Dealing with Stress

I like to think that I can handle stress pretty well. But lately, i've been starting to question that. I can definitely feel when i start to build up stress. It's not good to hold it all in. This is why exercise is such a good therapeutic outlet for me. But the past few days I've been so tired, all you want to do is knock out..

"This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." -Joshua 1:8-9
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Taking a Break

You ever tell yourself, "hmm I think I really need a break from everything." lol and part of me also wants to include "..and everyone" but i know that's not true. An old friend once described it as taking a mental or internal vacation into your own mind. It's like taking time to purposely do deep self-reflection, self- exploration, meditation, and soul searching. I find myself contemplating my goals, ambitions, and resolves of who I want to be. Really I just need to re-center myself so my mind isn't so stressed out.

This year my goal was to find a greater sense of peace. So I wanted to take a few weeks of metaphysical solitude. lol whatever that means. Usually I fill up my free time binge watching shows, spending too much time playin games or on youtube, or on my phone texting or watching endless videos just out of boredom. i kinda get why old folks are always complaining about our millennial generation. I definitely need a break from screens for a while, maybe I might be a little more present. i don't think this will last very long. lol

It's funny how when u have too much time to yourself, you want to be busy, productive, out with friends and out pursuing your dreams. But then when your at work, or out with people too long there's really nothing you want more than to just go home and chill.
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Tidying Up and Facing Challenges

you ever try to log into something, but you cant remember your login name or password. You start to have way too many passwords and variations of it, with capitals, numbers and symbols? lol well, that's not what i wanted to talk about.

i usually think to myself, oh yeah I definitely need to blog about that... and then when i get on, im like.. now what did i want to say again?

oh ya, so I watched a show on Netflix called Tidying Up by Marie Kondo..

Young Once

https://www.youngonce.ca/

Just watched this show called "Young Once." It's all on youtube. and season 2 is about to get released. It's cool cuz its not only filmed in CA but at Biola University! I went to their graduate school, Talbot. But yeah its cool to see the campus. It brings back memories. It has a Laguna Beach / Hills feel to it. The producers do set things up but you can tell that a lot of it is authentic conversations and reactions. It's about Christian dating / courtship and how Christian faith and values are part of those relationships and friendships. One of the main characters, Cassie, is also on the current bachelor season. I wouldn't be surprised if she gets picked for the next bachelorette. They have a comic relief named Tony, and they just film his random adventures and conversations with friends. Anyways, it's worth a watch. Makes me wish I went to Biola for my undergrad. It's pretty awesome to be in that Christian utopia. 

I watched the netflix movie called "Black Mirror Bandersnatch." That was cool cuz u actually make choices which determine the future timeline of events. Black Mirror in general is lit.

Lastly, I'm tryin to binge through 73 episodes of an anime called "World Trigger." It has a really good plot. It's not up to par with My Hero Academia, but it's still p good. 

I also caught up to "Fear the Walking Dead." Latest seasons are super good.

Over the past several months I binged like entire seasons of "The Office." Didn't realize I actually didn't see a lot of episodes before. Such a classic.

uhm oh there's a animated DC movie called, "The Reign of Superman." ima watch tmrw. There's also finally season 3 of "Young Justice"! but idk so far i like previous seasons better.

Also saw "Jurassic World." It was aight.
It's so nice to just watch a show and escape reality sometimes.

For the longest time i've been confused about if periods, commas and question marks go inside or outside of quotation marks. 


The most common question people ask about quotation marks is whether periods and commas go inside or outside, and the answer depends on where your audience lives because in American English we always put periods and commas inside quotation marks, but in British English periods and commas can go inside or outside.semicolons, colons, and dashes always go outside quotation marks.If the question mark or exclamation point is part of your quotation, it stays inside; but if the question mark or exclamation point are not part of the quotation, they go outside the closing quotation mark.

