R@nD0m

As time goes on, i'm starting to see how i enjoy counseling more than pastoring. I feel like i can only preach so many messages without sounding redundant. My creative juices have gone dry. But in counseling you get to listen to someone deal with their deeper feelings. You actually get to have a conversation and ask questions about them. Some people really just need extra attention and someone to listen to. One thing i learned, is that sometimes i'm so concerned with what i'm going to say next, i just cut the person off from things they wanted to share. The great thing about counseling is that your goal isnt to fix their problem, but to direct them to God. By reflecting their content back to them, asking questions, listening to the intensity of their emotion, and listening to the Holy Spirit, you can actually help other people realize and uncover what's really going on in their life. next week i gotta start lookin for an internship at a parachurch for a counselor to mentor me. For the longest time, i wanted someone to disciple/mentor me. But when i think about it, there are very few people who i would actually like to sit under, and very few people who can offer the time/commitment.

lol it was kinda funny in our counseling class when we were all introducing ourselves, cuz when it came to my turn i said.. "well it'd be nice to become a pastoral counselor in the future, but right now i'm the one who needs the counseling." It just felt funny that i was in a class of 20 other spiritual counselors, admitting that i'm the one who could use some help. The prof will probably use me in a 1on1 demonstration for some "realization/spiritual intake" skills in class. least i get free counseling.

Lately ive sensed my discernment getting sharper. When i hear things in sermons that just arnt true, bible verses taken out of context, or things falsely practiced, i cringe inside. I think all of us have had experiences where we know something isn't right, and yet we dont take courage to say anything about it. I think i'm beginning to hear God direct me a little better. It's hard when other people will say otherwise, but when it comes down to it, we need to hold to our convictions when God speaks to us. He's counsel is wiser than others and our own.

I asked a few ppl how their doing spiritually on a scale from 1-10, and i'm glad people do feel close to God. I'm actually doing worst then most people. It's easy to talk about God, but how much time do i really spend with Him? I need to learn patience in seeking Him, and have the self-discipline to just simply being with Him. Why does it seem like for the most part, i feel absent from God. Why does my heart wander? Why have i had such few intimate encounters lately? My thoughts get preoccupied and i always feel like i need to be doing something. I miss hawaii where i could jus put my shoes on, walk outside in the neighborhood, find the park and communicate with God. ahh i want shave ice! i miss bein home with my parents too. Life is jus so much easier and better when surrounded by family.

i think i think too much. lately i jus been consumed with worries, anxieties, stress about the future, and i can't seem to just find rest and be present with God. Why is it so hard to sit down and talk to God. i can barely last 2 minutes without being distracted. i definitely think worship music helps tho.. i definitely need more worship music.

gahh so much reading for school, i wish there were good books that i was actually interested in. I hate reading books that have no point, stupid points or simple things you already know. If your gonna write a book have something worth saying! Get to the point, teach me, capture me or entertain me. books are so boring! Perhaps this is why i like comic books, theyre short, bright colored and fast action paced. i also find myself extremely critical on movies too. romances are jus about sex, comedies have lost their humor, action ones usually have bad plots or bad acting/dialogue. Wheres the movies with deep conflict, trials, pain, surprising twist, character development and stuff that makes you think about life?

super random, but my roommate's fiance has been watchin Gosip Girl. So i kinda watched a few episodes. so much drama! it's so cheesy, but i find myself wanting to know what happens next. this guy likes this girl, but they broke up cuz they said the timing was bad, but then this prince wants to marry the girl, so the british dude charles decides to propose before the prince does, but it's too late and she decides to marry the prince. im like "omgosh!" all the characters are SUPER annoying, rich and snobby. all the characters hook up and break up like every 3 episodes. Theyre all mean and jus talk about everyone elses dirt. save the drama for ya mama. maybe i should get back into kdrama..

i really wanna buy a video game that comes out in october, and i really want this new comic book that comes out in november. lol i cant believe how much i think about it. It's funny how we always look forward to new movies/tv shows, events, and new releases. i jus want it to be christmas break already! im kinda jus blabbering on right now.. ok bye