dreams

i find myself getting easily stressed out. Sometimes they arn't even that big of a problem, but it still eats at me. I find myself falling into gaps of depression. And sometimes i'm not quite sure why. it's easy to think of easier times or how hopefully the future will be easier. But i guess i'm realizing that it's not about living for easy times. Perhaps God is telling me to be in this present moment, even if circumstances arn't the greatest. Even if a situation is tough, difficult and challenging, God is saying to overcome these hurdles by trusting Him, and walking with Him in the midst of these trials. Sometimes we just need to trust that this is exactly where God wants us to be for the present time. And eventually God will bring deliverance.

It's quite exhausting when you have so many things to do in a day/week. I find myself worried about time and getting things done. I think i'm having a hard time appreciating school this semester. I'm not really into my profs or learning hebrew. It jus seems like a lot of academic work and assignments for decent grades. I thought seminaries would go easier, focus on fellowship, worship and grace. But right now i jus feel like we're overwhelmed with reading books, writing papers and studying for test. it's hard not to let that anxiety go haywire and freak out. i want simplicity and not a bunch of demanding things to do. Ive been havin lots of dreams lately. Sometimes it's so fun to jus stay in dreams.

lol i jus talked about trusting God in present difficulties, then i jus complain..

For this semester's internship, i have to go visit at least 15 churches and meet with their pastor counselor. 15 is a lot. -__-

I feel like im in my prime right now. Well i might have been more athletic and stronger before, but as for health and consistency i've been doing pretty well. Makes me kinda sad since i kno im about to lose my healthy eating diet and probably lose the habit of living at the gym soon. Trying to maintain a strict diet and training routine becomes harder and harder.

gah im gonna be late for my boring class


also, i was thinking.. when we say we're going to live for God, it still seems like even in pursuing that, we're still jus really living for ourselves for the most part. maybe ill jus go to africa

we got it too easy here in america



OH! i jus remembered my dream..

i was playing with 3 dogs. 1 little black one, a medium brown one, and a big white one. They were hiding under the chairs, and the big one tackled my mom. and i was tryin to take pictures of them. hmm..  then i guess all the church kids and i were playing with waterballoons,  there was some weird lady at some house.. she was getting really mad and upset.. she said while we were playin water balloons we hit a bunch of random people at the park.. so we had to go apologize.. Somewhere in this dream i was also talkin to wolverine.

The other night i had this dream where my 2 friends we're making a spiderman parody utube movie, they even blew up a building. Then the next thing i notice my car falls off a cliff, but it's hanging from the edge. i desperately cling onto the back of the trunk, and try to climb on top of the car clinging to window cracks and whatnot. then i slip! and i was like "ah! oh no!" but then i caught something, and crawled my way back up to safety. there was a school bus, and on the bus i met my old friends. And i was like "shaun, marc, what u guys been up to?" One said.. "jus drinkin boba and getting fat." Then i went to my high school and i saw ike sleepin on 3 cafeteria chairs, he said he was tired cuz he works the night shift.  Then i saw this kid drawing mazes and pictures and i was like.. "wow cool drawings bro." Oh and there was this girl that i was tryin to ignore, but i had to walk to throw a banana peel in the trash, but i was trying hard not to make any eye contact.

Another dream, i me and greg were in comfortable lazy chairs.. he was super tired, i fell asleep in my dream. Then i was hungry so i broke into a house, which was actually my house.. and everything was dark. I found an ice cream cone in the freezer, but it was melted gross ice cream. So i tried to put it back, but i broke it in half. Then i hid in the dark cuz i heard my step dad coming up the stairs.. then Bemo from adventure time was like, "oh hey chris!" and im like, "No bemo! go away!" then my step dad found me and i said, "oh we're playin hide and seek."

I had this other dream where i was watchin some girl do a lot of pull ups and do gymnastics. We didnt realize that gregs whole family was waiting for us in the van. We got into the van, and the cops pulled us over cuz we ran a red light. But while we were pulled over we saw a shooter bad guy at a restaurant, so i pulled out my camera phone to video tape while everyone was running and screaming.

I had another dream where i was chasing a dog that was cursed by a spell. So this regular dog became power, ferocious, and very angry. I actually had to choke the dog to stop it from attacking me.   
Wow im realllly chincha gonna be late for school now.. I had a star wars ship that could travel through time and space. I found these scary portals under the ocean that could teleport you to different times. I was trying to find the right portal but kept choosing the wrong one. Most lead me to a deep spooky underwater ocean. I found one portal that led to my younger self. So i saw pictures of me when i was really young. Anyways, i decided that instead of going to find the dog, i'll go after the wizard who cursed the dog. Then i found the wizard sleeping, took his wand and broke it. But later one, we discovered that his true power was in his staff and not his wand. Anyway, i remember i found myself in a flying war zone. There we're these huge blimps like in avatar. The fire nation was on the attack. So we we're fighting bad guys, but then this girl took me really far behind the blimps, and i wondered why we were goin so far away from the action. She said, you never know if someone is up to something, so we better check. Then we found this airplane flying through the forest. Instead of going for a direct attack, we tailed them. The leader was the ice king from adventure time. Somehow he changed his plane to a little orange bird eating a peach. and the bird was flying around a tree trying to collect floating coins. Then as we followed it, it slipped away under a horizontal tree, the ice king had a secret place where he had all these identical birds but in different colors. So he told one of the orange birds to be a decoy. We caught up to the bird, and realized that he didn't have the same peach. Then i somehow ended up in a restaurant, and a girl forgot her purse, she told me she didn't want it, so i was like "ok i'll jus put it back." then i went to the front and remember eating a mint that was really good.

lol sorry my dreams make absolutely no sense.

I wish i could be in naruto and get paid to do missions, train my ninja skills and protect a village. but i guess that's called joining the army in real life.