listening to a song, journaling, or focusing on another spiritual discipline such as confession, repentance, fellowship, rest, retreat, or other varieties of prayer and scripture meditation. In every activity, open yourself to God and invite Him to be a part of it.

I used to be confused if fasting was a spiritual discipline or not cuz of what certain professors have said. But when i really think about it, fasting is just denying your physical hunger and replacing it with an absolute need and dependency on God. It's so hard do deny ourselves and resist stuffing food in us every few hours. I'm not saying we should all jus stop desiring temporal needs. By no means! lol.. however we are to relentlessly pursue our eternal needs first. and if we really think about it, God satisfies even our temporal needs too by the strength and power of His love. In our weakness, God is magnified, because we realize that we've been trusting in other idols to uphold and sustain us. Now that i'm really thinking about it, isn't spending time with God in a daily devotional, or maybe jus in a few moments of quietness often the highlight of our day? if not, shouldn't it be?

I was driving home from school yesterday. i had my windows down.. and i was making airplane wings with my arm out the window, but then i stopped cuz i got kinda embarrassed.. But jus listening to a soft worship song directed on bringing glory to God, and having the cool wind engulf you while you slowly drive through the streets is quite relaxing. We need to find solitude not jus every now and then. we need to be consistent.. would you only talk to your spouse every once a week on sunday? in order to grow closer to God, we need to cultivate our relationship with Him everyday. We need solitude not just to clear our thoughts, but so we can open ourselves to God in prayer. We need make time to be available to Him and become more intentional on receiving from the Holy Spirit. Sometimes it may seem hard to find God because we arn't really seeking Him. “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."