Ok thanks google

Peace

This year my main 2019 new year's resolution and goal sort of just came to me this week. It can be summed up in one word. Peace. In previous years, I had words like Confidence, Discipline, Community, Flourishing, Self-Love, and the phrase "Being with God." These are all still important self-improvement goals that I need to continue to work on. But this year, for some reason I was less concerned with trying to be the best version of myself all the time. I'm usually very critical on myself and try all sorts of things to better myself. But instead of focusing too much on trying to grow in my holistic health, I thought I could really just use a sense of peace.

Peace isn't the absence of problems, but the addition of power to overcome them. Even if life can feel like a thunderstorm, we can find peace knowing that God is with us, that he is sovereign and in control.

My mind wanders and ponders way too much. I think about the past and the future too much. It causes me to worry or spiral into negative thinking. I realize that these thoughts aren't helpful. Sometimes I find it better to just go exercise, play games or watch a movie so that I become numb. So I'm not exactly where I thought I'd be by now. I have too much debt, I stress out about money, I struggle with loneliness and singleness, and have issues of depression. I think we all search for a sense of belonging, and a sense of fulfillment. If we are living without purpose and not utilizing our potential, I think its common to feel unsatisfied with ourselves. Even if life isn't the way you dreamed it would be and you're not exactly how you'd like to be or where you'd like to be, you can still find peace. 

I have had to deal with a conflict recently, and it's caused me unnecessary stress. Some people are just oblivious to how obnoxious, insensitive and rude they are. It can be super annoying. But instead of fighting back, i'm trying to just forgive and let go. 

I think the most important thing for me right now is finding a deeper sense of peace. How? I think it goes back to "Being with God" and receiving rest and peace in the love of God. Also, it helps to just notice when i'm having negative thoughts, and then  trying to switch that off and just live in the present. Every moment is a chance we can abide in God. Sometimes just 30 seconds of connecting with God can really change everything. God is always with us and sometimes I forget that. God help me to be at peace. Help me to share that peace with others. Hope everyone has a peaceful new year!

Renovation of the Heart

Feels like I haven't blogged in a while. Just haven't taken the time. Here's what's new. 

My mom decided to renovate the house. So we got some dudes who apparently aren't licensed contractors.. but they did a decent job. Renovations never go according to plan. Houses require a little too much attention if you ask me. Anyways, we redid my entire bathroom. Like the flooring and everything. We also redid my bedroom so now I have more space and closet space. I didn't realize how much clothes I have. Oh yeah, the big thing is we put in some air conditioners finally! So that's really nice. Oh and we had wood rot so that was a lot of repairs as well.

While doing my bathroom we realized we needed to call a plumber. He then said we have to change out a lot of our water system piping to prevent future water problems. And that was super expensive. Everything is expensive. Anyways, we're close to being finish. We're just gonna get our carpet clean. I like carpet. Like legit awesome carpet. I don't get how ppl live with hard floors.

Renovations are like getting a hair cut. It's something new and fresh. It also reminds me of how God renovates our heart. Everyday is a brand new start. We have all these thoughts, dreams and ideas. But then from there, it's a matter of taking intentional action to achieve our goals. A lot of times I have something I want to do or pursue and then something else comes up and we realized we're distracted from pursuing what's important to us. (like trying to go to the gym but instead taking a nap). Change, transformation, growth and becoming a better version of yourself is basically internal renovation. It's cleaning up all the junk and replacing it with the right perspective.

help

God,
Sometimes it feels so easy to get distracted. to fall away from your word, will and way. I feel frustrated right now. i go through so many negative emotions i'm not quite sure what to do. i continue to sin and lust and live for myself rather than for your glory. sometimes it's very hard for me to come to you when I know how much i sin. I understand your grace but sometimes i have a really hard time trusting and receiving it. I guess, sometimes i have these expectations and plans for myself and they never seem to go right. help me to pursue holiness and to grow in repentance. I feel like i'm often struggling, and no matter how hard I try things just don't go the way I hoped. Help me to trust you more and to not lean on my own strength. Forgive me for all my sins of commission and sins of omission. Help me to put you first. Help me to grow in confidence, self-discipline and self-love. Help me to abide in you even when it seems hard or when I don't quite feel like it. Heal the brokenness inside me, renew and restore me.

Trust

God help me to trust you even when I have no idea what to do. Help me to stay in the present and not try to overthink everything. Help me to slow down and to not try and do everything on my own. Help me to not worry so much. Help me to grow in self-confidence. Speak to me and help me to be obedient to your will. I pray that you'd give me guidance and peace. Help me to find rest in you and to seek you first.

My Hero Academia

I officially consider Boku No Hero Academia, aka "My Hero Academia" my new favorite anime. It just does everything right. I love the characters, superpowers, animation, the comedy, the plot, the action, music and just everything about it.. I would say My Hero Academia is even better than Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood, One Punch Man, Dragon Ball Z, Attack on Titan, Sword Art Online, Death Note, Legend of Korra, Justice League, Young Justice, Teen Titans, Clone Wars, Seven Deadly Sins, Voltron, Bleach, Gurren Lagann, Hunter X Hunter, etc. etc. This anime just beats them all.

Without spoiling it, it's about a boy named Izuku Midoriya, who wants to become a hero, but doesn't really have any powers of his own. 80% of the population are born with innate "quirks" or abilities. And for whatever reason he just didn't get one. There's also adult professional heroes that fight off villains and protect the city.  Even though Izuku wasn't born with any special powers, he's a great strategist and has a strong teacher to help him along the way. He then enters into a prestige high school where he's able to train with his classmates. For most of the anime he's trying to build his self-confidence to pursue becoming the world's greatest hero.

Every episode is great. It doesn't really have filler episodes too! My Hero Academia just has the right formula. The crazy thing is that I haven't even finished it yet. I've been binge watching it on Hulu this entire week. I'm about to start season 3 soon and I just can't get enough of it. Anyways, hope anyone out there reading this watches it and gives it a fair shot. Tell your friends! You guys hafta check it out. it's soooo gooood!! ahh!


https://kissanime.ac/Anime/Boku-no-Hero-Academia-Dub.93523/

Mindset and Goals

"Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion." -Muhammad Ali

"People always asked me why I was smiling. Other guys had a sour face or they were pissed off that they had to do another rep or another set. But I looked forward to the work. Why? Because I knew that with every rep that I did, every set that I did, with every weight that I lifted, I got one step closer to turning my vision into reality." -Arnold Schwarzenegger

Now that I've finished graduate school and my practicum, I have a little more time to focus on my goals. Sure I still have career goals to move towards, but while I was in school I sort of put nutrition and training on the back burner. I ate whatever I wanted and told myself I didn't have the energy to exercise. Well now that I have the time I want to take my goals more seriously.

There's an app called MyFitnessPal. It's pretty useful for counting calories, carbs, fats, protein, sugar etc. I really need to cut down on sugar. My nutrition goals started with having a caloric deficit to lose 10 pounds. I think that's already changed. I think I just want to eat healthier and stop eating fast food garbage. I would like to eat chicken/ steak, rice, an egg and veggies for the majority of my meals. I don't really get tired of it. High protein diets are good for gaining lean muscle and weight management. Apparently yogurt is also good, but the healthy yogurts are so tarty. My mom and I have been using a blender so I also take visalus every day or so. I also like Jym products for protein, multivitamins, etc.

So sticking to this nutrition plan is probably 80% of the battle. Nutrition and exercise goals are all about mindset. it's changing your lifestyle and habits, and making better daily choices. In fact, eventually you begin to crave only healthy foods. No one got anywhere by being lazy. Change and transformation takes visualizing who you want to be. It's easy to lose motivation after a week or so. But the key is consistency. Self-love, really is self-discipline. If you want to treat yourself with love, you'll have to take care of yourself holistically. I always say this in my blogs, but health is very holistic. Cognitive, emotional, behavioral, physical, relational, spiritual health are all related and interconnected. In order to improve ourselves holistically we have to make healthy choices in all areas of our life. I would also throw in financial health, because i really need to save money. Make smart investments, invest in yourself, invest in your future by being your best today.

Health and wellness really boils down to self-discipline. Change doesn't happen over night. You have to trust and believe in yourself. it takes self-confidence. Internal locus of control. It's about believing you can achieve your goals by putting in the hard work and dedication. It's a intentional consistency to be relentless to your priorities and healthy habits. And over a period of time, you'll grow closer to the person you want to be.

Compromise, excuses, negative self-talk, complaining, being lazy and instant gratification is easy. Anyone can do it. But look at great athletes, and musicians. What makes them great is that they're willing to put in the time and effort.Nothing stops them or can get in their way.  Fill your life with accountability, people who will encourage you, and things that will remind you of your goals. Reward yourself and celebrate your accomplishments. It's all about taking positive steps in the right direction. What are your priorities? What are your goals for today? Who do you want to be?

'Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.'
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/muhammad_ali_148629

thoughts on procrastination

So I have two really big test coming up. One is a comprehensive exam of all the classes I've taken at Chaminade. They take 10 multiple choice questions from each class. Then there's other material to remember in regards to mental health. And i got my hands on tons of study material and printed it out. I literally have hundreds of condensed notes, terms, concepts and things to remember. It's pretty intimidating when I think about it. There's so much.. The second exam is for counseling licensure.

I don't think i've been this stressed out in a long time. I can pump out research papers, I can deliver presentations, but test have always been my weakness. It does give me anxiety. The root of that anxiety is fear of failure. So today I tried to study, and i didn't get anything done. .I just distracted myself and avoided studying. This blog is really just a prep talk for myself, and to write everything down in my head.

Being with God

Wow. I can't believe I went this long without blogging. it's been about 4 months.

I forgot to do a new years resolution blog, which i always seem to do at the beginning of every year. I think the reason I haven't blogged as much is because 1) i've been super busy. 2) I didn't really come up with a new years resolution, till now.

Trying to meet all the responsibilities is quite exhausting. i've felt the burnout. I even got sick more than once, and had the flu back in november. I literally felt like dying, it was so bad. so i'm still doing church ministry work, an internship at a retirement home, and then graduate night class. Oh and an online class. All of this is more than enough to keep me busy. Everything is going well, but I can't wait till i'm done with school. it's jus way too many requirements. After I graduate I'll need 3000 more hours. crazy right? oh not to mention having to take comprehensive exams and a national mental health counselor licensing exam. The study guides are as big as an encyclopedia. 

It's good to stay busy, but man I'm so happy when i get to take a day off or can sleep in. there's a lot of good netflix shows i've watched lol. Stranger Things, Atypical, Black Mirror, and i just finished La Casa De Papel. Netflix is killin it! so good. It's so nice to just escape into a show sometimes. then u realize, dang its 3am lol. I'm also watching Full Metal Alchemist, Dragon Ball Super and Boruto. 

i'm taking this class on cognitive behavioral therapy. It's great so far. It's all about restructuring our thought process. We have so many automatic negative thoughts, and that affects our behavior and mood. We may likely have thinking errors. These distortions or unhelpful beliefs and false ideologies can lead to mood disorders like depression and anxiety. So in short, therapist are to help clients identify what negative thoughts are accurate or inaccurate. If they're accurate then the question is posed, "Are they helpful in anyway?" Because we have so many negative thoughts that really do us no good. Then on the flip side, how do we cultivate more positive thinking, and how does that affect our mood. When we really pay attention to our environment, our daily habits, health choices, social, spiritual life, we can see how they affect our internal thought life. i think i like to think about what i'm thinking.. we have so many thoughts everyday, sometimes it's best to turn em off. Sometimes it's best to analyze them. Sometimes it's best to question and try to change them.

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